DarkNetMarkets has inspired me

Hello Reddit. For Your Consideration:

I just wrote a song that was inspired by the markets and this subreddit. Please enjoy and feel free to add a verse or two.

I got all this weight, that I can't move/ Calling old connections just to give 'em the news/ Laughing out loud, rolling up their sleeves/ Sayin', we gonna get it, as soon as we leave/

Been gettin' nervous, worried 'bout the heat/ There's a click on the telephone, a van on the street/ Whiskey to relax, some pills for good sleep/ How am I so broke and in it so deep/

I gotta burn the house down/ and move to Belize/ I gotta burn the house down/ Lay low for six months at least/

I can't make a hat/ I'm outta tin foil/ Coins tied up in escrow/ Bloods beginning to boil/ Can't leave the house/ Cars are following me/ Watch out for new faces/ They're probably LE/

Heads up for the fuzz/ Always around/ I got all my drugs buried/ Deep in the ground/ My return addresses/ Have been compromised/ Why did I ever think/ This venture was wise/ Everywhere I look/ Folks are going to jail/ I know it for certain/ It's time to bail/

And Burn the house down/ Move to Belize/ I gotta burn the house down/ Lay low for two years at least

edit:clarity


Comments


[8 Points] MLP_is_my_OPSEC:

I like it! All you need is someone to create a beat and you'll be rolling in bitches.


[7 Points] Idonu:

Seems like the Belize jokes aren't gonna burn down any time soon lol.


[3 Points] Magicpurpleponyrider:

Bitches ask for the number I give em the pgp key, laying low from them sketchy fools slangin on corners of streets

The government is my dealer! Ya know thc is my healer


[4 Points] Fellowent42000:

We're you high


[3 Points] MethVapourrr:

I like it haha, actually the only time I was amused by a reference to Belize on this subreddit. I say make it into a rap song with a dope beat. Maybe make a music video where it starts out with you calling people to say you just got the drugs, a quarter oz of crystal meth, 50 xanax bars, an 8th of MDMA, and a QP of weed. Then you start getting paranoid cause you have other packages on the way and your thinking, "do people normally get 7 packages in one week?" Next scene- you're contemplating burning down the house and laying low with the stash of drugs you just received. You place multiple gasoline bombs in your house with fuses that all intertwine to where you're sitting out on the porch, you're up all night smoking meth waiting for the mail to come. You should also be drinking out of a bottle of Wild Turkey to calm that DNM anxiety.(oh just saw that you already mentioned whiskey in the post) Then the mail comes and you don't get your package. You get depressed and you hold that fuse in your hand, contemplating. But you make a good decision and pop two xanax bars, then drink till you pass out. Scene changes to next morning- You're sitting there once again smoking meth and drinking liquor, even more worried this time that it wont come. As soon as he drives off you dash up and find a few packages you've been waiting on.(fake DNM packages of course) Open that shit up to find a brick of coke, 100 grams of GHB, and a few hundred viagra pils. (or whatever drugs you want but I think those drugs would fit well. Video ends with you driving up to a rich white suburban neighborhood in connecticut. Maybe have the video showing you cruising down the highway smoking meth and sipping on some GHB that's in liquid form. At the end of the video you should no longer be paranoid, you've gotta be that thug nigga on his way to the Holy Sanctuary of DNM users.

If Stitches can make a music video like his song "MAIL" so can you haha. Just use MSM crystal as your meth(or not ;)) and try to make everything look as real as possible without incriminating yourself too much. Can't skimp on the Xanny bars though. If you're gonna be a one hit wonder than just wear a real looking fake face mask, or if money doesn't allow, The ski mask with an elegant tinfoil hat can never fail. You should definitely make this video, our little DNM culture here has a great amount of potential for some funny (rap, hip hop gangsta rap, whatever it is these days) music.


[2 Points] None:

Rework the fatigued Belize/house burning down reference and put in something new, fresh and jaunty. It's springtime after all.

How about:

"Man I shoulda tumbled/ I think I'm kinda rumbled.

"This paranoia's killing me/ I'm eating handfuls of LSD

"RING RING ON THE DOORBELL IS THAT A CONTROLLED DELIVERY FOR ME?

"I can't be like Defcon/ and end up in a Fed's palm

"I gotta hire me Joshua Dratel/ 'blame it all on Karpeles as well

"Those evil darknet elves/ have been hacking my shit all to hell!

"Forget my 4th amendment rights, that server isn't mine alright?

"I can see my future and it's down the shoot .. is it next to Ross in an orange jumpsuit?

"Man they're gonna let me rot, I need to find DrClu and his DdoS bot...

"But I got no time to freak, this MXE I'm about to do will make things schweet...

"Do a line I'll be fine/ Smoke some weed I'll be freed

"...OMG I have the BEST DEFENSE I'm gonna DO all the evidence!"


[2 Points] Pvt_HarukoHaruhara:

Good! Now, work on switching up your rhyming some. Not every bar has to go AABBCCDD. The best rappers/poets have added variation and deepen the song with more meaningful lyrics by sacrificing simplistic rhyme schemes.


[1 Points] liamguy165:

pretty sweet man, for a beat try some high hat and snares, it'll sound great :)


[1 Points] hdheuud:

I played clarity in the background and I laughed my fucking ass off. You are hilarious


[1 Points] 080997:

russia is better than belize , the US and the UK dontt have extradition agreements with it so you probably wot be deported , plus the economy is going to shit so you can live like a god (if you have money)


[-9 Points] IFuckingLoveGranola:

I logged into reddit to down vote this