Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: tedrux on December 31, 2012, 07:28 am
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I am contemplating different methods of suicide. I want it to be pleasent , if possible, and certain. I know deep down I dont truly want to die, but I am resolved to accomplish this task anyways for more reasons then I will go into here and now. Just keep in mind that you don't know me and even the vet haxors on this site can spend days digging through all my personal info and still not know me on the inside- it is my decision and I'm making it.
That being said, I only want advice from those serious about helping (your more fucked up then I am if your willing to intentionally give me misdirection that ends me up permenantly fucked up even worse than I already am) from people who know what they are talking about (doctors, biochemist, assassins and such)
some methods I have done just a little research on and still need a light shone on them by people who AREN'T just trolling the net or giving intentional misdirection would be
Nembutal
Fentanyl
Cyanide
Shot gun blast to occipital lobe and brain stem via a twelve gauge with double aught buck shot and a chair rigged to negate misfire (I cannot legally purchase a gun due to having been commited for suicidal ideation before. NOTE: I said Ideation , Ive never attempted before)
Drowning: I have considered how simple it might be to take a raft out into a lack and chain weights to my neck and handcuff myself and jump. this would allow me to get fucked up on hallucinagenics before I die and have a hell of an experience
I am not trolling. This post is not a joke. I've searched the net for decent advice but theres just not enough EXPERT advice out there.
In particular interest to me would be swedish doctors who have experience with 'right to die' patients. If youve done this over and over your less likely to have misimpressions.
and if need be let me boil my reason down to simply; I am not the kind of person I want to be and are actually the kind of person I despise. I have tried changing and nothing really motivates me to do so. There is a girl involved, several , but one in particular who I made a promise to. killing me would make her relieved if not right out happy. If I can satisfy her ,even if this is the only way, I'm going to do it. IT ISN'T JUST SILLY ROMANTICS. I had a lot of issues going into meeting her and they were just magnified by that rejection after getting to know and love her. so dont give me that "give it time" bullshit. not all issues change with time alone.
thanks
-teddy
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You aren't going to find any barbituates besides phenobarbital on Silk Road and i'm taking note not to sell any to emo kids or the retarded for a few weeks as of right now.
Drowning is a terrible idea. What a horrible and terrifying way to die.
Shotgun is just inconsiderate for anyone who has to clean your mess up. You don't want to make some guy clean up your frontal cortex out of a car or something do you?
I'm tired of these threads. Go rob a fucking bank since you have nothing to lose, and maybe you'll feel better and have a bunch of cash and go get laid or have a nice vacation.
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If you want it to be pleasant, I'd advise not going with Cyanide. Nembutal, a Darvon Cocktail, or a large quantity of pretty much any Barbiturate or Opiate (Morphine pills especially) would probably be a pretty peaceful way to go out. There's also the Helium Hood or Hibachi methods. Using a Helium Hood in addition to a lethal drug quantity would be pretty fail safe, since even if the drugs simply knocked you out, the hood would counteract the body's natural reaction to breathe while unconscious. The Hibachi involves lighting a few small charcoal grills in a small and sealed off space. You could also try making a mask and attaching it to a Carbon Monoxide tank. I've provided a link below for the tank method. Personally I'd just go with the Hood/Drug combo if you're serious, since the Hibachi and Tank methods could potentially kill whoever discovers your corpse. I sincerely hope you take more time to think this through, I was in your shoes six months ago, coming to the Road was part of what helped me. If you must go through with this, go in peace and best of luck to you.
http://www.jerryhunt.org/kill.htm
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If you want it to be pleasant, I'd advise not going with Cyanide. Nembutal, a Darvon Cocktail, or a large quantity of pretty much any Barbiturate or Opiate (Morphine pills especially) would probably be a pretty peaceful way to go out. There's also the Helium Hood or Hibachi methods. Using a Helium Hood in addition to a lethal drug quantity would be pretty fail safe, since even if the drugs simply knocked you out, the hood would counteract the body's natural reaction to breathe while unconscious. The Hibachi involves lighting a few small charcoal grills in a small and sealed off space. You could also try making a mask and attaching it to a Carbon Monoxide tank. I've provided a link below for the tank method. Personally I'd just go with the Hood/Drug combo if you're serious, since the Hibachi and Tank methods could potentially kill whoever discovers your corpse. I sincerely hope you take more time to think this through, I was in your shoes six months ago, coming to the Road was part of what helped me. If you must go through with this, go in peace and best of luck to you.
http://www.jerryhunt.org/kill.htm
Sigh. :-\
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RE thinking it through further: I have had a preoccupation with suicide for pretty much my whole life; almost as if it was meant to be. It is though in the past two years since she threw me away like garbage that I have decided that there is no going back; I've simply seen too much of the truth to go back now. I've seen myself for the piece of shit I am and seen how I can't change even with something I actually care about on the table to lose. I was pretty sure that its what I wanted to do since the day I started smoking or I wouldn't have started. I was dead the moment she said "I FUCKING HATE YOU".
In RE to callling me retarded and Emo- I could cop to either and if you despise people like that then why have reservations about allowing them to be self absolving? Doesn't seem to make sense. If your so convinced human life is sacred there is ONE way to save my life and fuck no I'm not volunteering the info- that'd just be too easy. Besides I don't believe that it's possible anyways. god knows I already tried.
Thank you for the compassion and consideration
tell me: if you had to go out, how would you want to do it?
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Also, just naming methods is nice but actual dosages and techniques will be required for me to do this right along with ,hopefully, a list of vendors who would willingly supply this stuff to me.
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I am contemplating different methods of suicide. I want it to be pleasent , if possible, and certain. I know deep down I dont truly want to die, but I am resolved to accomplish this task anyways for more reasons then I will go into here and now. Just keep in mind that you don't know me and even the vet haxors on this site can spend days digging through all my personal info and still not know me on the inside- it is my decision and I'm making it.
That being said, I only want advice from those serious about helping (your more fucked up then I am if your willing to intentionally give me misdirection that ends me up permenantly fucked up even worse than I already am) from people who know what they are talking about (doctors, biochemist, assassins and such)
some methods I have done just a little research on and still need a light shone on them by people who AREN'T just trolling the net or giving intentional misdirection would be
Nembutal
Fentanyl
Cyanide
Shot gun blast to occipital lobe and brain stem via a twelve gauge with double aught buck shot and a chair rigged to negate misfire (I cannot legally purchase a gun due to having been commited for suicidal ideation before. NOTE: I said Ideation , Ive never attempted before)
Drowning: I have considered how simple it might be to take a raft out into a lack and chain weights to my neck and handcuff myself and jump. this would allow me to get fucked up on hallucinagenics before I die and have a hell of an experience
I am not trolling. This post is not a joke. I've searched the net for decent advice but theres just not enough EXPERT advice out there.
In particular interest to me would be swedish doctors who have experience with 'right to die' patients. If youve done this over and over your less likely to have misimpressions.
and if need be let me boil my reason down to simply; I am not the kind of person I want to be and are actually the kind of person I despise. I have tried changing and nothing really motivates me to do so. There is a girl involved, several , but one in particular who I made a promise to. killing me would make her relieved if not right out happy. If I can satisfy her ,even if this is the only way, I'm going to do it. IT ISN'T JUST SILLY ROMANTICS. I had a lot of issues going into meeting her and they were just magnified by that rejection after getting to know and love her. so dont give me that "give it time" bullshit. not all issues change with time alone.
thanks
-teddy
Malaria pills and a slow drip IV infusion of phenobarbital in a saline mix... I don´t condone it but this is the best way to make it not painful and easily found on the internet. Many many people have made threads like this before, with exactly the same answers.. the fact that your posting this and not just reading the other threads makes me think you just want attention.. In which case I´m happy to give it to ya. But can we not make it all doom and gloom and talk about something happy?
Ace
Ace
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1) Call every escort service in town for a constant supply of women at regularly scheduled intervals
2) Mix a huge milkshake of Viagra and Cialis - 5000mg min. total
3) Ride and rotate until you are dead
4) Make sure you record everything and donate proceeds from the online tape sales to a charity of your choice
5) Become a legend
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I am contemplating different methods of suicide. I want it to be pleasent , if possible, and certain. I know deep down I dont truly want to die, but I am resolved to accomplish this task anyways for more reasons then I will go into here and now. Just keep in mind that you don't know me and even the vet haxors on this site can spend days digging through all my personal info and still not know me on the inside- it is my decision and I'm making it.
That being said, I only want advice from those serious about helping (your more fucked up then I am if your willing to intentionally give me misdirection that ends me up permenantly fucked up even worse than I already am) from people who know what they are talking about (doctors, biochemist, assassins and such)
some methods I have done just a little research on and still need a light shone on them by people who AREN'T just trolling the net or giving intentional misdirection would be
Nembutal
Fentanyl
Cyanide
Shot gun blast to occipital lobe and brain stem via a twelve gauge with double aught buck shot and a chair rigged to negate misfire (I cannot legally purchase a gun due to having been commited for suicidal ideation before. NOTE: I said Ideation , Ive never attempted before)
Drowning: I have considered how simple it might be to take a raft out into a lack and chain weights to my neck and handcuff myself and jump. this would allow me to get fucked up on hallucinagenics before I die and have a hell of an experience
I am not trolling. This post is not a joke. I've searched the net for decent advice but theres just not enough EXPERT advice out there.
In particular interest to me would be swedish doctors who have experience with 'right to die' patients. If youve done this over and over your less likely to have misimpressions.
and if need be let me boil my reason down to simply; I am not the kind of person I want to be and are actually the kind of person I despise. I have tried changing and nothing really motivates me to do so. There is a girl involved, several , but one in particular who I made a promise to. killing me would make her relieved if not right out happy. If I can satisfy her ,even if this is the only way, I'm going to do it. IT ISN'T JUST SILLY ROMANTICS. I had a lot of issues going into meeting her and they were just magnified by that rejection after getting to know and love her. so dont give me that "give it time" bullshit. not all issues change with time alone.
thanks
-teddy
Malaria pills and a slow drip IV infusion of phenobarbital in a saline mix... I don´t condone it but this is the best way to make it not painful and easily found on the internet. Many many people have made threads like this before, with exactly the same answers.. the fact that your posting this and not just reading the other threads makes me think you just want attention.. In which case I´m happy to give it to ya. But can we not make it all doom and gloom and talk about something happy?
Ace
Ace
If you know of web sources that could be helpful, post them. I am seeking attention and I am serious. What says that both can't be true? I'd be glad to find someone who actually had the answers I sought to make my life happy and accomplish my goals HOWEVER this is less then .0000000001% likely to happen and in that case I am willing to trick myself out of this world for the sake of those tired of me living in it and in the name of my idealisms.
I've seen other suicide blogs but rarely is there any usable information. Also the darknet is a great place to post things like this due to the fact that people are more likely to be honest .
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Well lets look at that shall we, what are your goals? The sources for all that I listed are very easy to come by, the method is true and tested and will definitely kill you, if your serious you can find the sources, along with information on the method. But lets talk about your low self esteem and the view you have that people don't want you around.
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and if need be let me boil my reason down to simply; I am not the kind of person I want to be and are actually the kind of person I despise. I have tried changing and nothing really motivates me to do so. There is a girl involved, several , but one in particular who I made a promise to. killing me would make her relieved if not right out happy. If I can satisfy her ,even if this is the only way, I'm going to do it. IT ISN'T JUST SILLY ROMANTICS. I had a lot of issues going into meeting her and they were just magnified by that rejection after getting to know and love her. so dont give me that "give it time" bullshit. not all issues change with time alone.
thanks
-teddy
I'm sorry, I wasnt going to chime in until I read this was essentially over a girl. That's not reason enough to kill yourself. You promised a girl you would kill yourself and that would make her happy? what the FUCK? Thats depression and misery talking- YOU have to fight it. and fuck her, she aint worth it, maybe your expectations are too high.
As someone who attempted suicide over a girl at age 13(stupid, probably attn wanting, was also on ZOLOFT) - still alone and helpless at 25- but I KNOW that a girl is no reason to end your life. You have got to hold onto that hope that things will get better , OR GO OUT AND MAKE THEM BETTER(I know nobody wants to hear this and its not easy by any means)
Surrounding circumstances involving a girl and a friend of mine ended up causing him to drive off in the middle of the night and kill himself(wasnt wearing seatbelt, drove into stone wall)- this just happened a week before Christmas. It was so tragic and sad to see his life end. Not only for me personally but really for his family and close friends. He was a good one even though he may have said the same things you said while he was alive, and some people did not like him. He had a good heart, but the female essentially killed him just like she is trying to do to you.
I know how you feel like you wont change, and nothing will change. But that is selfish thinking. Think of others, your family, friends, partners, whatever. You said you got several girls?? Lucky bastard, go hang out with them. I wish I had a girl that gave me the time of day.(well there might be some- but they aint worth it!)
I hope things get better and you see the quality in life. I dont know your drug history but shrooms helped me "see" there was more to life. and remember. there's always someone that has it worse than you.
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You aren't going to find any barbituates besides phenobarbital on Silk Road and i'm taking note not to sell any to emo kids or the retarded for a few weeks as of right now.
Drowning is a terrible idea. What a horrible and terrifying way to die.
Shotgun is just inconsiderate for anyone who has to clean your mess up. You don't want to make some guy clean up your frontal cortex out of a car or something do you?
I'm tired of these threads. Go rob a fucking bank since you have nothing to lose, and maybe you'll feel better and have a bunch of cash and go get laid or have a nice vacation.
The bank idea is actually a pretty good one. Next time I get depressed I will think to myself "Do I have the balls to rob a bank?" (The answer will probably be no) "Ok then, just order some MDMA instead and try to go take a walk every morning and visit a nursing home to read to people instead, there has to be a better way!"
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hell just make what ever. if you going to suicide it doesnt matter... just make sure you do, because if you don't you in for a lot o sh!t xD
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go with the cyanide. simple fast and cheap.
smoke some DMT before you do it!!
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suicide is useless as we can only guess what lies on the other side of death. you could wind up in a much worse reality. why take the chance? you're here for a reason. smoke dmt and see where it takes you.
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A brave man once requested me, to answer questions that are key, is it to be or not to be, and I replied oh why ask me.
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Well lets look at that shall we, what are your goals? The sources for all that I listed are very easy to come by, the method is true and tested and will definitely kill you, if your serious you can find the sources, along with information on the method. But lets talk about your low self esteem and the view you have that people don't want you around.
well alright then- where do I get the supplies, how do I get the supplies, how much will it cost?