One Order Can Ruin Your Life - Ordered MDMA, Received Heroin

I apologize for the wall of text but I woke up this morning still logged in, with a notification for a post I don't even remember writing. I obviously need to get this out or I am not going to make it through another day. Fuck OPSEC. I have nothing to live for anyway.

I got turned on to the darknet a few months ago and started looking into making an order. I took all the steps needed. Figured out Tor/Tails. Researched vendors. Bought a new laptop for using on public Wi-Fi. It was exciting times. I was about to make my first order for drugs, off the internet. What a time to be alive. What a great community. What a way to fight back against the oppressive machine that holds us all down. We were doing this. We were stoked.

LandedGypsie was our guy. Made the order. Everything went off without a hitch. No delays from the postal strike. No cops. Nothing. Just a package in the mail and the best night of my life. We got too high and couldn't even leave the house. But that was perfect. We just laid around. High as fuck. Talking about life. Laughing. Touching. Kissing. Fucking. We were one and we knew it. Nothing could ever separate us.

I thought we hit the jackpot. Never again would I have to worry about where we got our drugs, what we were getting or who we were getting it from. So I made a second order. What could go wrong?

The pack landed last Friday before I went to work. I left it sitting in the kitchen and headed out with an extra little spring in my step. It was gonna be another great night. I got a call from my girlfriend a couple hours before I was done. She was drunk. Very drunk. And found the pack. She was so excited. She kept telling me she couldn't wait. I told her I would be done soon and she promised me she'd see me soon and we were gonna party. "I love you." "I love you more." And that was it. That was the last time I ever spoke with her.

The rest is still just a blur. I had never seen a dead body before. Fuck, I still don't know if I have. All I knew is that, when I got home, she was on the kitchen floor and unresponsive. I shook her. Hard. So hard. I yelled. Screamed. Slapped her. Nothing. She was heavy. Like, fucking heavy. We had play fought plenty of times and I could lift her up no problem. But I could barely move her. I called an ambulance and started flipping the fuck out. Running around the house, cleaning up what I could, flushing drugs, hiding the packaging in the neighbour's garbage. All while yelling at her to just please fucking talk to me.

The ambulance showed up. The cops showed up. Questions started. "Who is she?" "How do you know her?" "What drugs have you done tonight?" "What time did you do the drugs?" and on and on. I hardly remember what I said to anyone. I just wanted to follow her to the hospital. But no one wanted me there. Her family showed up. They were pissed. With good reason. I had killed their daughter. I wasn't allowed to see her and the cops had a million more questions for me anyway. They weren't so bad the first night. But they got worse.

The whole last week has been a blur of the same. Everyday basically. Wake up. Remember the hell that I'm in. Look at messages from people that used to be close to me. Friends. Family. All gone now. All blaming me for what happened. Have you talked to the cops yet? Because you will. They find some reason to come around or haul you in. Every day. Today will be no different. Have you paced yet? You're probably gonna want to get on early start on that since there is no fucking way you can go in to work with this looming over you. Can't exactly tell your boss that you can't come in because you killed your girlfriend. You can make it to the end of the street to get beer man. You need to at least do that. Over and over and over. Everyday.

I admitted to the cops that I knew she had drugs. But I didn't know where she got them. I said she was the one who always bought them and I never asked where. They weren't buying it. They just kept asking about how long we had been using opiates. I kept telling them never. They would call me a liar. Ask me how long I'd been selling. Do we have needles? On and on. I eventually told them I flushed the drugs in a panic. They weren't happy. I will be doing some time for that for sure. I've cried a lot this week but the worst was fucking sobbing while they looked all over my body for needle marks and made one of their own to test my blood. They wanted MY blood because they had the toxicology report. It was heroin. Nothing in her system but heroin and alcohol. And they "will be seeing me soon enough when my results come back positive".

Her family won't talk to me. Except when they need to lash out and tell me what a terrible person I am for killing their daughter. My family won't talk to me. Except to tell me that "rehab is already paid for. All you have to do is say yes." Because obviously I'm a junkie. And a drug dealer. And a murderer.

Yesterday was the funeral. I was not welcome. The woman I loved, the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with, is dead. Rotting in the ground and I never got to tell her how sorry I am. How much I loved her. How much it hurts to be here without her. I woke up in a puddle of puke this morning, so hungover I could barely see. On the kitchen floor. Where she was.

I keep wanting to write WALLS AND WALLS of angry text to LG. "Fuck you. You killed her! Not me!" He can claim all he wants that it wasn't his heroin, that she was a closet junkie, that he keeps records and KNOWS it wasn't a misship. But I know her, and I know she wasn't a junkie. I found her journal and everything was in it. Our plans for the future, every bitch that looked at her the wrong way at work, every time her "time of the month" started, even the time she cheated on me. All of it is in there and absolutely no mention of doing drugs without me.

But I know I'm just looking for someone to blame. Fuck, I've made her out to be the one to blame more times than I can count. Why didn't she listen to me? Why did she have to be so drunk? She'd still be alive if she didn't fuck around. But it was me. I made the order. I left it out. I killed her. I ended her life. And in doing so, ended mine. Now I'm just a sad man with nothing sobbing in a fucking Starbucks.

I have no job. No friends. No family. No hope. I'll be going to jail for sure. I can't afford a lawyer. And I somehow make too much for legal aid. No one will help me. I don't even think they should.

tl;dr There is a dark side to the darknet. It can ruin your life like it ruined mine. Be careful with what you're doing. It's not just your life on the line. One order can change everything.


Comments


[75 Points] None:

This sounds a lot like the anti-drug stories LE used to tell when they visited my junior high to tell us how to be good productive citizens. Just saying.


[60 Points] MDMangel:

This seems like propaganda OP. I've looked over your account history and it looks like what /u/Vendor_BBMC had called a "wheel-barrow" account. A bunch of small comments all an effort to give the account 'some' substance. This post looks like a proffesional writer wrote it (dnm jobs?) and all of your other comments and post are FOUR word statements. Most say "nice;)-". Your past post have everything to do with this. Like your whole account only leads up to this moment. There is nothing else about anything in there except this.

Fuck OPSEC. I have nothing to live for anyway.

If this is the case, and a sure fire way for me to believe you and many others I'm sure, would be to give the mods something. A name, an article, obituary. SOMETHING. PM one of the mods with something. If not I'll assume that this is either a direct attack on LandedGypsie by a competitor or LE propaganda!


[34 Points] jjcooli0h:

You're saying LG sent you $210 worth of heroin instead of $40 worth of brown rock MDMA which doesn't look anything like heroin?

Hmm...I'm hesitant to call bullshit on something of this magnitude - so I'm not saying that. But I think odds are that your girlfriend was fucking around with H unbeknownst to you. It doesn't make it any less sad, but still, put the blame where it belongs, and don't go overboard on being totally "sure" she wasn't involved with the drug behind your back. Canada has pretty bad heroin issues (mainly because a lot of it is fentanyl laced or just straight fentanyl).

 

EDIT searched Canadian death notices db (where OP's post history indicates that he lives) and unless OP's girlfriend was a 16 year old girl with a history of opiate abuse, a homeless elderly women near Alaska, or was a dude, then I can see no matching deaths (on the purported date given by the OP anyways). While I am merely reporting what I have (not) found; absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence, but on the flip side there's not much reason to believe OP's afterschool-special-titled post either.


[34 Points] None:

This is an obvious troll.


[13 Points] None:

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[12 Points] booobafeet:

what. the. fuck. i can't even. so sorry man. :(


[12 Points] None:

[removed]


[11 Points] NewBarbarian_:

10/10 would read again total bullshit story.


[10 Points] OnionViking:

I'm sure this must be a very hard time for you. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a loved one in this manner. Please know that it is not your fault. Thins may seem dark right now but you are loved. People grieve in many different ways and anger is definitely one of them. You are strong and can make it through this. My thoughts are with you. Peace and love, friend.

In the meantime, this resource may be of use to you. Stay safe.


[9 Points] blue_balls_3:

See boys & girls, this is what happens when you do not test the drugs you buy from any market.


[9 Points] Antrax215:

Man, im really sorry for what happened, but this story is an example of the importance of testing drugs.

This is not your fault, you never killed her. do not feel guilty.


[9 Points] None:

[deleted]


[8 Points] None:

Why the hell would he intentionally send heroin instead of MDMA when heroin is 4 times the price? And your girlfriend literally can't tell the difference between two substances that don't look anything alike?


[8 Points] fuckmepelican:

If OP is telling the truth, I am very sorry for your loss and I wish the absolute best for you. Nothing about this story is fair or right and I'm sorry about this situation.

My first reaction after reading this was to check your post history. I notice that you use a lot of the same mannerisms and exclamation points, and with the way this community is, I could easily see this post being fake but there isn't really much concrete evidence or obvious points to say that it didn't happen. Other than the lack of evidence to the contrary. That being said, if you were trying to slander a vendor I could easily come up with a few better and more effective ways to do that, this story doesn't really ruin a vendor's reputation. If someone were to go through this effort of trying to hurt business for a vendor, it would be better to do so through faked tests or something.


[7 Points] PM_ME_YOUR_YOGA_BUTT:

If you're stupid enough to not lawyer up and continue to talk to the police, you're retarded.


[6 Points] LandedGypsie:

This is getting ridiculous. He says his girlfriends "nasal cavity" was completely clogged. Oh really? Why are you sniffing MDMA? Look at his other order from us in his post history. They swallowed it. ALSO- they did a gram between the two of them for their first time doing MDMA! (Sure sounds responsible). Why would your girlfriend sniff this second order? Does this make any sense to anyone? Yes people sniff MDMA but read the post history, they parachuted it the first time..there's no way she would of sniffed it the second time..as someone who's only done MDMA once it makes no sense. Also why couldn't she wait? Sounds a little fishy no?

Another thing that seemed odd was from the dates he gave us, it means his order took 18 days for within Canada. Canada post might be bad, but definitely not that bad. Something just seems completely off with this.

Why would this be your fault? No one will talk to you? Not allowed at her funeral? Everyone hates you? WTF are you 16? Hypothetically speaking, she did a drug and it's magically your fault? (I'm gonna play along here and pretend you're telling the truth- which you're not)

We also brought up the fact that maybe she was doing things behind your back..it's not that uncommon or far fetched.

This story is bullshit and everyone knows it. Just a FYI, we sort all our orders by product. So we process all the MDMA orders first, pack them, then put away the MDMA -change equipment/gloves then go to the process the next drug(which is kept in different rooms). Each drug is processed SEPARATELY to avoid contamination and for reasons exactly like this! We also keep immaculate records of our products. We triple checked everything and if we did infact send the wrong product, our stock wouldn't add up and everything would be off, which isn't the case. WE ALSO LABEL OUR BAGS

According to OPs story to us, he sent a message to us today saying "When the results come back for heroin, the cops will want to talk to me again". Wait what, what do you mean WHEN? The results haven't come back yet? Yeah sure ok. Yet a couple days ago he told us the results came back already.

There have been tons of shills lately coming at us hard and anyone who's been keeping up with this sub knows this.

Since you clearly don't care about OPSEC(as you stated in your post) - please post any proof to the mods. An article- obituary, Facebook...I'm sure she has Facebook which if this happened people would be writing on her wall. You don't have to post it publicly, but post it to the mods.

Maybe I'm being a little aggressive but this is a huge accusation.

We have been in constant contact with OP through the markets and have been reassuring, polite, kind. The fact this is now posted on Reddit makes it even more fishy.


[5 Points] None:

[deleted]

What is this?


[5 Points] None:

I feel for you but honestly how can you even mistake H for MDMA. Smell, look and taste is all different.

Shill as fuck tbh


[4 Points] None:

Something doesn't sound right about this. First of all, you wouldn't lose your whole social circle because your gf was drunk and overdosed on drugs. That doesn't make sense. You didn't do it. Second of all.... how does one ingest mama then all of a sudden get heroin, and think it's mdma then subsequently OD on it. None of this is your fault yet EVERYONE hates you? Sounds like she was using heroin behind your back... if this story is even true.... sorry for your loss though


[5 Points] MrCrappy57:

Nice work of fiction. Remember the scene in Pulp Fiction where Mia Wallace mistakes heroin for coke?


[4 Points] jkick365:

Holy cow man. Cried for you for a while. Don't blame yourself there's nothing you could have done man. Things will begin to get better in time. Godspeed and sending love your way.


[2 Points] None:

[deleted]


[2 Points] mejuwi1:

Fuck. This is why I don't use vendors who sell "everything". Vendors selling LSD and MDMA are fine. Cannabis too.

If I want Heroin (I don't really...) I'd choose a guy specializing in only that, rather than an one stop store.


[2 Points] dragon_fiesta:

How do you get those things mixed up?


[2 Points] None:

[deleted]


[2 Points] Thr0wMeAway666:

Sorry


[2 Points] None:

[removed]


[2 Points] None:

[removed]


[2 Points] SyrupSIppinXannyPop:

And OP is nowhere to be found.


[2 Points] None:

[removed]


[2 Points] thatskank:

If I left a gun sitting out on a table and my gf called me up all drunk and excited about a new single stack glock 45, then I came home to her lying dead on floor with hole in her head, I definitely would not be blaming myself for buying the gun and leaving it out.


[1 Points] Solid716:

I ordered a sample of weed last week and there was a tab of LSD in it...


[1 Points] Tweek-er_Timmy:

my god...that is fucking horriable. aw my i,m sorry fer your loss. Do not listen to her family right now, ya got to let the words run off ya. you know the truth, an a handful of us here....

this is not ur fault.

i think most of us do know were most of the blame should go, weather or not he,ll respond here, always did before. well gypise i hate to say it but vending herion comes with risk like this, (should of stuck to meth.)

someone needs to step up an take responsabilty, cough (landed gypise)

OP hang in there man, i know you feel like it will never get better. it may not fer a long time. this will be the hardest time of your life kid. i been through alot of hardtimes myself, ill talk with ya if ya want. ya dont have to be shy w/ me. ive been in some low places. please just give it time, dont do nothing drastic. hit me up

ya need some cash to help with anything? we all should donate set something up fer ya here.


[1 Points] fuckmepelican:

If OP is telling the truth, I am very sorry for your loss and I wish the absolute best for you. Nothing about this story is fair or right and I'm sorry about this situation.

My first reaction after reading this was to check your post history. I notice that you use a lot of the same mannerisms and exclamation points, and with the way this community is, I could easily see this post being fake but there isn't really much concrete evidence or obvious points to say that it didn't happen. Other than the lack of evidence to the contrary. That being said, if you were trying to slander a vendor I could easily come up with a few better and more effective ways to do that, this story doesn't really ruin a vendor's reputation. If someone were to go through this effort of trying to hurt business for a vendor, it would be better to do so through faked tests or something.


[1 Points] qpquestion:

did she eat the heroin like it was mdma or did you guys snort the mdma the 1st time? if the mdma was snorted the 1st time then how much did she have? if she got out .1 of heroin and snorted it thinkin it was mdma then thats a normal sized stamp bag and a common 1st dose most places. and if you guys ate the mdma the 1st time and she ate the heroin then im definitely calling bullshit. if its true then im sorry im such a dick and im sure you are going through absolute hell but this sounds really shilly to me and i just dont buy it


[1 Points] anon1moos:

Don't feed the trolls


[1 Points] Dial595:

Could be fake, could be true. I also had smack shipped instead of mdma once. I was happy, but i knew it was H and how to Dose it


[1 Points] None:

OP, which market did you make this order from, and what was your account name?


[1 Points] Demty:

Who leaves their pack just sitting around. So many problems with this post I call BS


[1 Points] darienrude_dankstorm:

reads like a crappy /r/nosleep post, i'm not buying it.


[1 Points] bodevelho:

if they don't find any opiates in your blood test, wouldn't that back your statement, about her being the one that bought and did the drugs?

I don't think you can be accused of anything if they only find opiates on her blood.. unless of course you already admitted guilt.. But yeh it's a fucked up situation.. when you do drugs with other people your really need to think responsible specially with opiates... looking back at my life I had a lot of situations that could end wrong and I only use stimulants so yeh... I really felt bad reading your story I really hope you can avoid any charges..

Bottom line you gotta understand something you might feel like shit right now and you are probably feeling that it's all your fault.. but remember this.. you didn't force her do do any drugs... everyone should be responsible for their own, she was drunk.. again it's not your fault... mixing alcohol with opiates is really the worst combo you can do.. even when someone takes mdma it's not advisable to be drunk at alll.. and finally you order mdma and the vendor got it wrong and send the wrong package.. and finally why would she take the damn mdma alone before you coming in couldn't she wait for you? I being a little cold on my comments.. but my opinion is that it was not your fault.. this was a series of unfortunate events that were out of your control and that all summed up killed her.. you didn't do anything wrong you just made an order.. just like anyone else on this sub.. and I don't think anyone here feels like murders just cause we made an order on a market...

This should really be a reality check for anyone that share drugs with anyone friend/family/gf whatever... always do allergy tests before using.. always use scales... test with reagents kits if you hve any.. and don't let your own drugs being opened by anyone else but you..

Keep us updated.. try to get a lawyer, I know you said you don't have money.. ask for your family this is really important and probably will be a huge difference on how this will unfold.


[1 Points] None:

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[1 Points] EastOaklandCase_Boys:

Why would you waste time to write this bullshit story?? I'm assuming your "girlfriend" took the MDMA orally. Heroin has a oral bioavailability of 35%, so if she took a 100mg it wouldn't be a fatal dose. Also, if taken orally the onset takes 60-90 minutes, it's effects are not instant like injecting. With that being said, even if she did 200mg orally she would have been alive by the time you got back from work.. Also, how can you mistake the look of MDMA and heroin, especially since this is your SECOND time ordering from LG??? Your story just doesn't add up, lol GTFO weirdo!


[1 Points] chefjoesb:

Anyone page /u/landedgypsie yet?


[0 Points] ZuuZap:

She couldn't wait. Sounds like an addict to me.


[0 Points] tweakingpelicant:

lg is a stand up guy

this screams competitor


[0 Points] None:

[removed]


[-1 Points] None:

[removed]


[-1 Points] Mtat78:

Without reading wall of text, what is the problem exactly? You inject your MDMA? If not, why are you so bothered about eating 250mg heroin?


[-4 Points] whatsDNMs:

I want to cry reading this. Stay strong man


[-4 Points] Lucid_Enemy:

LG montfort'd you.... That's fucked up I'm so sorry this happened to you :(