Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Rush Limbo on May 07, 2012, 07:08 pm
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Hi there! So I may need to have to pass a piss test in about 2 weeks, perhaps sooner. I'm an everyday weed smoker, though I don't smoke much when I do (usually 2 on-hitters, those that look like cigarettes, per night, every night). Let's just say that an 1/8oz lasts me a month or so. I really do not smoke A LOT, but I do smoke every day.
So, please help me pass the piss test (new career may depend on it). Last smoke I had was last night (Sunday the 6th of May).
Other than not smoking AT ALL for next two weeks, what do I do? Lot's of water? Other liquids? Foods? Any and all recommendation welcome!
Thanks Gang!
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Cranberry Juice.
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2 weeks you should be fine, drink lots, eat good and exercise , and oh yeah dont smoke :)
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Depends on the test.
Preemployment?
Solution is dilution.
Drink lots of water before test.
Piss before test.
Take vitamin B for yellow pee.
There's another compound the test is see if diluted but I forget what it was.
Give middle of stream, no beginning, no end part of the piss cycle.
I have smoked the night before a test, and I consume much cannabis ;)
There is much on this subject on the clearnet.
A fake dick, with fake piss works too, if the temp is correct.
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Hey man. I recently had to go through this because I was put on probation and had to pass my piss test. I basically learned that there's no way to speed it up. It's all theories. I was an everyday smoker and a heavy one. It took me 3 weeks to get clean. That being said I failed my first piss test. I've never tried it but I've heard bad things about those "detox" drinks. My rehab buddies (haha) said they still failed after use. Keep in mind this is all official probation drug screens and they're expensive so they work really well also. Cheaper one don't do the job that great so who knows. Also everyone is different at the speeds it leaves so you might get lucky.
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Take creatine (pills or powder) and/or eat lots of red meat until test. You need to produce creatinine in order to increase your urine's specific gravity. Also, drink gatorade along with water the day of, take niacin and take aspirin and tums the day before and day of.
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Take creatine (pills or powder) and/or eat lots of red meat until test. You need to produce creatinine in order to increase your urine's specific gravity. Also, drink gatorade along with water the day of, take niacin and take aspirin and tums the day before and day of.
Ahh, that was it!
and do the pee thing.
Mine checked the temperature, and color, not specific gravity, that I could see.
Preemployment tests are cheap, and have a threshold minimum. A few false negatives are better than false positives.
If they are doing the more expensive test, you better be clean :(
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cranberry juice, water and exercise(sweat alot)
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I have nothing constructive to add, other than to say, fuck ANY job that involves piss testing. Unless they are paying you to be on the clock 24/7, it is not their business what you ingest in your own time.
I've been out of the job market for a while anyway, and I think I will remain that way, if this is the current state of things. :(
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If you want piece of mind that everything has worked, go to your local pharmacy (CVS is where I found it) and get a single MJ piss test. Take it a day before the test. Def calms the nerves if you know you're good the day before. Good luck bro!
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You can also pick up some detox stuff anyway just to be sure along with drinking lots of water and cranberry.
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There is no sure fire way to get clean, aside from abstaining for an entire month before the test, if you're an everyday smoker. One time I went clean for an entire month, had a negative drop, and on the next one it turned up positive. If you're in good shape and eat healthy, that obviously will help you out. Drink a ton of water a day, and piss like 15-20 times a day. Excercise as well, in an attempt to burn away some of the fat the THC has been bound to. Don't trust detox. That shit can run upwards of $50, and it isn't a guarantee.
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Two weeks is plenty o' time brutha. Plenty o' water and exercise. There is a drink at most healthfood stores that you can drink the night before your test (dont smoke the whole day your taking it) and it coats your stomach with an insulation if you will.. and when you piss it your going to drain any contents inside that insulation blanket. Hope Ive helped..
-SnG
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Do JWH-XXX show up on drug tests? probably a stupid question..
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Do JWH-XXX show up on drug tests? probably a stupid question..
anything JWH shouldn't show up since it's not the same chemical formula as good ol' delta-9-THC
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I wouldn't bank on being clean in 2 weeks doing anything. I've passed countless drug tests in my life while smoking, even smoking the same day, the last one I failed was because I hadn't smoked in 1.5 months and assumed I was clean, and was wrong.
You need time before you take your test, and drink water, LOTS OF WATER. You're going to feel like if you drink anymore water you'll puke, force another bottle down. After your piss is clear in color you know you've had enough water, but still drink another 1 or 2 bottles on the way to the test.
Now I've pissed clear water and passed tests, and others I've pissed clear water and had them tell me I would have to either try again or come back another day. If that happens, I go to the headshop and pick up an Omni pill ($40-$50) and do the same as above again, but pop the pill in after I'm pissing clear, drink another bottle and then go to my test. This has never failed me, as the Omni pill contains the creatine and other levels expected in your piss.
That has never failed me, the only reason I don't take the Omni pill before hand is usually just water works so I can save the $50.
The one thing to remember is if you're in the waiting room a long time, you'll end up having to piss, if you do then do NOT take the test or you will fail. That was the only time this has ever failed me.
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Guys and Girls, Thank you for all the advice! Today is my second day off weed, I have a phone interview Friday, and before they'll make me a final offer (cross your fingers!) and require a piss test should be at least two weeks, at least that's how I'm going to play it.
Little bit of background while trying not to reveal too much about who I am: So I've been with this software company for last 3+ years, started below "ground floor", been employee number 30 or so. Watched the place grow and have developed most of the software that powers the every day operations. Yesterday, along with about 70% of other people there, I got laid off. I'm getting my last full paycheck in two weeks (since I'm officially employed till Friday) and that's fucking it! No severance payment, nothing! Great fucking treatment for 3 years and 3 months of service.
On top of everything else, my wife is a stay home mom who takes care of our two little kids (three and a half year old boy and twenty month old girl) so I'm the only provider for the household, AND we just bought a house two months ago and I've made my first mortgage payment last week. My monthly financial requirements are right around $3,500 per month, not including food and gas. Fortunately I have some savings, around $20,000 in a money market, and $8,000 in a Roth IRA that I can draw from if needed. Also have a title to one car that I could sell and get around $15,000. To make things worse, I was being grossly overpaid at my last job, and am looking at around $50,000 pay cut to bring me back to standard pay for my position and market conditions where I'm at.
So you see, the situation is dire. I need to find a new job fast and try to avoid burning through all my savings. Hence the need to pass a piss test!!! I'll stock up on cranberry juice (and vodka :) ), stop smoking until I have an offer in hand! Good thing I have a ton of LorTabs on prescription :-D
Thanks again for all the advice guys, and please cross your fingers and wish me well on my phone interview this Friday!
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Get the Wizzinator(fake dick) and some fake piss. Worked for me. Just remember to practice with it first.
A lot of the other stuff can work, but I've learned that it can't be trusted 100%. You can't go wrong with fake pee as long as you keep it warm.
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All the detox drinks are bullshit. Don't waste your money..the only reason people ever passed using those was because it was an instant result cheap test and their piss was dilute since those drinks are like 32 ounces and they tell you to drink like 32 more ounces of water or something..It's a waste of time and money..don't buy one.
I'm assuming you live in the US...if so then it is illegal for them to observe you while you pee for an employment drug test. You will be alone in a bathroom so no need to waste money on a wizzanator like one person suggested.
Google "substitution method + drug test" and read up. What I recommend is finding someone clean..perhaps your wife to pee for you either a few hours before the test or if you need it ahead of time freeze it and then thaw it out. Put the pee in one of those 5 hour energy bottles and an hour before the test place it in some sort of container of very hot water. Continue to change the water out every 20 minutes or so and then wear 2 pairs of boxer briefs and crouch that bottle. Go in there smiling sit down and wait until it's your turn and go in the bathroom and simply poor it in.
It's that simple...you will not be observed!
Keep in mind this is very easy but you should also practice this. If you want you can purchase a cheap sticky thermometer for aquariums to see how much the temp drops in a certain amount of time.
I've gotten several jobs using this method and good thing for you is that you have 2 whole weeks to practice.
Good luck! ;D
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to OP. first of all, part of your creative thinking comes from the herb.. instead of testing you, they should be supplying you ;)
Second, not an US citizen myself, but some friend of mine who started working there were told they could potentially get a test. and shit happened. So perhaps you could casually check if they actually are going to test you somehow.
For the rest, lots has been mentioned already. Only thing i'd like to add is take loads of sauna's (combined with excersise).
But if you really really don't want to take any chances (which i can imagine being in your place) i'd go for the clean piss substitute.
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I have nothing constructive to add, other than to say, fuck ANY job that involves piss testing. Unless they are paying you to be on the clock 24/7, it is not their business what you ingest in your own time.
I've been out of the job market for a while anyway, and I think I will remain that way, if this is the current state of things. :(
+1 for you what happened to the 5th amendment?
But we "free" people in the US of A have to pee in a cup to get a job.
It's a joke. You don't need to spend any money just dilute your piss, and pass the color/heat/gravity tests.
It sucks, way it is. Someday people will shake their heads.
It's like TSA security, drug tests keep everybody happy cause they think drug users shouldn't have a job, the country is safer now.
Stealing is better. ::)
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there is a product called stat emergency flush. i worked in a head shop off and on for almost a decade, and it is the only detox product i will use myself. you can find it online for 25 bucks, or check your local gnc or head shop.
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I used to know a few guys who worked offshore on the oil rigs - they would be drug tested after each period of shore leave.
There trick seemed to be to get home on shore leave, take every drug they could find going and the day before they were due back they would drink alcohol like crazy all day, said it hid everything theyd been taking and they were on the rigs for a good number of years.
So stay drunk my friend and at least if it does go tits up it wont phase you.
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I have nothing constructive to add, other than to say, fuck ANY job that involves piss testing. Unless they are paying you to be on the clock 24/7, it is not their business what you ingest in your own time.
I've been out of the job market for a while anyway, and I think I will remain that way, if this is the current state of things. :(
+1 for you what happened to the 5th amendment?
But we "free" people in the US of A have to pee in a cup to get a job.
It's a joke. You don't need to spend any money just dilute your piss, and pass the color/heat/gravity tests.
It sucks, way it is. Someday people will shake their heads.
It's like TSA security, drug tests keep everybody happy cause they think drug users shouldn't have a job, the country is safer now.
Stealing is better. ::)
Thanks mate. I live in the UK, and for all the 1984-style shit that goes on here, piss testing seems to be relatively recent for employment purposes, and is not yet the norm here. I've seen it mentioned for a few years on US forums, and i'm amazed at how quickly it's been normalized over there. Someone even gave me a -1 within a minute of posting my above comment, as if I had said something stupid. :o
So you see, the situation is dire. I need to find a new job fast and try to avoid burning through all my savings.
Grow weed. Seriously.
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Pre employment drug screenings are not mandated by government, it is simply a privately owned firm deciding to "weed" out (pardon the pun) folks who are drug users. There are also many places that refuse to hire you if you smoke cigarettes. It may suck for you, but if I owned a company, I would want a hell of a lot of say in who I could hire.
Government is not forcing the company to piss test you.
Also... From a friend who works in HR at a large business. All piss tests test for marijuana, but not all companies refuse to hire someone who tests positive for it. A lot of the companies are making sure the potential employee isnt smoking meth or shooting dope. She has told me they have hired many folks who failed the THC test.
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Like I said before...the substitution method WILL work. Dilution method will probably work. Those detox drinks don't work so don't waste your money on one. If you're going to dilute follow the instructions on the forum that pops up after googling "dilution method + drug test" if you buy a b complex its only like 5 bucks and it will make your pee yellow even though you are only excreting water none of the metabolites they are testing for (it's the B2 not the B12 that makes the urine bright yellow). With all that said, get someone you know who is clean to piss in a bottle for you and use it..you won't even have to quit smoking man. It's as simple as that.
To UKGROWER I completely agree with you...If I bust my ass all day when I go home I should be allowed to enjoy a spliff. That's better than getting drunk off my ass and showing up late to work or calling in sick because i'm too hungover to come in. What a joke...
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Pre employment drug screenings are not mandated by government, it is simply a privately owned firm deciding to "weed" out (pardon the pun) folks who are drug users. There are also many places that refuse to hire you if you smoke cigarettes. It may suck for you, but if I owned a company, I would want a hell of a lot of say in who I could hire.
Government is not forcing the company to piss test you.
Also... From a friend who works in HR at a large business. All piss tests test for marijuana, but not all companies refuse to hire someone who tests positive for it. A lot of the companies are making sure the potential employee isnt smoking meth or shooting dope. She has told me they have hired many folks who failed the THC test.
Your HR folks know the cheap THC tests aren't reliable.
They must do the gas chromatography method, expensive.
Very possible to loose a lawsuit over a false positive.
Plus it's stays in the system for over a month.
Having some in you system, does it really ID you as a regular user?
A few people have sued, and obviously won.
The government is most assuredly encouraging employers to piss test. It's part of contractual requirements.
This in turn forces the companies who do work for these companies to also piss test.
In the line of work the above member is in, nearly %100 of employers tests.
Also most places drug test if you get hurt on the job as well.
Don't mean to get into a pissing contest (pardon the pun), but offer another view.
Anyhow lots of good info, and different opinions.
I think you will pass with flying colors. 2 weeks to study!
Best of luck!
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If you've ever seen the TV show Blue Mountain State, you've probably heard of an Oil Change before. Basically go give a little kid ten bucks to pee in a cup for you, then inject the clean urine up your urethra before the test and Bam! You pass, simple as that. :P
"Preforming an 'Oil Change' is a highly effective way of passing urine screenings. One can use a catheter or direct injection of clean urine into ones bladder to pass a urine screening; the latter can lead to higher infection rates, which is not to say that the former is an infection free method. Both are painful and should be preformed as a last resort with properly sterilized equipment."
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If you've ever seen the TV show Blue Mountain State, you've probably heard of an Oil Change before. Basically go give a little kid ten bucks to pee in a cup for you, then inject the clean urine up your urethra before the test and Bam! You pass, simple as that. :P
"Preforming an 'Oil Change' is a highly effective way of passing urine screenings. One can use a catheter or direct injection of clean urine into ones bladder to pass a urine screening; the latter can lead to higher infection rates, which is not to say that the former is an infection free method. Both are painful and should be preformed as a last resort with properly sterilized equipment."
I don't think I'll be doing an oil change :-)
So far I've stay away form it for a week now. Hopefully by the time piss test comes around I'll be clean. I don't expect an offer for another 7-10 days, so I think I should be ok???
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Cannabis can last in your fat cells for up to a month.
So popping positive does not denote daily usage.
Preemployment tests are normally the cheap test.
I'd say maybe.
Why chance it?
There a few good suggest that aren't too painful.
Whatever you do never give your morning pee, that has a lot of goodies in it.
No beginning, no ending pee either.
Isn't being free, the greatest?
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9 days off so far, and I'm not even sweating it! wow, weed must be really addictive cuz shit, i ain't on it for that long and no issues (sarcasm here, duh).
does the amount of weed smoke affect how soon i'll be clean? i never smoked more than 2 1-hitters a night; my total nightly consumption was between 4-8 good inhales MAX.
is there a test I can get in US pharmacies that will help me make a determination?
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you can buy the home piss test ones but you might show neg on that and positive on the real deal, those cheap piss tests aint 100% accurate
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Good luck to you hope you get the job :) I'm glad I'm living in a country where drug testing employees and future employees is not allowed except for in the military and police. Or else i would be unemployed now i think lol. It's not a employers business what you do on your own free time i say
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This might sound random but sometimes a better option if you KNOW you are going to fail is to completely fuck the test, add bleach or some other peroxide and watch the examiners face as they wonder how you can be alive.
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Been two weeks exactly, not one puff of weed. Do you think I'm ready for a piss test? I haven't smoked much when I did, but I did smoke every day.
Another reason I'm going clean is so that I can do a pain clinic and get some meds :-)
Should I wait another week or two, or do you think I'm good to go?
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well if you have the option to wait a bit longer then take it.
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Just go buy a cheap test at the grocery store and see for yourself. If you fail that one, then you sure as hell know you're going to fail the real one. :P
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Just go buy a cheap test at the grocery store and see for yourself. If you fail that one, then you sure as hell know you're going to fail the real one. :P
+1 I'd like to add you should take the home drug test first thing in the morning. That is when your metabolite levels will be the highest..expect to fail. Then later that day take another test...make sure this time you have drank a decent amount of water or Gatorade throughout the day and had to pee at least 3 or 4 times since your first pee in the morning. This time allow your pee to go into the toilet for the first few seconds...catch the middle of your stream until theres enough in the cup and then make sure the pee towards the end is going back into the toliet. You may just pass this one because your metabolite levels are lowest in the middle of your stream and towards the end of the day. If you pass this one you have a good chance of passing the real one.
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Guys, it's been 18 days since I last smoked, DO YOU THINK IT'S SAFE TO GO TO A PAIN CLINIC AND PEE IN A CUP~?!?
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Buy a 5 dollar thc home drug test man and then youll know for sure.
Why risk it? Just go to a drug store and find out..i think theres ample information here for you to be able to pass if you really want/try to pass.
Best of luck. ;)
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Guys, it's been 18 days since I last smoked, DO YOU THINK IT'S SAFE TO GO TO A PAIN CLINIC AND PEE IN A CUP~?!?
We've already told you to test yourself with a cheap test from the store, so stop fucking ignoring us if you're serious. Honestly, is it that difficult for you to read or something? >:(
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Guys, it's been 18 days since I last smoked, DO YOU THINK IT'S SAFE TO GO TO A PAIN CLINIC AND PEE IN A CUP~?!?
We've already told you to test yourself with a cheap test from the store, so stop fucking ignoring us if you're serious. Honestly, is it that difficult for you to read or something? >:(
Tested myself... at the pain clinic... walked out with a script for 90 8mg oxymorphon so i guess i passed :D