Hypothetically speaking, how would one be able to buy rental property with earnings from DNM?

Hi all, this is completely hypothetical and just an idea, but I've thought that using earnings from DNM vending to buy rental property would be a good idea, but how exactly could one go about doing this??? I'm not sure you can buy a house with straight cash and even if you could, wouldn't that be fishy and raise some red flags perhaps? any thoughts on this guys?


Comments


[39 Points] BGFlyingToaster:

Throw several huge parties with lots of hookers and blow. Invite execs from large companies in your area. Get them to put you on their payroll as an "executive consultant" at a ridiculous rate. Bill them a few hours a week each to keep inviting them to your amazing parties. Legit income and no traceability on the cash.

Oh, and please invite me.


[29 Points] Checkyostats123:

Also. You can't usually buy a house with straight Cash.

But you can run $20,000-$30,000 through a bank account over a month or 2 without it raising too much suspicion. Set aside a couple Grand to pay taxes on it. Setup a dummy LLC selling junk electronics from China on Craigslist. Start writing fake receipts from " sales " and ya. It's really not that hard to launder money. Get creative. I once did this with about 80 grand over a 6 month period, it wasn't that difficult.


[16 Points] ggghhhhhh:

With how many people are making big money in crypto investments without the IRS knowing right now I think that’s your best play.

Put 30k of BTC into monero. Then back into btc and cash out.

Then report it as money earned from investing in monero.

I would not even think about fucking around with fake proof of incomes etc.

If you wanna pull stuff like that you better have a personal relationship with the realtor/lender.


[12 Points] None:

[deleted]


[9 Points] autospincasino:

Shop around with accountants initially under a fake name, explaining that your currently holding x amount of BTC and you're looking to exchange it to fiat to invest in property, hookers and blow.

Settle with the one that offers you the best solution. Cough up their fees, pay whatever tax etc is required and rest in the knowledge that whilst you maybe didnt make it out dollar for dollar square you can lay back without future concern.


[9 Points] Checkyostats123:

Get fake proof of income, w2s. They do this on clearnet sites. Google it. Also get some fake bank deposit sheets from same sites. Match the deposits with your fake w2 and you have a pretty legit looking income on paper.


[7 Points] glassgun13:

Buy a car wash instead?


[3 Points] dirkgently420:

Buy rent to own and then use the tenants money to pay the mortgage, should something go wrong you can throw some of your crypto in and pretty soon you can use your real estate to launder your shit.


[3 Points] _PrinterPam_:

Launder the money. Start a legit, service-based business (to avoid problems with trying to show inventory purchases & sales) and pad your books. Pay your taxes. Buy house.


[2 Points] GirlsDontLikeIce:

You need to open a legitimate business and cook the books.

You're talking about a few hundred k to a million. This is very dangerous stuff.

All I do is sell bitcoin and the government wants to ruin my life thinking i'm holding out on taxes.


[2 Points] Intergalactic_Reborn:

Play it safe and rent a house from a buddy. A small apartment and get your shit together is all you gotta do.


[2 Points] Ubango_v2:

Why not say you got X amount for gambling? Go to Las Vegas, have receipts. Make it be like you won it online where its legal in a state. You pay taxes on your winnings, bam. Legal money


[2 Points] _Dreadz:

just look for owner will carries no banks its how most of the grow houses/properties are built. you pay a monthly payment which is basically just your interest on the loan and then have a balloon payment once a year which is usually scedulded after october to allow for the harvest time. You get the paperwork when you make your final payment and most have wont have an early payment fee ( some people want you to not pay early so they can collect more of the interest but most will allow you to buy it out like a lease after a year or two if you wanted


[1 Points] papervoid:

I'm sure you could find some Russian RE Agent to take coin. The only legitimate housing you can buy with BTC are hotels AFAIK


[1 Points] AlpraCream:

Rent out some property on backpages, some nice real estate on there.


[1 Points] ice_cream4breakfast:

Buy or rent?


[1 Points] Yangonin2:

You've been mining bitcoins for a very, very long time.


[0 Points] Thx002:

You should have first thought about laundering the money instead of having this "problem" now, dummy.