I am one lucky duck!
Okay for those that were curious - I'm an MXE vendor. I'm not going to namedrop myself as this wasn't a publicity stunt lol and I'm really not hurting for business. The package was 500 grams. Not the biggest order I've made, but still nothing to shake a finger at.
After reviewing the thread last night (and seeing the post "be the one who knocks") I decided - hey, what the fuck WOULD Walter White do in this situation? He certainly wouldn't sit on his ass, paranoid waiting for LE to come knocking. So I decided that I was going to go to the local post office and harass the shit out of the people there until I got my package back. But that wasn't necessary! Whoever got my package must have been a really fucking cool dude/chick, as they decided to drive directly to my apartment this morning and handed it to the kind folks in the office, who promptly emailed me and let me know.
I think the lesson here is that I realllyyyyyy need to get my drop set up. And those who are moving any sort of volume should do the same. I actually was the one who posted the thread a week or two ago titled "let's talk drops". I suggest everyone check it out and get their shit in order - because this just goes to show that even if your vendor has perfect stealth you're still at risk if you're getting it mailed to your personal address due to the overall incompetence of USPS.
Thank you though to everyone in the thread yesterday that provided feedback, informed me of the chain of custody laws, etc. It really helped ease my mind.
You are super fucking lucky dude