Pulled over by cops during post office sting operation, managed to eat the evidence

True story that happened to me after ordering on Agora few weeks back.

I was expecting a QP to be delivered but instead I got a note saying it was at the post office because it needed a signature and I wasn't at home when they called (fucking bullshit because I am in everyday but was probably blazed as fuck and didn't hear the doorbell). The post office called me and said they had a package waiting for me and I needed to come and collect it before the post office closed or it would be shipped back to the sender and I wouldn't receive it. Anyway this was seeming sketchy. After popping a couple Xanax and smoking 4-5 blunts with my GF the post office called again asking if I was coming so I said fuck it yeah I'll come down. They sounded pretty urgent to give me my QP. Point was I really wanted that dank ass weed so I was prepared to go down pick it up. My GF said she wanted to come so we could hit that shit in the car on the way back so we packed the bong and a couple grams of White Widow in 2-3 baggies.

Anyway about half way down the road I realized probably a bad fuckin idea to have all these bags of weed in the car so I pulled over and we started digging a small pit in the dirt by the side of the road and put the weed in there, but because her and I were fucked we poured it out of the bag straight into the mud so it took some time scraping it all outta there. I found another QP in the trunk (fuckin lol) and we chucked that in the hedge and made on our way to the post office. They called me again on my cell (I gave them number earlier) asking approximately when we were getting there, I said 5 mins away. Car park was basically dead so I didn't see plausible this was a sting and didn't see no black vans so I went inside, she stayed in the car because she was rolling around in the seat mashed as fuck. This was about 5pm so the place shoulda closed but looked like they were keeping it open for me to collect my stuff. I thought it was pretty weird but man after the Xanax I was feeling chill so I just went in. A guy was waiting and opened the door for me and the lady at the counter asked if I was expecting to receive this and I said yeah and she handed me my parcel and I signed the pad. When I got back in the car my GF snatched it and began tearing it open, then cut the top of the heat sealed packet it was in and low and behold, a beautiful ... hypnotizing QP. The aromas are everywhere and GF is just sitting back in bliss.

I hit the gas and start to pull out but fuckin police sirens start erupting from behind the PO building and two fucking black saloon cars roll out blocking the exit to the road. I am sweating like a mother fucker and I grab the QA and start ripping it up, then i'm like to my GF, "you gotta eat this quickly, put your head below the dash and do it fucking quick" so with the mountain dew she swallowed in a few gulps, then I did the rest, scooping the remains into my mouth but the fucking dirt all over my hands and fingers from digging around in the mud all got eaten. Almost belching, I got it down, stems seeds and dirt. She didn't speak but looked at me very worried and I could see tears in her eyes (maybe from difficulty swallowing the dank ass weed-dew cocktail), but I didn't have time to debrief. By this point the cops was all over the car at my door and shouting at me to unlock it, I did and stepped out and was tackled to the ground and cuffed. My GF was also dragged outta the car and she was screaming at them that her slippers were still inside. Had me in fucking hysterics on the ground.

Anyway man to cut a long story short they dropped the charges while I was on bail because of lack of evidence and they apparently lost the toxicology reports. Fucking win. On the day they let me out of the court (directly after being granted bail) I went back to the hedge but the original QP was fucking gone, I wish I had hidden it better but literally it was thrown on the fucking hedge from a moving vehicle. The weed we left in the pit we must have been fucking high as dicks because we didn't even put it in the plastic baggie, just dumped the baggies by the side of the road. It had since rained and the weed was all mixed with the dirt and I didn't see much I could salvage, but got a few grams and brushed most of the mud off. It is basically shake now. The bong ended up getting smashed on the road because we threw it from the window, it was a $45 bong and I'm a bit pissed because we are back to using roll ups.

To cut a long story short we ate the QP between me and my GF by using the mountain drew, cops didn't have sufficient evidence and all charges dropped. I know this sounds some fucking bullshit but it genuinely happened to me mid-January and I been laughing about it ever since so I had to post. Lost out on a HP of weed that day and my bong, but we got some laughs. The police also didn't give me back me lighter. When I called the police station to asked when I could get it back (funny story about that is I accidentally called the emergency number and they threatened to arrest me) they said no record of it existed.

Long story short I basically got fucking jacked man.


Comments


[76 Points] None:

What the fuck kind of meth-addled bullshit is this?


[20 Points] None:

The police also didn't give me back me lighter.

FFS we are living in a police state.


[14 Points] tmtmflwttm:

I'm finding it hard to believe that you both ate 2 ounces of quality bud in the time it takes for them to pull you over and get you out of the car. Not to mention being able to get the package so clean there wasn't any evidence for them to charge you with.

It's not like they weren't working with the post office and didn't know what was in the package.


[12 Points] lamarrotems:

Ordered QP

Post office calls and said I needed to come and collect my QP before they close or they would return to sender.

After popping a couple Xanax and smoking 4-5 blunts the post office called again asking if I was coming so I said fuck it yeah I'll come down. They sounded pretty urgent.

My GF wanted to come so we packed the bong and a couple grams.I found another QP in the trunk.

I realized probably a bad fucking idea to have weed in the car so I pulled over, started digging a small pit and we poured weed straight into the mud.

Car park was basically dead so I didn't see plausible this was a sting and didn't see no black vans so I went inside.They should of been closed but looked like they were keeping it open for me to collect my stuff.

A guy was waiting and opened the door for me and the lady at the counter asked if I was expecting to receive this and I said yeah and she handed me my parcel and I signed the pad.

Got back in the car and began tearing it open.

Start to pull out but fuckin police sirens start erupting from behind the PO building and two fucking black saloon cars roll out blocking the exit to the road

Told my GF, "you gotta eat this quickly!"

Ate QP.

Anyway man to cut a long story short they dropped the charges while I was on bail because of lack of evidence and they apparently lost the toxicology reports.

This is some 4chan type shit here. Either absolutely stupid and pointless or brilliantly absurd. Leaning toward the former.


[8 Points] throwahooawayyfoe:

THE SNOZZBERRIES TASTE LIKE SNOZZBERRIES!!!


[8 Points] None:

Fucking hilarious . So how did eating 2 ounces of weed make you feel?


[4 Points] None:

Of all of the stores I read here that didn't happen, I believe your story didn't happen the most. I don't even believe you have a girlfriend, a bong, a car, a lighter, a bottle of mt dew, know the directions to your local post office, and am debating if you have am a actual functioning brain.

I'm only not removing this baloney because I want to see people's reactions to yet another bored attention whore this week; it seems to be in fashion lately.

Better luck next time! I see you (possibly) are familiar with the word "plausible," having used it almost correctly.

May I suggest that you try to keep that concept in the back of your mind the next time you find yourself bored after a binge and go into story telling mode?


[3 Points] 0__0__0__0__0:

Long story short : Drugs are not for everyone


[3 Points] gibraltarcrackrock:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YWdD206eSv0/hqdefault.jpg


[2 Points] durgsrbad:

Yeah, nah.


[3 Points] shitterplug:

The fuck.


[3 Points] don_crackavelli:

The fact that people are believing this is hilarious.


[2 Points] that-bot:

that


[2 Points] None:

HAHAHAHAHAHA haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhaahahhaahahahahahahah.

I am fucking killing myself with laughter. Brilliant.

hahaahahahahahahahahahahah.


[2 Points] Theeconomist1:

That's a typical Tuesday for me


[2 Points] ACAurelius:

If this story were true, I would actually hope the cops arrest you and send you to jail, so as to make sure you and your girlfriend don't breed.


[2 Points] Hardcorish:

Of all the stories that never happened, this one never happened the most.


[1 Points] Doglover1987:

I hope you get arrested and ass fucked in prison. My God didn't know retards like you existed...


[1 Points] ProKitzel:

All these lunatics driving about the place off their heads fill me with dread.


[1 Points] SpaceCaseBassFace:

I don't know if I believe that you ate that much weed that quickly but I really hope this is real because your life sounds awesome with all the weed and xanax and surprise QP's and getting out of jail.


[1 Points] None:

No way you could eat a QP with cops on you. I couldn't even down a quarter


[1 Points] delta_eight:

This is as fake as it is funny.

10/10


[1 Points] JohnTSchmitz:

Are you serious? They kept your lighter?!

Was it a BIC, or just one of them cheap ones that the spring comes off of and flies across the room?


[1 Points] icunicornz:

I wanna hear more about the explosive diarrhea you had after eating a QP of weed.


[1 Points] Oldwisewoman:

What the fuckin heck? No?


[1 Points] None:

A guy was waiting and opened the door for me and the lady at the counter asked if I was expecting to receive this and I said yeah and she handed me my parcel and I signed the pad.

The lady practically gave you an out and you still took the bait. Great job!

It amazes me that your brand of dumbass is able to breathe.


[1 Points] crenshaw1:

You Better call Saul in the future mate.


[1 Points] MrGangGreen:

The last 2 paragraphs both begin with "To cut a long story short..." A lot of storytelling and not much cutting going on


[1 Points] brnqll:

-smoking 4-5 blunts

-packed a couple of grams for the ride to the post office

i pretty much stopped believing you here


[1 Points] inkhead1:

Whether or not this is real, every time I read a sentence I was like "you fucking idiot that is a million red flags".


[0 Points] None:

That's some gangsta ass shit right there yo. For the future, your biggest mistake was signing the package. Never, ever do that as that makes you the owner of it in writing.


[-4 Points] None:

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