How do I explain 6k deposited in bank account monthly for coinbase payments?

I never thought I'd ever say this, but I am a "drug dealer". I sell locally and order most all my product from darknet markets. I sell mostly cannabis and cocaine, but occasionally flip shrooms and mdma aswell.. anyway, I've run into a dilema. I'm literally getting big enough to the point where I'm having to spend anywhere from $6,000-8,000+ a month (sometimes more) in just getting new product. I get MOST of my bitcoins from coinbase and tumble them, however I use localbitcoins alot.

This is my problem: Every freakin week I'm having to deposit like 2k in cash via ATMs at my bank. I really don't have a real job and I think this might get starting to look suspicious. How do I explain all this money coming in? It's not like I they have crooked accountants listed on craigslist to make all this clean for me. Any ideas/suggestions?


Comments


[91 Points] UndefinedExperience:

I think this might get starting to look suspicious. How do I explain all this money coming in?

You think? You do not have a job, no checks from doing side work...You have nothing to explain, you clearly didn't think this through. I hate to say it but you need to stop dealing until you figure a way of laundering your money and making it taxable.


[71 Points] AdviceGiverBro:

Okay I suggest you listen to me. I made my first reddit account ever to respond specifically to your post. I am a semi retired dealer. I sold off and on for 7 years and I cleared 70 grand profit in 2009. I quit dealing because of various reasons, but mainly fear of getting caught.

So without further adieu, I want to tell you that you are in for a world of shit if you don't tighten the fuck up. There have been a variety of responses, but they basically can be summed up in two categories. Your choices are either A) keep the money off the record as cash or B) launder the money. We will explore these options in a minute, but first I'd like to let you know about option C) that you are doing.

Option C) is putting your illegal income on the books and not paying taxes on it. Your deposits are recorded, and it is highly likely that the IRS will find out about it. Tellers are supposed to pay attention to that shit. Your out comes will include owing the IRS a shit ton of money, and/or an investigation in to your lifestyle. You could get popped for tax evasion or drug dealing or other things. If you continue going to the bank with wads of cash and not paying taxes on it, you will get fucked. You might even still get fucked now on that money and have to account for it down the line. There isn't a single person in this thread that has told you what you are doing is a good idea. You need to stop immediately. That being said, if you want to remain the low hanging fruit because you want to save 50 bucks on a bitcoin, go for it. Have fun in jail. You are a complete and total fucking idiot if you continue down this path.

So lets move on to options that might prolong your freedom. Lets first take a look at keeping the money off the books.

Option A) is to not put that money in a bank account. Never let that money near anywhere that gets audited. I highly suggest paying a little higher rate to buy bitcoins anonymously. You can buy them in person with cash, you can do cash in mail, western union is pretty safe too just do multiple purchases under 2000 rather than one 6000-8000 dollar purchase (so they won't report it). All of your money will be hidden from the IRS and it won't come back to haunt you this way. I will say though, you don't have a real job so there is a small chance you will get asked what pays your rent and bills. Since you are small time, I highly suggest getting a job that's easy and doesn't pay much. Live in a modest place, and have your cash for extra comfort. Keep that money out of the bank, and don't get caught selling drugs. The idea of a restaurant job and claiming some as tips isn't a bad idea (even though that falls under option b.) That could help you justify buying a new car or something.

Option B) is to launder your money. I don't think this is even worth explaining to you because you will probably be caught before you get a business set up, plus you don't have enough money to justify paying the taxes on it. Plus, if you think 50 bucks on a bitcoin is a large mark up, wait till you see what taxes are on a business. If you wanted to do it, for a small timer, a Tshirt business or hotdog stand or something would be a good way to do it. That being said, you will be running a business and selling drugs at the same time. There is a good chance that you won't succeed in this. You are not experienced enough. You could try and launder some at a casino but they pay attention to that sort of stuff. Also, that won't explain how you stay paying your bills. It will just explain a portion of money.

Don't be a fucking dumbass kid. Pick option A, that way you don't fucking go to prison. If you need help laundering a bit here and there for a car or whatever, then that's doable, but if you continue down the road you are goin, you will end up owing the IRS a ton of money and probably going to prison. Better you than me though. Tighten the fuck up.


[36 Points] None:

Sounds to me like an assfucking by the IRS is inevitable at this point. Prepare your anus, OP.


[29 Points] throwawaysr888:

i bet you have already raised red flags if you are depositing all that cash then immediately spending it on coins. stop doing that


[14 Points] None:

[deleted]


[8 Points] galaxyandspace:

If the ask questions, claim to be a freelance programmer that works only for BTCs, and has the need to cash them and store some money in savings...


[6 Points] adlercreutz:

You need a strawperson! Use the strawperson's bank account to do your business.


[9 Points] Rastafaerie:

Become a localbitcoins seller. That would explain why you are constantly exchanging between cash and bitcoins and is legitimate, taxable income.


[7 Points] Cashin-out:

Damn dude. I suggest you invest in a nice lock suit case and start burying extra proceeds. That way by the time they come get you on the taxes and possible criminal charges. You can do your bit. And get out with some good money.


[6 Points] -FreewayRickRoss:

Use localbitcoins and buy with cash.

Also, who are you sourcing cocaine from and what quantity per order? I'm really looking to get some.


[7 Points] None:

Use the cash to do a local btc trade to re-up, keep the rest for grocery/daily stuff, until you figure out a better laundering plan.


[4 Points] None:

[deleted]


[3 Points] Drugged-up:

Buy a burger van or some type of mobile business pay taxes do the tax returns get a business account and run the money through that way or just do cash for bitcoins there's always away


[3 Points] jimisiders:

OP, I think you are in high school. You should stop dealing right away, take your profits, go to college, and enjoy the rest of your life.


[3 Points] usonazty:

this is like the collection of misinformation to the power of 5.


[3 Points] None:

Can we get a reoccurring thread on you for the next year or so? I really want to see your story in the long run, but more specifically, more dramatic irony where you think you are succeeding where we, the readers, know the feds are onto you all along.

In all seriousness, stahhhp. Please, I was just joking. I don't want to see you fucked.


[2 Points] None:

Start buying in cash large amounts on lbc stop using the banks and NOT coinbase


[2 Points] Sluisifer:

It's nice that your business is growing, but you've got to learn a lot, and quickly, if you want to stick around. You're taking risks that will catch up to you very soon. Be safe.


[2 Points] None:

Large amounts I believe over 9k are reported to the Irs. Get a business license if you can. Then setup a business account with the bank. They will give you account slips and deposit bags. Make daily deposits at the night deposit boxes. It will be more professional in their eyes and won't raise any flags. Now, evading the IRS on tax evasion is a diff story, especially since you don't have a job on paper.


[2 Points] mattarse:

You're asking a random group of people to give you advice on how to launder money. Not saying you shouldn't look for advice - but my advice would be to corroborate anything you're told here with other sources. If someone advises you with a specific number - look up and make sure that number is correct. For example someone below stated they think banks need to report deposits of $9000. Well that's wrong, they are required to report anything over $10000, as is any business. Breaking transactions into smaller amounts to evade this requirement is also illegal, this page has info on structuring.
Good luck.


[2 Points] sharpshooter789:

Your bank probably already filed paperwork for suspicious activity. You should quit making deposits like that immediately.


[2 Points] 666fun:

For Christ sakes stop running your money through banks. Don't buy your coins through coinbase either. You're a drug fucking dealer. If your re supplies are on Dmn's that'd fine, but take the cash you earned and buy your bitcoins with it from someone in localbitcoins.

It's one thing for a buyer to get their coins, a few hundred dollars worth, from coinbase, but an unemployed drug dealer depositing cash at ATMs and buying thousands worth of bitcoins regularly is a p whole other story.

I think drug dealing and a life of crime is outside of your scope. Hang up your boots now, pray that if you were on anyone's radar that you slip off of it in the future, and go get youself a day job

Sorry if this is harsh, but your post is both alarming and idiotic. No "dealer" should ver be putting themselves in that sort of situation.


[2 Points] Dokturigs:

Open a business at a mall or farmer's market or something. Something cheapish per month. Sell smoothies or something. fudge the books a bit. Hire some people not in the know about this shit.


[2 Points] kschneezy:

great discussion here. Now I feel like an idiot for purchasing 5k worth of bitcoins on my bank account for someone that gave me a 50$ tip


[2 Points] None:

Nobody has mentioned a bitcoin ATM

This site has a map of known ATMs http://bitcoinatmmap.com/

or

I could imagine you opening a kiosk in the mall or something. Offer to sell BTC for cash as a legitimate business. When times are slow, just use your own cash and sell john q. fakename (you) some BTC. You could make a lot of money with this business if you can pitch bitcoin as a good investment. Just print them some paper wallets or hand out flash drives. Show them graphs of price bubbles, tell stories of self made millionaires, people will eat that shit up. All the while you are moving huge amounts back and forth legitimately. Think about it.


[1 Points] fuckYouBuddy99:

Find a site that takes cash deposits.


[1 Points] None:

Sounds like your at the point you need an LLC and a legit front business


[1 Points] semi-legit-business:

Can you get your regular customers on board with paying in bitcoin? You could offer a discount that is a bit less than what it costs you to convert it, so you come out ahead.

Once you've got them on board, you could get some of them to help you by buying the drugs, plus some cash, then paying the drug price plus the cash amount. Kind of like offering a 'cash back' option at the grocery store.


[1 Points] volatilepointer:

Stop immediately.


[1 Points] None:

Open a business account with your bank. Say you've already started business and are shifting a lot of cash amounts, and would like a business account to seperate this from your personal life, for tax reasons. You can cash into the business account every week without raising flags because your business (computing, IT repair, sweet shop, dildo seller) deals with cash sales only


[1 Points] Trappy_Pandora:

You should pay taxes on your profits, and make some shit up as to what you do, that way you won't be in trouble with any government agency.


[1 Points] aknutty:

Mycelium wallet


[1 Points] None:

Hasn't breaking bad taught you anything? Car Wash to launder that money...


[1 Points] None:

[deleted]


[1 Points] FameOverFortune:

Call my dude Doug Wilson, he is a CPA for Agrestic, he can hook you up.


[1 Points] mattarse:

One small idea I haven't seen mentioned is to try to get some of your customers to pay you via bitcoin to an anonymous btc address that you then use to buy as much of our supply as possible.


[1 Points] FlexForSex:

Is there an amount of money that one could deposit into the bank and not raise suspicion, especially if you're only using it to buy bitcoins?


[1 Points] totric:

I know this would make you less money but, you could find a good connect locally to you so you could deal in all cash, maybe a grower or something you know.


[1 Points] tules:

Couldn't you just keep it in bitcoin and live off the bitcoin? Pretty sure that's possible these days. If you need small amounts of cash then exchange only what you need. Try get your landlord to accept bitcoin.


[1 Points] jabbercocky:

For cash flow needs (money used in the course of business): prepaid debit cards.

For savings: rent out a big safe deposit box at a banking institution where you don't have any accounts whatsoever. (Also, pick a bank where there's a lot of foot traffic so you don't stand out as much.) Keep the excess cash in there (this is a felony in most places, but hey, so is most of what you're doing anyway).

This way everything is completely off the books.


[1 Points] jasnlcas:

you cant find some one to buy bitcoins for cash? even if you pay a markup?


[1 Points] miketdvick:

They wont ask


[1 Points] c0derx:

Mining, say you are mining bitcoin, buy a 1.2G/hs miner, (accountants don't know the difference) and just say you are getting X amount of coin from mining and you sell them online through various sources.

You can also say you day trade which is why sometimes you are withdrawing and spending that money.


[1 Points] TheChadicus:

"I'm unemployed and am making roughly twice what the average employed American makes per month! Is there anything to worry about?"


[1 Points] catechlism9854:

Get a part time job as a waiter and slowly file "drug money" as "tip money"


[1 Points] timotiyong:

Don't use any bank or credit card or ATM. If you need bitcoins, buy for cash (lot of people selling on Localbitcoins) or buy a very fast ASIC miner and mine your coins yourself.


[1 Points] Alpheus411:

Laser tag!


[0 Points] Frit003:

A temporary fix would be to at least open a few more bank accounts and get that cash spread out.


[1 Points] lancypancy:

Better call saul


[0 Points] amazingsammy:

A lot of people get paid in cash, so I don't think you have anything to worry about, but you should take some steps to protect yourself. Stop making those kinds of deposits to your personal account, just in case. Get an LLC in your state or elsewhere and a tax id number from the IRS. The best place to file an LLC is New Mexico.

Tell EVERYONE that you're in the business of "consulting," and get a cheap website for your business that talks about it. You can steal content from almost anywhere, or even copy another site wholesale. Nobody will care. Just change the name and address on it, and make sure the contact form works. If you don't maintain it, all the better.

From there, use your tax id number and state paperwork to get a corporate checking account for your LLC at the bank. They're going to want to talk about your business, it's part of the interview process. Watch some videos on whatever kind of consulting you do, and be technical when they ask about it. Direct them to your website, and talk about how proud of it you are. It doesn't matter what the site looks like. Their eyes will glaze over. At that point, you're home free.

You're initial deposit should be around $3,000, and it should be in the form of a $2,500 money order (or check of some kind), and about $500 in cash.

Takes about half an hour to set up one of these accounts. Don't get nervous. Nobody calls the cops for this kind of thing unless you look suspicious. Wear jeans and a button down shirt to the bank.

Now, you have an account for your consulting company. Consulting companies regularly make cash deposits for thousands of dollars.

Now, you can throw away your state paperwork if you want to (but I wouldn't), and enjoy the benefits of having a legal business account.


[0 Points] SethWooten:

Have you considered moving out of the country?


[0 Points] aristarch:

As long as you don't exceed $9,999 a month or in one deposit you are ok. If the IRS asks all of the money was anonymous monetary gifts. Or a teller submitted a Submission Activity Report because you look like a dealer.


[-1 Points] usonazty:

what are you talking about? you buy bitcoins and sell them, right? right. nothing to explain.

and 6k a month cash is nothing. when i was active in a particular scene, i deposited 15k in cash a month routinely, at one bank.

banks operate under strict rules; don't deposit more than 10k at once and you'll be fine.

but why don't you just open more accounts?