How long will weed stay in urine for someone who hasn't smoked in 5 years?Please help I don't want to end up back on addicting opiates.

So I haven't smoked weed in over 5 years actually prolly more like 8 years. Well 2 weeks ago I took 2 hits from a bowl of some loud. I bought 10 50ng/ml weed drug test and 10 20ng/ml "the most sensitive weed test. After 2 weeks I passed both but then I took 2 hits 2 days in a row. I know I pushed it but I have severe chronic pain and the strain I found actually helps. I'm currently at a methadone clinic and am tapering myself off this Satan drug (BY CHOICE) but I'm lowering on a slow taper and if I fail they could kick me out of program which would be bad. So please I need all the feedback I can get. By the way the 2 weeks I was clean I was drinking LOTS of tea and just eating high protein bars for breakfast, lunch and usually dinner. Please give me some support people. I don't want to end up back on addicting opiate's.


Comments


[23 Points] infr4r3d:

You don’t deserve any hate.

Have you tried drinking Kava(root) tea? There are many places online to order from if you just google it.

It’s popular and similar to Kratom although seemingly stronger and helps with pain and anxiety.

It might be worth a shot, if it works then you won’t piss dirty and you won’t get kicked out.

Do NOT trip, stay straight and narrow. It’s very painful everyone knows but you need to keep yourself busy as well. Don’t allow your mind to get bored or you will wander to past highs/euphoria and/or pain.

Good luck, wish there was a simple answer.


[12 Points] C_Lana_Zepamo:

Alright bro. You're at a methadone clinic, I'm gonna teach you how what I did to use any drug I wanted and still come put positive for methadone and nothing else.

Also, your clinic cares if you come up positive for weed? Also wtf kind of clinic kicks you out on one fail? Especially weed? Maybe different were I live, but you can come up positive for everything, they just will treat you like shit, baby you, but you'll still be able to go.

For proper immersion, please imagine my voice is reading this to you, and it sounds like the narrator from this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pay_BLPpJ4

The trick:

Okay, so you passed your drug test, and want to get high. NO. STOP. Don't grab that bong yet, Timmy!

But what a killjoy! Jimmy came by with 3 marijuanas and is really to trip, but oh not, little Timmy get's drug tested once a month, by doctors who are clearly communist sympathizers.

You see you've been taking only Methadone, and thus your urine will come up positive for it and nothing else.

What you got brewing inside you is the golden ticket, golden indeed!

Now I know what you're going to ask me next, "How do I pee clean and get stoned?!"

The answer: You can't stupid.

But don't worry Jimmy, no one is stupid in the Air Force, just uneducated! See that empty bottle of water? Go ahead and pull out the old worm, and drain that lizard.

Don't worry Timmy, we won't look..... [whismical music plays as the scene changes to Timmy's soaking pants wet and him holding a bottle.]

Quick Timmy! Put it somewhere safe!

Not not there dummy, in the freezer, we're gonna want to preserve this specimen.

"Awwww gee what do I do not timmy?"

Timmy just shut the fuck up and listen, ahem.

You see Timmy, when you freeze it, you freeze all the compounds without worry of degredation!

Now you got unlimited clean urine I'll teach how to use it to stop those damn commies from testing your pee for their Soviet needs.

NO TIMMY DON'T PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE! It's commonly believed that this may invalidate the test and make you dirty. Instead, leave it in the bottle, and put in a boiling pot of water. Now find one of those methadone bottles, that I KNOW YOU have somewhere laying around. Just throw a little pee in there, close it and off you go!

If you thawed it out right before leaving to the clinic, keep your heat on in the car and leave it by the vents on the drive. Or get a hand warmer to keep the bottle warm (if your commies test with temperature).

Old Seargent here has never had one dirty UA at the commie clinic for over 4 years (I no longer go now, got cleaned).

TLDR: WTF I WROTE THIS FOR YOU TO SKIP IT ALL AND JUST READ THIS, GO READ IT, IT'S A WORK OF ART.

but really, freeze your clean pee if your at the methadone clinic (make sure it comes up positive for methadone metabolite). Thaw it out in hot water, keep temperature reasonable to the location, dump in pee cup. Get take homes.

If you're using H on top of methadone, none of my business, but fucked up stupid to punish methadone users for using weed. My state is illegal and the clinics don't care, are you in Arizona or something horrible, the law sounds horrible for you as a methadone user.

a message brought to you by the Department of Pro-American Activities, EST. 1953, Sri Lanka.

Don't give Ivan your urine! Save it for a sexy Honduran!


[3 Points] THE6THSENSE:

you should try kratom


[1 Points] Torbes1999:

Alot if it depends on how much fat your body has. If your a skinny person, it's out faster bc that's where thc binds to. Being on Methadone also slows your metabolism. If it was really two hits, I would think you will be fine in two weeks. In the meantime, as long as you workout, burn your fatcells in your body that have the THC in them, then replace the body with new fat cells by eating fattening foods- I would suggest to do this a few days before you take the drug test. It's one way to look at it. I smoked dabs all night, probably 5 hits, they wasn't little, I was smoked out. Two weeks later I tested positive, but I never tried to do anything about it. It was too late to inquire and test out what I told you. I was told this after Drinking plenty if water before helps, but my clinic with take another step if your urine is diluted if someone drinks too much water or liquids. Just make sure your urine isn't really dark yellow, but it has to be some type of yellow, I've pissed clear water and it's been an issue, but I work in a factory 3rd shift so now I have to watch how much fluids I drink because I don't sleep all night and I don't have a concentration like someone sleeping before a test,


[1 Points] Deezy80:

If you were clean, then smoked two days in a row, you'll be clean again in a week. Chill


[1 Points] mommykickedme:

My junkie ass has beat so many drug tests before i got my shit together.

The day of your test just drink water till you cant drink anymore. Honestly go untill you have a bad headache then eat some salt and keep going.

When you walk in you wanna piss straight clear.

If you give it a week and do this you will pass 100%. If you have some b vitamins it can make the pee still look yellow.


[1 Points] throwawayjoerogan:

probably a month


[1 Points] sarcasticsniper:

Go to the chemist and get some Ural. It’s for urinary tract infections and strips your bladder so drugs won’t show up


[0 Points] artfu1:

U can buy clean urine on clearnet


[0 Points] zombilives:

1 month the fact you havnt smoke for years wont means anything pal


[0 Points] lordfarquar420:

Before you take the test drink a couple red bulls


[-2 Points] Yourconscious69:

Alot of variables come into play. One of the biggest is your weight. Thc sticks to fat. Eat minimal fat and salt. If you have a high metabolism then ive seen people smoke and pass in a week. While others who are even slightly overweight might smoke 1 bowl and fail for over a month.

Edit: Good for you btw on choosing to get off methadone. I believe suboxone and Methadone are worse than doing dope itself except the fact that insurance pays for it so you wont have to go without. It gives you something to crave and be addicted to except it doesnt get you high and has worse withdrawals. Like... wtf