Silk Road forums

Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: helpme on March 06, 2012, 07:57 pm

Title: Drug Test Question
Post by: helpme on March 06, 2012, 07:57 pm
hi everyone
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: funkynuts321 on March 06, 2012, 08:12 pm
Both my wife and myself have used quick fix in the past and it does indeed work, so definitely have faith it in. The lab will not be able to tell that the piss is synthetic- they want to make sure that when you piss in the cup that little thermal reader that's on the side registers a regular internal temp- anything below 90 degrees is considered an altered urine sample so make sure that when you heat the quickfix you do it for no more than about 10-15 seconds max. The one I used came with a little heating patch that wrapped around bottle after it was done to keep it warm, and since it's easily concealable put it in your underwear (since they don't pat your crotch and you will be asked to empty your pockets), walk in, piss and hand the sample with confidence to the person outside the door.

Once your piss is sent off to the lab they will only be testing for banned or illegal substances and will not detect that the piss is synthetic. You should be good to go. Fuck that cleanse shit.
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: funkynuts321 on March 06, 2012, 08:58 pm
thanks funkynuts, that makes me feel better.  i bought a bunch of quick fix and tested against a cvs store bought drug test, and it passed.  i know it will pass but i'm concerned about them testing for synthetic.  your story was great, thanks for your time!

so what if i get told it's a hair or saliva test?  i'm willing to shave my head and junk, but will they pull hair samples from somewhere else?  what about my saliva?

fuckin hate this shit over cannabis.  i'm partially freaking out and would love a xanax but i'm detoxing =/

Hair follicle and saliva tests are more expensive than a standard piss test, and I would highly doubt that a standard employer is going to be asking you for any of the two unless you are applying for some sort of special position. My advice would definitely be to not stress anything- you need to do everything you would normally do so you don't give yourself away when you go take a piss test. Shit, if you are going to use synthetic piss I'd say fuck it a take a xanax.

Relax bro, you are going to be fine... Just go with the flow and as I said, make sure you follow the directions on the box, don't heat it for more than 10-15 seconds, wrap that little heating patch around it, walk in with confidence, piss, walk out and the next thing you know it's all over with....

And then you too will be employed and the government will gladly be taxing you for half your salary, lol.
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: rise_against on March 06, 2012, 11:15 pm
if they do a hair follicle test, you're fucked.  it will stay in your hair follicle for about 90 days, and nothing can clean it out.
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: funkynuts321 on March 07, 2012, 12:31 am
I think you'll make yourself look suspicious as they probably see this same shit about 50 times a day. They'll know what you are up too.

But I highly doubt you will be giving hair and swapping spit...
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: funkynuts321 on March 07, 2012, 03:08 am
Let me give you some more friendly advice. Cover your bases, and never give up your location on these threads. Just to be safe, edit your last post friend.
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: funkynuts321 on March 07, 2012, 05:00 am
I used mine about 2 years ago and she used hers less than a year ago.
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: funkynuts321 on March 07, 2012, 08:52 pm
i've decided if it's a hair test, i won't take it and will deal with the consequences

i still don't know what kind of test i'll have to take -- which will probably be next week unless i can do it sooner

but if it's urine, i'm weighing synthetic vs. a friends clean piss.  i'm leaning towards the clean piss.  i keep reading horror stories about synthetics.  now i'm researching how to handle human urine properly.

what i can tell you is I WILL post an update after i get through this shit.  hopefully it can help everyone.  i'm only freaking out worse and worse each day.  as much as i'd like to medicate, i think i'll detox for a bit so i don't have to deal with this again anytime soon.

10+ years of daily smoking but quitting for a new job is worth it.

A funny to story to enlighten you situation a little bit. Had this cat I grew up with, he was just a massive fuck up in every sense of the word but was a good dude plus who the fuck am I to judge. Anyway, about 2 years after he got out of school he applied for a job with an oil field company who was heavily hiring but love coke and could not kick it long enough to piss clean. So he asked a friend, a close one and she had no problem doing it. So he goes and takes his piss test, and get's a call back from the employer about a week later.

The results. Well, he didn't get the job. He tested positive not for drugs, but for being pregnant!!!!

LOL. Hilarious shit. So help me, please, don't come out pregnant.
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: mito on April 09, 2012, 11:25 pm
... So he asked a friend, a close one and she had no problem doing it. So he goes and takes his piss test, and get's a call back from the employer about a week later.

The results. Well, he didn't get the job. He tested positive not for drugs, but for being pregnant!!!!

LOL indeed!

Wonder if he could have used the piss of a 3 year old child of the same gender for instance. 

Is the urine of children any different from adults?

I know animal piss is a big NO.

http://www.textfiles.com/drugs/drugtest.txt



Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: GunsoftheNavarone86 on April 10, 2012, 07:16 am
[...]
Is the urine of children any different from adults?
[...]
I don't know for sure if it is or not, but I would think in most cases it'll be the same from a kid or an adult (obviously as long as they are the same gender). The only exception I could see is if maybe that child had some kind of disease/disorder/hormones/etc. which only occurs in juveniles and is detectible in urine. In that case, I guess they would know that the urine you gave them did not come from an adult. I have heard the same thing about piss from the elderly; some diseases and such that are endemic to old people will set off red flags if they appear in a sample which was supposedly from a younger person.

This does remind me of part of an episode of "The Wire" though. I think its in season 3, when the Cutty character has to piss for parole after getting high. He buys clean urine outside the parole office, and the dealer tells him that piss is guaranteed to pass. He explains that he knows it'll be clean because it comes from the local preschool  ;D
Title: Re: Drug Test Question
Post by: winterjacket1 on April 16, 2012, 03:53 pm
From my experience the easiest way to pass a urine drug test for cannabis (or any substance on your standard 5 -10 panel Utox) is a Detox drink available at most any headshop - just follow the instructions.

Specifically, your looking for a drink with the most creatine (increases kidney function, hence diluting your urine), and B vitamins (makes your piss look yellow). The name detox is a misnomer, that simply isn't possible, what your doing here is diluting your urine below the 50,000 micro gram cut-off for cannabis. They say 500-1000mg of creatine can do this for a day. You can test the results before you go in with a home test from a drug store.