Thieving Girlfriend? not a good look....

So i have thought that my girl might be taking my stash or lets just say taking things that she should not be. Now this girl is the def of a mooch. I have been dating her for a few months and she, just as myself are fond of drugs. The only difference is that I can support my habbit and she cant. so over the course of the few months some things have come up "lost" i dont want to believe she would steal from me because how much i help her so im not sure if i am just turning the blind eye. SO today i set up my camera and left. sure enough right before i got back (you can hear my car door shut) she pops up and looks over my shit. however she did not look in the container that she knows i keep m shit in. so my first thought with that is that she was just looking for something legit, but as soon as my car door shuts she jumps up and runs into the bathroom. and honestly she is always going to the bathroom but there is nothing in there when she comes out cause i have searched thinking maybe she was getting down in there with something she took from me. I know it is a bit paranoid but My gut tells me something is up. thats why i left the cam going. but i dont have proof and am afraid it will be hard to approach with out it. I said nothing to her after i looked it over. I asked what she had been up to and she lied about being up at all.. said she had been asleep then woke up and went to the bathroom and thats when i came in. I might also add that you can hear her moving around out of frame doing god knows what. i think i am off to buy a small camera so i can get to the bottom of it because if i can prove that she is stealing from me then it could make my next paragraph obsolete.

I pretty much give her what ever she wants to get high with and let her pay me when ever she is able to have money. now she doesnt have a job. she has a guy that sends her money every now and again and she never sees him. I dont know why but he sends her cash like its going out of style. well what has happened is that she gets money from him and it goes strait to me to pay off the fraction of debt that it can created by what i described. Leaving her fucked for everything else that she would need. Making it to where i have to pay for every thing. I like the girl but i feel like i have been slowly manipulated into this fucked up relationship of me supplying her with shit and paying her way in life. She never contributes to anything. I have told her a few times that i cant do this that i cant support her. I am supporting my sick family as it is how am i to take on another person to look after? I will add more to this as i think of it but i have no where to turn and no where to go with this.

Really hoping to get some advise out of this post. never thought till today to ask my fellow redditors for input.


Comments


[11 Points] Theeconomist1:

I only know of two reasons a man would send a woman who is not a relative money. And you didn't mention any kids so that scratches one reason off.


[6 Points] Germanweirdo:

I was like her for a few years. Honestly it's gonna suck, but the best thing that happened to me was that she dumped me. Either she's gonna better herself and you can try again later in life, or you cut out a constant drain on your life.


[8 Points] loveletterreceiver:

you should uload a pic of your GF/exGF so that we can judge if theiving is a good look for her or not


[6 Points] honestlyimeanreally:

Sounds like you're unhappy with the relationship.

Thieving or no thieving, you're not your SO's babysitter.

You deserve better, OP.


[6 Points] ShulginsCat:

she has a guy that sends her money every now and again and she never sees him. I dont know why but he sends her cash like its going out of style

I don't really need to know anything else about this situation.


[7 Points] ErraticWire:

Dude. Get rid of her. I've been in this situation before. You already have more than enough reason to suspect her, and you've caught her in what would appear to be a petty lie. She strikes me as the dangerously manipulative type. You have two options.

Option A - you stay with her. She continues to steal from you. You make excuses, turn a blind eye, perhaps even convince yourself that it's not actually happening. When you confront her with the intention of working through it, she attacks you on a very personal level. This pattern continues until you either get busted or go broke. She leaves you. Her cavalier attitude towards the breakup makes you feel as if she never really cared. You remember this post and kick yourself for not taking our advice.

Option B - you kick her to the curb. She becomes irrationally angry, or gives you a serious guilt trip. Maybe she blames you for some of her shortcomings. She might even try to say that you're the reason she steals from you, citing some bullshit about your personality being too much to deal with sober (blaming the victim). Or you'll get to witness a hail mary, where she'll either be eerily nice to you or strongly imply that she's going to kill herself. Don't worry, she'll probably survive - it isn't in the manipulator's best interest to end their life.

I'm gonna guess from the content of your post that you're the romantic type - not like "oh golly gee darling, let's have a picnic and watch 50 Shades of Grey or Twilight," I mean that you have a need for a romantic connection with someone. That's a good thing, but not in this situation. Chicks like that will rob you of much more than drugs - your dignity, morals, self-confidence, and sanity, to name a few. They prey upon people like you, so you must be vigilant and tactful if you want to avoid being yet another victim.

EDIT: forgot the most important part. Don't forget that YOU FUCKING MATTER bro. Your feelings, interests, opinions, all of that shit matters. Regardless of what you decide to do, keep your head about you. You're a human being, the fact that you and I even exist in the wildly unpredictable chaos that is our universe is amazing. Don't forget that.


[3 Points] sobulbous:

It sounds like you want to get rid of her whether she is stealing or not. The only difference is that the stealing would give you a solid reason to end it.

For you to even ask for advice when you already know what you want must mean she is great in the sack. You can never let those become your main course, they are side dishes for a reason.

Sounds like she is already someone else's side dish.


[2 Points] s7iu:

That really sucks, man... it hurts being betrayed by someone you love. I was recently in a very similar situation, and it finally came to a head when I found out she was cheating on me & addicted to meth... I hope you find out that it wasn't really her, but the whole camera thing is pretty incriminating.

I would set up the camera again, or multiple cameras, and leave bait for her, maybe multiple times if she doesn't go for it at first. Like weigh out your stash beforehand and then again when you get back. If something is missing you should really just get rid of her. It will be hard but in the long run you will be much happier.


[2 Points] DaMenehune:

You leave this bitch alone in your place?


[2 Points] noonehear:

Not sure what your into but if it's pills just replace with a look alike and find a new stash spot.

Also a safe bolted or screwed into the floor should keep her out of your stash.


[1 Points] rebel101150:

A good alarm clock cam that isn't obvious will put tor mind to ease either way


[1 Points] ukthrowdataway:

you need to ask yourself: is being with this girl worth the paranoia and financial strain? if yes is not the immediate answer that comes to mind, you need to drop that bitch.


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[-1 Points] stc101:

Man you're both losers, get your shit together.


[-3 Points] Fubarro205:

Take the red pill.