Mysterious Machine Arrived At My House

So. Uh. Throwaway, cause wtf.

This huge fucking machine, that looks like what I guess is a high-end tablet press, arrives at my door one morning at like 6am, with all the shipping info removed except asian stamps all over the box. I reported it to the authorities to avoid any surprise raid or LE interaction. Its been a solid 5 months. No one ever claimed the machine. I've been told I can dispose of it however I wish.

Wtf.

How can I get rid of a fucking like 900lb rotary press? This son of a bitch has been sitting in the middle of my living room since late November. Its never been used, or unboxed even. I know they're worth money, I want this motherfucker gone, immediately.

Any advice?

Edit: you paranoid jabroni's. I can see why you'd think LE. But im not trying.to sell it to any of you. Im trying to dispose of it, legally. It sat at my house for 5 months because no one claimed it at either the post office or police station and both refused to come get it cause of its fucking massive size and I can't find any local businesses who want it. I also smoke mad weed and am hella lazy as well. I was hoping there would be a reseller on the clearnet that you might know of, or some legit source i can pawn it off to. Its an eye sore and bulky as shit.


Comments


[22 Points] OnThat13thOZ:

Nice try, officer.


[11 Points] FilthySnark:

everything is boofable if you try hard enough


[8 Points] TheDrBukkake:

"I want this mother fucker gone, immediately"

Proceeds to wait 5 months to do anything...hmm


[6 Points] y_s_l_:

WOW! It's rare that you see a post that's total and complete bullshit! There's no fucking way that this would ever happen to you!!

Good try whoever's bored today at the Baltimore Field Office, ICE or HSI trying to catch low-hanging fruit today?

You can tell this is LE because they're up posting at 6:30am on a Monday, and there's only 2 paragraphs so no stims are to be blamed.


[5 Points] MitalikaSucks:

Looks like a great piece of avant-garde design. Bro, i would keep - chicks get wet from stuff like that


[4 Points] Triad_trees:

Get to pressin. You could've had 6 months of r & d done by now


[5 Points] JelloCreationist:

I don't think it's illegal to sell it if LE told you to get rid of it however you want. I would google that first tho. Throw it up ebay to the highest bidder if it's not illegal sell. Make the buyer cover the shipping costs or at least 50% of the shipping. Or sell it as scrap metal if it's really that heavy idk. Consider your house address as burned since le has record of you receiving a pill press AND turning yourself in over it.

Sell it. Keep it as modern art. Or just boof it. Just don't order any drugs to your house.


[2 Points] StealthySally:

Post a for sale ad on /r/thexanaxcartel and RIP to your inbox


[3 Points] DecryptedTruth:

Man you are full of shit. Give me your address, I will pick it up tomorrow.


[1 Points] stabBarbie:

Sell it lol


[1 Points] Theeconomist1:

/u/alpraking will know what to do with this bad boy


[1 Points] speedfleek:

Anyone else smell that?