Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: outoftime20 on August 28, 2012, 02:06 pm
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I'm in a situation and dont understand. I'm an amazing student, top of my class and work out regularly. But I cope with having no social life whatsoever by using drugs, mostly weed. My family says it will ruin me and people seem turned off by my drug use. Any advice?
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Go find friends that smoke....problem solved...... seriously! I know plenty of professional tokers. Just gotta look around. :)
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I'm in a situation and dont understand. I'm an amazing student, top of my class and work out regularly. But I cope with having no social life whatsoever by using drugs, mostly weed. My family says it will ruin me and people seem turned off by my drug use. Any advice?
I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm kind of the same way. I'm pretty much just posting to keep an eye on this thread.
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Everything in moderation.
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my thoughts are that, longterm chronic abuse takes its toll and messes you up, but so does living clean. :/ you can't fucking win.
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There is nothing wrong with using drugs only letting drugs use you.
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I like how you take a few month hiatus and only the OGs seem to remember you, moonbear. It's been said before (a lot) the last time you were with us: use responsibly, you're still young and you may or may not be fucking your health, but getting caught can hurt your chances at a legitimate future.
In a contraction and two words, "don't be stupid"
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Everything in moderation.
including moderation :)
If one never uses excessively one can never use in moderation.
I always heed this advice.
+1
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Everything in moderation.
including moderation :)
If one never uses excessively one can never use in moderation.
I always heed this advice.
+1
I don't disagree with this at all. I just _assumed_, OP may have enough common sense to understand.
Apparently, I assume too much, lol....
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Everything in moderation.
including moderation :)
If one never uses excessively one can never use in moderation.
I always heed this advice.
+1
I don't disagree with this at all. I just _assumed_, OP may have enough common sense to understand.
Apparently, I assume too much, lol....
Sounds like OP has a social anxiety disorder or cannot relate to others because he sees the world from a different perspective.
That is okay.
Pot may or may not be helping the situation.
Personally I need weed.
Whatever you do, don't take any meds.
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Everything in moderation.
including moderation :)
If one never uses excessively one can never use in moderation.
I always heed this advice.
+1
I don't disagree with this at all. I just _assumed_, OP may have enough common sense to understand.
Apparently, I assume too much, lol....
Sounds like OP has a social anxiety disorder or cannot relate to others because he sees the world from a different perspective.
That is okay.
Pot may or may not be helping the situation.
Personally I need weed.
Whatever you do, don't take any meds.
+1
For me, weed is a hit or miss with being social. Most of the time it makes me more social, but if something bad happens I tend to get very paranoid and/or anxious.
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The big question to ask is: "Is there a negative impact on the quality of my life?"
If you can honestly answer no then you are fine. I find myself rather high functioning but drugs are part of my coping skills and I feel they help me--I am no less productive or less sociable or less successful than previously and find that drugs make life more enjoyable.
It's a personal thing--if you can't look at your life in an unbiased manner(and perhaps none of us can), it's hard to say for sure.
If drugs are interfering with making friends and associates--don't tell them. Lie outright if you must. I go through times when I have like-minded friends I can share drug-addled nights with and then there are times when I have to use them in privacy. If the only people you can socialize with disprove then tell them you are clean now and drugs disgust you. Sometimes it's better to let people see the side of you they will like as opposed to seeing the whole you that they won't try to understand.
I hope you find your peace in life.
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Yeah, I kind of lead a triple life.
I smoke as much as I can without coughing up lungs and such, but only my close friends know how much for sure.
My family knows I smoke, but not as much as I do, or anything about any of the other drugs I've been using.
My wife's family and my employer know nothing about my freakish nature.
The most difficult thing about all this, is when folks from each of these "worlds" try to mix, like on my birthdays, summer BBQs or other special events.
I can't have my friends over when my family is here, and I can't mix work either.
I've been smoking weed since 1990, I smoked pot heavily for about 10 years, during my 20's.
Well, my 20's went by rather faster than I would have wished... I spent too much time, too high, and didn't give a shit. Having kids made me realize I was just letting life pass me by.
I wouldn't call it a lack of motivation, so much as focusing my motivation on something negative, escape.
Weed makes everything better, even a humdrum existence, and I used it to "get through" a bad period of time in my life. I now realize I could have done more if I'd fought that shit, instead of rolling joints.
I still smoke, but only one to three joints a day. I limit myself, and make certain I'm watching out for myself and my family, instead of my high.
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Drugs are a small but important part of my life and who I am. I have been doing drugs for long enough to know that my drug taking is more than a fad and I am lucky enough to not have an addictive personality so I keep my drug use recreational. I am open with friends and family and fuck anyone who feels superior enough to judge me.
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I try to take drugs at least a few times a week, but I'm often around people who are against anything illegal, so that doesn't always happen. Fortunately like the above poster I also don't have an addictive personality and can thus take addictive substances more often without worry.
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Yeah, I kind of lead a triple life.
I smoke as much as I can without coughing up lungs and such, but only my close friends know how much for sure.
My family knows I smoke, but not as much as I do, or anything about any of the other drugs I've been using.
My wife's family and my employer know nothing about my freakish nature.
The most difficult thing about all this, is when folks from each of these "worlds" try to mix, like on my birthdays, summer BBQs or other special events.
I can't have my friends over when my family is here, and I can't mix work either.
I've been smoking weed since 1990, I smoked pot heavily for about 10 years, during my 20's.
Well, my 20's went by rather faster than I would have wished... I spent too much time, too high, and didn't give a shit. Having kids made me realize I was just letting life pass me by.
I wouldn't call it a lack of motivation, so much as focusing my motivation on something negative, escape.
Weed makes everything better, even a humdrum existence, and I used it to "get through" a bad period of time in my life. I now realize I could have done more if I'd fought that shit, instead of rolling joints.
I still smoke, but only one to three joints a day. I limit myself, and make certain I'm watching out for myself and my family, instead of my high.
I resonate with this.
My family and wife know how much I smoke.
My in-laws have no clue.
My co-workers have no clue.
Too bad we all can't chill and puff out but I don't sweat it.
When I'm with the in-laws I'll sneak away and take a toke.
Weed is not for everyone. I don't drink coffee.
However, when they pour a cup I don't shoot them a dirty look or see them get fired.
The double standards, hypocrisy and arbitrary laws in the year 2012 are simply astounding.
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If a person does not know me as a good friend of Mary and Lucy, they are not my friend, because friends should know each other.
Now that is some deep shit. +1
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Being a friend is a two way street. If you want respect you have to earn it. If you want to take drugs all day I highly doubt you will earn enough respect anywhere to forge any meaningful relationships.
Or you could go hang out with other drug users but I see a lot of those friendship revolve around the drugs, and are quite shallow.
I know it sounds ironic here, but drugs aren't everything. Go live a real, meaningful, fulfilling life. Drugs only augment that.
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to OP: I feel similarly. I don't usually have the most active social life, but I have a good group of friends. What I am lacking is any serious love life. I guess drugs help me fill that void.
Unfortunately, I am not a fan of weed, lol. So i rely on pharms most of the time, which usually only lends itself to a few months of happy followed by a crash and burn. But i've always thought that live is too long and shitty to be sober all the time. I consider religion to be a drug, because some people seem to be ok with their crappy lives and all the shitty stuff they do by listening to some preacher blow a bunch of jesus sunshine up their ass. I'm not trying to offend anybody, that's just how I see it.
ps. as an agnostic, my life is more important than yours if you believe in jesus, lol. think about it.
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There's a lot of good points here and I wish I had time to address them all fully (maybe later).
Business makes good points as ever(I'm coming to respect his contributions highly) but I feel it's missing the mark (or hitting close to home if I'm deluding myself). I'm steadily increasing my drug usage and experimenting with more because I feel drugs enhance reality and make it better. I have my problems (that I won't share since everyone has some) that drugs help me deal with and makes me feel more optimistic and energetic about the world.
If we were all flawless humans that ran at a perfect biorhythm or physiological synchronicity maybe life would be acceptable and enjoyable for everyone--but I don't think anybody works that way. I have anxiety and lots of different drugs make that manageable and makes my life better and then I'm more outgoing. If I tried to get these fixes from a doc I'd be laughed away more likely than not.
Religion used to be a blindfold for me so I know what one of the above posters meant when he talked about religion. It is a drug-like experience.
To the OP I would suggest that deception is best kept simple. If you can have one life with things hidden that you share with everyone and then your true self you can share with those you truly trust it might make things a little easier. I appreciate the idea about people who can't accept you don't deserve to be your friends, and maybe I've just lowered my standards too far so I can be accepted, but keep in mind that when you decide to share the other part of yourself with someone you are fighting against a whole life of conditioning.
Unless they are experimenters or particularly open-minded they will knee-jerk react to your use as being bad. I don't blame people for this thought process. It's easy to become deaf to different ideas when society constantly tries to drill some universal(read: socially accepted) truths into them. Most people are trapped their whole lives with constant enforcement of what is bad and what is good.
Most people will staunchly see drugs as bad and you as a victim(or, worst case, a junkie) in denial.
I hope for the best though. If any of what I said is bleak, I want to clarify that I do have good friendships that I value, but I lost my best friend a couple years ago--the one I shared my deepest secrets with--because she believed that certain things were bad and turned away from me when she discovered another part of me.
Cheers
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I also have little to no friends because I am too caring and I don't get that in return. I can put my self in others all too well and feel their sadness, others can not return this kind of dedication. I am loyal till death and I will do anything to keep my loved ones and friends out of harms way.
I started smoking too much weed when I was going through severe depression at a young age around 14, and it just escalated to the point where I was literally doing anything to smoke at anytime for years. The reason I believe I have lost many friends since then is because you are constantly stoned and your almost thinking about the problems constantly or just escaping it for the time being. Once the high wears off you may feel all right or even good but that is usually just for a bit. Then you got to get stoned again, and the vicious cycle starts all over. When you are totally stoned, you lose many skills in communicating with others. This is ESPECIALLY bad if you already have bad anxiety. It is well known that weed causes the part of the brain that controls paranoia to act up. This only gets worse as you smoke more and more. This is just from my own experience and from hearing from many others. I have heard too many times that after years of smoking people get paranoid too much and anxious for no reason. This becomes extremely bad when you are trying to socialize, every move, every word you speak you are getting more paranoid and anxious. Always constantly wondering if you are being looked down at, if you said something stupid, if the girl thinks you aren't good looking, all these things add up and you start too lose massive amounts of self-confidence. Eventually you start losing even the best of friends because you never want to go out or when you do you're not on their level of socializing and usually look like someone that has been tied up in a basement for 10 years. This again just continually adds up and all you want to do is get stoned so your either too dumb to think or just forget about it for a short amount of time.
I unfortunately found this out way too late. Now I have almost no close friends and it is a very shitty life and no one should experience this. I get rather upset when I see friends and guys with girls always laughing and talking to each other, I miss having close friends.
The only thing too not go through this (assuming you are all adults) is too simply cut down by a A LOT. If you smoke a bowl of .3-.4( I used to smoke .5-.6 bowls to my face every couple of hours for years), smoke only .1-2 and smoke way later in the day or none at all. Another way is to take very long breaks, preferably weeks to months. This will snap you back in to reality and make you more aware of what is happening around you and to your self. It also keeps the tolerance down.
Sorry for the long post, but I needed to share my part as I've always wanted to talk to people about this problem.
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No, it's not inherently wrong to take drugs all the time.
It's likely, however, that there is an underlying problem in somebody that is constantly using drugs. I am not trying to insinuate anything about you or your life, but many constant drug users have social issues. They are anti-social in nature -- they don't feel comfortable around other people or socializing is not appealing. For many of these folks, drugs eventually become a way to spend time by oneself and retain the euphoria, sleepiness, excitement, or emotions that they simply lack due to their own natures. Soon, people pick up on the fact that one is willing to get high but not hang out with people. The separation persists, with the drug user apathetic or in denial about his life.
I am similar to you and somewhat similar to the aforementioned generality that is the antisocial drug user. I prefer not to give out the details about myself to an essentially public forum. I will say that I am in the top percentile or fraction of said percentile in terms of IQ. My work performance is exceptional and I was at or near the top in just about every topic at high school and college. All around, I am exceptionally talented. But no amount of raw intelligence and determination has helped me socialize. I'm at worst just slightly awkward around people and I get along with and chat with people without issue. Intimacy is what I lack. I don't have a girl to cuddle with or to tell my true thoughts to.
Despite the consistent success in other areas of life, my love life becomes dependably not existent. Hope is lost. I subtly submit to substance. A joint to hang out with friends? Why the hell not? Drugs offer me what life cannot: reliable and calculated emotions. If I pack a bowl, I get high. If I eat some benzos, I relax and sleep peacefully. If I snort heroin, I feel sedation and euphoria. If I use a stimulant, I get shit done. If I eat some tabs of acid or DOx, I see life from a different perspective for several hours. The drugs become useful and dependable tools. They let me waste my life in a way that's more pleasurable than I would by default.
Let us live, my Lesbia, let us love,
and all the words of the old, and so moral,
may they be worth less than nothing to us!
Suns may set, and suns may rise again:
but when our brief light has set,
night is one long everlasting sleep.
Give me a thousand kisses, a hundred more,
another thousand, and another hundred,
and, when we’ve counted up the many thousands,
confuse them so as not to know them all,
so that no enemy may cast an evil eye,
by knowing that there were so many kisses.
-- Catullus
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Is taking drugs at 0500 on a Monday morning before you go to work a bad idea?
Is having a joint with some friends relaxing on a Saturday night a bad idea?
Snoopish basically said it all in his first post though. I'm pretty libertarian. We're here for one life, after that it's all over folks. If I get an immense pleasure out of taking cocaine once every three months and don't let it affect my work, family, finances, etc. then no way is some government bureaucrat going to tell me I can't. He can shove it right up his ass (although snorting better).
The one big exception is what do you plan for your future? If you ever dream of emigrating a lot of countries won't let you in with drug convictions and they stay for life. Is that joint worth it? When I had to go Brazil for 6 months for my company before | could get a work permit |I had to write to Foreign Office under FoI to show any criminal convictions I had before they would grant work visa. Any job which requires sanctioned qualifications (chartered engineer, ,lawyer (obv), doctor, accountant|) most compsnies now will ask for copes of your criminal convictions, sometimes even for run of the mill jobs.
AXC
If you enjoy taking so much that you're willing to take that risk (and it is small go for it, just know the facrs going in. Prohibition harms people more than drugs, IMO.