Silk Road forums

Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: Dopamin on April 09, 2013, 07:51 pm

Title: Need trip support please
Post by: Dopamin on April 09, 2013, 07:51 pm
Hey,

I am trying to work through some traumatic childhood experiences with the help of MDMA. Basically I was neglected and mistreated by my parents. That lead to big social problems in my childhood. I never had real friends until recent times and I have overcome my 30 year long depression. Allthough I feel I have not completed that work yet. I found new interests in life, I do a lot of sports and I have women in my life.

What I am asking for is some empathic help if my trip goes in a wrong direction. I can't really speak with anyone about this issues in the real world because so many people have experienced the same as I have. And they would burn themselves before they would touch those locked up experiences.

So, if anyone of you has some spare time I would really appreciate that. I know I have to travel this road 95% by myself but anyway, if you could support me a bit, that would be really cool.

I dropped 140mg acetone washed mdma, might be like 120mg pure stuff. I am at


0:16 now :)

 

Title: Re: Need trip support please
Post by: Kappacino on April 09, 2013, 07:56 pm
?
Title: Re: Need trip support please
Post by: Dopamin on April 09, 2013, 08:06 pm
thanks kappacino,

I am reading a book on how to cure my inner child at the moment. I found in my previous MDMA experiences that just listening deeply inside myself resolved a lot of my problems. Maybe I will go out on MDMA one day and enjoy the fruit of my work ;)
Title: Re: Need trip support please
Post by: Dopamin on April 09, 2013, 08:54 pm
+1:15 coming up now

i know now why I did MDMA today. it was just so painful to realize what happened to me. It was a strong, physical pain I felt. I went uphill running to subside it, that was  a crutch. I have to learn to feel anger and wrath my parents for what they did to me. then i will be free. I have to relive the pain I felt. And I think I have to do that without drugs.
Title: Re: Need trip support please
Post by: abby on April 09, 2013, 09:07 pm
anger isn't going to help.  you need to move to a state where you can recognise that they're human and they failed you, that you have survived them and can move on.  Anger will just keep fanning the flames and you'll never let go.
Title: Re: Need trip support please
Post by: Dopamin on April 10, 2013, 12:24 am
omg, i just realized how badly I fucked up most of my life. I am really on the edge, and if I dont find a job soon I will be in trouble. Somehow I managed to be blind for a very long time, and did not realize that I am just a loudmouth. Tough stuff. But, oh well, that was maybe what I spent my last year on: to realize that i have to get my shit together. at any cost. Holy, that sounds rough...

Anyway, thanks for the support guys. I will try to get some sleep now.