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Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: shizzle on August 26, 2012, 03:46 am

Title: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: shizzle on August 26, 2012, 03:46 am
Dear SR Forum members
(excuse my english)

as I'm looking for years and years... looking for a way to medicate and bring back some quality into this crazy life...

I got to the point - where I found lots of information (but almost no studies) about the use of opium (or opiates) for mental illnes.
Back in the days, as most of us know (hopefully), it was common to use opiates for a variety of indications.
Now... the information is almost not there anymore, since the pharma industries make big profits with their psychopharmaka and other medicine... natural products cant be patented. (just think about the fact, that weed can cure cancer (in lots of cases))

Like the subject tells - this is going to be a honest topic from me.

I suffer a lot with my mental health - since ... about 12 years now. Depending on what I tell (which kind of) doctor - and how I tell it, I had diagnoses from A-Z - almost everything with time. Its a mix of Anxiety (panick attacks), Depression, schizophrenic , personality disorder. I don't fit in any of these things perfectly - but I have a bit of everything.

Till now I always managed it somehow, not to end up in crazy house... (but I was there twice for emergency medication- leaving the clinic after 2 hours ;-).

I have tried so many medications all the years...

- four different kinds of Neuroleptics (from soft to hard ones)
- same number of anti depressants (SSRI too etc etc)
- benzos for panick attacks

I tried many alternative methods found over the years that "should" help (no studies about that... lot of rumors) - but .. no they didn't help

I even went to shamans, healers and so on - even did try "medicine the psychedelic way" (yes I know its dangerous with my mental background... but I wanted to try- had nothing to loose) - and of course went to doctors, therapists - had different psycho therapies ...

Neuroleptika - honestly - can help a bit - and protect you a bit from inner and outer things - which are too strong at times for sensitive persons like I am. But the side effects... that fucking mental "zombie" state... thats no life sleeping 12-14 hours EVERY night...

Then they add anti depressants for that side effeckt, and you end up much more confused and... impotent...

As it seems to be proofed for Antidepressants, its only the placebo effect which works. If you believe they work- if you don't believe they don't. (so if you take them- you better believe ;-) )

Then I found - and pharma asses know this for a long time - that CBD (a cannabis compound which doesnt act psychoactive) is AS GOOD AS the stronges neuroleptics - with much less side effects.
(NL shorten your life for about 5 years, you can become Diabetic, you can end up mentally poor, depressed an much more ...)
So this CBD is not available - it could be available if pharma industry can produce something similar artificial and patent it.
I could ")=§)=§")")") them!!!  >:(

So thats no choice, even not in an illegal way, because those seeds are not available at the moment (hope soon!) - at the moment there are only some 1:1 (THC:CBD) seeds out there- but that seems still to be too much THC to me.

So... what I could and want to try is Opium! I want to avoid the medications mentioned above in any possible way.

Opium is habit and addiction forming (if used daily) - OK - but what if life is a bit more easy? What if it really helps to stop the inner screaming, the freaky things going on - all the nervousness I experience every day.. is addiction so bad (in case you have your every day stash at home)?

I can't see the point some psychiatrist would and do say "Its addictive"- damn and what? Most of the Neuroleptica patients have to take their medication there whole life anyway... some are not even allowed to stop taking them...

At the moment I'm taking soft neuroleptics to lower the peaks a bit - but its not like "oh I can live with that" and Valium or Lorazepam (benzos) for harder attacks...

At the moment I get a bit used to Valium, and perhaps I'm already in an addiction... I realise because I took some more yesterday, and was mental going to the roof as the actual day... couldn't handle that strange setting from my mind- so took it again - but only half the dose...

somewhere I read in the internet, that benzos can protect you from psychotic states- or schizophrenic states, too... but I have to question that.. I'm trying to come off these "Blues" as soft - but fast - as possible.

Someone in my family works with mental ill people and says herself "if it helps you, don't care about addiction, you can always stop it - if you stop it very very slow".

Long story short - my questions are:

- Is here someone who treats his/her mental illness with opium or opiates? (or knows someone)
  if yes - how is it to you?

- Can you stop taking benzos (physical addiction) by starting Opium? And can you use benzos for times without Opium?

- What is a good starting dose with high quality (!!!) opium? (200mg to eat?) - and would it be better to smoke or to eat it in the   beginning?

- Has someone here experience with indoor poppy growing? (imagine a whole room with lights and so on)

- btw - I'm looking for a vendor on SR selling high quality opium, within EU (india .... I don't think thats a good idea, wonder how some pakets do it through customs... )

- Is it hard to stay with low opium doses? I read a lot about pain-patients taking morphine - and they all say they have no problem with their daily dose for years


As I also have hard physical problems, and I'm chronic pain patient- I would be happy if one drug dose it all... and all I read about Opium sounds very good...

what is not good is... its illegal and you need lot of money (thats why the question about growing)

Thank you for reading and I hope someone can tell me little bit about this or that!

Shizzle
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: Holly on August 26, 2012, 04:09 am
Is being dependent on drugs and chemical satisfaction really worth it?  Does life hurt that bad that you'd have to result to this?  Trust me I feel you and all and that's sometimes why I think I smoke weed everyday to have an apathetic attitude towards society and all things around me, but I'd much rather be satisfied not having to ingest anything to be tolerant to life.
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: Black Sheep on August 26, 2012, 07:42 am
Addiction is overrated and quite frankly, in my opinion, it's not nearly as bad as its made out to be. If you can gain a better standard of life then who really cares you have to dose daily? You have to eat food everyday. Is that so bad?

I'd personally much rather be addicted to opiates than benzodiazepines or anti-depressants... One big part is that withdrawal from benzodiazepines can kill you while opiate withdrawal is not life threatening.

For your question about if benzos will help an opiate withdrawal the answer is sort of. The only thing that will directly alleviate withdrawal is another opiate but you might be able to take the edge off with other drugs.

I started off using poppy pods for about a year and then switched to poppy pods and heroin. When I added H into the mix I dropped my poppy pod dosage to less than half so it wasn't really an increase in overall opiates. This last week I've quit taking poppy pods altogether and have only been using heroin. Kicker is, I haven't increased my heroin dose. I use ~100 mg a day. I buy a gram and make it last ten days. Some days I might use more and some days less but I make sure I make it last the ten days. I don't like to call myself addicted to opiates rather I'm dependent. Just like we're all dependent on food, water, and sleep to function. My dependence is actually trending downwards! In September I'll have been using opiates for two years. I'm currently spending 8-9 dollars a day on my habit. I typed all that so you have some background information.

I honestly have never loved myself, liked myself, cared about myself, or valued myself until I started using opiates. I actually made a concious decision to become dependent. I knew what I was getting into but I felt the pros far outweighed the cons. Since then I've quit smoking weed. I smoked for ten years but I'm just so content that I don't need it. I'll smoke occasionally with friends like once every couple of months but honestly it makes me feel stupid. I much prefer the clean, confident, subtle bliss of opiates. My cravings for experimenting with other drugs are all but gone. Sometimes I'll get an urge to do stimulants but I rarely give in. I think it's been about a year since I've used a stimulant. I've started a business recently. My second one. First one I closed down after a very unexpected incident. I'm back in school. I own a house. And I'm only in my low-mid twenties. The best is yet to come... Oh yeah, and I'm dependent on diacetylmorphine.

I've only withdrawn once. I went on a flight to a country I thought I'd be able to get opiates easily but was only able to get small amounts. It was a planning blunder.... The worst of the withdrawals were over in 3-4 days. I was no longer in acute withdrawal after like 5-6 days. It's really not that bad physically... The mental aspects are worse. I wasn't expecting it... if I was, it would have been a lot easier. The thing is man it's an all in or out thing.

The problem most users have, in my opinion, is they can't ration their use. They know they are dependent so they know they will need a dose tomorrow yet will use up their stash today. Then they will tell you about how hard their life is and how you'll never understand and that if you let them borrow twenty bucks today, they'll give you thirty tomorrow. They chase the high. They are never content. They want to use enough to where they teeter on that line of high and death just hoping they go over. I believe opiates are a tool to make your life better. There is a THEORY that says some people are born with an endorphin deficiency. That means they are lacking normal levels of the brains natural opiates. It could be the reason I feel like "me" when I use. Point I'm trying to get to is that they will not make everything better. They could, however, possibly give you the strength, power, courage, patience, and peace to make your life what you want it to be. If opiates are the most important thing in your life YOU WILL become like the people I talked about. Using impulsively. Stealing to get your fix. Things of that nature... You will end up worse than before if you let it control you...

I do not regret my decision to start using one bit. However, for my one experience, you'll find 100 that are the opposite. So please, think about this before you jump in and ask yourself if you can handle it. Truly take it by the fucking horns and be the boss of it. If you have even a sliver of doubt, walk away... No, run away.

I hope this post gives you some insight and please do ask if you have anymore questions.... I'll try to help the best I can.
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: shizzle on August 26, 2012, 02:38 pm
Hello and thank you for your replies!

@holly ... well... I see it doesn't make sense to discuss it (you think I'm searching for 12 years for fun? or taking medicine for fun? - let me tell you I tried many periods without medication...), but thank you anyway!

@black sheep

why did you switch from poppy to H? because H is more easy to get?

Look I don't have experience with that (only weed in the past, but I can't take it because of my mental problems) - all I seem to "know" is - always stay with opium - never do the H.

That's what my point of view is from what I heard and that is my goal - never to end up with H - never - even if opium is not around - take H.

It might sound crazy, but (similar to you) its like I'm planning on how I can deal best with my habit/addiction I don't have yet. That means I do not start to take something regular if I don't have the option to have my daily dose for sure.

I read again and again, that withdrawal from opium is much more easy to that from H.

I get a little bit pissed at the moment, because of the benzos... the effect is so ... soft and almost not noticeable (if you stick to small doses like I do) - it is not worth an addiction...

have to get off this...


I invite everyone here to take part with this discussion and perhaps can tell me a bit more about doses (opium), and perhaps even poppy growing.

Thank you!
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: username100 on August 26, 2012, 02:52 pm

- Can you stop taking benzos (physical addiction) by starting Opium? And can you use benzos for times without Opium?


No. You could have a seizure and die.
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: Mashman on August 26, 2012, 03:20 pm
Quote
I invite everyone here to take part with this discussion and perhaps can tell me a bit more about doses (opium), and perhaps even poppy growing.

Start small, say 50mg, wait half hour, if thats not enough then take another 50mg. Repeat process until you get desired effects.
Poppies can grow in the majority of northern hemisphere countries. Where are u based? I dont know about indoor growing but you can plant them outside.

Quote

- Can you stop taking benzos (physical addiction) by starting Opium? And can you use benzos for times without Opium?


No. You could have a seizure and die.

Wean urself off of benzos. Reduce your dose per week. Do NOT just stop taking them as username said it puts you at a very high risk of seizure and could result in you dying.
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: Black Sheep on August 26, 2012, 04:57 pm
Shizzle I started using H instead because it gave me more energy than poppy pod tea. I also didn't have to make tea everyday.

You seem to be caught up in the stigma that heroin is the devil :-) it's just another opiate... In fact, it mostly turns back into morphine in your body. While heroin withdrawal is acute, opium withdrawal is usually longer. Opium is a mix of alkaloids and has its own unique feel. They have a synergy...

One thing that makes heroin so notorious is it is injectable. I do not inject. I think this is where it gets its stigma from... When you think of heroin, needles are close by.
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: shizzle on August 26, 2012, 11:18 pm
thank you username & Mashman & black sheep

@mashman

I live in a city, planting outside is hard to realise. I read that indoor poppies - even hydro! - is no problem - but I wonder if it works with the temperatur - because they like it a bit cooler
(the good thing about poppies is, you don't need a carbon filter for the smell - like weed growing)

There was a book listed on SR - I can't find anymore - it was something like "hydro poppy growing".
I know that - outside with a normal strain - you need lots of plants and space... but with "Elite" f.E. and hydro... perhaps the space goes down to a quarter - dont know. And depending on how much time they need to grow (flower period induced by light cycle) - you can have more than 1 harvest/year... perhaps even 3?
(those are the things I would like to know)
I don't ask about EC etc... but think they are less hungry than weed

So with growing some poppy + buying some from time to time... perhaps its possible if you don't have the big money.

What I read - I think 200mg is an amount I should never top - means 1g/5d - 6 a month...

@black sheep

yes I think I'm totally caught up by the stigma. To me, I need something to calm me down - then I have my energy back - because I normally invest my whole energy in "bringing my self down" - thats a paradox reaction I have. But ... I have to try don't know yet. Benzos give me energy and calm me at the same time.  The synergy of opium ingredients was the thing I thought would be good - and H as one "chemical" only - is not so good.

One thing I'm really afraid of, is that there is no "pure" H available... (or is it at SR?)

All I heard is, that the consumers health get "fucked up" because of the garbage they add to the H.

How do you consume your H? Do you purify it somehow to be sure not to eat/snort/smoke bullshit?

Excuse my stupid questions, but I take care about my health :-) (thats why I want to avoid neuroleptics, beside the horrible mental feeling with them... to be exactly "the not feeling")

Regards and thank you all for your posts

Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: Ben on August 27, 2012, 12:56 am

- Can you stop taking benzos (physical addiction) by starting Opium? And can you use benzos for times without Opium?


No. You could have a seizure and die.

Benzo's are often used in treatment of opiate withdrawal, although this is usually done under medical supervision.

Traditionally opium has been used to treat all kinds of medical conditions, from pain to mental illness, and that is not without merit. Surely it is addictive, but as long as you can afford a steady supply that doesn't have to be a major problem. Its important to note the difference between heroin and natural opium though. Opium as in the sap from the poppy bud contains mostly morphine as the active substance. Per milligram this is less effective compared to heroin, but the onset and wearing off of its effects are more gradual.

If you have the space to grow your own poppies i think that would be a far superior option compared to getting heroin from the streets or even silkroad. You could even store the sap in the freezer if you are in an area where poppies only grow seasonally.

The stigma against users is mostly against junkies injecting the stuff. Traditionally natural opium was smoked or ingested, which is a very different experience from injecting heroin. Opium dens were, and to some degree still are, places comparable to bars in southeast asia, and the clientele there certainly is nothing like the junkies we known in the western world.
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: shizzle on August 27, 2012, 04:30 pm
Thank you Ben for your reply!

Well I researched a bit, and it seems like growing poppies (indor) is not worth it...

Seems like opium is hard to find - sadly... or is it? I don't know the "scene" - but it should be hard to find a regular source (in real life) - and hard to find one on SR (not in india). And I would, of course, prefer a source not located in a virtual world.

I going to try a small amount - that should not addict me immediately, and then I'll see what to do.

Drug laws have to change... really... its a crime that you can't choose by yourself what you take (in a safe and affordable way)

you can drink till you die - for little money - but you cant use something that might help you with your condition  >:(
Title: Re: Honest discussion about Opium and mental health - help please
Post by: Ben on August 27, 2012, 11:58 pm
Growing poppies indoors is possible, but they do need a fair amount of soil, perhaps a big bucket or flower pot of similar size. They are also seasonal, so if you are living in the northern hemisphere, its not likely you'll be able to seed and grow them successfully until next spring.

Legislation can be an odd thing. In most countries its perfectly legal to grow poppies in your garden as ornamental plants, but as soon as you milk them for the sap it suddenly becomes a problem. One thing you could consider is simply planting them in the wild, perhaps in a public park, edge of a forest, or something similar. Most people will think nothing of it, and you could milk (or collect) the bulbs at night. After all they are just pretty flowers and papaver species naturally occur in most of the western world. Somniferum plants don't look that different to the untrained eye, so chances are people will just think they are pretty decoration and leave them be.