My experience buying something with Monero

There have been a bunch on this subreddit jerking off about how great Monero is, so I gave it an honest try.

Well, TL;DR: It's been a pain in the ass for me.

So I tried got $100 worth of BCH on Coinbase because it's the only website that allows me to buy something that isn't BTC without raping me on charges(>12%).

I then tried to use Changelly to turn it into XMR. Everything is going great until I click finalize, and then it says the network is fucking down. Well that's just fucking great.

So then I try Shapeshift, even though they may be "monitoring me" because some higher up is working with the feds. IDGAF, I want my drugs, and when it becomes XMR, it'll be anonymous, right?

Well, I sent the amount they ask for to exchange for a certain amount of XMR, thinking that as long as I have $5 more than the items price, then I can deal with whatever bullshit fees they'll come up with, even though they've told me the amount of Monero I'm getting.

Well guess what, motherfuckers?

I check my MyMonero wallet a few minutes later, and I'm short 2 fucking dollars! GODDAMIT!!!!11~!

Alright, fine, I'll send more BCH through Shapeshift and get more XMR, nbd, right?

Nope! I'm short $3 in the BCH I need to transfer to Shapeshift, because what BCH is supposed to be super fungible, it ain't that fungible. That and Coinbase are a bunch of dicks.

Ok, so I figure I'll just look up somebody selling XMR on localmonero.co and get some more. Easy peasy.

Nope! Not so fast, asshole(me)!

There is only one seller that that is doing cash deposits(the only reasonable option that isn't Western Union or snail mail), and he wants a minimum of $100 at %19 interest. Fuck that.

Ok, I figure I'll just go to a BTC atm and get more BCH that way, that way I won't have to deal with anymore online bullshit. "Oh look," I say, "there is an ATM not too far away open early tomorrow. I can buy BCH there, my problem is solved!"

So can you guess what happens the next day after I go the ATM? I'm not gonna wait for an answer, because I'm really fucking pissed right now.

The goddamn thing was down, and the clueless lady at the register has no idea when it will be back up.

Fuck, fuck fuckity fuck, this just isn't my day.

But you know what, I was not gonna let this bull shit stop me, I am just gonna buy less today. Thank god Wallstreet market lets you adjust your buy amounts with precision(It's really no that bad of a market!)

So I look at my account today and guess what? XMR had lost 15 fucking percent of it's value in one terrible horrible, no good very bad day. I lost $11 of this pain in the ass currency. I am now at a loss for words.

So I resign myself to getting about half of what I initially intended to buy, and set up another trade. Cool, he accepted, all I have to do is deposit the funds, right?

Wrong again, FUCKFACE!

MyMonero -the website I used because I didn't want to download a program and type a bunch of command line gobbledygook- is now saying "Not enough spendable outputs / balance too low (have:xxxxxxxx need:xxxxxxxxxxxx)"

So great, now I have to set up a fucking wallet and do it from there because of some dumbass bug. Or is it a bug, and will I still be unable to send the XMR because I don't have a minimum of $XX dollars in my fucking account?

JFC, it feels like everything(Buying, shapeshifting, volatility, transferring) that is involved with XMR a pain in the ass. FML

EDIT: I took a deep breath and took a stab at it again. The GUI is really cool, so I've got the hang of it now.


Comments


[5 Points] savingfluffybunnies:

I then tried to use Changelly

Shapeshift

Nothing Monero can do about them.

thinking that as long as I have $5 more than the items price,

Seriously 5$? 10-20% over rule is always in effect. Having a few dollars left over from a transaction doesn't mean a good transaction, it means you almost fucked up.

it ain't that fungible.

Not what fungible means. Fungible means each piece of currency is of equal value to every other piece of currency. Monero is fungible because it's anonymous so there's no taint to devalue coins based on where they've been (the DNMs).

XMR on localmonero.co

Yeah Monero has nothing for p2p trading yet, you may have more luck with BitSquare.

Ok, I figure I'll just go to a BTC atm

Not much Monero can do about this but lol at the luck you're having.

Thank god Wallstreet market lets you adjust your buy amounts

That's pretty cool actually. Smart feature.

I lost $11 of this pain in the ass currency.

Welcome to crypto.

MyMonero

FYI the GUI is out so you don't need to use the cli.

Not enough spendable outputs / balance too low (have:xxxxxxxx need:xxxxxxxxxxxx)"

Monero requires you to have more then what you're sending to help hide your transaction amounts. Sending to another wallet won't help & will only make it worse.

Honestly dude, yes Monero is more difficult to use but this transaction was a result of your own actions. You failed to research the coin your using & understand how it works, you didn't account for volatility & you took more than a day to complete the transaction. DNM transactions need to happen fast or this is what happens.

Considering how low your amounts are you don't even need to be using Monero.


[2 Points] MRLvv5:

Well the fiat --> monero problem (without getting rekt by fees) has not been solved yet.

With $250+ amounts it is much easier. Coinbase / shapeshift will cuck you hard with fees, but they seem to be the best options atm. If you use XMR.to or xmrto2bturnore26.onion/nojs/ with larger amounts it usually works pretty well. It might be a pain in the ass, but using a complete anonymous cryptocurrency should be expensive. (usually its worth the price imo)


[2 Points] SloppyJoeLieberman:

For contrast, here's how my experience went:

Bought LTC → transferred it for cheap to a personal wallet → used VPN to exchange it for Monero via Changer.com → used GUI Monero wallet and loaded remote node in meantime until daemon could sync → received Monero in personal wallet → sent to market for cheap. Took maybe an hour or so total and the most expensive fee was from Changer.com which was maybe like 5% or less?

Also, just download the Monero GUI wallet instead of the command line one. Makes it easier for those with less CLI experience.


[1 Points] BullshitFreeZone:

This post made me happy you just described gnu linux


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[0 Points] theseeker01:

Well they always tell you buy more than you need due to fees and price changes and to be fair this happened cause you didn't do that you can't blame Monero this would of happened with other cryptos that have fees. Although the BTC atm just sounds like a shitty gimmick. Also I learned to always buy 15 to 20% extra to cover for price changes. Wouldn't just sending BTC to an exhange and trading for monero come out the same Paxful lets you buy BTC and transfer it for free once so you could just keep making throw away and like buy with WU or Wire transfers. I think you can get it for 10-12% which sounds like it could be quicker and cheaper. It's a pain but remember you're talking about possibly risking your freedom each time you buy.


[0 Points] rdar1999:

The 3 dollars you got screwed using BCH was shapeshift, BCH is fungible and is VERY cheap.

Let me give you an easy solution to achieve more privacy:

First care for security, so enable 2FA in your reddit account (you need to be a mod in some subreddit, if you are not create some random subreddit).

Then, create a second reddit account and do the same thing as above.

Set any of the subreddits you created as private and invite all your nicks there.

Transfer funds to your nicks by using tippr (see r/tippr).

tip yourself in your private subreddit.

Withdraw your funds to a new BCH address.

Erase the posts just in case.

Done, you mixed your coins with other's coins.

A second option: use CashShuffle function in electron cash wallet.

cheers


[0 Points] Immaloner:

You just described my first experience with this shitcoin to a tee. Except your MyMonero didn't lose the entire fucking balance and then demand $65 to restore the wallet's history.


[0 Points] AutoModerator:

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