Truly, this is not a joke. I speak this from my heart. If this seems like it belongs in another place, mods, I will move it.
About 3 or so years ago my buddy in college what was the Silk Road. I didn't believe it was real, so we grabbed about 65 BTC (I believe the price was around $1.02-$1.10/BTC), and tried to order and eighth of weed. When the package arrived, I had butterflies like I used to have when I was young, seeing presents under a tree.
It fucking worked. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Up until about 8 months ago, I was a psychedelic connoisseur that had love for LSD, MDMA, MDA, tryptamines, phenethylamines, strains of psilocybin and whatever else caught my eye. The 'dark net' had introduced me to all these substances that were wonderful, and I couldn't ever get them in my area of town.
I then was planning out a normal trip as I always did. Making sure I spaced out the trip with my last one, and I had nothing to do on this particular day. I don't know if I just had bad luck, or it was just my brain telling me to stop.
I took 200ug+ of LSD, ending off the trip with MDMA (yes, reagent tested) and everything went very smooth. I loved the trip.
That night, I couldn't help to think of it as one of my better and more enjoying trips. It was truly great. No nausea, nothing unusual.
The next day, came the downfall. I began seeing afterglows and halo-like outlines around various objects, more prominently in the dark. Streaks followed as I looked around in direction. I shrugged it off as the MDMA-amphetamine like afterglow.
Following along, I took 100mg of Seraquel and slept like a baby. It was fucking great. When I woke up, effects came on harder. I felt as if I was tripping again. Things didn't feel real. I felt as if I was lucid dreaming in a horrible nightmare. I didn't want to communicate with anyone, or be around anyone. I sat in my room and tried to thing what was going on. This feeling continued for a while.
I knew what HPPD was at the time, and I was convinced that I had it. I looked up common symptoms and people sharing their story as well, and I saw it as a good thought to find a doctor who could help me. Every doctor who I explained my problems to, had heard of HPPD, but didn't have much knowledge on it. I kept getting turned away.
I finally got referred to a neurologist, and I explained that throughout the day that my symptoms can go from bright flashes of light, to just seeing static everywhere. I sometimes see square-like tiles on the ground when it's bright out side, and they get smaller when I look further away.
There's not much I can do about it. I miss the feeling of planning a trip out. The feeling you get right when you're about to come up, and you know you're coming up hard. I use heroin to help sedate myself, and it makes things easier to handle. But I can't go day to day using, because the withdrawals are fucking horrid. I binge for 2 days, then the next 7 I stay clean. No needles, just my nose, IV'g has a weird feeling to it, and it makes me just want to sleep. No matter what kind of H. #4, BTH, etc. The only H that has been worth to IV was CaliClaire, and I believe she is AWOL.
I know this is just me fucking rambling on about bullshit, but anyways, back to my original point, I am jealous. I wish I could trip again, even though I probably shouldn't ever think about doing it again. Ah, I wish I could, but I can't.
As I type this, it's really hard to focus at the screen due to the annoying afterglow.
Consider your self lucky when you trip. HPPD is rare, but it's real.
If you want your HPPD to go away, take a break from drugs. That includes heroin.