Laundering a lot of money

So I've been a vendor for a little while and I've made a lot of money. About $200,000. I have read all the advice on laundering it and everything, but I'm a pretty young dude. There is no way someone with my history and age could have earned nearly this much money. No way someone like me could have started a business or bought a house or something. I convert bitcoin to cash a lot and have been using that to pay for most everything, but I can't spend the cash fast enough.

So /r/DNMs, give me some advice. How can I get this money out of my bitcoin wallet and into my bank? It's gotta be something along the lines of starting a small shell business, but I wanted to hear your guys' feedback.


Comments


[61 Points] AlpraKing:

Buy/create paid porn sites.

have an option to buy a subscription in bitcoins.

buy your own subscriptions (a lot)

When asked source of wealth, say you're king of porn.


[29 Points] ArronRodgersButthole:

www.savewalterwhite.com


[22 Points] None:

Easy. Use the money to support your daily lifestyle and save every penny of what you earn legitimately. $200k is simple... The IRS isn't going to come ask you why you never buy groceries, pay rent, utility bills... Etc . When you need a large influx of cash go to the casino for a couple thousand at a time.. Wouldn't raise any eyebrows unless you are on someone's radar already


[9 Points] dlayover123:

Well first off, DON'T put the money in the bank. Buy a safe and hold onto the money there. Cash out what you can daily or weekly, whenever comfortable. For the time being, don't put any of your cash in your bank account.


[8 Points] salvagebanana:

I don't know where you are, but I have found that a landscaping company is a good cover. Nearly all cash and split over a few years it shouldn't send up to many red flags.


[7 Points] None:

[deleted]


[6 Points] LargeCockHiker:

give yourself cancer and open a donation page for your cancer


[4 Points] berneraccount:

200k.... Not bad at all.

Is it in cash or BTC?


[5 Points] m4ttjirM:

Better call Saul :)


[4 Points] None:

Easy business to launder money:

Porn (already said)

Landscaping services

Sod/sand/rock distributor

http://www.businessinsider.com/beginners-guide-to-money-laundering-2014-10


[3 Points] Bobrosshappytreesman:

Open up a vacuum repair shop.


[6 Points] lordredvampire:

Just keep the Bitcoin and convert to cash ONLY when you need to.


[4 Points] Zantonse:

Just get a real job and use this vendor money to pay for your expenses while your real job money you save. It's like laundering money with your own self as your cover.

Or you could use it to pay for a college education, I doubt colleges mind taking your money


[4 Points] Bigbadjesuscyclops:

Got a buddy who's good with cameras? Photography would be very easy to launder money through. No way to track what photos were taken, you're pretty much at your own liberty as far as how extensive your records are. All the IRS wants is records of money. No need to keep a record of customers or an archive of all your photos. Run a legitimate photo business with your buddy. Take bitcoin as a payment option. As long as your buddy wouldn't blab "I dont remember taking that many pictures..." if someone by chance came snooping around, theres nothing to worry about.

Send bitcoins to your business as payment for photos that never get taken. Simple.


[4 Points] None:

You should buy some good advice with that money


[3 Points] omgtehvampire:

Cant you just say you were an early adopter of bitcoin and are cashing out now?


[2 Points] dlayover123:

Why can't you spend some time at a couple different casinos, play play play and bam, you're profit is over $200k? Not all at once so you never had to sign anything with your social but you can report that as winnings on your taxes. You'll pay your fair share but if you want it legit, that'd be a good starting point.


[2 Points] ehdhshj232:

This is a two step process

1) Cashing out your bitcoin for USD

2) Laundering the money into the US in your name

Step 1 is easy: Step up an offshore company and an offshore bank, go on btc-e and exchange your btc for a wire transfer to your offshore bank.

You may not even need to do Step 2 dependent on who much money you need and if you have a method to launder all of it in one go, realize that you'll be paying taxes on that $200,000, so at a 40% tax rate, you'll only end up with $120,000. So really unless you need a lot of funds, you can keep your cash in your offshore bank and use an atm card for petty expenses. Of course if some day you want to purchase a car or house, you'll need to launder the cash, but the hardest part of laundering is getting the cash into the bank, which you don't have to deal with anyways.


[2 Points] Awesomenimity:

Get your own cab. Do it properly, all the licences, get a driver, that driver just magically earns you three times what other drivers are earning, he's popular. You can easily sink 200k into that on a yearly basis. No extra work other than the regular paperwork for having a cab and paying salaries for one employee.


[2 Points] thehaga:

Hire a CPA/lawyer to help? You don't have to outright ask them how to launder, you just need to tell them what your situation is and your goal (neither of which are illegal in themselves edit: as in " I have this much money, how can I legally deposit it into x bank account").

p.s. my hunch is international banks is your answer


[2 Points] full_metal_chemist:

This is something I did about a year ago when I had a lot of bitcoin from selling on the DN.

  1. Cash some btc out to cash.

  2. Go to a website that accepts btc for brand new electronics, like newegg.com

  3. Buy brand new electronics, sell for 10-15% less than what you pay on craigslist. Huge flat screen TVs and Apple products sell rather quickly in larger cities.

  4. Find somebody who owns a btc ATM and cash out to them

  5. DIVERSIFY THAT SHIT AND DON'T PUT IT IN A BANK ACCOUNT.

ALSO

  1. Want a new car? Buy an old shitty one for cash and pay somebody to mod the fuck out of it.

  2. Want a house? Find a shitty fixer upper and dump cash into repairs and shit.


[2 Points] Roastbeefdangler:

Start a Kickstarter and donate to yourself?


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] jayden8250:

you could give some to me


[1 Points] overlord710:

Find a rich family member or relative and give them the cash. Someone who maybe makes 250-500k a year..

Let them slowly add the cash to their personal accounts that are legit and have them give you clean cash. They may charge a fee but why complain? Someone like that can make huge withdrawals and purchases without IRS suspecting jack shit.

Very little work, you just need to find a trustworthy family member or VERY close friend who can help.

When it came down to it, I just came clean with a close family member who I know is loaded I said hey I have these BTC I need to convert to cash and they helped me no questions asked for free - I was never a vendor just a very early BTC investor - I bought in when they were still at $60 a piece

How you choose to sell your BTC is up to you, easiest way is to just get on LBC - obviously far away from your other aliases and sell your tumbled coins there either in person for cash or with cash deposits into accounts of persons mentioned above

If you aren't lying - good for you man. Enjoy it, but be responsible. Don't waste it all. Invest 25-50% into your future


[1 Points] None:

Strip club


[1 Points] deceptivelyelevated:

rent small store, sell hotdogs only. cash only, claim massive sales.. pay taxes, ball out


[1 Points] YeOldeShoppe2:

I think e-coin will ship a debit card to just about anyone (that you make up) as long as you're not in the US or North Korea or something like that


[1 Points] Ereeert:

Buy a car wash!


[1 Points] katzphan:

First of all 200,000 is not enough money to even worry about laundering, I could do it for you in no time. Laundering money correctly is pretty complicated and it's something I have read about for years. Nobody that actually knows how to do it would ever just tell you how to do it on Reddit because it is an art. Here is my suggestion: don't listen to anyone on here with their suggestions because the real ways to do it are hard to find. I have my methods but I wouldn't put them on Reddit lol. Properly laundering money is complicated and that is why they charge 10% to do it normally (really good ones charge closer to 15-20%). All these suggestions are honestly retarded but than again 200K is nothing really. If this is something you need to do frequently than I can help you, but do yourself a favor and don't do any of these suggestions. It is a very complicated thing if it was as easy as opening a fucking porn site why the hell would people pay someone 10% to do it. Seriously opening a porn site and laundering your money that way is fucking retarded, trust me there are WAY better ways


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] GroovieonLSD:

Yo yo yo yo yo.... you should have had this set uo from day one of "growth phase" You should have incorporated under a DBA for something that is generally cash based like event sponsors, donut shops, etc... If your DBA sponsor's events then you need to maintain you accounts cash the coins either directly into the Venue's Account. They'll cut you a nice check thats free and clear to deposit into the DBA. Just pay taxes, those fuckers are the first to find you.


[1 Points] DeathThrasher:

Put your money into poker and tell everyone you are a Poker-Pro


[1 Points] earthmoonsun:

Doing something unusual (won in a casino, found it, porn site) will only create curiosity


[1 Points] None:


[1 Points] tokensue:

I applaud you for making $200k in a couple of months (even if its 12 months , that still to be applauded) You are clearly pretty intelligent.. so for money laundering.... sit down and have a think about it... there are dozens of clever ways do this, especially if you want to do it with smaller amounts on a more frequent basis. Working on the basis that you will lose about 10% of your money in the "washing machine and tumble dryer" (like losing the odd sock here and there), so things like a porn site etc are just off the scale stupid (you will lose more than you will make )


[1 Points] monoatomic:

Depends on when you'll be done vending, doesn't it? Do you need this to work through $200-400k eventually or does your solution need to work through a backlog and then keep up with current revenues for years to come? Decide on your "quit" figure.

$200k isn't really that much, but it can be the start of an amazing life if you play your cards right. For starters, you could go to college, not have to work while you go, and graduate with zero debt. Shit, just take some business courses, start a legitimate business, and retire by 40.


[1 Points] GroovieonLSD:

Ok from what I gather. I an assume you connection is not an IRL connect, because you would have run into this same problem trying to cash out on the reup. If your connection is online, you don't have much over head being young. Invest it all into a reup getting some major volume of product. Hold the price constant increasing your profits by possibly a multiple of the cost. Yolo bro.... If your going go hard... I wouldn't save that money, I would save some, but not $200K bro. Stack racks till you hit a milli, then back down. I would say that would be enough for me. You'll still be young, but wiser, and sitting on a million is a good amount to live the rest of your life legit. With real capital and assets that appreciate or depreciate over time. You can the sufficiently make investments into say (a few houses @ $250K/per) and rent out all the rooms on like AirBnB or some shit. Thats super legit.

And spending $1K a week is nothing bro. My sneakers are $1K. When you start fucking with >$10K is when you should be watching your steps. Don't buy anything from anywhere over $10k, they do this fucking paper work that could put you on the map.


[1 Points] CookyDough:

Read some guides on how to set up a VPN. Set up a VPN. Start a site selling VPN services. You could even use other services' networks. Doesn't really matter. Just accept bitcoin. Launder coins right in. Or whatever. Make your prices high. Who cares if you don't get any real customers? You don't want headaches that real customers bring anyway. Who could even say how many customers you have? You don't keep logs!

some domain name ideas:

I wouldn't put a lot of time into thinking up the name.


[1 Points] None:

May I ask how you turned the btc into cash? Localbitcoins? Why not just send in an army of smurfs to deposit small amounts into your bank?


[1 Points] moneymiser69:

Buy a few used cars for about $50K+ and claim on transaction papers you bought them for like 10k, most car sellers don't care if you do this as they just think you're trying to lower the sales tax cost. Then just resell for them for the price you bought them for ($50k+). Now you have a "legitimate" $200k cash


[1 Points] overlord710:

Create a LLC and setup bank accounts around town that are also in most other states. Most LBC sellers use this method, I doubt they're vendors but they sell shitloads of BTC for anon cash nationwide

You can make each deposit appear as some sort of business transaction without telling Wells Fargo hey I'm selling these BTC..


[1 Points] DaDankWank:

Could one start a "GO FUND ME" equivalent that accepts btc and have the page publicly claiming the funds are just going to you for personal use, etc?

I mean, this obviously would get more suspicious with higher frequency donations/larger quantities of money, but would it work for, say, like 50,000$/year?


[1 Points] DaDankWank:

OP, do you mind giving us some back story?

How long have you been vending? Are you vending in the US? Is your acquisition also done via the DNMs or do you have personal connections?

I'm asking because i've been considering trying my hand at it for a hot minute. The local game can only go so far.


[0 Points] None:

[deleted]


[0 Points] DarkKnight_1111:

Start a popular Youtube channel and start gaining views. Those Youtubers are making fucking bank bro


[-1 Points] None:

Just out of curiosity how long were you vending for and what were you selling?


[-3 Points] --agent--:

why go through the effort of creating a shell company and falsifying $200K worth of revenue, when you can just report your illegal income to the irs directly?

you need that 200K invested, so just give uncle sam his cut

if you don't invest your money it's hardly worth shit, as you already know. so just give the taxman his cut. why go the way of al capone? all you have to do is pay your taxes. and you get to take deductions the same way normal businesses do. Personally I think it'd be funny to write off the cost of monotubs, or glassware or whatever asset of production you need for what you're selling