So I received so much love and help from this community when I first asked for some help on kicking my opiate habit (https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMarkets/comments/3a89v2/trying_to_kick_the_habit_need_a_little_help/) and also garnered a lot more insight when i did an update shortly after (https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMarkets/comments/3bbj9q/habit_kick_update/). Its been almost a month since the second update so I thought you guys might care to know how Ive been.
Since then, I've been clean (except for a one-day relapse, but it was a special occasion). I was able to reach my goal of a month with no regular use, and I dont really see any reason to go back now. Thanks to everyone's kind words and recommendations, I was able to use a mix of suboxone, kratom, xanax, and good ol ganja to get through my W/D. After that it was just the mental game and staying away from that aspect of my life. I am happy to say it was quite a smooth success.
I havn't felt clean living for this long in a little over a year, and it feels awesome. Originally, I planned to just stay clean for a month and then jump back into using, but living life clean for the passed 30 days or so hasn't been much of a challenge at all. I dont think I am going to voluntarily put myself back into the cycle with H. Sitting here now, that seems silly, but a month ago, the idea of getting to use after all this time was what motivated me to stay clean to begin with. With a clear head, I'm thinking the right idea would be to continue to abstain for as long as I can, especially since once the summer is over, I am going to be back at school and in an area where dope is much harder for me to get. Having a headstart on sobreity will only serve to make my life easier. In addition to that, from what I am hearing, the dope scene on the DNMs is deteriorating and I dont think there are many vendors with good gear left. If it's reduced to street garbage and scammers only then, who knows, maybe I'll just stay clean forever (yeah, right!). If anyone has had any recent experience with any bomb gear online feel free to let me know!
Anyway, I want to say thank you again for everyone's love and support on my last two posts. I dont really care about upvotes or karma or any of that, I just felt that maybe one or two of you out there would get some comfort knowing your words really did help me. I love this community so much and am so proud to be a part of it. Keep on keeping on and stay safe out there :)
PastaParty
Thinking about kicking forever is WAY too overwhelming....you only have to do it one day at a time...I know that's cliche ...but it works. Keep your head up...your life will turn out infinitely better if you stay off dope.you sound like a young level headed person. Don't let the bitch ruin you.