Looking to Steal what is left of Christmas

Mods this doesn't count as sourcing as it is definitely a Rare Product inquiry.

I'm looking for a vendor who has the means and motive to help me finish stealing christmas once and for all. Tomorrow is christmas, it's practically here. I MUST find some way to stop christmas from coming, I hate all that holiday cheer.

I'm tired of all the who boys and girls waking early and rushing to their toys. and then, oh the noise! oh, the noise, noise, NOISE!. If there is one thing I hate its the NOISE.

I hear TopgearUK has lucy aplenty, I want to give the whos a dose, or maybe twenty. Perhaps tripwithscience can help me shroom them out, or maybe it would be better to put some of BBMC's meth up their snout. Trappys not a vendor, but he seems rather corrupt. I'm sure if anyone could stop christmas, he'd make sure it was abrupt. Maybe the mods will help me close christmas down for the day, I hope they aren't mad at me for trying to disobey. And who could forget the grandwizardslair's big chuckle, Could he maybe help me solve this, silly christmas puzzle? All the markets seem useless with their shills and poor UI, Sometimes I wish Silk road was unable to die.

Yeah thats all I got, I couldn't rhyme anymore. Merry Christmas you darknet denizens, don't let the Law Enforcement knock at your door.


Comments


[63 Points] Pelican_Vendor:

Trappys not a vendor, but he seems rather corrupt. I'm sure if anyone could stop christmas, he'd make sure it was abrupt

GOLD


[21 Points] CultureChesterSucks:

Psst. Hey buddy. I know a hit man that'll take out Santa Claus nice and fast. He'll shoot him right out of the sky, and he won't get any blood on your roof.


[13 Points] Ruthersford:

Maybe Christmas makes people happy

Don't ask that fucking grinch trappy

Maybe BBMC will cook up this sub some meth

What he's masturbating too is anyone's guess

The mods are corrupt, they take markets money

If they have a sense of humor, they'll find this funny

:p


[8 Points] Hank_Vendor:

I can do you 72% of Christmas for 4.8btc FE only, no reships. stealth is peng


[5 Points] powerman15:

Alphabays admins are pretty good at stealing shit so that would be the ideal place to start.


[2 Points] procowtipper:

Bartender, I'll have what he is having.


[1 Points] None:

gamma grinch


[1 Points] samwhiskey:

Bruce?


[1 Points] redditbelike:

This was dope


[1 Points] None:

don't let the Law Enforcement knock at your door.

Going to set up a steel door (imagine a really fucking thick steel chamber) and purposely order shit from low quality vendors so they have a challenge entering a reinforced door.

Should make for a good YouTube video. I wonder if they'd give up...


[1 Points] Wasted_24:

Shit is fiiiii.


[1 Points] Vendor_BBMC:

I didn't notice it rhymed until you mentioned it in the last sentence. Why don't you format it into stanzas instead of a methblock?

I had a really great sleep, got woken up around mid-day by the Brazilian chick who didn't turn up last night phoning me. I just unlocked the door and came back to bed. Next time I was awoken by the bubbling of my meth bong, she was in bed next to me.

Quick sex has the same remarkable properties of a wank. If you're awake, it gets you off to sleep.. If you're asleep, it wakes you up.

I smoked a bit of ice, was amazingly alert, had sex. But the moment I shot my load she was trapped beneath my snoring dead-weight.

The 10 minutes of sleep after sex is the BEST sleep. I like women who don't ruin it by jumping straight out of bed and humming "Spanish Flea" by Tijuana Brass. I'm cursed with a photographic musical memory, and I once had that song going round in my head every day when I woke up. For several weeks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-_2QpbXMbw It used to play in my head whenever I walked down the street, like my theme tune. You can't get depressed with that song in your head.

You'll think of me whenever you hear this tune.


[1 Points] shitbrik:

Fire!


[0 Points] shirtglasses:

Someone is shadowbanned.


[-3 Points] None:

[deleted]