I want a companion so bad, but can't have one because of my lifestyle....

Sometimes when I'm by myself and having a drink with a little bit of blow, I think to myself how lonely I actually am. I have to remind myself that it would be very hard and bad opsec if I allowed a partner into my life right now. Am I the only one going through this? I haven't been in a relationship in over two years. I mean, the loneliness is awful at times, but on the other hand, I'm making great money from the markets and wouldn't want someone in my life possibly compromising it all. It seems like it would be hard to keep somethin' like this on the down low from someone that would be around often around me.

Edit: I'm blown away by all the love, messages, and goodwill that has been brought my way. What a great community people here. Thank you all so much <3

Edit 2: I feel blessed; I honestly do. You guys have brightened everything for me and put so much into prospective. I'm going to take a look at a few dogs today and maybe book my next vacation. You all are the real mvp's <3 I've received some of the oddest messages ever, too. Thanks, y'all ( ͡⌐■ ͜ʖ ͡-■)


Comments


[83 Points] ForLol_Serious:

https://us.fleshlight.com/


[35 Points] Ryan233tiger:

Then change your lifestyle brother. Doesn't matter how much money you have if you're not happy.


[26 Points] None:

It's important to remember how alone you are in this universe. Even in my darkest moments, I can look myself in the mirror and say "nobody belongs anywhere, nobody exists on purpose, I'm born alone, I'll die alone and everybody's gonna die"

makes me feel better.


[12 Points] chef234:

"Bad OpSec" lol dude get you a real girl who ain't gonna snitch and knows how to take the heat i got me one :)

but for real tho my friend just got locked up for 5 years and we think his girl set him up. They cops just managed to find a baggie with his ID and a grinder in the trash.


[12 Points] AutoModerator:

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[8 Points] MitalikaSucks:

Bro, I understand you

<3 <3 <3


[7 Points] None:

www.okcupid.com

Seriously dude, I've hooked up with some cool chicks on there.

As far as how you make your money, you can tell her that you do freelance ______

Over time you might be able to reveal your activities, but if you put your mind to it you can obfuscate that part of your life as much as you want. I've been at it a couple of years and my wife is totally clueless. It helps that she has never been exposed to the real drug "lifestyle" and only smokes weed legally.

It's all about setting boundaries.


[7 Points] None:

[removed]


[4 Points] None:

[deleted]


[5 Points] 420NSWGreat:

Escorts mate, they are one of the few people you can confess your crimes and problems to. They sell themselves for sex but they're nice ladies and girls you will be surprised the insight they can provide.

I factored paying for sex into my business plan as an overhead cost of OPSec when we went commercial. It is realistic. We don't have time to invest in building an emotional relationship and the price of freedom, is not a blow job.

Give it a go, trust me. See a different girl every time, start a check list of races, nationalities and characteristics. There is more to the drug game than money mate, it is about the bling, the fast cars and fucking the untouchable asses at the whim of your wad of cash. Money is funny in a rich mans world, it gives you the power of control. Use it, if you have it.

The game never stops, remember that. Hit your big number then go look for your one and only. Money is what controls the choices of most people, once you are finacially free then you should seek knowledge (go to uni/college) and in time, you will run into a like minded girl and you won't have any issues swooning her with flowers, dinners and gifts.

Stay safe and sane. We walk a dark lonely path of in life.


[4 Points] None:

I kind of know how you feel. I don't deal but I use a lot of drugs and have a strange personality. Nobody would ever guess that I use meth a few times a week - it doesn't affect my functioning or abilities. Yet if I told anyone they'd never talk to me again.

The thing is, would you really want a companion that you can't be yourself around, and whom you can't trust completely? Find someone who accepts what you are. And if you can't (like me), find a way to be happy and alone :)


[4 Points] nopierdete:

Pets are great to tide you over until you meet your mate. Dogs if you don't mind some maintenance, taking them for a walk, etc. Cats for lower maintenance. Or one of each for a cute family.


[3 Points] someguynotsome:

One day you will come to the point where relationship with this exact girl means more than your lifestyle. Hopefully, you will reach your goal amount by then. Good luck!


[3 Points] ft770:

Your happiness is worth it man. You ever think about joining a support group? I am lonely pretty often because I am in a long distance relationship and I just go to NA meetings and the brotherhood keeps me good and I hit the gym after. Takes care of the loneliness until the next day.


[5 Points] None:

LOSE THE EGO OP. TAKE A MICRODOT AND PONDER THAT..

You know, I know, we all know, you could sleep with a woman everynight, different or same, and have companionship. You don't have to meet somebody, move in the next day, and get married the following.

You don't have to say listen, I am a internet drug dealer, on the first date. You have your life, she has hers, within a few months of dating her, you will see what kind of person she is. If you go with some druggie she is probably a skank and has slept around and will roll on you. You get your hands on a real WOMAN, dick her down properly, fall in love and she will PROTECT YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

MY bitch been lieing on police statements since I met her 4 years ago when things ever got hot, LOL!!! Taken obstruction of justice charges for me facing a year, without a question or doubt taking that np.. without my asking or consent..

Walter Whites wife, that woman does exist, eventually it was all too much, and that show is crazy so yeah cmon. You could easily find a woman, keep it hidden and private for months, if you click you click, one day you'll move in together and she'll find out. If she really loves you she wouldn't give a flying fuck, as long as you are not putting her or her child in danger, and I mean you're really not, worst that happens is you end up getting arrested and going away.

It's possible as fuck brother, just don't go down to the local bar bang some drunk whore and a week later on a date be like LOLZ DARKNET THOUSANDS$$ LOLZ lol.

Even without sex drive, and EVEN IF YOU WERE UGLY, not saying you are just saying, there is somebody for you.


[2 Points] Throwawayyyy63638484:

You definitely can. I have had many partners none of which knew of my side business or movements. You need resellers. Move bulk. Remember real gangsters move on silence. Edit: or you can grow a consience and listen to u/Ryan233tiger as he's right if you're not happy why keep doing what you're doing?


[2 Points] dnwhat:

When I met my GF she knew I was dealing drugs, hell we even dealt together for a while. I don't deal often now, but I do deal. She knows when I deal sometimes (she thinks it's more part time than it is). She does not know where the drugs come from.

Are you vending on a market, or are you buying from markets and flipping from home? If you are vending on a market, why not get an office rental with 2 separate rooms. Have an "office space" in one room, and a "storage" room with all of your vending supplies and product.


[2 Points] None:

tell her you do you web design and shit like that, so you sit at home and on the computer lol. I used that excuse for a long time, until i started using :(


[2 Points] None:

Get a dog lol


[1 Points] yehnahnahyeh:

give me your business if you want to quit thnx


[1 Points] opresearch:

yeah the lifes a bitch.


[1 Points] TheBeardedGod:

Shhhh they're listening 👂🏾


[1 Points] showmeurdoobies:

You can have a college degree, and a companion. You really have to decide what's more important. Going to college and making money. It's not as difficult to go to class and "work". Try that first. It's a good idea because I'm assuming your not making enough to quit, and live off it for the remainder of your life. Make what your doing count for the long run. If you keep selling you will eventually get caught.

Then think about having a partner. It'll be easier not to have to lie about what you do. Either quit, or find a down ass bitch. Think about the long game, thinking about right now is stupid if your moving weight. Have an end game.

And have some fun while your doing your thing. Party with some bad bitches man. Go out and get your dick wet! I dunno what your doing, but there are plenty of things to vend that can make fucking a hell of alot of fun. Some people will think that is shallow, or hollow. But that's because they can't get it like that.

Just do what you gotta do. Save that money. If you get a legit career it'll help you out. Retiring early is always a good thing


[1 Points] jlselect318:

BACKPAGE IS YOUR FRIEND


[1 Points] negativeEGOstructure:

As this subreddit is/or should be a group of mostly open minded individuals that are willing to 'agree to disagree' I dare say I may well be condemned for saying this but you can leave me out of this back patting, self belief reinforcing , mass group hug that's taking place and point out the opening post for what it truly is.

What I read in the OP is nothing but a perfect example of absolute petty, egotistical self loathing 'poor me' tirade of visual diarrhea as one will ever read in their lives. With such a negative ego structure in your psyche be aware it's not your chosen means of career or lifestyle that contributes to your overwhelming feeling of loneliness. In reality you could be saving the sick and starving children of Africa doing God's work but due to your what appears to be heavily biased egotistical, petty, self loathing personality traits I'm sure you would be just as lonely as you are now regardless of life choice.

As someone else mentioned, drop the egotistical demigod vision you have of yourself along with 'fear' aspect that's on your mind and drives your thoughts and things may just look a tad brighter than the 'poor' me attitude and thought control your currently choosing to live with.

Do people employed in 'bullshit, propaganda and the art form of whimsical untruth telling via buzzwords and image creating creative writing' call themselves exactly that? No, it's called being employed in 'advertising and marketing'.

Do you not create fiat dollars via the exchange of cryptocurrency? Just as a shop assistant isn't about to lecture anyone on what is the driving forces behind a consumerism market and how that creates what is their livelihood nor need you delve into the deep abyss of why or how your involved as a day trader in the foreign exchange market. Do you share your deepest darkest fantasies that involve Beiber serenading you with everyone you meet within 10minutes or are only the few very close trusted friends in the know about that? Treat the sharing of your vending lifestyle with any possible he, she or heshe partnership in the same fashion. Millions before you have sold drugs and millions after you will sell drugs, your not that special or individual in the grand scheme of things.


[1 Points] hurricanexanax:

dont even trip dawg, money aint gonna break your heart. and you cant go to a jetski dealer and give them your girl in exchange for a jetski. but they will accept money. all in all, money & jetskis > bitches


[1 Points] None:

Shaddap.

Edit: Cringe.


[1 Points] petesoi:

It doesn't have to be a "lifestyle", it will become one only if you make it be.

Many vendors I know (myself included) rent a space to take orders, pack and ship. It gets very easy to hide that stuff to your friends and life partner when you get at that point, just make something up and stick to it.

Telling your girlfriend/wife can be the riskiest way to get caught, you don't HAVE to tell anybody, keep it for yourself and make those big bucks until you can sleep on your stacks.

Get a college degree or learn a trade, find a good job/career and focus on it during the day. Fly under the radar and hustle.

It used to be a "lifestyle" to me until I found solutions to this problem, find your own solutions and you'll meet the right lady for you. Just make sure she never knows you do anything illegal, especially vending on the DNMs...


[1 Points] DruggieKitten:

it helps to start with a partner..


[1 Points] fasterfind:

Buy a second house, get a work location, etc. It's not like dealing drugs makes you POOR. You can lead a double life.

Most people that are dating only see each other about once a week anyway. More than that and a girl freaks the fuck out because they can't handle the idea of intimacy or emotional attachment.


[1 Points] Joskins:

http://www.kathyleenovotny.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/OSR_Suspicious-Mail_kny-905x1280.jpg


[1 Points] None:

i dont know you and i dont want to... but i feel really same when i drop half/full acid alone. They are like a hours of great rush but somehow it drops very low and i feel very lonely and in fact iam very lonely... But that everyhting can be just consequences of my life before this point.

Just stay possitive and everyhing will came to you. (DEA maybe tho) cheers mate.

It wouldn't be smart drag different person to person to this point of your life.


[0 Points] None:

cry me a river, fuckwitt.

u r soft cunt, cunts like you wont survive.

dont worry u have companion soon, getting dick deep up ass while you cry in pillow.


[0 Points] jack19056:

Go to Thailand and get your dick sucked! What are you whining about?


[-3 Points] DextroShade:

If you are making enough, consider getting a mail order brides from Russia or some other place like that. It worked for the President and he has done much more illegal shit than you have.