So, I did something really stupid.

Basically, I called usps to ask about my package. I was talking to the lady about my tracking, and I asked how would I know if my package got seized. Stupid. I know. Please don't rub it in. Just tell me what will happen/If anything because I'm worried. I made up a decent story about how it had money in it, from my friend in Seattle, and that last time I was sent money I never got it. In the package is just like 2 g of some cannabis concentrate. She was like "why would the package get seized, what's the contents?" And I told her it was money with that story. Will my package get flagged for inspection?

Edit 1: I called back, and asked if there was anything on my package out of the ordinary, and a different lady said no. And you guys are so rude. I made a mistake, I'm human. Woah.

Edit 2: Thanks everyone for your kind words. I will give another update tomorrow on what happens. If someone could give me some actual kind words, even though what I did was real stupid, that'd be great. Lot of negativity. I know I was stupid. I know. I know. I know.

UPDATE: Everything went well, got my package. All the doubters can SUCK IT


Comments


[356 Points] Slim_Charles:

I don't think you have enough sense to use DNMs. Honestly, maybe you should just lay off the drugs all together.


[189 Points] f_leaver:

You not only aroused suspicion, you gave a postal employee a very good personal reason to open your package and see if they can find any money in it.


[83 Points] itwasabaddream:

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I seriously doubt they get very many calls along the lines of "Are you gonna take my package?" considering 99.99% of all mail is legit and has no reason to be seized. IMO your question definitely sticks out as being shady.

BUT THEN YOU CALLED BACK to ask "Is there anything about my package in particular that looks shady to you guys?"

LMFAO WUT


[72 Points] Collegestu14:

What in the actual fuck? Smfh there's nothing wrong with smoking tree but sounds like u need a t-break to clear ur head I mean come on


[70 Points] honestlyimeanreally:

You silly goose. You're not allowed to send money in the mail and I guarantee you have, at the very least, aroused suspicion with that employee.

You'll still be fine in all likelihood but I mean... Jesus


[55 Points] cnile_:

Edit: I called back, and asked if there was anything on my package out of the ordinary, and a different lady said no. And you guys are so rude. I made a mistake, I'm human. Woah.

Jesus fucking Christ kid, I thought you couldn't get any dumber. The first call was a monumentally stupid fuckup way too glaring to just attribute to being human. Humans make mistakes, yes, but I think even a kindergartner could be trusted to act more tactfully and wisely than that.

What's truly damning though, is that fact that you made a huge fuckup, acknowledged it was a fuckup, got berated for your fuckup... And then immediately decided to make the same mistake again.

No, you are not just human. You are an unconscionably dumb yokel who's ruining this for everyone else. You should never go on the DNMs again with that total lack of sense, and in fact you might be in need of some kind of caretaker.


[44 Points] Pabbycakes:

It's people like you who ruin it for everyone.


[42 Points] AutoModerator:

There's an important phrase that we use here, and think it's time that you all learned it. Act as if. You understand what that means? Act as if you are the fucking President of this firm. Act as if you got a 9" cock. Okay? Act as if.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.


[35 Points] None:

u/RIP_Meth_9000, I got this!

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

You'll be fine though, chill. Just remember next time, don't forget not to snitch on yourself. DO NOT pick it up.

I repeat DO NOT PICK IT UP!!!!!


[30 Points] None:

"Will my package get flagged for inspection?"

Listen man, ima be real with you.

Depends on the female who picked up the phone.

If she was serious about her job, and or a manager, there is a VERY good chance someone knows about what you said, and even more so of a chance its flagged.

NOW, You get someone whos kidanot caring about the job, laid back, very forgetful, etc, nothing /MAY/ of happened, as we know PEOPLE TALK, people talk ALOT. /hopefully/ no one said anything and they just simply, forgot. I dont think right after your call she stood up and fucking told someone.

If she wanted to snitch or bring concern, i mpretty sure it would of beeen after a while, and by then she /likely/ forgot the tracking number.

NOw, its 2 grams of cannabis concentrates, whats likely gonna happen is you getting a letter in the mail, summing up "We know what you did, and we're watching you now :) -USPS", they may ban your address, or eh if they really wanted to make a big of a deal (not likely) they'd get cops involved.

BUT, you my want to find a drop for now on, if your pack gets seized its a good bet alot, if not all your mail will be flagged.

Stay safe man


[22 Points] None:

Stop doing drugs, stop spending so much time online or in mums basement, get a few books from the library and go read in a park or a coffee shop.

Start meditating, eat right, sleep well and learn to chill the fuck out. You sound like your own worst enemy.


[19 Points] None:

[removed]


[19 Points] xanax_xombie:

You should have asked if it is being detained, or if it is free to leave.


[16 Points] whatisopsec:

It is important for you to understand. When people are saying you are an idiot and you are not cut out for this they are not being rude. Stupid criminals often lack the intelligence to recognize their own stupidity. People here are only trying to protect you. Do not try this shit again.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/the-anosognosics-dilemma-1/

As Dunning read through the article, a thought washed over him, an epiphany. If Wheeler was too stupid to be a bank robber, perhaps he was also too stupid to know that he was too stupid to be a bank robber — that is, his stupidity protected him from an awareness of his own stupidity.


[16 Points] ItsShatterDay:

god this is why I don't offer single grams...


[16 Points] Theblowgod:

God im just smoking a cig enjoying a tab of lucy, this beautiful day, and your awesome fucking thread


[11 Points] tachyonflux:

Basically, I called usps to ask about my package.

Oh boy...

I made up a decent story about how it had money in it, from my friend in Seattle, and that last time I was sent money I never got it.

Good God. You realize they don't care what's in a package... UNTIL someone starts acting suspicious?

In the package is just like 2 g of some cannabis concentrate.

While not the worst according to the law, still a felony in a lot of places.

She was like "why would the package get seized, what's the contents?" And I told her it was money with that story.

RIP OP.

Will my package get flagged for inspection?

YOU flagged your own package for inspection.

Ay yi yi. Just move to Oregon or Washington, because you clearly lack the mindset to operate in DNM.


[13 Points] RIP_Meth_9000:

Look, if I were you, I would talk to a lawyer. If you are underage & live with mom & dad, fess up & deal with it. Do not get your parents door kicked in!!!

Now I am going to give you the best info I have at my friend!!!! I first need you to answer the questions in the box below.

1. What type of computer do you use to access the markets??? 

2.  Can you install the OS????

Here are the links you need to look over!!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/3urb10/how_drug_dealers_get_caught_as_told_by_a_police/

Here is a free space scrub you need to use at least once a week, I use this one!!!!

https://www.bleachbit.org/

Here is a whole disc encryption you & everyone should have on one's laptop or computer!!!! They can not force you to give them your password. This program will turn the device it is installed on a paper weight if the correct password is not entered!!!!!!

https://veracrypt.codeplex.com/

This is more than enough info for now....any questions, PM me :-)


[10 Points] LordDongler:

Why would you ever call in about a package you may later need to deny ownership of


[10 Points] TotesMessenger:

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)


[7 Points] Hi_Im_New_Here___:

You seem to have so much more innocence (the type caused by naivety, not the legal term - you no longer have the legal term one) than the typical DNM user. Even more than the typical high school sophomore DNM user who is just pushing buttons. It is really really sad to think of this innocence being taken from you behind bars somewhere.

Did you really post this, read all the replies that were so "rude" and then decide to double down with an additional phone call? ELI5 me on your thought process here, and on what made this seem like a wise decision.

I shudder to think of what you might say when faced with questioning from manipulative, lying, and deceitful officers/investigators.

You seem like the poster child (or better yet, meme) for those who fall hook, line, and sinker to the common "tell us everything and we will make sure the judge takes it easy on you" lie.

As others have said, this game ain't for you.


[6 Points] forwhombagels:

You done goofed. 100% seized now


[5 Points] DownisDope:

You already mentioned how stupid that was so I won't tell you it was stupid or that you're stupid for doing it. What possessed you to do that? Was there a message when you checked tracking? Wow just wow!

Stay safe but I wouldn't expect that pact now.


[6 Points] GNAR-TheBarGoblin:

Keep calm and fap. Every little thing is gonna be alright ;)


[3 Points] None:

[deleted]


[6 Points] AdamOnDemand:

You're an idiot. But in the grand scheme of things, imagine you were the person you spoke to (Don't imagine too hard, I don't want you to have an existential crisis you fucking manchild).

At most, they would have gone home after work and if someone asked about their day, they'd answer with "This fucking weirdo calls me up, while I'm tryna read my buzz feed articles, yknow how I love my buzz feed, and starts asking me all these questions like I'm the king of post."

That's the severity of your situation, minimal. No one gives a fuck enough to actually go out of their way.


[6 Points] Fart_McFart_Fart:

The only way you're not going to be fucked is if the lady decides to be cool. What in the ever loving fuck were you thinking? Jesus.

Update us with what happens. If we don't hear from you, I think we'll be able to guess what the outcome was.


[5 Points] Nano-Bunny:

I know you are pretty butt hurt and at this point anything negative I say is just adding more to the pile.

But this is about the dumbest thing I've read someone do on this sub that I can remember. It was so dumb and so bad that I actually logged into my DNM account after weeks of lurking without posting just to comment on how dumb this is.

Wow... Just... Wow... slow clap

Edit:

Holy shit guys... this kid is 15...

https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/33y3zq/advice_anyone_have_job_ideas_for_a_15_year_old/?st=itig5vk7&sh=7d208851

Mom and dad getting their door kicked and their house flipped for sure.


[5 Points] Queuety:

RemindMe! 2 weeks "did OP get his money?"


[4 Points] Ketsa:

Go buy some lube.


[4 Points] drugsnboobs:

And you guys are so rude. I made a mistake, I'm human. Woah.

Bruh that's beyond "I made a mistake I'm human." Also you asked if your package was gonna get flagged. You're headed to court.

In the package is just like 2 g of some cannabis concentrate.

Yeah cool maybe you'll get probation or a fine if you're lucky. But you'll probably be in prison for using the mail to buy drugs.

Will my package get flagged for inspection?

No fucking shit.


[4 Points] batosaiman6:

This has got to be the most retarded shit i have heard in a long time. Its weed, not crack, or H. You need to take a break if you cant wait. Wow. I have to show this to everyone i know, this should be saved as an example of the absolute opposite of what you want to do. Bahahhahahahahah, good luck buddy, lmao


[4 Points] candy_flipping_:

2 grams of wax?! Who gives a shit. This thread is a fun read though.


[5 Points] fuck_reality:

....... really?....


[3 Points] Tuffy121:

You're allowed to mail money if its under 10k


[3 Points] LsdTripping:

Clean your house. Get rid of all drugs and drug related items (scales, baggys, bongs).


[3 Points] eviktion:

Fess up to it man or theyll raid your house and arrest your parents and you'll be taken away and put into foster care until you're 18, that's when they'll arrest you and put you in prison. If you tell the cops and the post office what you did they'll only give you a ticket. The second you made that phone call you locked yourself into one or the other. Good luck man, remember, you have to tell mom and dad first because they can get you a lawyer. No bullshit man, I promise you.


[2 Points] Barztomarz:

Rip op


[2 Points] cruyff8:

r/TIFU?


[2 Points] dragon_fiesta:

People sell weed via Instagram with PayPal for payment, your dumb but there are dumber out there. Try to relax


[2 Points] Bigbananas956:

....Jesus you called back? And then asked if there was anything out of the ordinary on your package? Why!??!


[1 Points] Goypride:

This is brilliant.


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] Lucid_Enemy:

Wow everyone in here needs to calm down... No this did not flag his package just maybe left a weird note under his name at the call center.

After every call a call center gets the call center employee "dispositions" the call in his case it would say something like" jake_jpg was asking about a possible seized package with money in it and about the where about his package was".

That's probably the most that happened now when someone looks what he's called about they might look at you more suspiciously maybe if they checked your package and look up your name they will be way my suspicious


[1 Points] wizardswrath00:

You're a fucking idiot. Lay off the pipe.


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] Theeconomist1:

Probably not. But we have no way of knowing. But yeah, don't do that again.


[1 Points] dreamc0llapse:

jesus at least some of you are actually human and have made a mistake. he panicked and was asking for help AND he knew he made a stupid mistake, give the guy a break. luckily none of us EVER make mistakes or ask questions...

i don't have any advice other than it seems pretty unlikely that anything bad will happen - but definitely don't go pick it up. good luck to you.


[1 Points] DoanaldTrump:

Not to smart but you should be good buddy dont dtress over it , if you need any help ask me


[1 Points] rootfiend:

please keep us posted


[1 Points] Log_in_Password:

This guy is going to snitch for sure.


[1 Points] elloman13:

I'm sorry but you might be retarded


[1 Points] didsomebodysaymyname:

That was stupid, but I'm sorry so many people here is giving you so much shit instead of advice. Everyone including the people shitting on you makes mistakes, you just did it in a dangerous way. Speaking for the other half, I hope you don't get arrested, maybe don't pick up the package? (not the best person to ask for advice on this though...) Stay safe and good luck.


[1 Points] conspiracy_thug:

https://youtu.be/oBzvMLW0ii4


[1 Points] fun4dayz:

This kid is trolling everyone. I hope so anyway. Geez what the actual fuck.


[1 Points] BGFlyingToaster:

Sounds like you're in the clear. Now you can say that you learned that lesson the easy way. :-)

Btw ... Don't sweat s some people throwing this back in your face. You were very up front about the fact that you made a mistake. We all do. Best wishes, man.


[1 Points] shitterplug:

Flagged. They'll look at it.


[1 Points] Lucyintehsky:

This 15 year old prolly also ordered to his parrents house.


[1 Points] None:

Next time use SWIM and you will be safe.

"SWIM ordered package 38838382726373. Has it been seized?"


[1 Points] coffeencreme:

Sorry but I have to say yip. Yip you done fucked up.


[1 Points] SpartansATTACK:

Why hasn't this troll post been deleted?


[1 Points] exyccc:

How fucking stupid are you?


[1 Points] EatSheets:

Lol, rip in peace


[1 Points] AutoModerator:

There's an important phrase that we use here, and think it's time that you all learned it. Act as if. You understand what that means? Act as if you are the fucking President of this firm. Act as if you got a 9" cock. Okay? Act as if.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.


[0 Points] BakedPastaParty:

listen man, dont take the flak from all the users too personally, weve ALL made some stupid fucking decisions in our life. you live and you learn, if i were you id still clean house and make sure my darknet machine isnt around or is unaccessible. i dont think you have anything to worry about, but especially now, better safe than sorry. and use this moment to maybe read jolly rogers guide or something similar that really delves into opsec. you dont wanna be the low hanging fruit


[0 Points] Jake_jpg:

LMAOO TRUE THO


[-11 Points] Jake_jpg:

Do not pick it up from the post office ? Or like at all? I still want to get my shit lmao, they probably not going to do a controlled delivery right? As long as they don't ask me to sign ?