How to handle a controlled delivery.

Mail man hands you package, you sign for it, walk inside throw that bitch on the ground and go back to spanking your meet to Bailey Jay and friends.

"THIS IS THE MOTHER FUCKING POLICE" Loud crash and your door comes flying off the hinges. LE comes swarming in like you're the next Osama Bin Ladden ready to wipe out the mother fucking planet.

LE: Get on the ground now!

You: lay down

LE: Who is (name on package)?!

You: raise your hand

LE: "Did I tell you to move you fucking sludge ball?! I don't think so!!"

You: lowers your hand

LE: "You can tell us who ordered this package of 1 gram of 99% tylenol straight off the brick?"

You:....

LE: Tell us and things will go much smoother for you

You:....

LE: Want to play hardball kid? IF you dont cooperate your life is over. This is 20 years on the shelf easy, 30 if I don't like your attitude.

You:...

LE: Tell us right now or I'll personally see to it that you rot in a cell all alone for the rest of your natural born life.

You:....

LE: Thats it, cuff him!

You:... not resisting

.... moments later at jail.....

LE, different agent: c'mon man, we know everyone makes mistakes. Just tell us what you did so we can all go home. Its not that big of a deal.

You: I want my lawyer

LE: Fuck.

....lawyer approaches....

Lawyer: Whats going on here

You: These cops trynna snatch my crops bruh I aint do it tho

Lawyer: What did you tell them?

You: Ion say shit cuh real shit I just laid there and one called me a sludge ball man hurt my feelns too man that shit hurt cuh

Lawyer: Word.

Lawyer: Goes outside talking with LE

LE: *open door with menacing look "you're free to go"

You: Hah, goteem.


Comments


[291 Points] None:

Grade A shit post. Made me laugh cuh


[96 Points] None:

[deleted]


[82 Points] Hahahahawtf1234:

Am I racist for reading the guilty voice in inner-city black guy voice? This a trap YO. I ain't racist...


[82 Points] MitalikaSucks:

3 things about this post:

  1. Best shitpost of the month
  2. Best post of how to behave in case of CD
  3. This post was written under shitload of drugs
  4. I wanna smoke meth with OP:)))


[13 Points] hopes_ginger_bush:

Just snort 150mg of 3,4 ctmp and take 4 bars. Let things take care of themselves...


[6 Points] Gonadzilla:

I totally read this being told by Frankie McDonald:

https://youtu.be/KG9CB31aOT0


[5 Points] 1percentof1:

all the episodes of First 48 that don't air


[4 Points] gonewildlover111:

What if I don't have a lawyer


[2 Points] DeliChopz:

Thanks for this, had me laughing all the way through reading.


[2 Points] saintjoe303:

Amazing. I actually laughed out loud. Good shit cuh.


[2 Points] None:

Ahh...The sweet smell of meth in the afternoon!


[2 Points] urban_dia:

Bwuauahahhahahahhahaha lol