I'm really worried because of the symptoms I've been having when I am sober. I sincerely ask for your advice because I am very desperate for help and worried if I would stay like this forever. I want to feel like a normal person and I can't find anyone in real life to talk about this, and seeing an psychiatrist is not an option as I am financially troubled and I don't want to take anymore drugs.
For past few years, I abused weed, mdma, and acid irresponsibly. There was a point I've been dropping mdma weekly for a few months, and I stayed high on weed all the time all these years.
Back in Janurary I quit all drugs. However, I feel that I am buzzed on weed all the time even though there is no drug in my body and see mild hallucinations, like breathing walls, moving objects (like grass moving when there's no wind blowing), visual snow, and my head and vision feel strange like I am in a dream, my short term memory has been shot. It is also very hard to sleep at night because of all the static vision and feeling that I am buzzed. I would not be concerned when these things happen when I'm fucked up on drugs, but I've been clean for months and my symptoms seem to be staying the same or getting worse. I stayed away from all drugs (even caffeine and alcohol) in hopes of speeding up my recovery.
How much time is needed before I can feel normal again after abusing psychedelic drugs? Will I ever feel normal? Does the HPPD go away and memory become better? Will I ever get out of this dreamy state and vision issues?
I am very ashamed about my irresponsibility and regret what I have done. If you have recovered from symptoms like these or have any advice, please share. You guys are the only source of help that I can find. Thank you.
Depending on your usage of LSD you may, just as I do, have P.V.S. Persistent visual stimulation. Mine has not gone away (going on 5 years of seeing shit like I'm tripping, but havent taken any drugs for at least 3 years). However, they do eventually "calm down" in a sense. It used to be that I could not, for any reason, drive at night because it was so bad. Now, I don't have that issue, but if I look at the sky for a few seconds my haluuhations kick in at full speed. l can say it gets in the way quite often, but l find that I have grown to love my hallucinations.
l must also note that I spent close to a year and a half eating LSD every couple days (and taking a week break every couple weeks). I loved and hated this time of my life.