Now that you're sobering up from your DNM-fueled weekend, come tell us about your hijinks! A mod will give their favorite story each week a month of Reddit gold and a little something else which is a surprise! Winners may not disclose the surprise or they'll have it taken back. Curious what it is? You'll have to win to find out.
So yesterday was interesting. After getting my sheet of WoW 105ug tabs tabs from GG I decided to go use the beautiful weather and drop a few. So I meet up with my 2 friends. Let's call them Ben and Jerry. So Ben and I decide to drop 5 while Jerry only goes with 2.
So after the usual comeup period I realize something. "Fuck man. This shit is way more potent than the last tabs we had." Ben agrees watching my face morph into what he describet as an "Atztec Dwarf", while I watch the water in front of me change colors. From time to time I'd throw a stone into the lake but even that was already getting quite hard.
So after realizing we might have to go with a bit less next time we make the next completly smart and logical decision. Let's fucking go away from this nice ass spot in nature to go buy 3 watermelons in a busy ass Mall.
"Why not?" we think, comnpletly ignoring the fact that it was a retarded idea. Walking was quite hard, mostly because it was hard to tell were gravity was coming from since the path we were following was basicly warping up and down, but we were driven by what we were now calling "the calling of the 3 watermelons of justice."
About 20 minutes later we arrive. And what do we see? People. Fuck. What now?
"No problem PM_ME_UR_SKETCH" Jerry said. "I only took two!" What Jerry didn't realize was that he was way too wasted anyways be it 2 tabs or 200.
But ash they say all the time: "The watermelons are calling."
Ben and I wish him good luck as we search out a quite place in the parking lot and Jerry went in. We were scared shitless. What if Jerry had never seen a Watermelon? What if he had no money? Would he get shot by police for Watermelon-shoplifting?
As we wait in total agony we completely loose all concept of time, but as if god had answered our Prayers Jerry exits the store with 3 bags with a round heavy object inside.
"You guys got money?" He asks. "We already gave you money" I answer a bit confused. "But I still need to pay tho." He Answeres.
"Wait, but you already have the melons?". Jerry stops and looks me into my big ass eyes and says in total disbelive: "Wait did I just steal these Watermelons?" He checks his pockets and behold, the money is still there.
We burst out loughting. Jerry had just walked into a mall on acid and somehow managed to steal 3 big ass Watermelons without anyone noticing.
So we walk back to the Lake, enter the safe space again and we start eating our tasty ass melons. Suddenly I look Jerry into his eyes and ask: "Were is Ben at?" "I don't know man. I can't remember." He says. I check my Phone and call him up. "Yea who's that?" A distressed voice answeres. "Ben were the fuck are you?" I scream into the phone. "On the fucking island were else?" He answeres sounding a bit confused.
We look across the water and see it. Ben had jumped onto one of the small Boats and rowed to this tiny ass 4x4 meter island in the middle of the Lake completely forgetting that we were with him.
We shout across the lake: "Come the fuck back dude" And what does he do? Fucking jumps into the lake and swims over.
As soon as he reached our side of the Lake he stands up and just let's out a loud scream. Two words: "WATERMELON MOTHERFUCKER"