I'll begin by saying that although I've used the DNM several times, I'd never before ordered weed. Too risky -- much easier to order a small amount of concentrate and avoid the smell issue. Well, that changed last Friday, when all the buzz around this LSD strain of marijuana got the better of my curiosity. I logged into Evo and lo and behold, a half oz for the remarkably low price of $99. I considered all the people who have ordered weed with no issue, and decided to go for it.
I was expecting the order today. When the mail arrived, it was nowhere in sight. Not a big deal, there are tons of delays this time of year. When an extra large mail truck pulled up in front of my house at 6PM after I'd already gotten my normal mail for the day, you can imagine what my heart did. My hands began trembling as a stocky, underdressed-for-a-winter-mailman got out of the cab already holding a package and heading straight for my door.
I rehearsed the lines in my head. As I opened the door, I immediately began to stammer. "Oh? No, I'm not expecting anything in the mail. I don't want to accept anything that's not meant for me, too much of a headache trying to figure out where it belongs. Sorry."
I could see that the "mailman" wasn't expecting this. He was notably taken aback and his eyes shifted from side to side as he tried to plan his next move. Much to my surprise, he thrust the package toward me and I instinctively threw my hands back to avoid receiving it. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.
Tapping the return address, he said, "Look, it's probably just a Christmas gift from your parents. Can't you just accept it and then see what they want you to do with it?"
The Christmas ornaments look lovely on the tree, BTW.
EDIT: For all the people asking, "WHY?!" -- as I mentioned in the comments but forgot to include in the OP, I was so fucking stoned.
EDIT 2:: For anyone interested, the package got here today and goddamn is it good. Some of you guys need to chill the fuck out and take a funny story for what it is. It more or less really happened, but if you don't understand that I'm emphasizing humor over perfect accuracy you take shit too seriously. If you don't have a single "holy shit I got too high and turned into a complete retard" story you're not smoking weed right.
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