Utopic Vendor review - tired of nonsense

Allow me to first and foremost say that I do not purchase weed for myself, I do so for someone I am very close to who needs it in lieu of anti-anxiety medication(it works better for this person than zoloft ever has). That may not be as sexy a medical use of cannabis as cancer treatments, but as far as I'm concerned it still requires a vendor who is consistent and reliable, two things that Utopic is not. I have ordered from Utopic 5 times, and each time he finds a new way to frustrate me to no end. Some might be asking why I would continue ordering from him if he was so frustrating, he's about on par with the real-world pot dealers I've interacted with so I didn't really know much better and was afraid I would find someone even worse and/or possibly more malevolent than Utopic.

I'm going to break my review into 5 categories (stealth, product, professionalism, communication, and shipping) score each one and then give Utopic an overall summary. The scores are as follows: 0 = the same as a 1 but in such a way that it makes me concerned or angry, 1 = fails to meet expectations in most if not all ways, 2 = fails to meet expectations consistently, 3 = meets expectations, 4 = consistently meets and sometimes exceeds expectations, 5 = always meets and consistently exceeds expectations. Hopefully that will give you an idea of how I'm grading so you can better judge my review.

Stealth (4.5/5): Quite frankly, Utopic's stealth is one of the only things he deserves to be complimented on, in my opinion; it's cute, clever, and would fool anyone giving the contents of the package a once over, if someone were to tear your mail apart piece by piece they'd find it, but quite frankly there's only a very small handful of vendors with stealth good enough to fool someone who knows what they're looking for. I think that Utopic's stealth is probably in the top 10%

Product (3.75/5): Not buying for myself I was somewhat concerned as to whether or not I should even add this category, but I had a long talking with the person I buy for about it, and according to them Utopic's product is usually a 4 - 4.5, definitely worthy of being called top-shelf. For those of you unfamiliar with Utopic's system, rather than giving you a choice of strains, he allows you to specify how many strains you want to receive, and then splits your order up according to what he has. The reason I rate it 3.75 instead of a 4 or above is due to the fact that I'm also told that in every single order I have received Utopic has included a bag of Jack Herer that seems to either have been dried poorly or is simply very old, either way the Jack Herer is definitely the low point of every order, and I suspect one of the reasons that he no longer gives buyers the choice of what strain to buy is so he can always include it and get rid of it since nobody would request it.

Professionalism (0/5): This is where Utopic starts to fail pretty bad. I was tempted to give him a 2, but then I looked back through my messages and realized that during one of my orders he mentioned needing an address resend because of a hard drive crash, suggesting that he's saving buyer information after he marks an order as shipped without actually shipping it. He might not be doing so for very long, I don't know, but that makes me nervous and had I realized that the first time around I wouldn't have bought from him anymore.

Communication (2/5): Utopic is abysmal at communicating with customers, plain and simple. For the most part, he and I shouldn't really need to communicate, I put the order in and then he sends me a package, not a difficult arrangement. However, on the times that communication is needed Utopic's strategy seems to be to either not or use a one-size-fits-all form message that doesn't always apply to everyone's situation.

Shipping speed (0/5): If you expect to receive your drugs in a reasonable amount of time, don't order from Utopic. I've never had an order take less than 9 business days from the time he marks the order as "confirmed"(Utopic never tells you when it's shipped, because then you'd realize how long it actually takes him to get to your order). In the past I would make an order, and when the supply was about 2 weeks from the bottom, I would reorder but consistently it would show up 4-5 days late and I would have to try to contain someone's severe anxiety while I waited. Then I got the brilliant plan to double the order size but keep the same ordering schedule(once a month) but somehow Utopic kept managing to have the order arrive 4-5 days later than it needed to. Most recently(the reason I'm done with Utopic), I ordered around the end of May, and after 3 full weeks messaged Utopic requesting he check on the tracking for my package, at which point he messaged me back with a form email that acted indignant that anyone would accuse him of being a scammer and stating in not too unclear terms that he'd been several weeks behind on his orders because reasons but that he was now caught up. I honestly have no clue if my package will ever arrive or if it was really ever sent, but Utopic is not someone I'm really trusting with my money from now on.

Overall (2.05/5) I'd say that while I think Utopic is an honest person just trying to make some money, I think he has most likely stretched himself further than he intended and has been unable to meet the demand, but refuses to admit it to anyone, possibly even himself.

That's my story.


Comments


[3 Points] synikal12:

He used to be on point man. When I ordered from him a reeeeal long time ago it never took more than 5 days. Sad to hear he's basically falling apart.


[1 Points] 012928:

Out of curiosity, did you use 1st Class or Priority?


[1 Points] Wordizbond:

To be fair, he says on his profile that orders may take up to 8-11 days. Yeah that's above average shipping time but at least he's honest about it. Utopic will continue to be my go-to for his product quality and stealth and people wanting to order from Utopic should keep his slower ship times in mind and plan accordingly or don't complain.


[0 Points] whothehoe:

Lucky.. I'm still waiting on my wax..