Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: blahftw on April 16, 2012, 12:39 am
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i recently ordered a gram of mxe, from a very good vendor here on the road. liked it so much, i ordered a second gram, and friday night i really pushed the envelope, and took a stupid high dose. got settled in on the come up, watching the latest tron film. legacy or whatever.
well, after the peek started, the only way i know how to describe what i felt, is that i turned into a ball of rubber, that expanded and contracted as it bounced around the universe. very many problems in my life, that i had no idea what i was going to fix, came into review. at one point, the idea of suicide crossed my mind,which isn't uncommon for me. not that i ever would, but the thought does frequent my mind. at this point, i realized i really had to piss,, so i stumbled to the bathroom. as my urine touched the water in the bowl, the water elemental spirit told me not to kill myself, to keep doing drugs, that everything would soon make sense. shortly there after, the trip took a step down in intensity.
at this point, i was sitting in the dark, with just faint lights from various electronic devices in the room. sacred geometry became clear, and a visual wormhole appeared, and i began to travel through the vortex, toward the geomtrical object that kept expanding and contracting at the end of the tunnel. i began to reflect on the trip as a whole, as well as the problems in my life. a plan became clear to me, on how to fix my problems, and other issues of the human condition was revealed to me.
saturday, i went to visit a couple of friends,and one wanted a sample. so, i was trip sitting, giving him a much smaller dose than i had taken, because it was just so heavy of an experience. he had similar results. many of his issues became clear as i drove him around, and as he started his comedown i dropped him off.
while we were driving around, i ran into several old friends, that i needed to see. fix issues we have had in the past, and reconnect. even after i came down, i was,and still am much more in tune with the universal powers that be, and my life is fixing itself.
all in all, i find this substance to be very valuable as a spiritual tool. it carried me through the ego death fear, that has kept me from tripping lsd or mushrooms for years. ecstasy has never caused ego death syndrome for me, and for a long time i couldn't find it in my location. so i drank, a lot.
but, to sum it up, this is a very beautiful substance, and i recommend it to anyone. it's a shame the u.k. is going to ban it,knowing the u.s. will then add it to the analogue act. i will be ordering this in quantity very soon, as soon as i can afford to.
that's my expierence. has anyone else felt this way, and if not, what did it do for you?
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I also bought a gram recently and have only had a small dose of 25mg but honestly don't remember much of the experience and didn't experience any afterglow.
Anyways, I've been having very troubling thoughts and suicidal ideation for about a month now and was hoping MXE could help me. How big of a dose would you recommend to alleviate these suicidal thoughts?
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I wrote up a similar report, don't know if you read it or not. Although I do feel like my trip was stronger than what you have described but there are definitely similarities.
I try not to go introvert as much as possible, which is generally difficult when tripping, especially if you're already an introverted person sober. But when I do, and I usually do, unless I can ditch the ego first, this tends to make me feel horrible and I can be very self destructive. I once conjured up a gremlin inside my head whilst shrooming which I felt was ripping my brain to shreds.
My MXE trip was one of the strongest psychedelic experiences I've ever had and I'm no noob to tripping, but I am not one to push the limits as I've been close to the edge and it's scary.
Also I've come to realize that my Latent Inhibition is quite low and psychs definitely tip me into the deep end. They're good once in a blue moon but I rarely enjoy them.
They're are learning tool in my eyes to be treated with much respect and they tend to find you when you need them, at least in my case. :D
As for the suicidal thoughts, I do have them quite often too, especially when I can't sleep and I'm left in a dark room with nothing but my evil mind. But I figure death is permanent and inevitable and what's the point in rushing the inevitable. I'd also want to take out everyone I hate before taking myself out. Watch "God Bless America" for inspiration, not that, that should really be encouraged... but fuck that, do it. This is again the "dark net".
ma 2 cents, mo fukas... poice!
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yeah, there was definately more to the trip, that i left out of the report. some of it was either too personal, or i couldn't describe without sounding completely insane. tethering back to reality through a stream of piss,, just long enough for ths water elemental spirit to comfort me sounds crazy enough.
i took roughly 200mg. but again, i stress this is a high dose. i'm not saying i recommend this much. if you started with around 25mg, next time try slightly more, and see how that feels. this wasn't my first dose, and i started much lower. this was just the most important trip on it so far.
i tend to go overboard, and push the envelope. i feel i was ok, i never got "the fear" as hunter so adequately put it. but this was very useful for me. i think it helped me past the wall of ego death, without giving me "the fear" like lsd and mushrooms always seem to do now. i am curious if mushrooms would be ok to eat now, but to be honest, i really want some mescaline.
but to all, trip responsibly. don't push the envelope alone, unless you are a well seasoned psychonaut, and it's your thing. i always recommend an expierenced trip sitter when bending your psyche. and some people don't mind playing that roll, so don't be afraid to ask. usually after i come back from an intense bender, i'll go play mad doser, and dose a couple people, and stick around to trip sit.
be careful, be safe, and explore the love the universe has to offer.
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Spent a Night using 4-mec, and Methylone. Redose after Redose. lots of Streaming XXX had to see every girl in every position. started around 9pm was still going at it 10AM.
I Was tired, but I cant sleep in the day. I thought MXE might put me to sleep. I eye balled two 40mgs and hit them both. WOW!!! I was a green spec and I was floating all over the world, oh my god. I came to after this incredibly colorful, detailed drug induced dream the computer screen was totally disproportionate, Some Letters where giants others where small on the same line. I could not successfully type any passwords, I had to use the guest account. My best Green client calls for 2 Quarters. I was so blasted I didnt hear what he said I just recognized his voice. I instinctively made up one quarter his usual order. I go down to meet him w/ one. I get in his car, and he complains about getting only one. anyway we start out for our ritual burn cruise. My head is pounding I tell him to drop me off immediately I cant make it. He drops me at my door. Every step I took created a painful pounding in my head.
Later I told my mom how fucked up I was . She talked me into dumping my bath salts. so I flushed all the MXE (it was a free sample) and some 4-mec. (I had more outback). I live w/ my mother because she is disabled and im her slave. I cook/cean/shop/get pills/give pills/ alternative non FDA medicines (not just Marijuana). The stress of being a full time nurse for my mother makes me an ecstacey jackoff shutin.
After I finaly came down 6 hours or so later I realized that MXE was some good shit and I was a fool to flush it.
You think Im nuts, My mother meets all requirements for Medical Marijuana, the doctors offer to get her a medical card for free. There is a dispensary 4 blocks from here, but She is so paranoid shed rather buy weed from the black-market instead of putting her name into a database.
Personaly My fave Bath Salts are. 4MMC-4MEC. I read trip reports about MDPV and am grateful that I never received one bag of MDPV mistakenly labled 4mmc, methylone, or 4-mec, in my Ioffer RC days. Now that im on the road the only chemicals I will abuse are MDMA and LSD, and Synthetic Mescaline. I will never do another RC, except for some Mephedrone I would do that again.
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Hubby is thinking of exploring this one sometime next month so tagging for later.
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Hubby is thinking of exploring this one sometime next month so tagging for later.
Well make sure he's got a good milligram scale. I had been using/selling so much bath-salts I could eyeball the weight by substance, Everyone else needs to measure!
Ive got permanent damage in my nose from bath salt abuse. its not that bad it just burns sometimes and collects a lot of gunk. As for other problems from my Bath Salts Abuse. None Really, gained back the 10lbs or so I lost from the appetite suppression.
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I entered another dimension. I had to lie down on my bed because something really strange was going on. There were about a hundred different stages, each corresponding to a different bodily sensation, open-eyed visuals (not that I would have been able to tell if they were open or not), auditory hallucination and particular change in consciousness. I felt my body distort is strange and bizarre ways. Like, one minute everything looks like an infinitely complex Picasso painting and you feel as if you have a jaw that's sort of like... You know when you win at solitare and there are trails of cards left? That happened to my jaw. And the music (which I wasn't listening to) sounded like that digital sound effect from the matrix (which uses a flanger I believe). Definitely had an out-of-body experience. And I felt at one point as if I were experiencing all the possible combinations of being. That normal consciousness was only one in an infinite sea of possibilities, and that every world existed in each infinitely slight variation and that I was moving in and out of these realities at break-neck speed. There were cube worlds and glob worlds of green and purple lava-lamp like blobs, there were impressionist worlds, there were scary worlds, euphoric worlds. I realized that this was permanent, that I am experiencing all of this all the time, I am experiencing the consciousness of every single person, of every rock, "simultaneously" (outside of the bounds of time). Anyway, then I spoke to transdimentional aliens, but we really didn't have anything of any interest to talk about, it was mostly just awkward and a bummer. I think they were the equivalent of two kids who discovered their father's ham radio and had nothing to do on a Saturday night.