Please don't fuck with counterfeits. Hear me out, please..

I'm not here to explain my sob story but only inform others of how dangerous it is to buy/possess/make/sell counterfeits. I'm young, not old. I'm not 16. I'm not 30. I'm not 20. I'm not 27. But i'm in my 20's. I am in NO WAY saying I have more knowledge than you, your friend, your mother or your 2 year old lab pup. I don't care what your name is, I only care that you don't end up in federal prison.

Growing up my family was very close friends with a family of cops down the street. Lets call the father, Henry. (ha. his actual name!) Henry was a nice ass fucking guy, really understandable. His son was always in trouble for pot, so a fellow pothead like me, always had gotten out of trouble with the help of him. So me and Henry had a tight relationship, which was great. I was never worried of my car getting searched when him and his wife was always a phone call away.

I was around 17 when I discovered how easy it was to counterfeit bills. I was fucking BALLIN'. I don't give a shit what you say. I was another itslavishbitch. But I was itscounterfeitbitch. I had thousands of dollars worth of counterfeits that I single handily used daily. To buy food, to buy gas, to buy drugs. It was fucking spectacular. I kept all of my counterfeit bills (I only made 10's and 20's. I don't know why. If I could ask my 17 year old self, I would, but, I can't.) underground in a safe, by an old torn down shopping mall. It was truly deserted so I had no worries. I don't have long to type this, so lets hurry this up. I knew my time wouldn't last so I was going to hurry up and break the counterfeit bills I made. Also not going into detail of how me and my friends made them, its pretty easy to (back then). I had about 2k left in counterfeit bills. And when I was breaking a 20 at a gas station, the young ass bitch that JUST started actually checked my bills. NO ONE DID THIS. no one. I was like what the fuck. Back when I did this, truly no one gave a fuck so I wasn't worried, and I should've been smarter..

She told her boss. I wasn't going to run because I knew that I wouldn't have had plausible deniability. ((Why did you run??)) I had to use the bathroom. Yeah. So the cops and some guy with a badge I've never seen (wasn't FBI, I don't know) had arrived. I called Henry and he saved the day. He said I was a little guy who never did nothin wrong. Obviously he really helped me because the guy with the special badge on literally walked out. If i remember correctly, I told them I found the bill on the ground. My friend Greg told me to say that so they would have nothing to base my case on, even though it didn't sound smart to me, it worked.

after this I burned the counters'. I didn't want to risk it. One time of me almost getting caught was enough. I know this sounds like a tale of fairies helping each other get fucked, it wasn't. I kept the real money and got a job, helped me get along for the next year. I got out of buying weed daily to buying weed once a week. Life was boring, I missed it. Still do. But seriously.

TL;dr its not worth it. get a job, sell drugs. hell, sell RC's. but don't be as shitty as RCI. jokes.

also, I don't write well so please excuse me if my thoughts are jumbled. it also doesn't help that i've smoked a lot of wax. if you have any questions ill be up for the next hour.


Comments


[10 Points] anonish9:

Shots fired for rci Pew pew pew pew


[9 Points] samisanonymouss:

It was probably secret service, I think they handle that stuff.


[7 Points] potatohunt:

tl;dr: Don't do it, I almost got in trouble once a long time ago.


[3 Points] SteveLurkell:

Borrrrrriiiiing! No just kidding, but really I'm still waiting on the point.


[5 Points] None:

I'm not 16. I'm not 30. I'm not 20. I'm not 27.

then you have to be futyflurff


[4 Points] PLSSUKDISBISH:

The "they only go after the big fish" mantra does NOT work with counterfeits. Use 'em once and they will BUST your ass. I would never fuck with that shit. They will always be checked by the counter person, and if you use them to buy drugs, expect an uzi up your ass when it's discovered.


[3 Points] green-bean-fiend:

I think the real danger of counterfeit currencies is that if they start to become accepted on the markets then we suddenly have secret service poking around, and i know for a fact that they are like a crack head to a rock when it comes to counterfeiting.

Just one more set of government eyes prying on our beloved drug marketplaces.


[2 Points] Dweezil_In_Bondage:

We should all have a "Henry" on our side until at least the age of 19. Maybe until 25 in my case.


[2 Points] bo64343:

Henry was a nice ass fucking guy

OK...


[1 Points] ssep-:

I liked it ._.


[0 Points] None:

after this I burned the counters'.

i have to side with you on this call. really, what else could you have done?!?!?

willo you pray with me?


[0 Points] usonazty:

drama queen.