Need a help. I'm suffering from persistent visual disturbances and head pressure.

I've abstained from all drugs since January but I still get negative after-images from everything I look at, walls slightly moving and melting, straight lines keep wiggling, ghosting and double images, thick visual snow, among other symptoms of HPPD. I also feel pressure in my head every moment, which is one of the most debilitating symptoms for me, and occasionally feel like I'm tripping and body euphoria even though I'm completely sober. The only thing that had really gotten better are feeling of anxiety and depersonalization/derealization.

I've been in this hell for almost half a year now, at first it had been getting worse and worse until where I am now with these head pressure and visual symptoms. I think I got this from binging on MDMA for a year and years of using cannabis very heavily. Strangely all of these symptoms hit me after I quit all drugs in this January and progressively got worse. If it's not a disease or just anxiety why am I not getting better after agonizing in this hell for half a year so far?

I've been to several doctors including a neurologist, done many tests but they found nothing is wrong with me physically. I still can carry on everyday activity and do my job, but inside I'm constantly bothered by head pressure and visual disturbances, and worry that it might never go away. I seriously think if it will just keep getting worse until I completely give up. Even though I really miss smoking weed and going to music concerts with my friends, I've given up all those and I'm willing to stay off drugs as long as it takes for this to go away, but in the meanwhile I need help from anyone who had been through this or know about this.


Comments


[10 Points] manchasingpaper:

Most of this is a mild form of physichosis from you over thinking everything. Sounds like you have come to a sort of realization or went through something very traumatizing. I've gone through this exact same thing and have never been the same since although mine started off a bad trip of 25i and my girlfriend yelling at me...i actually believe it's ptsd. It was very bad and I was very depressed for a while but about a year or so later I'm almost normal but now am extremely anxious at times, especially when doing any drugs besides downers. I had to be sober for a very long time till I was comfortable to slowly start smoking weed again. Convincing myself it's all in my head


[10 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

Maybe you suffer from glaucoma, but you were successfully treating it with cannabis to reduce your intra-occular pressure.

this happened to a mate of mine.


[5 Points] patternsofpatterns:

Hang in there man, If you've gone 6 months sober you've exercised an impressive amount of will power and discipline. You'll make it through this. You should take some pride in that.


[6 Points] DMVbandz:

I don't think weeds the problem. A Molly binge like that will always leave lasting effects that will take a long time to go away, if they ever do.


[3 Points] free-agent:

You should try fasting from everything for a short period. Perhaps grab a tent and go hang out in the woods for a week. No food, some water, and definitely no screens of any sort. Go sit by the lake or something, sounds like you need a break from life.


[3 Points] None:

Go to a hospital.


[2 Points] randocmmtr:

You would need to give much more thorough medical details. Lab tests and history. Your symptoms are WAY too severe for you to be actually having them and your neurologist to have found nothing.

Anxiety is a real disorder. People who fucking cry to there doctor just to get a prescription make it seem like some sort of over diagnosed nonsense that you should just tough out, but when you REALLY do have anxiety, you really do have physiological symptoms, and most difficult(and why it is so over diagnosed) is those symptoms have a huge range of possibilities.

Most likely: Anxiety + allergies/chronic sinus infections. When you were smoking weed, your allergies/sinus infections were actually suppressed and you never noticed them.

Not too likely, but possible: Metabolic condition, maybe even a light case of hepatic encephalopathy. It can be hard to diagnose, which is why your doctors missed it. But this would be unrelated to any past drug use. Start drinking a disgusting amount of water, stay away from NSAID's, and make sure to eat healthy.


[1 Points] None:

Can you describe this head pressure a bit more in detail?


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] IsaacDestruction:

I used to have really bad HPPD after a lot of acid use, but stopping all psychedelic use for around a year made it completely go away.


[-6 Points] 2seeB:

Microdose some molly and see if your symptoms go away? I don't want to encourage you but it will reveal whether or not the damage done is from the molly binge. If it is, I can't think there is a lot of hope for you dude :( Permanently rewiring your neuronal network to the point where your 5-sense perception of the world is whacked is probably not reversible. Still, if you can eliminate your head pressure you will still be able to lead a 'normal' life eh? You'll become so used to the trippy shit it wont bother you anymore.


[-9 Points] fu_onion:

Can't answer your request for help but seriously dude, the stories about permanent damage from bad batches (eg the google hits on mdma safety) make me wonder why anyone takes the risk. Hope it's worth it to you.

I would guess that you are an early example of the impending tsunami of fucked up health stories, given the uncertain provenance and safety of the shit people are shovelling down their throats in uncontrolled and undocumented self managed human drug experiments enabled by the DNM these days.

Good luck. I do hope you can find some help but given the uncertainties of what you've actually taken, I'm not sure how anyone can offer useful advice - other than avoid what vendors call mdma unless you've seen a reliable analysis.