Got taken in by a fake bust...

I'm in a homeless shelter atm, thanks to the US govt, and the security guys there went into an all out fake drug bust, take everything out of your pockets, hands behind your back, legs apart, etc. They started with me saying I was getting out of the shelter because I met a "very pretty" black, 34, body-like-a-brick-shithouse, tranny, street hustler who said she could hustle Xanax all day long if I had any. Well I had 500mg of powder, which got lost when I got forcibly evicted from my apt. and lost everything (yes, there will be a lawsuit) but I told the street hustler I could get more. Anyway these security guys were asking me how I'd go about using this street hustler to lift myself out of the homeless shelter and I told them about the deep web. Then they said I was under arrest and they had everything on tape, and I was going away for a long time. They said they were undercover cops. I said I could only answer questions with a lawyer present, etc. I wasn't worried, except that this would really fuck up my afternoon. I had nothing to worry about because I had no drugs on me, hadn't sold anything, and was only guilty of thought crime. When they went to slap the handcuffs on me I finally realized they were joking when they actually had no handcuffs. They really played it up. It was actually a good experience for me to go down my checklist, did I say anything other than thought crime...NO, check. I stayed calm and collected while telling them no prosecutor would ever take this case without finding drugs on me or catching me delivering any drugs. It was actually pretty fun, since the homeless shelter is really fucking boring. And here's why I'm in a homeless shelter.

http://textuploader.com/zhg9


Comments


[5 Points] Deafcunt:

So you're homeless because of the termination code? I'm pretty sure McDonald's doesnt do background checks..?


[4 Points] MLP_is_my_OPSEC:

Anyway these security guys were asking me how I'd go about using this street hustler to lift myself out of the homeless shelter and I told them about the deep web.

Why would you say that?


[5 Points] drugs_4_sale:

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[4 Points] ShulginsCat:

Got taken in by a fake bust...

Where were you "taken in" to?

YOUR STORY IS FULL OF HOLES OP!!


[3 Points] IMarriedAVoxPopuli:

troll, idiot, or crazy?

takin' all bets.


[3 Points] None:

[deleted]


[3 Points] None:

Do you take medication? I'm serious.


[2 Points] s4bo20:

"thought crime" is called a conspiracy which is illegal bud.


[2 Points] Bawsyrn:

What is this fuckery


[1 Points] DaMenehune:

HAHA. Oh shit.


[1 Points] Asmithpoker:

I am sure Im not alone here...All I got from your story was you like to fuck trannys.


[1 Points] GeneralStarkk:

This shit is like a always sunny ep.