The time I flushed my stash

The following describes a comical encounter with a loud knocker and me flushing my stash because I'm a paranoid person.

A few weeks ago I was home browsing the DNM placing an order for some MDMA to restock my personal supply. After ordering I always get anxious which then turns into a paranoid state of me running through my checklist of tasks to make sure I did everything correctly. I confirm with my paranoid state that I'm good to go so I can relax.

It's a couple days after ordering and I'm really starting to get anxious - my package wtf where is it?!? I know, it's been two days need so I need to chill when I hear BANG BANG BANG at my door. My heart jumps up to my throat and starts pounding so hard I'm confident my neighbor can hear the thuds. I sit there in silence and then more bangs come from the door. I think to myself "They know I'm home." I get up and peek through the peekhole and I see white male, white shirt, black hat facing down. My immediate thought is CD. "FUCK, ok I got this. Just open the door and deny everything. EVERYTHING. But first let's flush everything I have." I rush to my left over stash and without second guessing I flush about half a gram.

I race back to the door and peek once again. No one is there. I'm puzzled and think they're getting a dog or something. So I half open the door and stick my head out to see the guy at my neighbors door too. I ask him "Were you just knocking on my door?" The guy turns around and I can see it's a solicitor. My heart settles and I become flushed with anger. "I inform the gentlemen that he has an alarming knock" and that he should "try some alternating patterns." He then attempts to sell me a discounted cable package which all I could think of is "I just flushed half a gram and this fucker has the nerve to try to sell me cable for a dollar a month."

Two days later my new package arrives :)


Comments


[57 Points] iLoveDNM:

You told him he had an alarming knock? Not sure why, but I find that hilarious.


[45 Points] None:

PLOT TWIST: half a gram of LSD


[19 Points] operativac:

"stash"


[16 Points] AMomentOfScience:

Oh no, you flushed $30 down the drain.


[18 Points] None:

My story- I had ordered 1000 tabs of 25c back when righteous used to sell it. It took a few days to arrive of course, but when it arrived I immediately popped a tab and started texting people that were looking to buy. I was on house arrest at the time, so I told one of my buddy's that he had to come to me to get the tabs. I made the huge mistake of selling to him in broad daylight OUTSIDE of my house. (I wasn't thinking clearly because at this point I was tripping balls.) Well sure enough about 45 minutes later I noticed a mysterious car sitting outside my house with there headlights on since it was starting to get dark. In my head I knew it was an undercover, but it just sat there for around 30 minutes before it finally pulled out of my view. 10 minutes later I hear a knock at the door so, I rush to my stash of around 980 tabs and immediately flush them all then go to the door and guess what? THE COP IS FUCKING GONE AND THEY DON'T COME BACK.


[11 Points] DYSFUNKTIONAL:

did you have to flush once or twice?


[8 Points] shoelace120:

The real question is...how's the cable service working out?


[9 Points] cactuzx:

You should have swallowed it man. Waste not want not


[6 Points] 1ReviewReviewer1:

I rush to my left over stash and without second guessing I flush about half a gram.

It was a non stop adrenaline thrill ride up until that moment. Way to just destroy my expectations almost as quick as they began. :)


[8 Points] concernedad420:

You thought I was just a cable guy didn't you ;)


[6 Points] None:

I rush to my left over stash and without second guessing I flush about half a gram.

0 risk = 0 suspense lol


[3 Points] Deafcunt:

A dollar a month?!


[3 Points] durgsrbad:

There was an Irish kid here a few months back who saw a blue car drive past his longeroom window, hit the panic button and flushed a half zip of weed.

Funny thing was, he didn't see the humourous side of things and proceeded to argue it was damn fine opsec and we should follow his lead.

So while most of us will shake our head at three hits of molly hitting the sewerage, know you are still not in the same league as the true paranoid delusional fuckwits.

Protip for the future: if you have a half gram stash, think more on the consequences of being caught, not actually being caught. I'm being serious here - what do you think a law enforcement agency will do with you? If you've filled an old hot water service with bricks of cola, I'd suggest you think long and hard on those consequences. If you have two hits of x in a sock drawer, well....


[2 Points] Theeconomist1:

LOL, you sound like me. Anytime I have orders out I get super alert and ultra paranoid. Luckily I'm not home often so I don't get startled by things that knock on my door during the day. But everything sets me off, a car I don't recognize, utility workers, etc. I'm even hearing weird clicking noises on my phone so of course I'm paranoid that I'm being tapped.

I remember one Saturday I was out in the front yard and a USPS truck hauls ass, pulls up quickly up my driveway and jumps out with a package and of course thinking, FUCK! Just a random delivery - I guess this is when I realized that USPS will sometimes make several deliveries to your house b/c this wasn't my usual mailman and definitely not the usual time and hadn't gotten the normal mail yet.


[2 Points] mxeinthetoiletnigga:

I don't use the markets, but, one time I had a stash of 10g clearnet mxe.

Had been through a gram or two already so there was about 8g left. I was binging real hard one weekend and got the bubbleguts so bad, I was so high on mxe that I felt like I had to shit.

I sat there trying to shit and ended up nearly prolapsing my anus, I developed enormous hemorrhoids. I was so high and paranoid that I thought the mxe gave me hemorrhoids and not sitting there trying to shit. Flushed the entire stash of mxe.


[1 Points] ScorchedTerran:

I think there should be a law governing the decibels of of any door knock. I always get nervous when someone BANGS on my door, because the only time it is used in my experience is when the Oinkers are there.

1/2 g of Fent hcl= +/- 500$ 1/2 g Good H = 150/200$

I don't think it was mentioned and I am not covering all the bases, but, some product is not frivolous at that measurement.


[1 Points] SacredGeometry25:

Normally I would say that sucks but at this state of mind all im think is "noice"


[1 Points] thehaga:

Had something similar happen when I didn't show up for a warrant (it was a 50 dollar ticket I didn't take seriously). Freaked the fuck out and didn't even open the door. Later found out it was some Mexicans trying to make an offer for my car. Oops.


[1 Points] nothingasitseems1:

Every veteran DNMer has been through this. One time i had a weird delivery in which the tracking said that the parcel was "undeliverable, slip left." No slip, though. Freaked out, only to finally realize that i had another unexpected clearnet package arrive the same day. I live in a yuppy-ish PUD where all the mailboxes are the same and on the small side. Mailperson just happened to grab the clearnet parcel first, mailbox it, and then there was no room for the DNM parcel. It's the "slip left" but not... that worried me. Finally deduced that my box was too full and she decided to deliver it the next day rather than actually leave a slip and make me go fetch it.

That's exactly what happened. Got the DNM parcel the next day.

But not before burying shit in my backyard flowerbed :(


[1 Points] Yellow-King-yo:

Jehovah's Witness.


[0 Points] None:

[deleted]


[0 Points] None:

you're crying about flushing a 0.5? what a loser