Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: SuperDimitri on January 04, 2012, 08:45 pm
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(Just a rant, as I have no friends IRL. It might make absolutely no sense to anyone, at all.)
Hey, it's 2012! The fucking world is gong to end?!? Allllllllriiiiight. I'm a fucking spiteful misanthrope, so to me, no worries. Oh, it's just going to be a mental cleansing? A global awakening? Nigguh, PLEASE! If there was EVER going to be a global awakening, it would have been in the 60's, maybe the 30's,definitely NOT now. We are so accustomed to point and click, point and click, charge and sign, then turn on the TV, while typing on my phone. (I don't own a cell phone!) Are we breeding a future of humpbacked texters, who bump into each other because they can't lift their goddamn head from the screen? Do you think DMT is going to change that? I wish I could agree. I don't think our current global society is going to "awaken" any time soon. Just look at Occupy Wall Street. What about it,you ask? Well, I had to WORK,I couldn't leave town, and go campout with a posterboard sign for weeks on end. I have fucking bills to pay. I am not rich, and I don't leach off of my parents. Who was REALLY protesting, and WHAT were they protesting?? In ALL of your years,have you ever seen a chant, a slogan,or a FUCKING SIGN accomplish an agenda? FUCK NO. It takes ACTION, and while it may offend you, stinky fucking dredlocked 25yr old "hippies" don't deploy much action,other than making patchwork pants,and sloganized posterboard signs. Then we have the other spectrum, the well-to-do upper middle-class yuppie hippie wannabes. They want wall street to revert back to its old days, so that they too can make BIG $$$! Don't be fooled. Occupy Wall Street did NOTHING. YOU did nothing. I did nothing. Obama did something! Goddamn NDAA,reverting me back to my hateful, spiteful, revolutionary,terrorist teen ways.
I smoke a LOT of DMT. So much that I don't mind the taste or smell! I took my last hit of LSD in 2001, and ate my last scoobs in 2004. I didn't like having my entire day taken, and to be honest, as I got older, I would trip longer and longer, and thought I might not ever come back, which wouldn't be soooo bad, except I really haven't got any family, and would end up locked up. Ever been in jail, on LSD? I have. One of the worst, and LONGEST times of my life. (I've also been spun in jail, but that's another story!) So,in 2005, a good friend brought some purple crystal to my house, and said it would make me trip balls, BUT,only for 30 minutes or less. I trust this person, so I take a big rip,and AS I am exhaling,I feel a rush like speed,and start to get pissed,as I quit meth in the year 2000, as my Resolution. They chuckle a bit, and say take another, so I did, and as I am exhaling that hit,is when it hit. And I was happy. 30 minutes later,I felt good to be alive. I say what the fuck is that?!? They say Dimethyltryptimine. I say,I must learn more. Within 2 weeks,I was ordering some MHRB, called up my friend, and said that purple shit was JUNK, come the fuck over, NOW. We smoke some good pure DMT, hehehe, and the trip is cleaner and more profound.
Almost every time I trip,I have DeJa Vu, and when I do, I like to write down everything. you'd be surprised how often I experience IRL, the experience I had in the feelings of DeJa Vu. I lost my job in the fall, and did not qualify for unemployment. I live in a seasonal town, with absolutely no work in the winter. I also found SR about a month later. It seemed to be the answer, broadening my output, so I started reading up, posting threads(something I have never done since shroomery forums WAY back in the day.) and trying to get the products I need to be a trusted and good vendor. One night, I decide it would be good to trip, and think about this whole thing. During my trip, I had a profound DeJa Vu experience, and commenced to writing, which is a fight while frying balls! It's not the same if you wait to sober up! My experience had me sitting in my chair, typing on the forums, when I get the feeling that the WHOLE thing is a setup, you are ALL pigs, and all out to get me. I used to get in a lot of trouble in the 90's, but wised up, and changed my life, well, a little. I got off of meth & heroin, bought a small trailer, quit hanging out with people, and went totally hermit. This helped me stay out of trouble and under the radar for the last 14 years. Then I found SR, tripped a couple times, made a couple orders, thought about becoming a vendor, and my world came crashing down! On the 30th, I was pulled over for "A real professional yield", no big deal, not even a ticket, except he comes back and says I have a warrant. Fucking IMPOSSIBLE. But it apparently wasn't, and off to jail I go. Haven't been since 1998. Finally, 6 hours later, they give me my call, and I bail out. Things have been quite weird (mildly put) since I got involved in SR. I spent 14 years with the pigs leaving me alone, but as soon as I join this site, I suddenly have a warrant, get pulled over for bullshit, and get arrested. I found this all quite disenchanting. After 14 years, it seems weird to me that joining SR and getting arrested for a warrant would coincide. So, last night, after MtGox decided to lockout my account, I decided to smoke a bowl and calm down and relax, then I decided to read over some DeJa Vu notes. Oddly enough, this is what I wrote, exactly:
Sitting in chair, laptop looks evil. Been here before. What happens? What is happening? All conspiracy to fuck me over again. I don't know enough to be involved, this isn't my world. Intrigue will kill you.
I wrote that a couple years back,with some footnotes that I won't detail. But as I was sitting here last night, MtGox locked me out,the pigs called, AGAIN, saying if I didn't come down to get re-printed they would issue another warrant. Thing is, THEY fucked up my prints, THAT is not my fault. But I am currently trying to cope with going from a VERY undramatic life-style, to having pigs breathing down my neck, all on bullshit (see my post pleading for pro-bono lawyer help) my money being stolen, a package yet to arrive (just beans, not too too worried), and the weirdness of trying to peg a typed sentence as LEO or trusted. This makes the laptop evil, pigs & gox conspiracy. Will they give my info to the pigs? If so, they will know I want BTC, why do people want BTC? To fight the establishment. What happens to those who fight the establishment? They get killed, or just disappear.....THIS is why protestors do nothing. They have the FEAR. I admit, I also have the fear. Being locked up the other day was an instant reminder of why I went hermit. I love my so-called freedom. There isn't much worse than being stuck with a bunch of fucktards, staring out a small slat of a window, watching the trees grow leaves, lose leaves, grow leaves, lose leaves. Getting a boner when a fucking WHALE walks by on the street 3 blocks away, thinking, if I were free right now, I'd fuck that. I was locked up from my 18th birthday, till just after my 20th. No good time, no bail. I never wanted that again, and took precise steps to assure it....then I found Silk road, and seemingly, my world went topsy-turvy in less than a week. And I couldn't help but think that my cryptic writing (yes, I know it's a Megadeth album) warned me about this. I would LOVE to open my market up to a global audience, maybe even make some RW connections, but in reality, I am just not ballsy,nor smart enough. I would need a co-conspirator to help me along, and I don't trust many people. And the couple of computer geniuses I know, don't know I smoke herb, so I couldn't ask for their help.
My paranoia sometimes tells me this is all a setup, for me alone. The RS article helps to ease that fear, somewhat. I mean, I kinda KNOW it's not, but my world always gets fucked over. Murphy's Law is WEAK compared to my law.
My rewards have to outweigh the risks. Being a vendor might be easy, but my town is highly isolated from the rest of the world, so shipping would pinpoint my location pretty damn well. An idea of my isolation? Next town is 55 miles away, population of about 300. Next decent sized town, hence having a Wally World, is 120 miles away. I would want to ship from there, but that's a 4 hour round-trip drive. When I say next,that's what I mean. Nothing in between, no lights, no buildings, just Earth. And while it's a great place to be, it does get frustrating sometimes. That's why I learned to grow and manufacture all my own drugs. Then I found SR. And I am flabbergasted. I am still confused. I am still scared. Not so much for buying, but for selling. Had I heeded my own pseudo-prophetic advice, I wouldn't even be here.
I am still trying to overcome my fear. Right now, I am trying to rationalize the SR. WHO started it, WHO trusted them to vend here, WHO trusted them to buy? I know I will never get those answers, but it doesn't stop the questions from being in my head. I hear stories of Rainbow Gatherings, and Burning Man, and honestly, I have had many chances to attend these events, but sadly,I am never accepted, as I am not a 'hippie", and more of a cynical asshole, who loves death metal, hates religions off ALL kinds, and therefor,I get ousted at these places. 1st event was a RG in NM back in the 90's. I stayed all of 3 hours. I arrived to see a pristine forrest (rare in the desert!) being trampled and littered on. Human shit EVERYWHERE, fucking animals. In 3 hours I had about 30 people BEGGING for drugs and food. Trash everywhere. It looked more like under the struts in Philly, where all the heroin addicts and AIDS hookers live! I was not impressed. And therefor, unlike my friend who took me, never made any good family connections. I have a REAL respect for the Earth,and I think the idea is lost once a bunch of addicts get together. Same goes for OWS. Drugs are good, fuck, they're GRRRRRREAT! But, we can't forget what's REALLY important, and THAT, my friends, is freedom. Pure and simple. Mental and physical FREEDOM. And it will now ONLY be achieved by death. With the NDAA, Patriot Act AAAND the McCarran Act,it's just not gonna happen. I bet mostof you never even HEARD of the McCarran Act. It's from 1954, and was NEVER repealed by Congress, meaning....we have been in a police state since 1954. Forget the PA & NDAA, they didn't NEED those.
So, here I am, stuck in the middle of nowhere, ostracized by my fellow humans, sketching my freedom for the 1st time in 14 years, while waiting for seeds in the mail, fighting the system-literally-any fucking way I can, without losing said pseudo-freedoms.
OK, it's time for me to eat some dead flesh, drink a dew, and puff my e-cig.
This rant has been brought to you by Dimethyltryptamine & Cannabinoids. It doesn't require replies, as it doesn't pose a question,not forwardly, anyhow. But, feel free to say whatever the fuck you want, kind or hateful, I don't give a shit, because 90% of you are filthy life ruining PIGS. 8% are just drug snob knowitalls, and the other 2% are probably A-OK.
Chaos
SD
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you're going to need a tl;dr
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you're going to need a tl;dr
I might as well assume that not knowing what that is means I need to quit.
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you're going to need a tl;dr
I might as well assume that not knowing what that is means I need to quit.
tl;dr = too long; didn't read, it's a smartass internet way of putting a summary at the end
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So I just ousted myself as an outdoors kind of person!
I do, however, find that funny, as when one is new, and asks questions, they refer you to forums, with multiple pages of posts that you are supposed to read through.
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Ashbury is a jerkoff. You can tell he is very unhappy with his life by his attitude. He never provides anything helpful or any valuable insights. He is a jack ass with nothing to contribute to the Silk Road society or real life society.
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Ashbury is a jerkoff. You can tell he is very unhappy with his life by his attitude. He never provides anything helpful or any valuable insights. He is a jack ass with nothing to contribute to the Silk Road society or real life society.
Most people say this about me. I've actually like some of Asbury's smartass comments. And I think the poster is supposed to put the tl;dr on the end, maybe he WAS being helpful! Just not a typative/talkative person. I can appreciate that.
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Ashbury is a jerkoff. You can tell he is very unhappy with his life by his attitude. He never provides anything helpful or any valuable insights. He is a jack ass with nothing to contribute to the Silk Road society or real life society.
Most people say this about me. I've actually like some of Asbury's smartass comments. And I think the poster is supposed to put the tl;dr on the end, maybe he WAS being helpful! Just not a typative/talkative person. I can appreciate that.
I read your entire post because you defended me.
Other people don't take the time to look for the answers to their questions so why should anybody take the time to answer?
And tl;dr is not smartass. It's if you actually want more than one or two people to hear what you have to say. Nobody has actually responded to your post because frankly it is too long.
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Wasn't trying to call you a smartass Asbury, just messing around here. Noone should take me too seriously
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I read your entire post because you defended me.
Other people don't take the time to look for the answers to their questions so why should anybody take the time to answer?
And tl;dr is not smartass. It's if you actually want more than one or two people to hear what you have to say. Nobody has actually responded to your post because frankly it is too long.
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Right on. I really didn't care if it was even read, or responded to. It just felt good to vent. I have never been good at condensing my thoughts or words. And even if 3 people read it, that's 3 more than would hear me out IRL. I even had one who was kind enough to offer a positive word via PM.
Trying to find all the answers in this slurry is much more of a read than this!
You is who you is.
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I read the post. It is interesting to understand how other people thing and can provide valuable insights.
Super, dont take that the wrong way I am not plotting on you or anything haha
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I read the post. It is interesting to understand how other people thing and can provide valuable insights.
Super, dont take that the wrong way I am not plotting on you or anything haha
I didn't/don't. I'm also intrigued by minds.
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In all honesty if your smart enough to worry about situations that haven't even come up yet then you are probably smart enough to avoid those situations. You put in some thought and now you are modifying your behavior accordingly. This is excellent.
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My friend Jay rants like this, about once a year. I think it is kind of awesome, a good rant gets me pumped. Liked yours Dimitri.