[Market] T•chka Free Market Leaked Keynote

Stage on tropical island in ocean. Sunset. Stage is equipped for lectures and looks especially stunning when sun rises and falls.

A man in his 50s with his face hidden under his hoodie enters on the stage as sun starts to gradually fade into the ocean.

-- Gentlemen, it's been a while since I appealed to the public. But now are different times. We have so much to tell you about our beloved Goliath, T•chka Market.

A giant screen made of nano particles appears behind speaker. Weird presentation with lots of fractals begins.

-- We've been online for about 5 months time and people really trust us. We don't have deposit system so there's no risk of theft.

Speaker speaks about growth and numbers while smoking fat joint.

-- Since initial launch we have developed a myriad of innovative features: instagram-style newsfeed, auto-witdrawals and support for dead drops. No one has does dead-drops except us. Innovation.

Speaker finishes his joint and removes cape from his face. He looks like Snoop Dogg.

-- Now we are pleased to announce launch of premium accounts and advertising platform.

Sun is slowly sets down.

-- One last thing.

-- Da da da da daa It's tha mothafuckin' D O double G (Snoop Dogg) Da da da da daa You know I'm mobbin' with the D R E Yeah yeah yeah You know who's back up in this mothafucker

What what what what So blaze the weed out there Blaze that shit up nigga Yeah, waz up Snoop?

Top Dogg buy them all nigga burn this shit up DP, GC my nigga turn that shit up CPT, LBC yeah we hookin' back up N' when they bang this in the club baby, you gotta get up

Thug niggas, drug dealers yeah they givin' it up Low life, your life, boy we livin' it up Take a chance that's why we dancin' in the party fo' sho' Slip my ho a forty four n' she crept in it back do'

Bitches lookin' at me strange but you know I don't care Step up in this mothafucker just to swingin' my hair Bitch quit talkin', Crip walk if you down with the set Take a bullet with some dick take and this dope from this jet

Outta town put it down for father of rap N' if your ass get crack, bitch shut your trap Come back get back that's the part of success N' if you believe in the X, then you'll relievin' your stress

Da da da da daa It's the mothafuckin' D R E Dr. Dre mothafucker, what what what what Da da da da daa

You know I'm mobbing with the D O double G Straight off the fuckin' street's of CPT King of the beats n' you ride to em' in your fleet wood (Fleet wood) Or Coupe DeVille rollin' on dubs

How you feel? Whoopty whoop nigga what? Dre n' snoop chroniced out In the 'llac, with doc in the back

Sippin' 'gnac, clip in the strap Dippin' through hoods What hoods? Compton, Long Beach, Ingelwood South Central out to the West side (West side)

It's California love, this California bud Got a nigga gang of pub I'm on one, I might bail up in the Century Club With my jeans on n' my team's strong

Get my drink on n' my smoke on Then go home with somethin' to poke on (Waz up bitch) Loc' it's on for the two triple, oh Comin' real it's the next episode

Hold up, hey For my niggas who be thinkin' we soft We don't play We gonna rockin' 'til the wheels fall of

Hold up, hey For my niggas who be acting too bold Take a seat Hope you ready for the next episode, hey Smoke weed everyday

Sun is completely down. Keynote ends.

tochka3evlj3sxdv o-n-i-o-n


Comments


[2 Points] sillysally11:

Do you even care if people actually visit your site? lol


[1 Points] None:

what?


[1 Points] Baraclough-X:

WTF???x10100


[1 Points] segviol:

Don't use this subreddit while high, kids.


[1 Points] The_Grid_Is_Up:

Umm yeah, this was weird. About that audit...