I work under the shipping supplies department of the USPS. I am not a government employee, we are the company that orchestrates the warehouse distribution of the usps's supplies. We handle filling orders for packages/envelopes. Chances are, if you've ever ordered envelopes or boxes from the online store or through the call center we've got an account with your info up.
If you have any questions about delivery status/s or tracking information/ or questions about what the stealthiest packaging would be/etc etc. Feel free to ask me and I can probably provide you with whatever info you're looking for.
So feel free to AMA!
If I lick too many envelopes, will I die of acute toxicity like George's fiancee on Seinfeld?
I think I'll stick to my own thoughts on that, no offense. But thank you.