Anyone have an idea where to find cyanide?

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but it seems like it is, if not let me know. I'm looking to buy (a small amount of) potassium cyanide. I searched through sheep and bmr and as expected didn't find anything. Does anyone know of a way to get hold of some? Thanks in advance.

Note: I'm not gonna bs you guys, I'm trying to get it for suicide. I'm going to do it either way, but I thought this would be optimal for me. If you're thinking of giving me a lecture or trying to talk me out or tell me to go to /r/SuicideWatch please don't. I've thought about this very carefully and for a long time, and I'm not looking for a discussion. Please only respond if you can help or have other legitimate advice. Thanks!

Edit: alright, there seems to be some confusion here. I'm not a depressed 13-year-old. I'm 48 and have been suffering from an illness. I have just a few years to live naturally, and those few years will likely be very painful and ugly for both myself and my loved ones. We've talked it over thoroughly and the decision we came to was that suicide would be the best option (no assisted suicide where I live), so that none of us have to suffer through this. If you try to convince me using insults, some sort of religious argument, etc, you are wasting your time as my situation isn't what you imagine. That said, I'm sorry for any confusion caused, I thank you for your concerns and I apologise if I have caused anyone to be offended.


Comments


[27 Points] None:

[deleted]


[10 Points] None:

I believe it is used for gold plating and it should be obtainable normally over the net, without need for going through markets like this. I don't recommend it though; it must be a terrible way to go. Other posters have better suggestions.


[9 Points] None:

there was a vendor on the old silk road who sold KCN. maybe they've moved to one of the other markets. sorry i don't remember the name. if you're not terminally ill, i would suggest getting on an antidepressant. WORKED 4 ME!


[3 Points] None:

This dude should have been more upfront about his terminal illness and how he wasn't just some teenager, then maybe someone could have helped him. There was an SR seller from Spain that sold cyanide, can't remember his name though.

Looks like he isn't going to come back to this sub again, can't say I don't blame him. I hope he finds what he's looking for. I think it's fucked up we can put animals out of their misery but not humans.


[5 Points] None:

No clue how to get KCN, do a helium exit bag. It's painless.

I just wanna say, I understand man. Good luck my friend. I'm sorry it had to come to this.


[2 Points] TheLionShare26:

If you choose death by cyanide it will most likely be ruled as a homicide (given that not many choose death by cyanide-but it is a good ole' standby for many a murderers).The blame could end up falling back to the people who are near and dear to you. Unless that is your intention to frame a particular person....in which case it is a swell idea! Will probably go off without a hitch!


[3 Points] ZombieMushroom420:

I don't know if this is even possible, but doing nitrous oxide and slowly cranking up the amount until suffocation sounds way less painful than cyanide, maybe even enjoyable haha.


[2 Points] op_pls:

Just get a tank of helium and do an exit bag.


[2 Points] thdfgsewrw:

I have also been down there before and you have most certainly more options and people that care about you than you think. I also often just think about people who are even worse off than myself and they still are able to live with their problems. Just don't simply give up and try to face your problems instead. You don't really have anything to lose by trying to get your life back on the line, but just giving up would mean throwing it all away and surrender. You already mentioned /r/suicidewatch , I think you should still give them a try, because sometimes it's good to have someone who listens to your problems, even though they won't just go away. And in my case I had a lot of problems which looked absolutely unbearable about 2 years ago and I just didn't care about anything anymore until a particularly bad life event, which made me decide that I at least won't give up with a fight and today I am still dealing with a lot of those old problems but they are quite manageable now.


[2 Points] MXP1971:

This is a terrible idea.

If you're legitimately in this much pain, the better option would be turning on your car in the garage and forgetting to open the garage door.


[2 Points] HiroGlaph:

Cyanide can be extracted from apple seeds.


[2 Points] boofk:

If this is just a cover for a murder, if youre using your own computer they will find this. If youre really trying to die, as others have said, buy a good amount of heroin and sleeping pills. You dont have to shoot it, just sniff a bunch. Cyanide is a terrible way to die.


[2 Points] tengu1337:

anyone have an update on what happened to this poor fellow? sad situation...


[1 Points] None:

Someone else said ambian. I second that. I ODed on it a while ago and it was nothing if not extremely pleasant. And if you like tripping balls, cool! because you will. I'm sorry you're in this position. Leave a note, but don't save everything you need to say to people for the note. You're about to kill yourself - get it all out of your system. Have a good one.


[1 Points] s1wg4u:

You might be able to buy the assisted suicide meds online. Id look into that. It's a much more peaceful way to go compared to cyanide. Seriously.


[1 Points] MrMMbikboipenis:

You should drop a ten strip first, or maybe a heavy dose of dmt. Other than that heroin sounds pretty chill :)


[1 Points] CommodoreCatfish:

You seem pretty set on your decision and it's not my place to deny your liberty and try to change your mind. If I was going to off myself I'd inhale pure nitrogen. The painful part of suffocation is the build up of carbon dioxide, not a lack of oxygen. Cyanide seems like a terrible way to go. Since you have access to darknet sites, why not get some DMT or acid first? It could be your last chance.


[1 Points] None:

If I were in your shoes, I'd do a strip of LSD, 1 gram of MDMA, and once you're ready to go, take a load of Heroin.

Probably the most painless way to go IMO.


[1 Points] dudewhatthehellman:

Take some MDMA before you decide to do something as drastic as that. I hope this isn't too late.


[0 Points] trancephorm:

maybe the better option is heroin overdose?


[-1 Points] mewkittyboo:

You know, maybe you should try methoxetamine, it makes life very silly depending on your perspective. Fuck arouind witrh soem drugs hewre and there, you'll see beuty in the ugliness we call life.

I mean If I had cancer, I think I'd hold on to life until it got unbearable and go out in a state of bliss. At 48 you should be really holding on to the last minute man. Obviously people love you, so I would suggest brain drugs over cyanide, something that will make you feel good and derpy and see pretty colors and wittiness and sarcasm. Choose an OD that brings out the best in you.


[-4 Points] Honkeyass:

Try ricin, it's easy to make, it's on wikihow


[-5 Points] g2n:

Are we really helping this guy kill himself?


[-14 Points] Allah_Shakur:

hold your breath till ur death. Seriously, life doesn't matter that much, if your not in pain and your life just sucks because of illness and you feel like shit, shed your old skin, be creative about your decrepitude, mess with people that surrounds you or just hang yourself with a impeach bieber sign around your neck.


[-15 Points] None:

Dont take your own life. There is someone out there who would love to be in your shoes


[-18 Points] None:

Regardless of what you said, I really hope you dont take your own life. What a shame it would be, selfish and cowardly to take your own life. Be a man put on your work boots and get through whatever is dragging you down. Hopefully you dont get your hands on any.


[-22 Points] Clockwork-I:

What an attention seeking fuck.


[-25 Points] KniggerKnocK:

Coward