Stupid paranoid response, ended up doing something stupid

OK, so, I thought I was getting followed by the police. Had a plastic ziplock baggy (about 5cm by 6cm) with less than 0.1g of coke in it, literally a crappy last line not even worth bothering with.

Didn't want to be caught with class A as it can be grounds to get your house searched in the UK, and although I have nothing to hide there's no way I'd want to explain to the people I live with what was going on.

So, swallowed the bag. Took a bit of swallowing but it went down. Police just cruised on by. Went to the shop, purchased some milk, downed it then stuck my fingers down my throat. I got nothing - spewed the milk but not the bag.

Anyway, this was exactly a week ago, last Thursday afternoon. I've had no ill effects since, and I've been fishing through every turd that I've produced. Nothing.

So today I went to the doctor. Thought I'd give it a week and if nothing had come out I should probably ask for his advice. He didn't ask for the circumstances surrounding the event, and I didn't volunteer them. He just said he'd have to talk to a digestive specialist as it was an unusual problem I'd presented him with.

This is what I told him:

  1. I'm not unwell, and apart from being overly cautious about any twinge or unusual sensation I'm feeling, all seems normal.

  2. I'm eating normally. I increased the fiber in my diet to aid the transit of aforementioned foreign object.

  3. Turds, as far as I can tell, are normal. At least one a day. I've never got so up close and personal with so many, but as far as I can tell all is as it should be on the chocolate log front.

The doctor couldn't be sure that I hadn't digested and broken down the bag, but from my research I am reasonably confident that it's not possible to digest plastic. I'm not worried about the coke, it wasn't even that good and you'd need to ingest close to a gram to put you in danger, I'm more concerned about the bag.

My question is: anyone ever swallowed something and have some sort of experience of passing the object out, I'm guessing I can't be the only one to have done something rash like this.

I'm a lot less nervous now that a week has passed, not sure what my logic is, but I'm calmer about it. At the very least I thought it's give the group a laugh. Certainly made a few of my close friends piss themselves. Fuckers!


Comments


[7 Points] deezyyyy:

If you swallowed that bag a week ago, and are still shitting on the reg, it is no longer inside you.


[5 Points] p710gav:

You really thought to eat a plastic bag before sticking the bag in your underwear or something


[3 Points] None:

About a year ago at a pub we managed to egg one of my mates on to swallow a £2 coin, no idea how he actually managed to swallow it but we watched him do it so know if definately went down.

After it not coming out a week later he went to see the doctor he said just give it time and it will pass if it doesn't come out in another week make an appointment to see me and we'll discuss your options, luckily enough it came out after about 10 days.

Just wait and eventually it will come out, or as previously stated it may already be out. Next time take /u/p710gav advice and just stick it down your underwear.


[2 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] DaMenehune:

It laid eggs in your brain.


[1 Points] SIDKITTEH:

You're a genius