Funny descriptions that you've seen vendors use to describe their product.

I've seen a UK weed vendor describe the high from his weed as being "psychotic but not physical" which really made me laugh.

Just wondering what things others have seen over the years.


Comments


[23 Points] evil_olive23:

GWL is always funny. Here is one from his Cialis listing

Among erectile dysfunction drugs, Cialis (tadalafil) has become >famous as the "weekend pill." 20mg may keep your John Thomas >ready for action for as long as 36 hours. That's right, my friends, >for one low price you can have more than two weeks' worth of >erections. Where else but the Grand Wizard's Lair can you find a >deal like that?

These are Tadarise-20s, generic tadalafil manufactured in India. >India has a well-developed and world-class pharmaceutical >industry: they also gave us the Kama Sutra. Just one of these >has the Wizard's little Sorcerer's Apprentice standing to attention >faster than naked pictures of Padma Laxmi.

As per our logo, these pills will indeed help you to fuck her right >in the pussy. But we don't discriminate at the Grand Wizard's >Lair. After taking these you can fuck her (or him) right in any >orifice you please. You can give it to your boyfriend: you can give >them to the basketball team and have an on-court evening you'll >never forget. You can even give it to your girlfriend, as tadalafil >has been shown to improve blood flow to the labia and clitoris. >But be sure to save one for yourself because as soon as this hits >she'll be begging you to... well, we know where this is going, >don't we?

His clonotril listings were pretty funny too. Something about having a few drinks and waking up several states away with a suitor who thinks you have a "purty" mouth


[17 Points] BurbankJoe:

Optimon has an electrical outlet hiding stash and says its the exact same one used in breaking bad. Trying to buy hype of BB when all Walt did was tape the ricin to the wall plate.

edit: one is not even a freaking wall plate, lol.

Did you watch breaking Bad? Do you remember where Walter hided the Ricin ? In a plug , right? When he came back to his house, after the whole place was a wrack the Ricin was still there, in his wall plug stash! It's the best hiding place in your house ! Be smart like Walter White and hide your stuff there!


[16 Points] talktomejuan:

"90% pure coke."

That's false 100% of the time.


[14 Points] None:

Sand, like from the fucking beach.


[10 Points] wasmynameagain:

I can't quote it, but here is was an example for Mirkov, an english Coke (among other things now I think) vendor who is known for his VERY high quality % cola:

"Be ready with a hooker on hand after purchasing this coke, it's going to make you want to fuck anything that moves"

It was true. Very true. IDK how coke does that, or if it's a cut, but to this day he has had the most pure coke I've ever had.


[6 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

One of my customers messaged me with a description of a 3-way he had with his Mrs and her friend, thanking me for making it happen.

I asked him if I could use it as the product listing. He agreed, and I copied and pasted it, verbatim.


[3 Points] None:

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[2 Points] None:

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