Vendor Reviews -/\- TJP & Ms_Humble -/\- 2g meth

Details
Vendor: [Ms_Humble]
Market: [Alphabay]
Product: [2g meth]
Incentives for Review?: [NO?]
Shipped from: [US]
Shipped to: [US]
Required FE: [NO]
Vacuum Sealed: [YES?]
Decoy: [YES]
Handwriting: [NO?]
Rating
Communication: [10] / 10
Stealth: [10] / 10
Shipping time: [10] / 10
Price value: [10] / 10
Aesthetics: [10] / 10
Weight: [10] / 10
Quality: [10] / 10
Transaction: [10] / 10
Vendor: [10] / 10
Drug: [10] / 10
TOTAL SCORE: [100] / 100

https://anonimage.net/view/4hds2dLQ

I'd apologize for the image quality but idk what you wanna see anyways. You aesthetic obsessed blowhards need to get over it.

Note that the 2, which you cannot see on this shitty image, is the same as IceGod's.

Theories:

1) IceGod gave up his status as Lord of the People Who Say Eh? so that his American fans could order without fear of international scandal

2) IceGod had a sex change, moved to America, and is using that one community college business class he took to create a seductive female spinoff brand

3) There's a formulaic way to write the number 2 that is universally applauded for its stealthiness

I'd offer more input, but I'd rather just start a rumor mill, so get to it already.

Ms_Humble gets a perfect score for me for a number of reasons. Quality response to my uncontrollable jabberjaw (to know thy customers, one must know thyself ;)), arrived in the stated time minus a day after being told she (it's definitely a he, though, right people?) wasn't going to ship it til tomorrow, very good stealth with a flawless decoy. I thought IceGod was better, if only because I would -never- open it due to suspicion, but if this were opened it would not induce a second glance.

I didn't weigh it, because I don't have a scale, but it looked right. You're judging me for being lazy, and I don't care. Tiny crystals, a few larger chunks, but none of the 'huge shards' people are crazy about. Not a negative, to me.

I took a little bit (don't scold me for being unscientific, you fucking OCD motherfuckers), and it went a long way. No tweakiness (IceGod's, which was quite good, was nevertheless very tweaky and more noticeably cut), crisp run, long lasting, and vibrant.

This is why I hate when people review immediately after receiving the product, because it takes real time for the product to open up. Like a fine wine. I'm in a hurry right now, so you'll have to forgive my shitty analogies. You'll find out why during the TJP review (foreshadowing!).

I went on a group getaway. Initially, I planned to sleep at the function, but was having difficulty because of, well, the meth. This is when the magic happened. I decided to boof. Having never done it, I just lubed up, licked my finger, stabbed the site, and shoved it in there. Everything I'd been promised in my past life was given to me in that second. Though on my 3rd day with no sleep, it carried me from 6 am til 1 pm. I was energetic, friendly, and almost certainly hilarious; most importantly, not noticeably tweaked. Of course, some people find this sort of extroverted behavior obnoxious, but you can't do anything for them. Besides, slaying my introvert within is the reason I enjoy this drug so much.

Later, the dangers of boofing became readily apparent to me. I dipped, I dove. It was so good I went back for seconds. And thirds, and fourths...I was planning to draw a line, but, anticipating TJP on my return home, I abandoned prudence.

I boofed a little over half of what was initially in the bag. It was reckless, excessive, and highly recommended. I will attempt to avoid continuing this style of consumption, since I am not a wealthy man, but knowing myself...resistance does not come easily.

All told, excellent experience. I went on a true 4 day bender and came out the other side without a scrape. I have a detailed blog on this I can post if people want a more complete portrayal. My review for IceGod's product is a 10,000 word epic that I trimmed to 3,000. I've never seen reviews that long on here, so I've been hesitating to post it. Tell me you want that shit, and it's yours. (Btw, it's very, very gay, so buyer beware, she has a dick)

Details
Vendor: [Tijuanapaisa]
Market: [Alphabay]
Product: [2g meth]
Incentives for Review?: [NO?]
Shipped from: [US]
Shipped to: [US]
Required FE: [YES]
Vacuum Sealed: [YES?]
Decoy: [NO]
Handwriting: [NO?]
Rating
Communication: [0] / 10
Stealth: [0] / 10
Shipping time: [0] / 10
Price value: [??] / 10
Aesthetics: [??] / 10
Weight: [??] / 10
Quality: [??] / 10
Transaction: [??] / 10
Vendor: [??] / 10
Drug: [??] / 10
TOTAL SCORE: [??] / 100

Now this is a story, all about how / My life got flipped, turned upside down / I'd like you to take a moment, just sit right there / I'll tell you how I came to live in a car under the viaduct

Expectations for TJP were non-existent, I knew his product was hit or miss, by his own admission. Everyone knows he has the best prices on the market, and being that he is such a large vendor, I'm sure that he has a decent level of sophistication for his op. Reading up on him, I knew his stealth was mediocre, but I had expected -something-. Baseline shipping protocol was not followed.

My flatmates flagged this package immediately, because I gone too far with IceGod's product and they pegged my behavior quickly. (Note: injecting large quantities of this shit is very not recommended) So I was on something of a first and final warning type of deal. I was gone when it arrived (big mistake on my part, I'll admit, it said 5 days and it took every one of them) and while I was not pleased with them for opening it, it's hard to complain about privacy when your bottom bitch finds your texts to your side bae.

They told me to leave, or they would call the cops. I explained that calling the cops would be a very bad idea for all involved, but that I would go regardless. Having already experienced their treatment after my erratic IceGod session (I shot up nearly a gram without knowing. Tell me you don't want to read this), I was not interested in participating in our utterly crumbling relationship.

But this viaduct is pretty cozy, so I got that going for me.

Some notes:

1) Totally my fault. I should have timed the order better, I shouldn't have double ordered, I should have heeded warning signs about the stealth given my living situation, and I should have gotten a PO box when I knew there was a non-zero possibility of my package being opened. Look at me growing from this experience instead of sulking!

2) TJP needs to bump up his stealth. Period. Do it for your own damn sake, if not for your customers. Moreover, this is a free market (is it tho?) and the competition is real and fierce. I would reorder from the lady Humble well before I even considered seeing what sort of deals TJP had.

3) Don't do meth. Holistically, it really isn't that bad, but public reaction to it is overwhelmingly negative and I have burned a number of relationships just based on the fact that I am labeled. If people find out, they will judge you. And someone will figure it out, because the tells are obvious as fuck. Even my most dedicated attempts to withdraw from interaction with others have resulted in being outed. Knowing that people whisper "meth addict" about you behind your back does not feel good. There are lots of other quality stimulants out there if you need to finish that essay tonight. Go find them. (This message brought to you by the SQS Harm Reduction foundation. OP is not responsible for the content of this message.)

Don't worry about me though, guys. I went to my IRL guy straight away and currently have a lovely pebble nestled gently in my lower intestines. I'm doing just fine.


Comments


[5 Points] RIP_Meth_9000:

I am the METH Demi-God /u/RIP_Meth_9000 & I approve of OP's review & screen name.....Bahahahahahahaaa!!!!!!


[4 Points] Ms_Humble:

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ OK! stop with the conspiracy therories please! 1. I am in no way connected to ICEGOD, my meth is cooked here and I do not know him, and yes I am female, or am I!?!!? haha ;) Guess you will never know and it does not matter.

I enjoyed the review a lot, but please dont refer to me as ICEGOD, NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT ONE! :) Dicks are gross!

Thank you for the perfect score! But god I cannot say enough please dont call myself or product ICEGOD'S. Not true.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡


[3 Points] Knowgusto:

I couldn't figure out how you felt after using TJP's product. Funny and good review. Brilliant Gilligan's reference. User review about vendor review 8/10


[3 Points] Squanch_You2:

Lmao rip meth9000 meets sleep... for the first time


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