Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: HighAllDay96 on December 10, 2012, 04:36 am
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I am curious what are you're guys' thoughts on depression?
My thoughts: I am still in high school. There are very, very, very many people who claim to be depressed. I feel depression is real and those who need help should definitely seek help. However, most of the people I encounter say they are just for attention. It's not to hard to tell. I feel this is unfair to those who actually have depression. Also, way to many people are on anti-depressants these days. I used to have pretty bad anxiety and was prescribed Zoloft. I feel Zoloft was a very shitty thing to get prescribed and it never really helped. One day, after about 8 months, a good friend said to try and stop them for 30 days and see what happens. I did and my anxiety got 95% better. I think some of these medicines just make things worse.
I guess what else I'm asking is, to older members like 25+, when you were a kid and someone said they were depression what did they do about it?
HighAllDay96
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I've always had manageable depression, but had a panic attack mid January of this year. I got prescribed trazodone (anti-depressant/sleep pill) during my E.R. visit, then that was cancelled for some 2mg Anti-Psychotic for a month, then half then, now I've been off of it for around 9 months now. I also did about 2 months or so of therapy, with so-so results. The anti-psych. made me feel pretty shitty, and I felt better once I was off of it for sure. I still felt depressed and a bit suicidal for a month or so after, but I came through it fine on my own. I think the majority of cases that are legit usually turn out okay as long as the person has a good support system.
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Best thing to do as a teen is stay busy. The more time spent alone and doing nothing the worse you will feel. Find 2-3 different activities to do each week with different groups of people. Have friends to hang out with on the weekends.
If you have shitty friends, you don't do anything, always get in trouble then you will feel depressed. You will feel worthless and think anything you do will just be another fuck up. So try to do things you enjoy with people you enjoy. Have fun and enjoy the teen years. Get a job too and just try to have fun with the people you work with. Always having a negative outlook will make things worse.
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While it is true that some people fake depression are seeking attention, the most are genuine. Sometimes people who claim others are seeking attention, are themselves attention seekers who feel a little jealous and correspondingly put them down. Then of course there are the complete morons out there. Strong emotions are a sign of intelligence (not always, sometimes a sign of a lack of disipline) which explains why those who have few, and who never cry, test low on IQ.
They do need help, as in support. "No man is an island" -- no one is sulf-sufficient and metallic, not even me (and I've spent a lifetime trying to get rid of emotion :/ ). Antidressants help I feel. I'm on some right now. If you feel they don't work or that they make you drowsy, there are about 7 main types you can get; not all are the same, ask for a non-drowsy one. I was on valium when I was a kid and that was a DUMB idea (TY doctor). I was too young for valium. I've heard bad things about Zoloft, I would go for the lightest, non-drowsiest there is. Or if you want to skip drugs, St John's Wort has the same effect, just a little weaker, it's available at any health food store, chemist (or pharmacy in your country?) or supermarket (or grocery store?)
Best thing to do as a teen is stay busy. The more time spent alone and doing nothing the worse you will feel. Find 2-3 different activities to do each week with different groups of people. Have friends to hang out with on the weekends.
If you have shitty friends, you don't do anything, always get in trouble then you will feel depressed. You will feel worthless and think anything you do will just be another fuck up. So try to do things you enjoy with people you enjoy. Have fun and enjoy the teen years. Get a job too and just try to have fun with the people you work with. Always having a negative outlook will make things worse.
Spot on. Stay away from dickheads who just want to fight, come back in 5 years and see which street corner they're on. Hang out with people who want to go somewhere in life.
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You're right its not really hard to tell. If someone has depression and feels worthless its probably gonna come across, although obviously we're not all eeyore all the time - but maybe people have trouble believing the popular cheerleader has depression. But who knows maybe shes just better at hiding it. That nurse that killed herself recently was a tough lesson for 2 people though that not everyone reacts the same to things
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While it is true that some people fake depression are seeking attention, the most are genuine.
True, but in defense of some of those who seem as if they might be faking, they might just have never experienced true depression and claim to be depressed when they are really just having a bad day/week/etc. High school can be a screwy time for people though. Lots of things going on in life and lots of hormonal stuff going on in the brain, I think a lot of kids really do get depressed in high school at some point.
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Depression very often roots in a tragic childhood. Physical or psychological abuse leave bleeding scars in your subconsciousness that can not close until you really face them. "Bad trips" on psychedelics usually tear down the walls your mind built around these wounds and let you feel the suppressed pain again. Usually in full strength, which is, from my own experience, the most horrible feeling you can have in the world. Oh well, at least I know where all my suffering for the last 30 years came from. And now I can work it out.
More on the topic, and maybe one of the most important books that has ever been written:
Alice Miller: The demolition of silence.
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Best thing to do as a teen is stay busy. The more time spent alone and doing nothing the worse you will feel. Find 2-3 different activities to do each week with different groups of people. Have friends to hang out with on the weekends.
If you have shitty friends, you don't do anything, always get in trouble then you will feel depressed. You will feel worthless and think anything you do will just be another fuck up. So try to do things you enjoy with people you enjoy. Have fun and enjoy the teen years. Get a job too and just try to have fun with the people you work with. Always having a negative outlook will make things worse.
I read all of your replies, and I must say I like all of them. I especially like this one because it actually reflects me. I'm a senior and sometimes don't even know who my real friends are because a lot of them changed in to not so good people. It's true the best thing to do is stay busy. I almost do feel depressed sometimes when I wait for the weekend the entire week and then it arrives and I have nothing to do because my few actual real friends are busy. I never really thought about it that way thank you for the advice. Everyone else also gave advice.
HighAllDay96
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I can relate to that. Not exactly, but you know what I mean. I'm not really depressed anymore, it's just really annoying how many kids I see obviously faking it for attention.
HighAllDay96
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Wow, thank you for sharing. That is a lot of intense text.
I saw above you mentioned that weed helps a lot. I have a little story for you. About 3 years ago, during freshman year, I smoked weed for the first time. I enjoyed it, so for about the next year I smoked weed often and there was no problem. One day I had a panic attack for reasons still unknown to me. At that time I didn't know what was happening so I went to the ER. It wasn't a happy experience. I was on pills for awhile and therapy but long story short my anxiety is 95% better now. However, for some reason I can't smoke weed anymore. For some reason when I smoke it now, my heart rate increases and I have a mild to medium panic attack and it's not a good time. I used to love smoking weed and wish I still could. I haven't met anyone else ever that has those same effects with weed. For everyone else it helps anxiety and does not cause it.
HighAllDay96
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Depression, in my experience, is just a kind of vicious cycle - at least in the case of genetic type, depression caused by psychological or physical abuse could be a whole different ball game, I don't know since I'm fortunate to have the first kind. You feel shitty and inadequate and stupid and inferior and that causes you to have no passion or drive for life and then when you don't have that energy other people subconsciously feel that and are less attracted to you. And when people are less attracted to you you end up alone in your room thinking about how shitty and useless and alone you are because people seem to not like you.
It's all about breaking that cycle - find something that interests you that you can engage yourself in and stay occupied in and you'll find yourself with more energy for life in general and then you'll see that people will naturally gravitate towards you and you'll find yourself in a positive cycle instead of a downward spiral. Of course that's a hundred times easier said than done, especially when you feel like shit about yourself and your life every day but if you can find it in you to do it you'll feel exponentially better.
And work out!! it's common knowledge but it's so true that exercise can help depression and it definitely did in my case. You feel better naturally due to brain chemistry and all that but also because you start to look and feel healthier and better in general. Pharmaceuticals will do nothing but fuck your head up, exercise is the body's natural medicine and take advantage of that.
What helped me too was realizing that you ultimately make the decision to be happy or not. It's so little about your circumstances and so much about your attitude towards them. Sometimes (actually alot in my experience) some of the happiest people are in the worst situations.
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Thank you for input. Sometimes I find it hard to engage myself in stuff. I don't play sports anymore because I didn't want to play high school sports where it takes up all you're time and I was never all that good anyway. Most of people I know just want to sit around and smoke weed and/or drink all day. I actually have a job and a decent amount of money. I like going out and doing things. I often have a hard time finding people that actually want to go out and do things. They are either too lazy or don't want to spend money because they say they need it for better things. (Drugs or boos) It's often very annoying.
HighAllDay96
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I also quit smoking weed for about a year and went back to it and it still happens. I guess I'll just to wait until I'm ready. It also doesn't help that everyday for the longest time someone would ask me why don't you smoke weed? Even though they knew why. People my age can such inconsiderate dicks it's ridiculous. In high school, if you don't smoke weed it instantly makes you a little less "cool". I think that is also ridiculous.
HighAllDay96
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Sometimes, people who come across as faking depression to get attention, are still genuinely depressed, but act in strange ways because they don't yet know how to deal with it. So try not to pass judgement too quickly, as getting angry with a depressed kid for thinking he's just faking it will not help their depression one little bit.
When I was 16-17, I fell in love with a girl who I'd been good friends with since I was 9. I was so madly in love with her, but I also had my own issues of low self-esteem and depression. I used to self harm a lot, but would only do it knowing she would eventually see the wound - so yes, I was doing it for attention. But looking back, the reason I did it was that; to see somebody who I loved show that they cared about me by being concerned about my self harming, it made me feel loved and worth something, and allowed me to feel okay for a while (until the feeling wore off and I did it all over again). But she didn't know how to help (I guess she couldn't; it was a battle that could only be truly one by myself)... and it got too much for, so in the end she left me. The absolute heartbreak of losing her (I'm a fucking woman when it comes to love I swear...) made me realise so much though. I realised, seeking that feeling I felt from seeing her concern and care for me, was a very thin and temporary way to escape my depression. I wasn't dealing with the source of the problem, but only finding temporary refuge.
But that doesn't change the fact I was genuinely depressed. I still suffer from depression, but I keep it largely to myself (not necessarily a good thing) and don't self harm, and am actively trying to find the root cause of my depression to hopefully one day escape from it permanently.
I just wanted to throw that in there. Yes, some people seek to gain attention, but that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still depressed... they just haven't yet reached that level of maturity to realise that seeking attention/affection isn't the solution - and jumping down a kids throat for doing it will only make matters worse. So if you know somebody who you would describe as "just some kid faking depression to get attention" - don't automatically disregard them. A decent chat could do them wonders.
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Thank you for you're input zenvoboy I will definitely keep that in mind. God I swear not to be cocky but I feel I am so much more mature and sophisticated than most people my age I come in contact with. Also typtap, I feel like I'm just growing up in a shitty time. I'm honestly very afraid for my generation! It's going to be very interesting to see how we turn out. I'd also chill with you too and some other people on here! Also +1. You've helped me so much today.
Edit: When I get over 100 posts I will definitely +1 lol.
HighAllDay96
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I also quit smoking weed for about a year and went back to it and it still happens. I guess I'll just to wait until I'm ready. It also doesn't help that everyday for the longest time someone would ask me why don't you smoke weed? Even though they knew why. People my age can such inconsiderate dicks it's ridiculous. In high school, if you don't smoke weed it instantly makes you a little less "cool". I think that is also ridiculous.
HighAllDay96
Dude smoking all day WILL make you more depressed in the long run. Maybe it's because I don't really react well to weed since I quit smoking daily, but I feel like people definitely underestimate the effects of trees. Since your username is highallday96 i'm assuming you're 16?? Especially at that age smoking all day will definitely decrease your cognitive abilities later. But if people around you think not smoking makes you less cool then you're hanging out/surrounding yourself with the wrong people. When you're around those kind of people it's easy to forget that the majority of people in your school don't smoke or smoke rarely and for most of society it doesn't even cross their minds. And i'm fresh out of high school so don't think this info is dated. Going from being a hardcore stoner and selling for the summer before junior year and that whole year to barely smoking senior year (usually just a couple times a week) honestly opened my eyes so much. Weed isn't bad itself... In fact it's fucking awesome but it's easy to take it too far and make your life revolve around it, especially when you flaunt that as your stereotype. Just my 2 bitcents.
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typtap: I know what you mean! Doesn't it feel good? I love giving advice and helping people. I do a lot in real life. Like just today, a kid I know but don't talk to that much asked me for some girlfriend issue advice. I was more than happy to give my input. Too bad it seems like no one else is that willing to help people, or at least I hardly encounter any.
Pillows: I am 18. I honestly don't know why I made that my username. If I could I would change it right now. I was a little paranoid and thinking stuff like "I want to keep a low profile on here" and dumb shit like that. Also, I 100% agree with you're last post. I so surround myself the wrong people sometimes. However, some of my good friends are amazing friends that just happen to smoke a lot so it goes both ways.
HighAllDay96
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Most of the time the people who talk about it are doing it for attention. I've been "chemically Imbalanced" since I was 7 I watched my mom kill herself and got thrown around from family friends, to neighbors to whomever wanted to take me at the time for a few years till I finally moved in with my dad.. I had tried to kill myself multiple times before I was 14 and started using hard drugs and having sex and just making everything worse, but I never once told anyone there was anything wrong. I hid it well, and still do. I've been prescribed many different antidepressants, most give me seizures and I hate how they make me feel so I don't take them :-\ opiates and weed are honestly the only things that make me feel normal, I started doing a lot of research in in the 50s opiates were actually used to treat depression and worked very well. I don't understand our government, percs and shit are safer than the shit the doctors give you, it covers the symptoms and fucks with the way your brain actually makes chemicals which would make the problem worse in the long run, PLUS benzos can actually kill you from withdrawing (go figure). I'm in AP Psychology right now and stumbled on a few great sites for all natural everything to do with brain chemical regulation, sleep, appetite everything. I would recommend looking into it. & as for highschool, the drama never stops, your going to get hurt & most likely your heart broken but just remember it only lasts 4 years lol and just so you know my biggest regret in life (besides ever dying my hair) is not trying as hard as i could in highschool and getting caught up in all the drama and friends and forgot what was important. If I could do it all over again I would deff. have applied myself better in highschool so just don't pay attention to everyone
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That's not good, it sucks not having control over your own body/mind and drs really don't give a shit as long as they get their money
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I just wanted to throw that in there. Yes, some people seek to gain attention, but that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't still depressed... they just haven't yet reached that level of maturity to realise that seeking attention/affection isn't the solution - and jumping down a kids throat for doing it will only make matters worse. So if you know somebody who you would describe as "just some kid faking depression to get attention" - don't automatically disregard them. A decent chat could do them wonders.
Definitely good to be aware of, I think the most obvious "fakers" are the ones who are really pushing it in people's faces and milking them for sympathy. Especially anyone who uses it as an excuse, repeatedly, without appearing to be making even a mental effort to fix anything. Of course, even with them, have a little chat before you react.
I would have said the same but typtap too quick. Huge difference between genuinely depressed people vs fakers, and that includes the genuinely depressed who may do it for attention. Fakers never harm themselves because they lack the necessary emotions, not to mention spine. I had a distant family member who was a hypochondriac. "Oh my back", "Oh my head", "Oh my something". It was always something. FYI, she's still alive today despite being very aged, but her husband (who never once complained) died of cancer years ago. Like someone else said above, the REALLY depressed are too depressed to even open their mouth. I was meaning to say that, but someone else said it.
And for god sake Pillows stop saying what I was too slow to say lol. Work out. EAT! Plenty. Do something different just to mix it up. I was tiny. Then I became a PAWG. Everytime I was full I just sang, "Be like a whore! Eat, eat it all! You can eat it all! Eat like a whore! And then eat some more!" and ate some more. Trust me it worked. Typtap, ever thought of switching off for a couple of days? It sounds like you were, and are, a hell of a lot like me at times. You might think too much. Don't think about getting a job, or finding a solution to something, just switch off. If you want to eat, eat without thinking what am I going to eat, if you want to clean and jerk, just pick them up without thinking which muscles do I want to focus on, etc. Forget watching the disturbing news (always makes me depressed) and just do what YOU want. After a few days, go back to your routines and so forth. At least, that's what I do when I find myself in a slump for a week. It snaps my focus, I autopilot, recharge,then I'm ready to rock again. (Shit I hope I've explained myself correctly or it won't make sense.) Oh, and consider taking some St John's Wort. It works like an antidepressant, but it's all natural (they're vitamin tablets). I'm currently taking anti-deps so I can't take them, but everyone else can.
Littlemisslovey, what you said really puts me in my place when I think I have it a little rough at times. I don't think I could answer your post with justice. I'm amazed sex didn't help but bear in mind we're all different. But it reinforces my observation that the people who have the most reason to say something don't, and the ones that shouldn't, do.
Zenvoboy, buy some clothes (not necessarily a whole damn wardrobe). And feed of the new feelings. It's like a mini rebirth, but without the screaming and blood and placenta. (Hope that wasn't gross.)
I was going to say something else but now I've forgotten it. If I remember I'll come back later. Like tomorrow. Right now I'm hungry, it's 6.30 in the morning and I'm tired. Piece out bastards ;) Drive safely, use safely (don't eat them all at once for instance), always remember to eat, and that's all I got time for.
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I don't know if it's good or not but I honestly avoid things that I know might make me a little depressed. :P
HighAllDay96
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i've been struggling with depression ever since i became chronically ill as a teenager. psychedelics have completely changed the way i view the world, for the better. without them i'd still be stuck in my own self-created hell. the link in my sig also helped me in ways i couldn't dream of. reading that when i'm down brings me right back up again... anyone who is depressed should take a look.
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Hello it's HighAllDay96. I hate that username so I made a new one before it's too late.
Anyways, thank you I will take a look at that. I've always wanted to try some psychedelics but I'm very afraid my anxiety will just go crazy.
Secretive
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I didn't mind the username, lol. I'll change MINE to LowAllDay96.
Typtap you craaaaazy dude pmsl! Supposed to eat FOOD, not LSD!! TY for correction on job. It was the comment "staring at the door and thinking "I need to get a job..." Glad you got one; makes a hell of a difference in terms of self confidence. Same as working out. Mine dropped noticeably when I stopped.
I missed this Jesus guy. I couldn't log on yesterday as telecommunication networks were down. IMAHO, if he doesn't want to be here why is he here....
Piece out.........BASTARDS!! ;) :) ;)
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Good to hear someone’s starting New Year’s with a phuc-ing bang, lol. It’s a good idea to have a couple of buddies around though (not too many, they’ll deplete the stock) in case of sh*t happening like OD. Last thing you want is waking ^ in the local ICU. Also, I’d recommend doing a small bit first if it’s a new dealer. If usual dealer, not necessary. As for me, no doubt the same thing as last time, some lines at the oval with my friend. No one goes there, and if they do they don’t even see us half the time so it’s fairly ideal. (No LSD though.) [I’ll probably delete this thread in a week so I can say whatever I want lol]
btw, one question, have you ever had a BAD trip from either LSD or eccies? I prefer speed (not ICE though) and coke as good choices, MJ fine too, but eccies and LSD I’ve never taken; it’s kind of a mental thing.
Piece out.
…….bastards…….
(Tell me if below worked. I’ll delete it in 3 days btw so no lawsuit over copyright.)
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I wish I could try LSD. I 'm afraid my anxiety will go crazy and I will have a very bad trip. /:
Secretive
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I wish I could try LSD. I 'm afraid my anxiety will go crazy and I will have a very bad trip. /:
Secretive
Do you have somebody that you really trust that can tripsit you?
I had shame and vulnerability in my trip coming up for me and my friend was there for me. It was very healing.
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I think I do have someone like that. I might give that a try but it'd still probably be awhile.
Secretive
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btw, one question, have you ever had a BAD trip from either LSD or eccies? I prefer speed (not ICE though) and coke as good choices, MJ fine too, but eccies and LSD I’ve never taken; it’s kind of a mental thing.
You will like E/MDMA, it's a beautiful drug - my favourite.
Make sure to get a testing kit, though.
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I meant to post this before my internet account run out of GB :(
Sh*t, typtap, that's a lot of eccies in a very short time. Lot of LSD too. I'm surprised it wasn't worse than puking. Don't have a similar thing happen at New Year's. Do it with a friend (you know what I mean) so someone's there if you wig out. So long as that person isn't your mum or sister, lol. I fell for that. My sister told me she'd smoke my MJ with me just to "keep an eye over me". When I arrived she had a sudden change of heart and just kept the MJ. She said she threw it in the bin but I suspect she smoked it. I think she planned it and did it to get some free MJ. It wasn't even proper MJ for godsake, it was leaf.
Mmm, my signature quote did cut off. I got a Warning: Maximum words exceeded warning. It must have cut it off. I'll fix it ^.
Remember, moderation is the key with this batch! Don't overdo it, don't underdo it. Find the perfect dose. Piece out, drive safely.
btw, one question, have you ever had a BAD trip from either LSD or eccies? I prefer speed (not ICE though) and coke as good choices, MJ fine too, but eccies and LSD I’ve never taken; it’s kind of a mental thing.
You will like E/MDMA, it's a beautiful drug - my favourite.
Make sure to get a testing kit, though.
Like I said, it's a bit of a mental thing with MDMA. It's how it's made, and the fact I that I might have a bad reaction that I'm worried about (although to be fair, same thing could've happened with other drugs) . Hm, maybe I can have half a pill, lol, and give the other half to my cat :) There were some E dealers at school, one I didn't trust and the other one smelled funny. Poor guy. You stick to what you know. Still, I'd hate to be on my deathbed and think, should've tried at least one MDMA in my lifetime. Or some LSD.
(Bloody hell! I'm listening to this bloody ping-pong ball in the background going back and forth while I'm trying to type. I turned the volume down. I like The Simpsons but this is just irritating.)