Silk Road forums

Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: SealTeam6 on June 19, 2013, 06:42 pm

Title: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: SealTeam6 on June 19, 2013, 06:42 pm
Off the road scenario:  Lets say you have had a relatively smooth relationship with someone, for years, a buyer and seller relationship.  Things have been so smooth between you that you consider this person a friend.  You know their family, you know their kids, all that cheesy shit.  Then one day something goes awry, its usually something petty and involving money.  This person then flips on you faster than u can blink and realize what the fuck is going on.  All of a sudden this friendship turns to shit, all threats and hurt feelings.  You realize from sitting back and reflecting on the years gone by, that this person was never your friend, just a glorified customer, someone using you only for the service you provide.  I ask, is there no honor left in this world?
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: tree on June 19, 2013, 09:57 pm
Damn that must've sucked for you. I hope you got back at him or that everything's going well now at least!
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: SealTeam6 on June 19, 2013, 10:35 pm
Damn that must've sucked for you. I hope you got back at him or that everything's going well now at least!

Yeah it sucked the first time, and it reared it's ugly head again.  I learned much tho, it helped my circle become smaller.  I know who is who now.  Live and learn!
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: PerPETualMOtion on June 19, 2013, 11:33 pm
Sorry to hear it... Been in similar situation. Terrible experience. On the contrary, I have been in the opposite situation, where something stupid happened between us, and it turned out to be cool.

Patience... but it sounds like you already have it figured out... a smaller circle.

Take care,
PerPETualMOtion
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: SealTeam6 on June 19, 2013, 11:45 pm
Sorry to hear it... Been in similar situation. Terrible experience. On the contrary, I have been in the opposite situation, where something stupid happened between us, and it turned out to be cool.

Patience... but it sounds like you already have it figured out... a smaller circle.

Take care,
PerPETualMOtion

Yeah, patience is something I do have.  I try to see the bigger picture.  Years down the road it may be something that me and said individuals laugh at, or it could be sooner, or never, only time will tell.

Bless
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: 45mypet on June 20, 2013, 12:04 am
Money is the root of all evil when you have too much or stress about not having enough.
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: SealTeam6 on June 20, 2013, 12:07 am
Money is the root of all evil when you have too much or stress about not having enough.

I was thinking this exact same euphemism today, it's really a shame that people let dollar signs get in between relations!
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: motek on June 20, 2013, 03:42 am
I  think this (unfortunately) happens to everyone who does business  :(

For me, it's the 'principle' not the money.  As much as I hate the saying "shit happens" it does, and if possible, sometimes having a 'neutral' person mediate between you can help a lot

This time last year, a person who I thought was a good friend simply assumed I was prepared to do some work for his business for 'free'  ... but I thought we HAD agreed on me getting paid, but I knew he was waiting on payment for the job, and had said to him "when you can, no hurry mate"

A few days after the job was finished, he went on holidays, and didn't answer any of my calls or txts for a month while he was away.  I thought he was ignoring me and I had NO idea why, as without my help, the job wouldn't have been finished, and so I felt I 'deserved' at the very least a reply to my calls/messages.

Little did I know, things had gone pear shaped in his life and he was having a 'meltdown' ... and had taken my messages in the most negative way possible. Together with the fact he had a lot of my equipment which I needed, but i had no idea 'why' he wouldn't realize this and resolve it, as I NEEDED those tools!

When he returned he spat the dummy at me and I felt used and taken for granted,  and we eventually ended up in court,

 The magistrate however was far more objective than either of us were being and far more experienced with similar situations, and so "ordered a court appointed mediator" to try and help us find some 'common ground' so we could resolve our 'difference of opinion"

Although I was reluctant after the animosity the situation had inspired between us, the mediator was a very reasonable woman, who with several ph calls to each of us, eventually got us to talk with each other, and as we were both now past our "emotive phase" we arranged to meet, and had a very honest (and not exactly pleasant, but fruitful) conversation where we did our best to 'explain' to each other the reasons behind our respective behaviours.

6 months later and we have a better relationship than ever before,  and we now know that it was mainly due to mixed messages and stress that caused this!
 We had both made "emotive and irrational" comments during our quarrel, and things said in anger are often hard to 'take back'!
 But underneath it all, we still liked each other a lot, and in hindsight saw how irrational we had both been. 

And this guy is a genius, yet as the saying goes "feeling aren't facts" which is why people who once 'loved each other, become sworn enemies  as they are acting on their feelings and not seeing the wood for the trees.  You see this type of stuff on Dr Phil ALL the time!

I hope you to are able to work this out if they are truly a friend, if not,  as Kahlil Gibran said
Quote
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference!

Unfortunately, selling drugs will find you many "fairweather friends", and there are some very deceitful people in this world, as the scammers and co on TSR demonstrate.

I'm sorry if this is a confusing tale as it was much more complex than I've just tried to explain, but to have this guy back as my mate, was worth everything we went through and a bit more


I hope whichever way this goes for you matey, you end up happier than before

cheers, motek  :)
Title: Re: Has this ever happened to you!
Post by: SealTeam6 on June 20, 2013, 04:41 am
I  think this (unfortunately) happens to everyone who does business  :(

For me, it's the 'principle' not the money.  As much as I hate the saying "shit happens" it does, and if possible, sometimes having a 'neutral' person mediate between you can help a lot

This time last year, a person who I thought was a good friend simply assumed I was prepared to do some work for his business for 'free'  ... but I thought we HAD agreed on me getting paid, but I knew he was waiting on payment for the job, and had said to him "when you can, no hurry mate"

A few days after the job was finished, he went on holidays, and didn't answer any of my calls or txts for a month while he was away.  I thought he was ignoring me and I had NO idea why, as without my help, the job wouldn't have been finished, and so I felt I 'deserved' at the very least a reply to my calls/messages.

Little did I know, things had gone pear shaped in his life and he was having a 'meltdown' ... and had taken my messages in the most negative way possible. Together with the fact he had a lot of my equipment which I needed, but i had no idea 'why' he wouldn't realize this and resolve it, as I NEEDED those tools!

When he returned he spat the dummy at me and I felt used and taken for granted,  and we eventually ended up in court,

 The magistrate however was far more objective than either of us were being and far more experienced with similar situations, and so "ordered a court appointed mediator" to try and help us find some 'common ground' so we could resolve our 'difference of opinion"

Although I was reluctant after the animosity the situation had inspired between us, the mediator was a very reasonable woman, who with several ph calls to each of us, eventually got us to talk with each other, and as we were both now past our "emotive phase" we arranged to meet, and had a very honest (and not exactly pleasant, but fruitful) conversation where we did our best to 'explain' to each other the reasons behind our respective behaviours.

6 months later and we have a better relationship than ever before,  and we now know that it was mainly due to mixed messages and stress that caused this!
 We had both made "emotive and irrational" comments during our quarrel, and things said in anger are often hard to 'take back'!
 But underneath it all, we still liked each other a lot, and in hindsight saw how irrational we had both been. 

And this guy is a genius, yet as the saying goes "feeling aren't facts" which is why people who once 'loved each other, become sworn enemies  as they are acting on their feelings and not seeing the wood for the trees.  You see this type of stuff on Dr Phil ALL the time!

I hope you to are able to work this out if they are truly a friend, if not,  as Kahlil Gibran said
Quote
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference!

Unfortunately, selling drugs will find you many "fairweather friends", and there are some very deceitful people in this world, as the scammers and co on TSR demonstrate.

I'm sorry if this is a confusing tale as it was much more complex than I've just tried to explain, but to have this guy back as my mate, was worth everything we went through and a bit more


I hope whichever way this goes for you matey, you end up happier than before

cheers, motek  :)

Thanks for sharing.

I got a good idea of where you're coming from, but I am not sure where I am in this situation.  I cut ties with the individual and doubt that that will change anytime soon.  The way I see it right now is that I'm better off without that kind of a relationship

Miscommunication to me is the greatest damnation a relationship can suffer.  That's really where it started with my problem, and I see it happening all the time.  People don't take the time necessary to get on each others pages.  I find that to be a selfish trait and it goes on everywhere all the time, it's truly frustrating!