Police showed up at my house this morning. Handled like a pro.

I just opened up my package of 1/2 o of blackberry kush, and ten minutes later I here, POUND POUND POUND. I look out the outside window, and see an SUV with tinted windows. I'm like, jesus fucking christ. I walk down the steps and YUP, flashing a sheriff's badge through the little window above the door.

I immediately opened the door just enough to slide out and closed it behind me. They asked to come inside, and said they weren't interested in anything that I had. Coming from a cop, I was like, likely story. And so I said, that I was sorry, but my house was just so cluttered that I was embarrassed to let them in. I said I was a hoarder, and they would think I was crazy. This is not true of course, but I thought it was a pretty good explanation. I still have needles and shit all over the place from my recent days of heroin abuse, and the half ounce just sitting out in the dining room. Hell no were they coming in.

Turns out, they didn't give a fuck about me. I live in the hood, and there was a murder last weekend, and they thought the suspect was living in an abandoned house two doors down. They showed me his picture, and confirmed I'd never seen him, and that I thought the lady who owned the house had died a few years ago and it had been vacant since.

Then, we just started joking around. I told her about my new girlfriend who came over last night for the first time, and how she stepped outside to hear the first gunshots in her life. The cops and I were laughing, like, she'll get used to. Don't join a gang, and you ain't getting shot. And they confirmed that yes, that was a murder she had heard. Lovely.

But jesus, if seeing that sheriff's badge right after opening the kush scare the crap out of me.


Comments


[321 Points] nassynas:

you lucky you're white


[83 Points] goodbyeheron:

Remember everybody, do NOT let the cops prop the door open. Stay outside and close it behind you. Come up with a non-threatening or defensive excuse like I did, and if they press just say, in principle I believe in taking advantage of my 4th Amendment rights. If they have a warrant, they'll bang down your door when you don't answer or decline to let them enter. Just don't be a dick to cops. There are some people that it is not in your interest to piss off when you are in this business. And if they want to ask you questions about you personally, that's when you say am I being detained? If the answer is anything but yes, go back inside and tell them to have a nice day.


[69 Points] highrish:

How much of a fucking jerkoff would you feel like if you have like flushed your shit before opening the door. Imagine that? Fuck.


[23 Points] Makinmyliferight:

And so I said, that I was sorry, but my house was just so cluttered that I was embarrassed to let them in.

...

I told her about my new girlfriend who came over last night for the first time

Not exactly pro material.


[10 Points] Silky_R:

Great read, thanks for sharing the story. Glad everything turned out OK, that probably could've turned sour quick.


[9 Points] LongLiveThe_King:

Good job man. You did pretty much everything right. Stepping out and closing the door, being polite and being helpful without acting all sketchy. The excuse is a little overkill, but I think given the circumstances it was the right call.

Would you mind if I barr'd this?


[3 Points] None:

And so I said, that I was sorry, but my house was just so cluttered that I was embarrassed to let them in. I said I was a hoarder, and they would think I was crazy.

In my case, that'd be true. I don't do any drugs, have any paraphernalia and there is nothing illegal in my house, BUT I'd never let a cop (or anyone else) in my house due to embarrassment. My house is EXTREMELY cluttered with bikes, bike tools, bike parts, etc... I never have any company because it is too damn embarrassing.

Thus, that is a TOTALLY reasonable explanation.


[3 Points] None:

well played good sir. stepping out and closing the door behind you is seriously the best move whenever a cop comes to your door. would save a lot of people from going to jail.


[1 Points] UrOpsecSux:

Why even answer the door?


[2 Points] shinzantetsu:

good god,i woulda poopied a little in my pants.But thats what u gotta do...play it cool dont freak out try and be slick as possible without getting caught.


[1 Points] None:

Was it permagrins blackberry? Just got mine today and OH MY SHIT.


[1 Points] Gazillion_ear:

That's great news. Also, that is my favorite indica. Nothing puts me down like BBK.


[1 Points] CDRCRDS:

Damn you live in a city where you were about kush delivery? Damn.


[0 Points] The_Funky_Shaman:

Thanks that was a cool story. Enjoy the dope. And dont join a gang xD


[0 Points] PosiVibes3:

Lol they only wanted to come in so they wouldn't get capped


[-12 Points] trancephorm:

are you fuckin that stupid? so this story comes to cop and next thing he do he arrests you.