Man takes 90 Xanax, steals 3 trucks, crashes them all. "I messed up"

http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/i-messed-up-man-says-after-stealing-and-crashing-several/article_eb1d6b7b-9867-51e3-8b14-e70dbc36c75a.html

Summed up: Man takes 90 xanax pills on his birthday, then goes on a truck-stealing rampage, crashing them all, then hides in a ditch until cops find him. "I messed up".

I bet he doesn't even remember any of it by now.

Remember: Use Xanax with moderation.


Comments


[46 Points] BigFatCat_DNM:

Insane. I literally eat a half of one of your bars and I'm basically retarded.


[43 Points] BHOmber:

I have to lol at the fact that OP is the reason for this bartard epidemic sweeping the nation.


[30 Points] None:

[deleted]


[19 Points] AlpraKing:

What I dont get is...How the hell could he steal so many trucks under the influence of xanax? Its not like he just found trucks randomly abandonned with doors unlocked and keys in contact? Basically the guy is a proffesionnal car theif and that night he "Messed up" his theiving spree from taking too much Xanax.

Do I make any sense or am I too barred out myself?


[14 Points] FirstBaron:

Notice the "Messed" is in parentheses, so he probably actually said "I fucked up".


[15 Points] Ketsa:

The only time I took something similar to xanax I woke up the next day fully clothed on my bed, no idea what happened previous evening.

With 1 pill.

Can people really eat 90 and not drop unconscious ?


[12 Points] otistoole:

So which darknetmarkets subscriber is this?

gotta be one of you


[10 Points] explodyboompow:

It can never be said enough.

Bars are the Devil's candy. Possible the only drug I regret doing.

You know those old commercials that have people doing crazy shit and then saying "This is you on drugs!"

They are retarded, unless you've been high on Xanax.

Then that's just some shit that's true.


[10 Points] Fukinondasink:

White people be wierd man.


[5 Points] None:

The mechanics of this are amazing. Let's assume he was taking 0.25mg Pfizer pills. And even if he gobbled only 50 in reality (likely less) this is quite the epic spree. If you dropped 10 xanax into most people there is no chance they will be hyper-active like this, although they may be "active." He should have been sent to Mars due to his system's excellent ability to keep going.


[4 Points] None:


[4 Points] None:

I'm not a regular user of them but 2x2mg bars puts me to fucking sleep whether I want to or not, and I'm a big fella- 90 of the fuckers?

Damn.


[5 Points] None:

if there were no repercussions, taking a ridiculous amount of xanax like that might actually be a lot of fun. cause like, no matter who you are, society has made all humans at least somewhat inhibited. you're worried that you might get hurt, you might get arrested, you might make an idiot of yourself, whatever. but when youre that fucked up, all decisions would be derived from knee-jerk reactions. youd be a primal equivalent of yourself, motivated by impulse and nothing more. minus the vomiting assosciated with getting piss drunk.


[3 Points] romeoprico:

Who the hell takes 90 xanax?? That dude was on a death wish


[2 Points] lectorthevector:

"It was at this moment, Jackson knew he fucked up" But seriously stay safe out there.

This shit is funny as hell though, this is wat probably went through his head "GOTTA GO FAST"


[2 Points] TifaPunchFace:

I hope the guy whos jumper cables were stolen doesn't take it out on his son.


[1 Points] Lolsteroids:

I guess he did mess up.


[1 Points] Thriz_whistle:

He was awarded a gold medal in the Bartard Olympics.


[1 Points] pallmallman12:

That guy has a helluva tolerance! I would have been knocked out three weeks. lol

Edit. The more I think about this. I think the guy got some bunk shit. I haven't ever seen anyone with tolerance like this.


[1 Points] mememaking:

<p><strong>JEFFERSON COUNTY</strong> • Officials in Jefferson County say a man stole a truck and crashed it, stole another truck and crashed it, tried to steal another vehicle but ran off, and stole another truck with a trailer and crashed into a car, causing both vehicles to run off the road and into trees.</p><p>When police finally caught up with the man, he told them, “I (messed) up.”</p><p>He also told them he had taken 90 Xanax, an anti-anxiety drug.</p><p>The man, John M. Cullen Jr., of Cuba, Mo., was arrested after the last crash and faces several felony charges. The incident started late Sunday night, Cullen's 39th birthday.</p><p>According to court documents, a Missouri state trooper first discovered an abandoned Chevrolet Silverado crashed into a tree on Bryan Road at Highway 61. It was a Missouri Department of Transportation truck and had been missing from a shed in Festus.</p><p>A couple hours later, the same trooper was dispatched to a crashed Dodge Dakota on southbound Interstate 55, south of Crystal City. The truck had traveled into the center median and destroyed 21 cable median barrier posts. Again no one was with the truck. The owner lived in Festus, and said his St. Pius X High School hat and jumper cables were missing from the truck.</p><p>At about 1 a.m. Monday morning, police were dispatched to a vehicle theft in progress in the 3500 block of Phyllis Road in Festus, a short distance from the interstate crash. The homeowner said he saw a man run away from his house toward the interstate, dropping several items before he ran, including the St. Pius hat and jumper cables.</p><p>Shortly before 5 a.m., a white Dodge Ram with a flatbed trailer hauling a Bobcat was reported missing from the 12700 block of Waggoner Road, not far from Phyllis Road. Within ten minutes, a crash involving the truck and trailer was reported on Highway 61 north of Danby Road.</p><style>


[1 Points] Sw1zl:

Fuck you, fuck your benzos


[1 Points] PierceArrow02:

I'm wondering, seeing how fast that shit kicks in, how he got past even say...30, or 40, unless he's swallowing handfuls of 20 one after another...in which case, wow, what the fuck. My second question is, after getting 90 down(fuckin WHAT!?) how is moving possible, and I don't mean like how do you walk, I mean like...how do you move your chest back and forth to even god damn breath lol. Dude probably had a MAJOR tolerance, FUCK ....can you imagine the seizure this guy's in for? Earthquake seizing style Jesus..some fuckin people I swear..


[1 Points] an_illegal_smile:

I'm amazed by his energy. A nurse friend once told me about an attempted suicide her ward got where the guy had decided to kill himself with RC benzos. He had taken 200 .25mg flubromazolam, 150 2mg diclazepam, and 100 2mg etiz all at once. Dude dropped like a rock into unconsciousness after taking it all, and spent a couple of weeks in intensive care stuck between 2 and 3 on the Glasgow coma scale. It was interesting, they could with effort wake the guy up and get him to talk, etc, but he couldn't stay awake longer than a few minutes at a time and he had no memory of what happened to him from the time he downed the pills to about three weeks later, including whole conversations he had with the nurses once he started to get better. Yet here is this guy running around stealing trucks and causing general mayhem. Benzos are weird to me because of how unpredictable the effects can be on people -- why do some black out but keep walking, talking, stealing cars, etc on autopilot, and others just go to sleep?


[1 Points] hamilted:

Damn, my old roommate totaled my car after 5-10 mg. 90 pills is at least 22.5 mg, I'm almost impressed at this guys ability to stay awake.


[1 Points] mrSmokeyMcpot:

Can you not die off Xanax or what?


[1 Points] Dilhydrods:

TIFU


[1 Points] barrbaby:

lol oops


[1 Points] chefjoesb:

Bwahahahahahaha!!


[1 Points] FeenixArisen:

I can promise you one thing - he don't remember JACK SHIT.


[1 Points] None:

Wouldn't you overdose on 90 bars?


[1 Points] valuum:

most I ever took was 33mg in one night, blacked out but didn't knock me out.

My girl takes 10-20mg if she wants to get high off it, shit she went to a job interview on 15mg and got hired.


[0 Points] None:

lol wut


[-1 Points] None:

Lmao. Biggest bartard ever.

Was it your product?


[-1 Points] disgruntled_tomato:

yeahhhh i had maybe 1.5 (if even that much) mg of xans and a moderate amount of alcohol and i was at the point of getting naked and running around my friends house like a retard hahahah. 80? wtf