I used to be a full on heroin addict but recently changed to a chipper. I used twice in the past six months, when my obsession got too paramount. When the obsession hits, my brain convinces me that getting high is the best thing in the world. Everytime I used it wasn't as great as I remembered. I recently moved to a different country and thought I'd celebrate a little. I placed an international order about 9 days ago and ever since all I could think about is when it would land. Things have not been the same since then. Everyday activities are not fun. I have been on this sub obssesively since then. I cannot eat, drink or sleep due to the anticipation of the pack landing: it has put me into a terrible mental state. All I can do is wait for the sweet relief of drugs. The anticipation is murdering my soul. The drugs have stole my happiness even when its not present. With that said I am never going to order again. I am done. Drugs have taken enough toll on me and I've realize that it only brings me pain. To whomever that wants to dabble with opiates I advise you that it will never let you go. Good luck to you all.
Use this self-awareness to better yourself. If you really feel that it's consuming your life or controlling your happiness, take a step back and reevaluate. Best of luck to you, keep your head up.