laundering cash?

so the time has come that I reached my goal of ~85k (in cash, not btc) and im trying to figure out how to possible launder or legitimize it. ive been searching throughout the sub and lots of the suggestions were just general.

as of now I have a legit job and use it to pay my bills and just have the cash for spending and what not but since I'm near the end of college i'm trying to pay off those loans...


Comments


[127 Points] ForLol_Serious:

There is only one foolproof way to launder that amount of cash. You have to buy a carwash.


[49 Points] throwahooawayyfoe:

Get yourself a job as a waiter in a high-end fine dining restaurant. Cash flows freely in a place like that and it wouldn't be hard to sneak an extra hundo or two into your tips at the end of every night. Another thing you could do... Rent out a night club for a night, prepay all the liquor, and hold a "private" party. Dirty money goes to the house, and people pay you clean cash in the form of ticket and liquor sales.


[12 Points] mcbirdman12:

Invest in Bitcoin. Not a domestic exchange (coinbase debaucle). Start small, put a few grand at a time; then transfer the btc to your bank. It'll take a long while but it'll work and be safe.


[14 Points] zx88crackingforum:

Become a cam whore.


[12 Points] FlappySocks:

Start a religion. Get tax free status.


[14 Points] pinochetHA:

You are unlikely to get any current specific answers here. Any answer you do get will probably either be conjecture or a method which will get you caught and is dumb (eg. casino). Even if someone here can give you a good idea for laundering you don't want to use the ideas of others because if they are popular it makes profiling you easier.

To launder money all you need is a business or asset which generates money and has an actual real customer base. You just inject your dirty money over time. Oh and pay your tax, don't be that dumbass laundering who gets audited and caught because he was dodging tax.


[7 Points] Razbonez:

Its only 85k man. Pay off your loans directly with the cash, by putting it in money orders, prepaid cards, or use the money to buy investment objects such as gold, monero, guns, computers, art, first edition books, antiques, or to take survival classes.


[8 Points] None:

I got a brand new washing machine for Christmas... Send it to me usps priority and I'll put it through the extended cycle.

Seriously though. Maybe you could try /r/legaladvice ?


[4 Points] DabManGla:

buy a few burgervans


[4 Points] Merolanna:

Declare it on your taxes as income from an illegal source, pay the taxes, cash it out. Provided that you've eliminated all the other really accessible evidence of where you got the money (as in, you didn't save any product for personal use), you should be good. Your tax rate is going to be pretty steep though; federal and state taxes will probably eat a little over half.


[4 Points] nigga_chigga:

Buy a cheap shitty house for thousands. Pay Mexicans cash to fix it up real nice. Sell for more and say you did the work by yourself.

Rinse and reapeat a few times.


[3 Points] sailornasheed:

I've always felt like mail order supplements was the correct answer to this question, especially in the context of DNMs. But then, I've also always felt like mail order supplements was the correct answer to the question of OPSEC, as well. If it works for all those talk-radio guys, it can work for you, too!


[3 Points] opeboyal:

Declare 30k as gambling profits each year on your taxes. Backroom poker games.


[3 Points] Charlie-Luciano:

How the fuck did you get that kind of money and not even out of college?


[3 Points] None:

[removed]


[2 Points] fAint-:

You can buy paysafecards with that money and invest into CS:GO Skins over on OPSkins and when you have the skins on your Steam Account you can trade them for keys and then sell the keys via BTC or PayPal Cash after you made a business account for PayPal.


[2 Points] fasterfind:

It took time to reach that goal, no need to grab it all in a day, right? Create a cash stream that's small enough to not bump your tax bracket.

OR, just work with someone on localbitcoins - they'll gladly swap cash for BTC. Do small amounts over time so it's not risky, but you'll get your cash no problem.


[2 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] Lickagooch:

I have always thought about taking it to the casino, putting it in slots.. don't know if this would work or not?


[1 Points] blakeitrain:

ebooks


[1 Points] poopooopopop:

art


[1 Points] MDAzing:

A popular method in the weed community is to buy some high end glass (mothership type of shit, where its insanely overpriced) and then flip it in like 3 months and pay taxes on the sale


[1 Points] None:

I mean I haven't been caught yet. 30k + Just bring buddies.


[1 Points] None:

Explain please


[1 Points] citizeninsane333:

buy bitcoins with cash (localbitcoins), deposit bitcoins in gambling site. withdraw bitcoins to clean address. sell to fiat. or, personally, I'd keep it in btc.


[1 Points] c0nstant:

Buy an $85k car from craigslist and sell it after you've had a little bit of fun with it


[1 Points] jack19056:

You can get a restaurants or street food stalls to help you. They take cash, so can show extra unrecorded profits, legitimizing your money. They most likely will take some percentage of the total.


[1 Points] Xanny_granny:

In school? At a major one? You could buy and resell shoes or run a shoe/jewelry cleaning service colleges kids like to spend money on dumb shit say you ran a designated driver service


[0 Points] jody_b2016:

for a small amount like that - simple. I am a coin dealer part time and literally there are no rules really, coins are tax free, especially gold coins (not gold bullion bars etc).

Basically, Buy a "collection" in BTC via direct deals - there is subreddits like PM4sale or coins4sale and I would be happy to sell to you gold for BTC. BAsically buy some coins for BTC, then sell them on ebay for legit cash. If you ever get questioned you show receipt for the "coin collection" you bought for 5k after saving up all your money in BTC, you got lucky it had some rare coins in it and you couldn't believe it! so you sold it all on ebay bit by bit for some nice US Dollars son!

I do it all the time, no one questions it, I literally have bought collections for 3k containg 500 coins and some of these coins are worth 1000 a piece!. And its common right... My grandma left me some coins - there were some rarities so I sold them to help pay off student loans. Coins are tax free and super common to be found in your grandparents hand-downs over generations, and therefore no receipt of trade is ever even required if you say that for small time shit like 80k in a year of flipping collections on ebay.

Shit, PM me if you wanna buy some gold coins for a lttle over scrap price, and flog em on ebay. Im a coin dealer and can hook you up with a little receipt and everything, and track your sales on ebay to show how you bought from me, and sold for a profit, and reinvested that profit in more ocins and so on and made yourself a lil tax free coin collection to hang onto instead of sitting on dodgy btc. Got a beautiful rare british set right now for sale thats probs could go on ebay for 3k and Id sell for 2500 in BTC, so after ebay fees you may take a small loss of 50 bucks or so, but you've cleanly laundered 2500 in BTC so its all groovy. I can link Silver scrap coinage by the kilo as well but your best bet tbh is mid range coins from 500 to 1500 a pop as its more common to buy and sell those types. Apologies for throwaway, pm me and we can work with my legit account because as far as I care, i'm a hobbiest coin collector who deals to help raise funds for more coins that I like to buy and I don't care or want to know where your money came from.


[-1 Points] falecf4:

What did you do to get all this cash? Just selling? In person or online?


[-3 Points] None:

[deleted]


[-2 Points] narbilistic:

Go to a casino, buy in play some cash out. Find some friends, pay them and have them write you a check.


[-2 Points] None:

Casino my man