I'm creating some "Proud Supporter of the USPS" stickers. But I feel they (post office) are past due for a new mascot.... who can help?!?

Here's what I'm suggesting. We put together an official-unofficial-design-our-new-mascot-contest for the United States Postal Service(s)

Think of the joy or terror we'd create in some randomom shmoes life when they open a huge box of our best efforts and love as scribbled by crayon and magic markers.

Seriouisly, what better for a bunch of like minded-postal enthusiasts to promote the thing they love so much?!?

WHO'S WITH ME!

We need lots of your best, amateurish Post Office mascots designs. And we will need them ALL.DAY.LONG!

My first entry? Patchouli the Priority Package. I imagine she's one of the best, no. THE best flat rate boxes we've ever seen and yes, just happens to smell like dirty hippie oil. You know, to cover up the smell of drugs and stuff. She's sassy and sexy. SEX SELLS STAMPS!

OK. CJ out.

Time to create the greatest mascot this world has ever seen.

EDIT: FORGET THE STICKERS! LET'S CREATE THE NEXT USPS MASCOT! :) ALL ENTRIES WELCOME

Peace,

CJ | /r/cannajuice


Comments


[18 Points] Pelican_Vendor:

You straight up just copied what I am doing with my customers?

Except they are putting my pelican stickers on Usps trucks and employees along with cop cars.


[9 Points] JburnaDNM:

USPS. United States Pusher Service. The largest drug transporter in the world aka your local drug pusher.


[7 Points] Bobrosshappytreesman:

I get it. But I'll just stay in this dark corner.


[8 Points] None:

[deleted]


[2 Points] DextroShade:

Their new mascot should be the guy on the camel from the Silk Road, for maximum lulz.


[4 Points] EZPeeVee:

Great Idea, bring heat to the markets by taunting a government agency.


[5 Points] Wanted_drugs_2day:

As amusing as this is, it is a horrible idea.

Without seizing packages LE will get a general idea of volume of packages coming to their town if you go slapping stickers on public places and can easily discern if their town is all of a sudden fucking flooded with MDMA from someone buying bulk from you and selling locally they will likely be able to guess it's coming by mail and reeeaalllyyy get to looking through the sorting center that handles the area.

Especially if you "vandal" a police car and a USPS truck is federal property I would imagine. Don't fucking poke the bear.

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist"

The more you bring markets and what we do mainstream the more attention from politicians and pressure on LE to do something. Bigger budgets, better gadgets, more manpower, and at worst a drastic change in policies at the post office.

I was hoping Pelican just put on an amusing persona like BBMC but it seems as if he's really that loud and looking for attention, you will find it brother sooner or later. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. I in no way wish any harm to come to you or your operation but you come off as overly cocky and young which is a bad combination in what we do going by past busts.

I hope you reconsider and tone it down a bit brother for your own safety and to keep more eyes off of what we do.


[2 Points] tp911:

"DO NOT SEIZE" logo


[1 Points] ancap47:

Definitely this guy should be the mascot for the post office


[1 Points] PleatherInterior:

What about the Grumman UHMV?


[1 Points] usedpartsgod:

i absolutely love the idea , and anyone who thinks the post office isnt already aware that they are moving serious weight around the country and the world have been in the shadows too long the fact of the matter is , the resources it would take to properly screen all the packages that come into there hands would bankrupt the system , and to what end ? we would just find another way right ? Speedy Gonzales delivering crystal meth cupcakes ?


[1 Points] DrQuarters_:

I think that an Anteater/Alf -looking guy, wearing a postal uniform with the hat and mail bag slung over his shoulder would look great. I'm not an artist. And I don't know how to draw on computers.


[1 Points] None:

Reminds me of a hat pin I want to make for the song "It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes a Train To Cry" featuring a mail train and a skully hanging out the conductors booth.


[1 Points] CoffeConLeche:

5/5 FE'd. Will update.

Still probably my favorite bumper sticker that I'd secretly love to use but never could.


[1 Points] RapperOnDrugs:

How bout a fucking turtle


[1 Points] an_illegal_smile:

Both for their speed of service and our favorite use of it, I nominate Stoner Sloth as the perfect USPS mascot. And the way-outdated "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from their appointed rounds" gets changed to "Dave's not here, man...."


[1 Points] an_illegal_smile:

Maybe I just haven't had enough coffee, but why are so many people not realizing that Canna-Juice's post is a joke? I mean, c'mon, "Patchouli the Priority Mail Package"? He is kidding around and having some fun with the idea, not making a serious suggestion, yeesh. I'm sure Pelican is really getting his customers to put Pelican drug-vendor stickers on mail trucks and cop cars, too.