Calikindess, Alpha Bay 2oz THC-infused coconut oil

First, the basics, then subjective about the buying-experience and then an important note about dosing and other cali products.

<b>THE BASICS</b>

Product: 2oz of CaliKindness' 200mg/oz coconut oil

Price: $30 plus $7 for shipping

Order date: 02/15

Ship date: 02/16 (according to USPS)

Arrival Date: 03/07 (I know! What the fuck, but totally USPS, not Cali, Ship date on pack confirms that)

Potency: 10/10 (check narrative section)

The buying experience was perfect, as usual with Cali, select a product, push purchase and cali sends an note acknowledging and then stating when it will ship. I've placed several orders with Cali, so I ordered on a Sunday, knowing I was going out of town Friday, but that wouldn't be a problem because Cali is always so prompt. Sadly Friday rolled around and I didn't have Product, no big deal, I don't need it. But then I got home the following Wednesday, (2/24) and messaged Cali that it hadn't come and could he check tracking. He did, said the tracking didn't register, so I was entitled to a reship. However, in this time, I was really busy with work, travelling, etc, so I never actually logged on to AB. On march 2nd, Cali sent another note asking for my address for a reship. By this time, I had chalked it up as a USPS loss, and I wasn't worried about. I never actually checked my AB messages though. Then yesterday, THE PACK LANDED!!!!! I logged on to AB to thank Cali and saw the messages. Basically, Cali is a man of his word, and I could have scammed for a reship, but that's not me.

tl;dr: USPS shenanigans, Cali is a good guy.

THE PRODUCT Holy Shit guys!?!?!? this stuff needs a warning label. I'm basically THC naive. I haven't smoked in over 10 years, and just got back in to THC with Cali's "Jollier ranchers" (Check my post history for those reviews). Since I'm THC naive, I am generally super cautious about doses. When I read that Cali's jollier ranchers were 50mg, I decided to start with a dose of 1/2 of 1. That didn't do anything, so after some experimenting, I figured out that 2 Jollier ranchers was a solid, 3 hour, "functional" high. and 3 Jollier ranchers put me into a state where I basically didn't want to be around people for about 1 hour, and the total high was about 5 hours.

ok. Cool. So I know my limits, 100mg is a good functional dose, 150 is a good, "getting high" dose.

So I dose the coconut oil, I'm in a cold climate so it arrives hard as a rock (well, a soft rock). It is two ounces, which should be 400mg of THC total, so I decided to dose 25mg, or 1/16th of the container. I wanted to start low, because I can always work my way up, but I was a bit cautious incase this was more potent than the 'Jollier Ranchers'....

I dosed at 2pm, with my final work obligation a conference call from 2:30-3:30PM. basically 20 minutes after i dosed I knew I was in trouble. I was already pretty high, and I knew the come up had just started. I had to speak on my work conference call from 3-3:15, and I made very little sense, I fear (no one called me out, but it was bad).

By 4pm, I couldn't do shit. Extreme auditory perception/hallucinations, I could hear my upstairs neighbors cell phones vibrating when they got a text message, my downstairs neighbors were doing laundry and the washing machine was vibrating my bed, and I was hungry af.

Decided to just catch up on the Walking Dead and goof around on my phone. I had to shut off the TV because I just couldn't follow it by about 4:45PM, and I couldn't do shit on my phone either. I had downloaded Minecraft, Pocket Edition to play with my little nephew over Christmas, and I thought that would be a good thing to do, but I just couldn't handle it.

from 5-8pm I was functionally catatonic, couldn't sleep, but couldn't really move much either. I've since gone back and checked my browser history. I spent a lot of time on r/trashy, r/all, r/tinder and r/cringeanarchy but I have no idea what I was doing there (fortunately I didn't comment).

My intention was to go to the gym around 8:30. But I couldn't get my shit together. I was really fucking hungry though, so I decided to go out into my neighbor hood and find something to eat. at 9pm (7 hours after dosing what should have been 25mg). I stopped at the grocery store, but I couldn't handle my shit, so I walked about a mile to the local pan-asian place to get some noodles and a scallion pancake. Interacting with the cashier was hell, and I felt like it took 45 minutes to order and get my 57 cents in change.

It's now 10:30 (8.5 hours after dosing) and I'm walking home, still having really intense hyper awareness of sound (someone walking 150 feet behind me sounded like they were right next to me) some auditory hallucinations, and I was walking down streets I've known for a decade and halfway down them I would have to stop and question where I was.

By 11:30 I had gotten home, I ate all of the food, and tried to go to sleep. I fell asleep around midnight, but then woke up at 4:30am feeling just slightly stoned, still (14.5 hours after dosing). I sent an 'I'm sick, won't make it' email to the people I had a 10am conference call with, then went back to sleep. I had a 1pm meeting I was planning on walking to (2miles away) but I woke up at 12:30pm after sleeping off the pot hangover and had to pay 20 bucks for a cab.

tl;dr. Calikindness is not fucking around with his coconut oil. Don't dose it based on your experience with his jollier ranchers, you will have a bad time.


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