Silk Road forums

Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: thedopestjunkie on September 28, 2013, 05:13 pm

Title: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 28, 2013, 05:13 pm
Greetings fellow drug users. Some of you may be able to moderate your drug use just fine, with little to no problems. For the rest of us, I have decided to create this thread. Here you can post if youre struggling and need some advice or a helping hand from another addict just like you. Please no trolling, making up stories to seek attention.

I'm happy to help in anyway that I can, and hope that my experience with drug use and recovery can be of some service to you. So dont be shy, if youre struggling or worried about your usage, this is the place to post.

I guess I will start... I'm really worried about my cocaine usage in the past five years. I'm able to hold it together mostly, but damn I just cant seem to say no to it. Im particularly worried that Ive done some permanent damage to my nose, and that if I dont give it up soon I will pay for it. I also have experienced some chest pain that may or may not be related.

Every time I use I swear its the last time, but its never the case. I believe I am ready to give up the hard stuff for good and starting today I will be doing my best to do so.

My hope is that by giving up hard drugs I might be of better service to my fellow brothers and sisters. I'm open to any and all advice you may have and look forward to hearing from some of you. Feel free to share your experience with addiction even if you dont feel you have anything to contribute, I am sure there is plenty we can all learn from one another. So let the recovery and learning begin!
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: Aurelius Venport on September 29, 2013, 01:02 am
I've been looking into Macca powder for ADD treatment....anyone know about this? My energy isn't what it used to be, neither is my memory and attention span. I take lots of vitamins, get plenty of rest, and try to exercise. Ginko seems to work well....

Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 29, 2013, 01:22 am
Have the same problems AV, no idea about macca powder though.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 29, 2013, 06:17 pm
Today is motherfucking day one of going without coke. Working on kickin the cig habit too.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: Reason on September 29, 2013, 08:32 pm
Today is motherfucking day one of going without coke. Working on kickin the cig habit too.

I don't have a problem relationship with any substance, but I've had people close to me that did (one alcohol, one heroin).  They were not able to overcome this unhealthy relationship, and it lead to their death.  So I hope you are successful.

I don't have any advice based on experience I'm afriad.  However, I might suggest that you think about what gives your life meaning, and then thow yourself into it fully.  Let it be your purpose, and with luck perhaps it will crowd out or reduce your need for drugs.  Working on behalf of other is a wonderful way to do this.  You soon will need to be stronger for them.

I'd also suggest that if nothing else you try to take steps toward minimizing your uses's effects on your health.  I know nothing about cocaine, but perhaps there are better ways of using it that would, for example, not further damage your nose.

I'd also recommend meditation, just a simple 10-15 minutes a day where you try to focus your attention gently on your breathing.  Don't judge yourself when your mind wanders, it's normal, just acknoledge where your mind went, and return your attention gently to the breathing.  You may find the practice helps you consider your situation in a new light.

Be well.

R.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: CrunchWrappedCoke on September 29, 2013, 09:47 pm
My problem that I just recently addressed has been my prescription stimulant usage. I used cocaine for the first time 7 months ago or so and used it a few times a month. This got me researching other stimulants, I knew I took stimulants, but I was under that they would do nothing for me. I went ahead and grabbed several grams of pills, thankfully mostly Concerta, which is a bitch to make into IR, but enough to get me hooked. I used it with my friends, which I was okay with, but then I started using on my own at home a couple times a week, then every day, then a few times a day.

It's gotten to the point where a 10 mg oral dose of Focalin IR doesn't do anything for me. It's hard to quit. It feels so good to use it and I have more benefits from using than without, but I need to get it under control. I stopped using, outside of prescribed dose in the recommended RoA, for 4 days. Then used multiple times a day for the past two.

It's hard to quit. It's nice that I can just put this out there. I only have 1 friend who I can talk to about this who supports me. It's nice to know you aren't alone in your struggle.

Quitting cold turkey is hard, maybe you should try figuring out how much you dose and how frequently, then create a schedule to drop doses and frequency over time. It helps limit cravings and minimizes withdrawal symptoms.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: GyroGym on September 29, 2013, 10:07 pm
 I accidentaly got myself on the opiate train :-(....heroin and fentanyl seem to be my downfall......what turned into the odd weekend is now an everyday (sometimes every hour) shooting fest just to not be sick...I litteraly can shoot over 24mg of dilaudid and it just be an OK hit.

 I do want to have a break ( started I.V. opiates about 6 months ago when I thought i should try some dilaudid the "real" way) but Its hard with a job and trying to live a normal live to just take a few weeks off to shit and vomit non stop....and i dont wanna get myself deeper into it with methadone and suboxone......sometimes i just think i should say fuck it and continue using opiates.

 Its by no means destroyed my life (alcohol has by far done more damage to my life) but its something that doesnt need to be there :-(
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 30, 2013, 12:09 am
Good advice Reason, and thanks immensely for that. You are living up to your name! Glad to hear the other contributions to this thread as well, sometimes just being able to talk openly about it is enough to get things rolling. Im sure of that.

I feel fucking great today and have been feeling that way recently pretty regularly. This is certainly a change for me and I attribute it to my taking the first steps to reducing my drug use, including nicotine, and some of the help Ive received from people in the these forums. Mental illness usually goes hand in hand with drug use and Im no stranger to it but still I believe I can make progress and get better, which I did not believe before.

I too have lost loved ones to addiction, one in particular to opiate addiction. Its a nasty thing and it was nice to hear you share GyroGym. From what I gather, you want to stop using the opiates and you can its not gonna be easy though and I know that you know that. I hope you do though Ill be checking on this thread daily and keeping everyone posted on my progress in the hopes that others will join.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: Refyned on September 30, 2013, 12:19 am
Just another one in y'all's corners!
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 30, 2013, 05:31 am
welcome refyned!
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: gn0ssos on September 30, 2013, 06:10 am
Much love and luck to everyone here! Cocaine is one helluva drug. I actually have had to move twice now to get away from the dealers that were literally right next door or too close, too much of a temptation. SR makes it easier for people who are trying to moderate their habits because we have to wait on it in the mail. I've been clean for months now so I've got a little indulgence (bender) planned for this weekend, but after that I probably won't fuck with it again for awhile.

Kicked the smoking habit about a month or so ago. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be once I was around people who don't smoke (my family). Good luck again to everyone in all their endeavors. :)
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 30, 2013, 12:20 pm
Thanks gn0ssos!
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on September 30, 2013, 10:43 pm
Hey everyone, hope you are all doing well. Im still workin on kicking both those habits Ive got, making progress though. Been clean from the c and cutting way back on the cigs until im ready to just go cold turkey.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: spanky loc on October 01, 2013, 03:03 am
Will either edit this post or add a response later. Good job OP, this kind of topic is important.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on October 01, 2013, 11:43 am
Thanks Spanky, and welcome.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on October 02, 2013, 11:55 am
Hello Everyone, another beautiful day. My mood is a little low today and the cravings are back but Im hanging in there. If you havent checked it out yet be sure to check out the good doctor's thread in drug safety, he can answer all your drug related questions. Feel free to share if youre struggling today or if you just want to say hello.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: FirePharmacy on October 02, 2013, 12:43 pm
Today is motherfucking day one of going without coke. Working on kickin the cig habit too.

Good morning the dopestjunkie. How are you doing today with your battle?  I spent almost 10 years of my life addicted to coke. I  used to dream about getting high.  Man even the dreams used to mess me up in the head.  I tried the 12 steps, rehab - the usual crap.  What really did it for me was getting more faith.  I'm not super religious or anything, but learning that I wasn't alone, no matter how alone I felt, was ultimately what freed me from the addiction.  I think just getting older helps too.  I look back now on how crazy I was over coke and I regret the wasted years a great deal.   Now I'm able to do a few lines, then not touch it again for months, even years.  I wish you the best of luck in your battle.

I'm not a Dr, but it seems to me that you'd probably have an easier time if you just picked giving up one thing at a time, instead of kicking coke AND cigs.  Why make it so much harder on yourself mentally? I mean we're only human.  I'd be happy giving up just one at a time.  Give yourself a break you don't have to be perfect!
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: thedopestjunkie on October 03, 2013, 11:45 am
Thanks Fire good advice...still bummed out over the shutdown. how about you?
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: FirePharmacy on October 04, 2013, 02:14 pm
hey dopestjunkie man I'm spun for a loop.  I lost lost of money too.  Trying to regroup and start over on another site.  I am still using the same PGP key so customers can be rest assured it's the real PillfirePharmacy.  Stay safe and take care.
Title: Re: The Recovery Thread
Post by: maple on October 04, 2013, 06:49 pm
So I just noticed this, and wanted to declare my support for what you are trying to do. I've known people trying to kick addictions, benzos and nicotine, and it isn't easy. I hope you succeed, and look forward to any updates you may post on your progress.

I don't know if it will help you much, but I do know that one thing my friends found helpful was a little bit of weed to get them past the cravings. It might help a little. I also know that there have been reports of ego death trips on LSD helping people turn things completely around, but with the shutdown I don't really know how helpful that knowledge will be.

Good Luck!