Outside smokin a cig, mailman says to me, "Are you buying drugs off the internet??"

So of course I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?! NO!" and he said well it sure sounds like it and shaked the box. What do I hear? A bunch of "pills" shaking around in a box. So I start shittin myself and I'm like I have no fucking idea but I definitely am not ordering drugs off the internet. He says whatever, throws me the package, I go inside, shake it myself, SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF FUCKING PILLS IN THE BOX! I open the fucker up. THERES FUCKING NERDS AND A LIGHTER BEHIND MY REAL PACKAGE. THAT is not fucking stealth. That is just retarded. What the fuck am I supposed to leave for feedback now??


Comments


[219 Points] deepindaweb:

looks like u have to kill ur mailman now sorry


[68 Points] TheOpiateKing:

Reverse stealth lol. Also the fact you were standing beside your mailbox probably didn't help his suspicions...


[53 Points] Sex4days:

nerds are delicious.. you saved yourself some money there.. and a lighter.. wow. show some gratitude


[50 Points] AmbienSleepwalker:

Lmao at the mailman calling you out. Who is the vendor and we want pics of the nerds.


[41 Points] None:

Dude. Lmao. This has to be a joke.

Loooooool


[32 Points] Bars4daze:

Lol Free candy with drugs is normally a good thing.


[22 Points] R_O_F_L:

Fucking nerds? Like from the candy store? This is right up there with HF's infamous sand cookie.


[19 Points] Ghostfeind:

Name and Shame

And post pics for "proof"

And Lol, just.... Lol.


[16 Points] Hong_Kong_Post:

I don't think this warrants a 'name and shame'. It was an elaborate stealth idea that didn't go according to plan. At least your vendor's thinking about decoys, etc. We need more who are willing to think outside the box.

If he's a good vendor otherwise, send him a message along the the lines of, 'hey man, got the package - I know you're a stand-up guy, etc - great that you're using a decoy, but this time you nearly got me arrested.'

Send him a link to this reddit thread and add - 'I didn't name you, just thought it was worth some discussion, etc etc'

There was another very detailed post here in the past 24 hrs saying that a decoy should tell a story. A pack of nerds and a lighter isn't a story, I mean who the fuck sends someone nerds and a lighter. I think your vendor would gain a lot by reading this thread and the decoy thread. If you tell him in a way that doesn't sound like you're bitching at him, he might just take the advice and become SuperStealthVendor. Like me haha...

Good luck :)

EDIT: oh yeah, and burn down your mailman and move to Belize.

Here's the decoy thread I mentioned: https://pay.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMarkets/comments/3zqafq/up_your_stealth/


[13 Points] bobbiggs69:

I hear Belize is nice this time of year.


[8 Points] Realitybytes_:

The correct response was "depends, you got a package for me?"


[9 Points] gettomeetag:

that stealth why would he purposefully make it sound like pills wtf am i reading this gave me cancer


[6 Points] heyfreshhhhh:

Do you live in the middle of nowhere? Mailmen at least where I live don't give a flying fuck about anything.


[4 Points] PleatherInterior:

The vendor just wanted you to know he thinks you are a flaming nerd.


[4 Points] octomarvel:

Regent test the nerds please.

=)


[3 Points] None:

I like to put a NERD in my pipe with a meth rock, HOLY SHIT that rush :-)


[4 Points] None:

[deleted]


[2 Points] None:

Lol oh wow. I woulda Shit bricks like crazy. Go crush them nerds up and snort them lol


[2 Points] AlbertFishIsMyIdol:

Should have said yes or told him to fuck off because it's none of his business what's in your package. For all he knew it was a pack of nerds and a lighter in it.


[2 Points] Horehey34:

Dude you should have played that off better.

You made that so bait.


[2 Points] thenarrrowpath:

Yea you saying "WTF, no" didn't really help. Next time agree and amplify.


[2 Points] AndThenHeSays4:

nigga say you bought candy. what's the problem?


[1 Points] Jchhchdgdgdgd:

Hahahahhahah. Pics?


[1 Points] Smerka_Bowl:

Give the stealth a 0, but lmao at a box of nerds in the mail making it sound like pills.


[1 Points] None:

username matches perfect


[1 Points] None:

Shit, mailman knows what's up

Good thing he did not called you out. He could've made serious cash for burning your ass.


[1 Points] chasethatdragon:

Just so you know, online pills are totally a common and legal thing. My Pops has packages that rattle like pills sent to the house at least few times per month. Also, you should clear it up with him next time, say oh my stupid friend sent me a huge box of nerds for my birthday or somthing to that effect...if you don''t talk to him about it I'd consider your address burned.


[1 Points] GreenMatters:

The "mailman" here aren't even aware of drugs being shipped in parcels/letters; they're stupid as sh*t. Sometimes I even have to tell them what to do when to do it and how it's usually done... and they've been working there for years!


[1 Points] donefuckedaround:

lol thats fuckin rediculous


[1 Points] topknotch89:

yo THIS!


[1 Points] jurypaidoff:

id be fuckin pissed


[1 Points] Sronmor:

sounds like a good posty


[1 Points] monkstemple:

plain out horrible stealth. id leave a 3/5


[1 Points] asimplescribe:

Diet/protein pills depending if you are fat or skinny. Convince him you bought into the latest bullshit health fad.


[1 Points] AmazinPride:

you'll have to fuck him in the ass to show dominance and then both of yas take vacation to Belize.


[1 Points] Molly-Cyrus:

Are you just going to let him bribe you with candy like that? Don't be stupid like I was....ass gas or candy, my ass.


[1 Points] attilathehunn:

DarkNetMarkets are mainstream now.


[1 Points] Orc_:

LOL a very popular (and reliable) vendor send me a letter just filled with pill blisters that sounded as you moved the letter (yes, a fucking letter) it was hilarious but here in Portugal they're decriminalized so I didn't give a fuck.


[1 Points] 420-BL4Z3-IT:

SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF FUCKING PILLS IN THE BOX! I open the fucker up. THERES FUCKING NERDS AND A LIGHTER BEHIND MY REAL PACKAGE

holy fuck im dying ahahahahahhaah


[1 Points] ovrd:

lol, so quite some time ago (close to 10 years) i ordered some xans off of the internet. It was from some weird ass IOP and they always send the packs in blister packs and then in some sorta bubble mailer.

well i had to go in and sign for them one day (no biggie, was use to this) and there is this new guy at the counter i had NEVER seen before. had a sorta american flag tattoo FLAME going up his arm with an eagle tattoo somewhere in the mix. drop dead serious, this guy screams U S MUTHA FUCKIN A.

So I'm thinking it's a cop or a redneck biker that had just got a new job after leaving the prison system. Either way he hands my package slip over and i sign for it as an agent for myself. He then goes in the back to get it, when he comes back he's shaking it the entire walk back. hands it over and says "here you go, your "magic" jumping jelly beans from pakistan".

Scared the shit out of me for a little bit, I was ordering a good bit back then too so this dude was almost ALWAYS there when I had to go in and sign for packages lol. While I don't live out that way anymore I do have friends out there and have heard that he is still working there. Just as hauntingly serious as day 1 when I met him with my large pack of upjohn 1.0 purple footbals LOL


[1 Points] joemofo214:

Next time, they are either beans, or maracas, of jewelry beads, depending on the size of package


[1 Points] belovely:

what did you order? you could've said it was an herbal supplement or something. i hope you didn't act freaked out. you sure he wasn't joking?


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] throwaway802dot11:

Plenty of legit pills are sent in the mail everyday anyhow, nothing to freak out over.


[1 Points] coltsrule7:

5/5 FE'ed will update! Always wanted a maraca! Here these are top self maraca and damn! It's so fucking LLOUD I can hear it threw the box! My fuckin maleman was like DANm this is some LOUD popin shit you got in here!


[1 Points] itsbooming:

You should have just said "Yeah, No credit or shorts - how many you want?"


[1 Points] None:

I wish I would get some consumable sweet treats especially if I was not expecting them.

Re mail man, you need to test his capabilities before considering sanitisation. As mentioned before, a casual flash bang thrown nachalantly in his direction will determine if he is Casey Ryback or harmless.

You do not want to mess with a postman that had delta level security clearance combined with special forces training - trust me I have seen his before and it does not end well.


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] ninjawizard13:

Lol, one of my first orders was some weed that was packaged inside of a cereal type box, so you could hear & feel it all shaking and shifting inside. They had turned the cereal box inside out and taped it shut that way. Duplicate HAND written address labels stuck on the outside. It was a fucking joke. This certain west coast dirty crew had no idea what stealth meant. Never ordered from them again; Lucky if they were out of high school... Idiots! That's when I learned to read through all of your vendor's posts to make sure they know what they are doing; It's YOUR jail time...


[1 Points] None:

Some of you guys are alright,

If you live in the seventh circle of hell, don't attend the great skellington ball tomorrow.

I am using Reddit Overwrite to delete all of my previous comments for privacy. I will be back under a similar username /r/opiates.


[1 Points] Wtfisthatkid:

I got free m&ms once with a pack. That was sweet. It sounded like pills but it was a sweet decoy setup..it looked like it came from a free sample site, and it was the m&ms in the plastic tube..and all my shit was basically hidden in the m&ms in a certain way. Even fooled me..twice... Even though that pack is all I was expecting in the mail.


[1 Points] AliceInSwitzerland:

Your mailmain knew you were ordering drugs and wasn't fucking blazed when he hold you?

Dude, that's one honest mailman you have there.


[1 Points] fdicasoli:

Its none of your mailman's business what's in your package. His job is simply to deliver it, not to protect the general public and cease packages.


[1 Points] None:

Haha this thread provided some gold in the first few replies.

on a serious note OP, leave him shit feedback. Even in the UK where our internal post system rarely checks anything and 99.9% of orders are safe it still pisses me off no end to see vendors throwing a bag inside an envelope. Even if they MBB it, how much hassle really is it to employ a decoy?

Your source has caused you grief with his shit stealth. Even if the product is good and the delivery time fast he can only really score a max of 2/5 now.


[1 Points] Heisencock:

I think this is the first time I've ever seen a specific stealth method brought up on here


[1 Points] BahWhatever666:

I'd have been like, nah, I bought some "nunya"

Nunya god damn business!


[1 Points] Squee-:

Today in 'things that never happened!'


[1 Points] bacondev:

Who was the vendor?


[1 Points] Agorahooaway:

I gave my mailman the balance to three gift cards for Christmas. Now she makes sure to knock for me like. I requested her to do 6 months ago, any time. I have a package. :) nothing better than bribing the mail carrier with leftover gift cards, she treats me 90% better (was already pretty good before, just wouldnt knock when I had packages or even just mail.


[1 Points] The_Ira:

I'm sorry but that that is fucking hilarious... except for the small detail of your mailman suspecting that you buy drugs online. You should leave a bad review for your supplier, that's not the way.


[1 Points] Dr_Zhivago_:

Your little "nephew or cousin" or w/e sent you a box w/nerds candy (w/a bunch of other junk) in the mail, next time tell the mailman that. It'll get that thought of ordering online out of his head. A joke package


[1 Points] darkmarke:

I guess a box of nerds is better than a live rattlesnake.


[0 Points] FUDFUDGEBROWN:

YEAH RIGHT


[-1 Points] HulkVsMeth:

Lol it reminds me when my OG mail man said he was moving and showed me a package with 500 bars in there and said no more of these and I thought he knew but put on the cheesiest grin and I knew iv been up to many days from meth lol (4days)