Silk Road forums
Market => Rumor mill => Topic started by: blueveil on December 22, 2012, 05:46 am
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Whats up Guys!?
BV here with a nice comfy spot here at the drum circle. Enjoying the vibes and planning out some good trips. You should be too! And here is where you can post up some righteous trip reports. This thread is dedicated to my customers so that they have an outlet to share the wonderful or terrifying experiences they had while on mushrooms. I will contribute often so be on the lookout for some interesting stories and adventures as I tend to have a pretty good time often. Also this thread is not just limited to mushroom users that purchased from me. Feel free to leave trip reports from any vendors mushrooms as long as they are only mushroom reports. I don't want some random Heroin story in the middle of the drum circle messing up all these sweet sweet vibes going on. Looking forward to hearing from everyone soon and will post some myself ASAP.
Best Regards,
-BV 8)
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Hello, fellow psychonauts! This is one of my first posts on the forum and I apologize in advance for the wall of text. I won't be bothered one bit if you choose not to read the whole thing! =)
I've snagged shrooms (mostly capsules, but also some galindoi chocolate bars) from a few SR vendors, including a decent-sized stockpile from BV. I've smoked weed for years, played around with hash a bit when I got on the road, and just recently started getting into psychedelics. My experiences have been utterly fascinating so far and I've started doing a bunch of reading on LSD and DMT and such and might even be branching out soon. For the time being, though, I'm sticking to shrooms as my entry point to the inner world, and sticking with BV as my primary go-to guy because the experience I've had has pretty much changed my life over the last couple of months. I shit you not: many years of various neuroses, anxieties, insecurities, and self-loathing seemed to vanish in the days and weeks following my first major trip. I won't go into detail about all of the positive effects, but suffice it to say that I feel like I'm on a much better path than I was prior to this experimentation. YMMV, of course =).
I'll leave out the experiential details of my first couple of trips, which were mostly all at smaller doses. I think I started with 1.5g-2g in a chocolate bar, and mostly just "felt funny" for a number of hours (and puked, wee!), although I did notice that I felt more introspective than normal (which is saying something...). I waited a week or so to go again, this time with a tad more. I noticed I was more empathic towards people I cared about, and was UTTERLY FUCKING FASCINATED by the antics of my pets. That's it -- again, nothing really too crazy. I did, however, feel a kind of soft awareness of my own presence in the world and a kindness towards myself and others that it seemed like I had forgotten somehow in my journey thus far through adulthood (I'm in my 30s).
However, a while after these initial trips (this was back in the beginning of October) I suddenly felt the urge (or did "I"? :) to check out a Zen Buddhist center and begin a meditation practice. This is something I'd been reading about for years but it was all essentially theoretical. I started going to a local zendo, took some meditation/posture classes, and started doing zazen (seated meditation) almost daily for time segments of 35 minutes or more. Started some yoga classes at the gym, too, and started eating a little bit better. It seemed that I had discovered a newfound clarity of experience, an equanimity of reasoning, a new emotional stability, and found myself feeling happier and more tranquil than I had in as long as I can remember. I could write about this part for a while, but I'll stop here before I bore you to death with my ramblings (don't worry, plenty more ramblings below)!
Anyway, I knew I was onto something. I ordered an oz from BV and decided to try a stronger dose. Having read so much (as you all have, I'm sure) about the importance of set and setting, I ate very little early one Saturday morning, lit some incense, did some meditation, and thought a bit about what I'd like to experience. I admit I don't have all that much experience with drugs and I'm a pussy when it comes to putting new substances into my body. Then, when I felt ready and had successfully quenched some of the anxiety that had come up about what I might experience at a higher dose, I took 12 caps (a little under 5g) with some orange juice. From what I understand, this is a relatively high dose and I was expecting some potentially crazy shit to happen.
For the first hour and a half or so, I listened to some relaxing music and generally just puttered around. I think I might have read a little bit too while waiting for things to kick in. Although it was a relatively nice day, it was a bit overcast outside, and I wasn't comfortable going out until I knew how I was going to be affected. I went into the bathroom and spent what seemed like a very long time looking at myself in the mirror. What I saw bothered me a little, because it was all fleshy and sinewy, somewhat like a mask made out of skin, and not entirely like "my" familiar face. However, I still knew it was me after spending some time looking into its eyes. I did get a little unnerved at one point when I was leaning into the mirror, because I had the sensation that the mirror was made of some kind of thin filament and it wasn't actually reflecting anything at all: that the figure I saw on the other side was really someone else that looked like me, and I half expected it to start moving of its own accord. I thought of a video game I played in my youth, the original Prince of Persia, and laughed a bit at the recollection. I also remember being really amused by how I could look off to the side while still facing the mirror, and when I glanced back the reflection had not moved but was still staring straight ahead. This is a pretty easy effect to reproduce even while not under the influence, but while tripping I found it absolutely fascinating that I could not fully observe myself looking in any direction other than straight ahead.
I can't remember if it was on this trip, or one that preceded it, but at one point I looked into the mirror and felt the absolute certainty that I was going to die eventually, and that that was okay, but also that somehow I'd miss myself terribly when that happened. I stroked my own face as if I were my own lover and even cried a little bit. Whoah.
Some time later, still feeling quite relaxed and centered, I decided that I'd take my dog for a walk. As I'd said, it was overcast, but the sun was shining and the weather was comfortable. She and I walked down the street for a bit, and I was focused intently on the soft scraping and crunching sounds made by my feet, and her paws, on the gravel. I walked past a telephone pole with some kind of large transformer on the outside of it, buzzing away with a loud THRUMMMM. I stood a few feet away from it for a little while, patting my dog on the head and thinking about the ominous noise and how much energy must be flowing through it, and how quickly, in order to make the metal plates wobble at this precise frequency. I thought of Serial Experiments: Lain and how disturbing I used to find the scenes that had the buzzing transformer.
As I walked further down the road, I passed a bunch of mostly-dried/dead foilage on my right. Brambles, small shrubs, and some fairly twiggy trees. There was a light breeze that caused them to ripple and sway a bit, but I had the distinct impression that they were aware of my presence, and it seemed as if I could sense their surprise. I didn't think that this literally happened, of course, and was still holding onto an incredibly skeptical mindset, but the poetry of the moment was such that I felt "recognized" or "acknowledged" by the plant life. It was a pretty sweet feeling, albeit a tad on the bizarre side.
I walked to the edge of a cemetery down the street and stood at the fence for a while looking in. I come to this place every now and then, not because I know anyone there or anything, but because I find cemeteries quite peaceful places and, after all, it's just right down the street from where I live. My dog waited patiently next to me as I leaned against the fence and let my gaze fall onto the ground a bit in front of where I was standing. I noticed some warping and whorling of the grass and dirt textures, as if everything was sort of blending and mixing together slowly. As I lifted my gaze up to take in a bit more of the landscape, I was somewhat startled to realize that it seemed as if the earth itself was breathing slowly. I did a bit of a double-take because it was such a bizarre perception, but sure enough: the blending and mixing was taking place if I focused on a very small spot of the ground, but if I looked out over more of it, it seemed to be slowly moving up and down, as if it were something significantly less solid than how it is normally perceived -- as if it were floating atop some kind of wave. I remember thinking in that moment that the earth itself was truly alive, just like me, or perhaps that I was alive, just like the earth. Or something like that. It's kind of hard to describe.
Anyway, after this I walked back home and started coming back down, had a wonderfully relaxed evening, and woke up the next day feeling better than I had in years. Note that I consider myself to be a militant agnostic, a hardcore skeptic, and generally a bit of an intellectual. Philosophy has been a hobby of mine for many years, and I haven't had a belief in any kind of transcendence since my naive youth. This experience, however, I have to say, is probably the most "spiritual" I've ever had, and seems to only be more remarkable the more I've thought about it since it occurred.
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I'm very satisfied with my 12-cap trip and am looking forward to the next time I get to go exploring. However, I do have a question for you more experienced trippers. Based on what I've read, I was expecting an even more extreme experience at that dose. I've heard 5g+ being described as the point where things can start to get really nutty: ego death, moments of eternity, feeling like one has left the body, and even some crazy stories about various kinds of closed-eye hallucinations. I didn't really experience any of those things, nor did I ever feel like I had lost control of anything -- this could have perhaps been me not letting go enough, being overly skeptical and cautious about the experience, i.e. in some way holding myself back, but I'm curious to hear if anyone thinks that I should simply increase the dose next time if I want to go beyond the experience that I had.
I don't think I would have ever been able to experience this kind of thing without SR and without BV's amazing shrooms. As I said at the start of this very long trip report, it is deeply changing my life in positive ways. Thank you *so*, *so*, very much!
torus19
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Fantastic trip report. If I hadn't already, I would rep you for such detail. Interestingly enough, I have yet to experience "Ego Death" from mushrooms at all. I am generally willing to do around 7g for a SUPER intense ride, but honestly I feel that a lot of the reports you read from people that experience ego death are either inexperienced/low tolerance mushroom users or are just liars. That's really why I created this thread so that newer users can find out the truth on what to expect when you trip. I enjoy the oneness I have with the Earth and the people around me just like you felt the vegetation basically calling to you. The Earth breathing is an interesting phenomenon that I see from time to time too but I generally witness trees doing it instead. Remember folks that mushrooms SLOW down the mind instead of speeding it up despite popular misconceptions. You are far more likely to have CEV(close eyed visuals), and should be able with time to control those CEV's with your mind to show you whatever you want like a blank canvas waiting for you to paint. I have seen some basic OEV's(open eyed visuals), but I more chalk that up to my mind playing tricks on me as they were never full on objects like a walking animal or something similar you would see in popular tv, movies, and other media. Each person's experience will be drastically different based on the mood and general mindset of that person. Again if anyone needs set or setting advice to get a particular result contact me and I will do my best to assist you in setting up your trip area for this.
-BV 8)
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Interestingly enough, I have yet to experience "Ego Death" from mushrooms at all. I am generally willing to do around 7g for a SUPER intense ride, but honestly I feel that a lot of the reports you read from people that experience ego death are either inexperienced/low tolerance mushroom users or are just liars.
That's very interesting, and actually makes quite a bit of sense. I realized after the ~5g trip that perhaps what I'd read about were merely severe exaggerations on some things I did experience. For example, re: "moments of eternity" it wasn't as if I were out in the cosmos beyond space and time, as some folks have written about, but that instead my attention was so focused on something in the moment that, in retrospect, I simply hadn't been aware of time's passage. That actually happened quite a bit. Likewise, with "ego death" -- it's not so much that the ego dissolved completely because of the mushroom, but rather that I had the experience of being able to "observe the observer." That is, that the experience of oneself had a slightly different character. I could imagine how for people that hadn't spent any time in their life on critical self-analysis or reflection, this could be an incredibly jarring experience and something which threatened their carefully-constructed and oh-so-solid sense of self. Anyway, the whole thing felt *much* more "naturalistic" and "normal" than I thought it would be.
Remember folks that mushrooms SLOW down the mind instead of speeding it up despite popular misconceptions.
Yeah, I'd read (not sure how much this is true) that one of the primary effects of psilocybin is that it *reduces* the amount of filtering of sensory input that is going on in the brain. The brain is always actively engaged in narrowing down sense experience to give you what you need to survive; the theory is that this was an evolutionary advantage. On shrooms this filtering is reduced, so nothing is being "added" to the world, but the brain's processing of it is actually significantly dampened -- you are, essentially, being subjected to a more raw, unfiltered experience of the physical world. I think one of the reasons why textures, sights, sounds, fabrics, etc., are so much more fascinating while tripping is because they are being actively experienced in this "unmediated" manner. I did notice a hyper-awareness in my peripheral vision as well: I'd see something like a flicker at the very edge of my vision, the sort of thing that is probably entirely dismissed as irrelevant, only to discover that I had detected the very slow motion of an ant crawling on the ground a number of feet away (or that kind of thing).
Each person's experience will be drastically different based on the mood and general mindset of that person. Again if anyone needs set or setting advice to get a particular result contact me and I will do my best to assist you in setting up your trip area for this.
Yeah, I'm happy to give any advice people may want detailing the kinds of things I did for a good trip too, if it helps anyone. I'm a novice at this but so far have had nothing but amazing experiences, although I did do a *ton* of reading about how to go about setting things up ahead of time. Also, there were a couple of times during the trip where I felt myself a bit startled/shocked/uncomfortable, and could see the points throughout the experience where it could have been "just too much" and led to a bad trip. It seemed that the work I had done beforehand in preparing my mindset and intention for where I wanted to go was pretty crucial to prevent anything too scary from coming up. Again, as they say, YMMV.
Happy trippin' peeps, we're among the privileged few in this crazy culture of ours.
torus19
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Hey blue
I am very interested in sampling your fine mushrooms.
I've done it many times and I've also done something people have yet done. 2C-E... is was completely mind blowing.
I post trip reviews for all my purchases and review all vendor on their official vendors thread.
My stats are great. I could really use this sample brother.
Thanks, I hope you select me. I wish you the best on SR