Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Leapfrogger on January 07, 2013, 08:20 am
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I saw some old friends today.
What began as a pitcher of margaritas over lunch turned into a couple of beers at a friend's apartment, then a couple of jack and cokes at a sports bar down the street, then several Red Stag and cokes and a couple of shots at a gay bar. (All within a few blocks! Love this town.)
I was supposed to go out to dinner with a slightly-more-than-a-friend of mine at 7, but when I went to pick her up and she could basically smell the alcohol on my breath over the phone, she told me maybe we should do it another time and basically hung up on me.
Probably for the best.
Oh yeah: on the way to her house I jumped a curb twice in heavy traffic and very nearly rear-ended a driver- I had to SLAM on my brakes, and if I'd have hit a patch of ice, I'd be completely fucked right now. I've had two close-calls with DUIs- had both reduced to lesser charges (protip: don't blow) - but if I'd have even grazed a bumper with my BAC at the time, I would be looking at months of jail time right now.
This is fucking ridiculous. My life is really not so bad right now. I almost sabotaged everything tonight and I'm worried I'm going to do it over and over again.
I've done every drug except heroin and meth (I think, lol.) I can keep it together with all of them, but not with alcohol. I just get so fucking careless. Granted, what I did today doesn't even make the top ten of stupidest things I've done while drunk- maybe not even the top ten of stupidest things most people have done while drunk. But when I look at all the relationships I've fucked up, all the money I've burned through, the fact that I can't get any momentum going...
So I'm saying let's start an AA fellowship right here on SR, lol.
I saw a psychologist recently (who introduced me to the artwork of Alex Grey, if that tells you anything) and he gave me the most amazing advice after I'd revealed to him my love of psilocybin:
"Leapfrogger, you can do all the mushrooms you want, but you can't keep drinking like you are."
He nailed it. Alcohol is just numbing the pain; hallucinogens allow you to really feel it, which is why they're "scary" for people in a way alcohol isn't.
I'm curious if there's anyone here who's successfully "graduated" from alcohol to hallucinogens, because I feel like if I keep drinking it's just a matter of time before something goes really, really wrong here.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Back to bed to sleep off the rest of this whisky before I have to wake up again in three hours.
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i would have thought just replacing booze with pot would be a better outcome then mushrooms and such. but what really worked for me is switching from the heavy booze to light beer only and i mean light not mid. when you make the change you dont notice that it's light, like you would now. your body gets use to it and you only know the difference if you relapse and you wake up feeling like shit and not remembering what you did the night before. fuck that for fun . make the switch bro. or give it a serious go and see if it works for you like it did for me.
good luck.
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hey capital stick it up your ass motherfucker