Barbarossa this is for you and that supposed empty package. This came to mind so I wrote one up.

Edit: here is the link to the post I'm referencing for those of you missing the joke. https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkNetMarkets/comments/3u1ojf/being_threatened_by_a_customer_what_should_i_do/

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? My package was fucking empty and I'll have you know my Aunt is a judge in your fucking county. I've been involved in numerous drug operations and have snitched out more vendors than there were on the Silk Road and Agora combined. I am trained in Bitcoin opsec and I'm not gonna get fucked by a vendor and let them get away with it. That 350 dollars was nothing to me, but I want that shit back. I will wipe you out with favors from my fucking aunt if you don't refund me and reship my original order. Twice. You think you can get away with saying that shit about me trying to scam you? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my fucking connections at the court house and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for my Aunt Faggot. She'll kick your fucking door in and blow your fucking head off with am AK-47. You're gonna be fucking dead kid. I can call my aunt anywhere, anytime, and she will fuck your ass with justice in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with the Constitution. Not only am I still in highschool, but I live at home and my dad keeps a shotgun under every cabinet in our house. I'm trained at calling multiple favors at any given time and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable frown off the face of your head, you little shit. If only you could have known the terror of justice that will rain down upon you from my Aunt, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're refunding and reshipping my order you goddamn idiot. I will call my Aunt and she will furiously wipe her 12 inch dick called "THE LAW" all over you and you will drown in it. You've got 18 hours or your fucking dead, kiddo.


Comments


[10 Points] AUNT_FAGGOT:

YOU BOYS BE QUIET I'M TRYING TO SLEEP


[7 Points] None:

The amount of people who think this is real is interesting.

5/5 laughed hard tho


[5 Points] Convincing:

Well, that escelated quickly.


[4 Points] SpacedTrufflophagus:

I wanna meet Aunt Faggot, she sounds like an interesting character.


[5 Points] powerman15:

Haha good one op.

Lol at the idiots who don't get it


[4 Points] aboutthednm:

slow clap


[3 Points] permatrip420:

Lol I saw the original post for this last night. Ha


[3 Points] None:

I was waiting on this post lmao I knew someone would say somethin bout it


[2 Points] pecrophilyak:

not even ridiculous


[2 Points] GNAR-TheBarGoblin:

Wha...?


[-1 Points] NASBNJ1992:

Let's lay off the bars big dawg.


[-1 Points] iamdnm:

The fact that judges is used in this context and not law enforcment just show how fucked the system in the US is.

Imagine Judge Judy and the similar decide faiths to people..


[-3 Points] None:

if you can trace his ip i don't see why LE couldn't along with every other vendor, so good luck with that slick

edit. can someone explain why this is being downvoted lol

oh its a joke

Sorry i was on 70 mg of valium last night and couldn't tell


[-7 Points] None:

[deleted]