I'm only asking because I sure have. Before this all I could get was weed and meth (I lived in a town of methlabs) but I never fucked around with the meth because that's bad right? When I found out about the dark markets I instantly had access to anything and I mean anything I wanted. Found my love for ketamine, too bad it's too expensive now. Found my love for beautiful dank from Cali/Colo. Could finally get real mdma at great prices, finally able to try 2c-b, finally able to do GHB. I literally wanted to try every single drug that there was(as long as it isn't too toxic) and I did in a way. It made me realize that with every drug at your fingtertips you're bound to find your DOC.
Oh I sure did find my DOC. Heroin, H, Diesel, Fire. Raw, that sweet sweet china. I just couldn't help my self with the stuff, opiates are fuckin' evil and I mean that. It'll take everything you care about until you only care for it. Of course it happened to me, thought I could be a chipper but not many can stay chipping. I haven't talked to the little brother I LIVE WITH in 2 years. Not one word. Why? Because I'm ashamed of what I become because of opiates. I'm at a point where I'm hoping my next fix kills me. I mean that.
Getting addicted like this is the absolute fucking worst. I have no real life connects to see if I need a quick fix. No, I have to wait for the 2 day priority shipping that has taken a week while in withdrawal. Withdrawal makes me go crazy, I've cut up my arm so bad it looks like a tattoo sleeve. Only because it made me feel a little bit better, because I was feeling something other than the withdrawals. 3 psych ward trips later I still can't do anything about it. For one I live in a state where heroin pretty much exists no where unless you have some really good mexican friends with tar. So now you're chained to two things, the Deep Web and Heroin. Plus we have no methadone or suboxone clinics around. We only have rehab centers where they lock you in a room for days while you detox. Everyone who goes in there comes back out wanting a fix more.
I'm not saying that the Dark Net Markets are bad, they're amazing. I'm just trying to say be careful what you try. Please don't get hooked on anything, especially through these markets. I know dealing with real life dealers is dangerous and everything but I'd say it's better to have someone you can call anytime and get it anytime if you are going to start an addiction. I mean that shit.
Sorry if this is too boring or long for you but eh I'm bored and waiting on the mail.(Plus I'm on 300mg vyvanse hehe) But seriously atleast don't end up like someone like me. Right now I order Fent HCL powder from Canada at some amazing prices. Thing is with Fent, euphoria is gone after the first 3 tries. You just feel okay or if you're lucky you catch a nod. I shoot ONE MILLIGRAM of fentanyl now to feel well. Sometimes I even shoot 2 or 3 milligrams at once to maybe catch a nod. Tolerance builds up so fast with this stuff because you have to do it every hour. Gets your tolerance so high no other opiate does it anymore. I shot 750mg of Cali's gray dope she had a couple months ago and nothing. No rush. Just a small sense of feeling better than you did before. That's sad. That was a 160-170$ shot and I got nothing from it. All thanks to fentanyl. This was just a warning to you opiate addicts reading that you should stay the fuck away from it. Fentanyl makes being an addict 10x worse. Only plus we have is that the withdrawals aren't as long.
So that's a bit of my story, didn't know I'd type so much. Guess I needed to let it out. I welcome anyone else to tell their stories because I feel for each and every one of them.
EDIT: Definitely did not expect this thread to get as popular as it did. I'm obviously not alone here as I can tell now after reading through all the comments. I want to wish good luck to you all and I hope that things will get better for you in the future. Also want to say thank you for all the supportive comments as it does mean a lot to me. I've decided to stear clear of the fentanyl now as I've just ordered around 200mg of Xanax powder to make a PG solution with. Plan to try and get off all opiates with my best friend with the Xanax to help a bit. Also have a good supply of lyrica, gabapentin, kratom, lope, MXE, ambien, and seroquel to fight the worst parts and maybe sleep through a lot of it. Gonna make edibles too because why not? I also have vyvanse to help with cravings after the detox, stimulants have always tamed my opiate cravings a bit. Wish me luck guys...
Hey man I know how you feel, your story is just like mine except I think I caught it just in time. I currently live somewhere where I have no real life hookups for any drug whatsoever so I decided to turn to the darknet. At first I was just ordering weed and benzos on occassion until during a visit to my home town my friends introduced me to roxi's. I instantly fell in love with the whole opiate high and found myself ordering these $30 pills off the darknet......literally throwing hundreds of dollars away for a couple nights of enjoyment.
After that is was inevitable that I soon started looking for cheaper opiates until I finally found my way to H. I promised myself I was just gonna use it for when I was really stressed and couldnt sleep (I have terrible insomnia), but we all know it doesn't work like that. Pretty soon I was ordering grams of dope from the darknet and using throughout the day and night. Thankfully I only ever snorted it and never let myself get ahold of a needle because that is when you really start to spiral.
Fast forward and this constant use had continued for 7 or 8 months with few if any breaks. Just like you when I was forced to wait on a late package, I had to deal with being dopesick. I think it was a combination of wanting the drug so badly and being terrified of the dopesickness that would follow if I didn't get it that kept me on it for that period of time. I am not pretending to be a hardcore, longterm addict because I know people can struggle with this substance for years and years so I am not trying to pretend to be someone that I am not. All I can say is that I saw the pain it caused and money it sucked up and I knew I had to do something before I was in so deep that the H took over. I ordered a couple suboxone off the darknet and used the gear I had to start an intense taper. Over about a week I decreased my dose every day until by the end I was literally taking the tiniest bump in the morning and late at night if I felt terrible.
Then I faced the awful WD's which weren't as bad as I remembered thanks to the taper, but I was able to make it about 2.5 days before I cut the first sub strip in half and used that. The last thing I wanted was to be put on sub for months and then face the WD's from that as well so I rationed the few 8/2 sublingual sub strips I had and used them to make it through the next few days. Right now I am about 6.5 days without anything and while I am still dealing with PAWS, it beats the hell out of organizing my life around a bag of powder. I was lucky, I didn't get too far addicted for too long and I was able to fight my way out before the H dragged me to a place where I would have felt hopeless.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story since you shared yours, I wish you good luck man and believe you can beat this. As long as there is some part of you that wants to fight, then hope is never lost
"I'm at a point where I'm hoping my next fix kills me. I mean that." ---- Don't give up, there is always a way out of your addiction without hoping for death......it may not be super apparent, and it definitely won't be easy, but is anything worth fighting for as hard as life and some happiness. I know you feel alone right now, but you're not. Please let me know if you want to talk more in private, it sounds like we have dealt with a lot of the same problems.