I'm concerned that some people are giving shitty (and very damaging) legal advice on this sub. A few days ago, I read a post about search warrants. Someone felt they were qualified to describe how a LE officer could apply a warrant during a search. The advice was SO FUCKING WRONG, that I felt I needed to correct his errors. Whoever takes his advice will be legally reamed by the system. I'd like to help, but my professional obligations and oath prevent me from directly helping to further a criminal enterprise. (I know that sounds harsh, but I also do NOT want to give advice that could be misconstrued, misapplied, or given under a mutual or unilateral mistake of fact. I will not risk harming you.)
I've read posts asking basic legal questions. The correct advice is to send that person for a consultation with an attorney. I know that's often difficult, expensive, and awkward. As such, I'm not going to recommend that unless you have an immediate need, e.g. you're being investigated or have been arrested.
If you have non-particular questions about the law, such as your state's search laws, warrant laws, probable cause issues, reasonable suspicion questions, how to assert your constitutional rights (and when), then you DO need to speak to an attorney. And, btw, any 'DWI attorney' or 'jack of all trades attorney' is ALWAYS a shitty attorney.
But there is an alternative. That alternative is the fucking bar! I don't mean the State Bar or the ABA, I mean one that serves hard drinks for men who want to get drunk fast, AKA Criminal Defense Lawyers.
If you live in the parish/county seat, then the court house is downtown. I promise you there is a bar very near the court house where your local badass criminal defense lawyers are getting drunk at least one day each week. The hang out will either be a SHITTY dive or a classy joint- there won't be any thing in the middle. Sometimes, they hang out at the bars of expensive hotels or restaurants. (This is usually because lawyers get DEEP discounts on drinks- usually half off.) The almost universal thing is that there is ONE main bar that each and every criminal defense lawyer in the county knows is THE bar. Find it. It's within walking distance of the court house because serious defense lawyers have offices near the court house for convenience (and coolness). I live in one of the largest cities in the US. There are exactly one bar and one classy restaurant that are the 'hangout.'
Go and make friends and buy a few drinks. Then ask away! My colleagues regularly will talk shop because they LOVE this shit. Sadly, most of them are drug addicts or alcoholics. These guys are always committing drug misdemeanor crimes and looking to party. Some of them can score drugs, but most can't. I know a bunch of guys that would love a solid connect for weed or coke without having to ask their cousins or brothers in law to "hook them up." Go make friends and be that guy- that's the best way to insulate yourself and have people that will come and help you if you're ever in trouble. Make FUCKING friends. It is that easy.
All of my friends get completely shit faced and will give explicit advice over bourbon- oftentimes for hours. They will tell you exactly how to cluster fuck an investigation as it happens (under your State laws). They will tell you all you ever needed to know. And they will most likely buy your drugs. Of all the professions in the world, criminal defense attorneys will NOT 'call the cops' on you for asking them if they get high, or if they want a xanax as a side car. They professionally can't do that- so it's a win-win for you. It's an ethical and legal obligation to the public. DO NOT tell them about your criminal enterprises. He might suspect, and that's totally fine, just don't be explicit. Even if it's obvious by action, don't say it.
All the guys I know love raves. They love going to the ones with the hot girls and the paint shit. We are currently planning to go to EDC next year. (Electric Daisy something..?) They are usually too smart and awkward to score drugs on site because they sound like fucking attorneys. Generally, they also love pussy. So, if you're the free-wheeling drug dealing guy with lots of women, then you should 'up' your game and add some lawyers to your circles.
I recommend you go early on Friday afternoons, usually after two. Try again after five. Ask the bartender if any of his regulars are criminal defense. The bartenders usually know who is who. Go to places that make good drinks, mixologist-type places. As always, bring a hot girl or two. Most of these guys were the insufferable nerd that likes doing drugs and couldn't get himself laid. There is a reason they chose their profession, and that's to 'fuck the man.' If you're a criminal, then you already have a lot in common with these guys.
How to spot an attorney- We wear suits to the bar. If your city has a law school, or it's Summer, then there might be clerks with backpacks. A clerk is a student lawyer. Clerks are a sign that the attorneys are serious scholars and probably dead-effective, as most clerks get paid little to nothing. Male lawyers generally do not wear jewelry. Female lawyers will keep it at a minimum. Male attorneys will almost ALWAYS have leather soled shoes- it's a thing, don't ask why. In the Western US, look for custom cowboy boots. Again, I'm not sure why, but it's a thing. Pocket squares and bow ties are also common to criminal attorneys. The best way to introduce yourself is to ask if you saw them at the courthouse a while ago. That he/she was talking to a (insert local common race) guy and what he was saying was a trip/cool.
In closing, I feel like I should throw the community a bone. Do not trust anyone on the internet. It is a certainty that some (if not many) high, high profile users are LE. (They will even order drugs and do reviews.) I would bet a testicle that at least one Mod works for the DEA. I'm not trying to start shit. But be very careful about your privacy. Be vigilant about guarding your privacy, you have a Constitutional right to do so.
About Me: I came to dnm a while ago to do research on a proposed law review article. Specifically, I was planning a paper that compares dnm contract formation types to UCC specifications between merchants and non-merchants. The similarities are so striking that it effectively makes the legal paper boring. Meh. I have several published articles in law reviews and professional magazines, so it's not a big loss. Additionally, the people I work with (and have worked for) are HIGH profile professionals that make the news for big, big cases. Humbly stated, I'm a big fucking deal. I work with people that kingpins with unlimited funds call for help. Sometimes we can restore their liberties, sometimes not- it depends on the evidence and the charges. Let's leave it at that.
You could probably make a nice secondary income if you PM the admins on DN MP's and apply your knowledge to OUR cause. I think the community could use a guy like you (and your friends) to handle legal advice etc. Consider it, because i read your post and it had great info and you could probably provide a lot more insight anonymously on Tor, rather than here on Reddit; where your career or freedom could be put in jeopardy.