I've dabbled in ketamine in the past but have never really reached a point I reached last night. In past experiences I would snort a relatively small line or 2 and get strong drunken like effects. Last night however, I aimed for the k-hole experience. I snorted close to 200mgs in one go, with another line laid to the side. The effects came on fairly quickly. It felt like a strong body buzz and was pleasant at first but then I was overcome with horrifying paranoia. I was full of "what if's". Thoughts were racing through my head like: what if my little brother walks in? What if this is really poison? What if I choke on my vomit? What if my house catches fire? What if the feds know I ordered this?..on top of all that, I could barely move, and at moments I seemed to forget I had a job, forget that I had a family, almost forgetting who I was briefly.
My question is, was I just one small bump away from a k-hole? Was I stuck on a thin line between the hole, and thinking semi clearly? If what I experienced was a k-hole, then ketamine must not be for me. This was an extremely terrifying and traumatic experience. I've never felt paranoia like that before.
Honestly, when I hole with K, I lose all ability to give a fuck about the stuff you were thinking about. How could I when they cease to exist in my mind? You float free inside your head.
Doesn't sound like you holed and that's surprising given the dose.