Silk Road forums

Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: itsthecops on April 20, 2013, 11:53 pm

Title: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: itsthecops on April 20, 2013, 11:53 pm
I ate a chick out once and noticed a funny taste and smell. I stopped and wiped my face with my sleeve and saw fucking blood and some crusty black shit on my face and sleeve.   Fuck!

Another chick one time, smelled like a musty old sleeping bag.  That one was rank.
How about you guys ?
Title: Re: Eating rotten pussy?
Post by: jamseyboy1 on April 21, 2013, 12:10 am
thats some messed up shit bro, i can honestly say ive never been down on a chick
Title: Re: Eating rotten pussy?
Post by: itsthecops on April 21, 2013, 12:39 am
I've never had STDs man.  That is good.  I always fucked pretty chicks like virgins.  Queer chicks too.  Bang 'em all
Title: Re: Eating rotten pussy?
Post by: itsthecops on April 21, 2013, 12:44 am
I got to fuck a squirter too once .  She leaked like she was fucking pissing on me .  It was a lot. It was warm and odorless.   A little slippery. She was embarrassed, but I was totally turned on by it. My chest was soaked and the bed was wet with this warm fluid.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: itsthecops on April 21, 2013, 01:11 am
I got a cum stained package once. I wondered how it happened.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: itsthecops on April 21, 2013, 01:23 am
My priest fondled me .  I was an alter boy and I got altered . 
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: itsthecops on April 21, 2013, 02:07 am
Bump
Title: Re: Eating rotten pussy?
Post by: 88fxstc on April 21, 2013, 02:22 am
thats some messed up shit bro, i can honestly say ive never been down on a chick

Is it just that you haven't had the chance or is it something you just don't want to do? If you just don't want to do it, then dude, you know not what you missing...
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: itsthecops on April 21, 2013, 02:28 am
Then one time I got a blowjob from my babysitter. I was 9.  It was awesome .
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: mantidman on April 21, 2013, 03:07 am
Going down on chicks while covered in their own blood is cool.  How do you expect to get your RED WINGS if not for a little blood on your lip boy?

Not to mention they are highly aroused when it's that time of the calendar...

Respect thee women....


snamm
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: somewhere27 on April 27, 2013, 11:10 am
50 I NEED 50 POSTS
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: underbelly on April 27, 2013, 11:19 am
Thread of the week award
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: jkfire on April 27, 2013, 11:23 am
Knew i shouldn't have read this post during breakfast!  :-\
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: jjwentworth on April 27, 2013, 11:38 am
my buddy works at ihop and opens every sunday. he said he jerks off into th pancake batter every week. moral of the story is dont hit that ihop up till later in the afternoon when the fresh batch of pancake batter is used.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: gwendlesphere on April 27, 2013, 12:09 pm
I once fisted my own dick, it was the second hottest thing I did that day. The first being that I raped my dad.

My anus is quivering with delight
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: bankofgt on April 27, 2013, 12:39 pm
Gillchased a mundane half  gram of speed/meth in one swift motion.. as I do but this was fucking strong and I'd been using/abusing for close to ten years up to that point. Banged at least 7 whores ran out of time and money.

Anyhow when I get to 100  +1 to you itsthecops fucking hilarious post.Seldom do I Laugh Out Loud. This post supersedes the  Gemzemz Iwanna fuck my steppy fund . No need to talk it over with the shrink just spread the love on the threads..

Then one time I got a blowjob from my babysitter. I was 9.  It was awesome .
My priest fondled me .  I was an alter boy and I got altered . 
I ate a chick out once and noticed a funny taste and smell. I stopped and wiped my face with my sleeve and saw fucking blood and some crusty black shit on my face and sleeve.   Fuck!
Another chick one time, smelled like a musty old sleeping bag.  That one was rank.
How about you guys ?
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: gwendlesphere on April 29, 2013, 04:17 am
A girl once miscarried in my mouth.

Needless to say, dat protein for dem gains. Thanks babe
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Chaosforpeace on April 30, 2013, 12:41 am
A girl once miscarried in my mouth.

Needless to say, dat protein for dem gains. Thanks babe
Definitely creative.


My priest fondled me .  I was an alter boy and I got altered .

This line is amazing. I must tell everyone I know this one.

Chaos
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Leolo on April 30, 2013, 02:18 am
 ;D This thread is priceless. Thanks for the laughs!
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on April 30, 2013, 02:30 am
I was pounding this girl in the butt and I saw poop and it just made me go faster.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: TylerDurdensPenis on April 30, 2013, 02:38 am
I put peanut butter all over my balls and dick, and let a dog lick it all off. It felt awesome and I came a huge load. But then I noticed that the dog was male.

Does that make me gay?
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: cerealbox on April 30, 2013, 02:40 am
She came so hard she perioded all over my cock. i took it as a compliment eventually, but she insisted she wasn't on her period as it was the after... I dunno... birth or something. Bloodclotsm on my pubes = perioding all over my dick to me. At least I wasn't eating her out at the time. But yeah, girls have monthly abortions from that hole. Just uh.... yeah, I dunno. The chick hole is indeed kind of gross and weird. You'll be with a chick for a year and all of a sudden she'll emit some sort of weird new foam and you're expected to lap it up like you're totally used to it.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on April 30, 2013, 03:58 am
I used to pick chicks up on the internet and this woman was a little too masculine and I got her drunk and had to come up with a reason to check her for a penis without arousing suspicion or being offensive.

I then promptly hit that.

Then she was too drunk to drive and she had someone pick her up. Turns out it was her fiancee. I didn't know it when I walked up and shook his hand.

I'm pretty sure that was an awkward car ride home.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: tryin2makeIT on April 30, 2013, 07:27 am
i jacked off in a cubilce in alternative school once.. yeah i was bad
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: seatturtle on April 30, 2013, 08:08 am
in high school at a party this dude we knew was fucking a chick and she came and then shit all over him lolol
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BreezeTheGnome on April 30, 2013, 08:46 am
nasty
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Rav3n on April 30, 2013, 09:51 am
And then one time, at band camp...

A councilor touched my no no place :(
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: morganeverett on April 30, 2013, 10:09 am
I wish I could get laid.... And now I'm sad....
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: TylerDurdensPenis on April 30, 2013, 10:36 pm
I had a dream about lesbian ass eating vampires last night. It was hot!

True story. I woke up and had to knuckle out a quick nut.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: cerealbox on April 30, 2013, 10:50 pm
in high school at a party this dude we knew was fucking a chick and she came and then shit all over him lolol

By accident?
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: zachleez on May 01, 2013, 03:51 am
eww
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: soulquarian33 on May 01, 2013, 04:14 am
This one time at band camp...I jizzed on a cats face.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: EisGOOD4u on May 01, 2013, 04:21 am
the first time i went down on a girl i ended up with clown face.

another time i went to get dressed in the morning and found her underwear with a bloody pad attached to it.




im now gay.   ;D
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: encryptedwave on May 01, 2013, 04:22 am
Crusty and moldy vagina is definitely not fun. Might I suggest showering with her before getting sexed up in her.  A fresh showered pussy and ass is like heaven, especially when well smooth and shaved.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: type on May 01, 2013, 04:53 am
Crusty and moldy vagina is definitely not fun. Might I suggest showering with her before getting sexed up in her.  A fresh showered pussy and ass is like heaven, especially when well smooth and shaved.

What the actual f**k.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: bdog on May 01, 2013, 07:39 am
lolz
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Chaosforpeace on May 01, 2013, 07:45 pm
This one time this homeless chick was blowing me and she threw up all over my dick and pubes. I just powered through it.

Chaos
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: StoneyDrone420 on May 01, 2013, 07:55 pm
Vaginal Discharge is like eating apples with fish parts and it stretches out longer than native africans nips are.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: catchthesunfish on May 03, 2013, 11:45 pm
Reading this thread reminds me no matter what age, boys will be boys.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: nirvey101 on May 04, 2013, 12:09 am
Pinche Pescado Puta VIEJO!
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: StinkyS4L on May 05, 2013, 08:59 am
You gotta know when to say no. Fuck people. Literally.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: worm11 on May 05, 2013, 09:06 am
I can self suck.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on May 05, 2013, 09:13 am
I'll purposely buy my girlfriend Chipoltle so I can buttfuck her later and have her fart on my balls.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: SnowBurn on May 05, 2013, 07:15 pm
I am in hysterics but also feel a little nauseous. This is one of the first threads I've read on this forum too -- what a lovely first impression.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on May 05, 2013, 07:20 pm
I've personally shit in a priority box and mailed it to a church.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: farmer1 on May 05, 2013, 08:16 pm
This thread is fucked up.

Gift code for 0.1 BTC off any of my listings: superwoman massicots
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: linkk on May 05, 2013, 09:20 pm
LOL at this thread
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: KLizard390 on May 05, 2013, 09:32 pm
Jingle Jangle
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: KLizard390 on May 05, 2013, 09:42 pm
Bullshit errors are annoying.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on May 05, 2013, 10:16 pm
This thread is fucked up.

I saw the troll thread and thought I would bump it and say whatever derangement came to mind and see what would come of it.

I used to masturbate to The Price is Right but the staff at the nursing home frowned upon that. I used to volunteer up there and sniff the old people and steal from them. I threw a few purple hearts in the trash, made sure to grease the floors so that people would slip getting out of the shower and fracture their pelvis.

Good times.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: GoofyGlasses57 on May 05, 2013, 10:38 pm
I don't quite know what I should say to this thread. I would be quite shocked if I received such a surprise package, but it might make me laugh.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Chaosforpeace on May 08, 2013, 02:42 am
I've personally shit in a priority box and mailed it to a church.
Bruce you are oh so wise.
I am +1ing you every 72 hours for the rest of my life.

Chaos
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Chaosforpeace on May 08, 2013, 02:46 am
Oh and worm, I mean bill, is that you?!?!?

Chaos
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BoNgOn on May 08, 2013, 02:48 am
My priest fondled me .  I was an alter boy and I got altered .

Fuck me funny shit.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Chaosforpeace on May 08, 2013, 03:10 am
My priest fondled me .  I was an alter boy and I got altered .

Fuck me funny shit.
I have already repeated that line to everyone I know since I read it here.

Chaos
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: jackofspades on May 08, 2013, 03:16 am
I once fisted my own dick, it was the second hottest thing I did that day. The first being that I raped my dad.

My anus is quivering with delight

tweeting that... jk ;)

-JOS
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Chaosforpeace on May 08, 2013, 03:18 am
I once fisted my own dick, it was the second hottest thing I did that day. The first being that I raped my dad.

My anus is quivering with delight

tweeting that... jk ;)

-JOS
Dude that's been my Facebook status this whole week.

Chaos
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: G-Up on May 08, 2013, 03:19 am
50
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: G-Up on May 08, 2013, 03:21 am
60
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: beastmode001 on May 08, 2013, 03:39 am
47
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: beastmode001 on May 08, 2013, 03:40 am
48
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: beastmode001 on May 08, 2013, 03:42 am
49
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: beastmode001 on May 08, 2013, 03:44 am
49
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: beastmode001 on May 08, 2013, 03:46 am
50
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: leeland2121 on May 08, 2013, 04:04 am
I've been shipping my homecooked Steaming Hot Semen Swaggie Sandwich to hungry bitches for years, hit me up
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on June 16, 2013, 06:30 am
SEMEN.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: DrNo13 on June 16, 2013, 06:45 am
always
Title: Re: Eating rotten pussy?
Post by: BrianMcGee on June 16, 2013, 06:46 am
I got to fuck a squirter too once .  She leaked like she was fucking pissing on me .  It was a lot. It was warm and odorless.   A little slippery. She was embarrassed, but I was totally turned on by it. My chest was soaked and the bed was wet with this warm fluid.

Yea I had a squirter one time and she was really hott but the fact she squirt turned me on an amazing amount!
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on June 16, 2013, 07:18 am
Squirters are mostly just nasty pissers.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: aussiepp on June 16, 2013, 07:26 am
Can't help but think that OP = virgin.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: cumguzzler on June 16, 2013, 04:40 pm
if you see it, you will shit bricks

http://xhamster.com/movies/1897940/cum_filled_condom_10_cumshot_semen_bukkake_mask_latex.html
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Love on June 16, 2013, 04:52 pm
the first page of this thread made me wonder what the hell I'd stumbled into
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: Love on June 16, 2013, 05:34 pm
Why do full members look at the newbie section it's mostly rubbish surely?
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: slade17 on June 16, 2013, 05:42 pm
This topic is fucked up.
Title: Re: Jerking off into your package?
Post by: BruceCampbell on June 16, 2013, 08:17 pm
Greasy pregnant juice and flapjack ass.