Silk Road forums

Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: DrugsBunny on November 29, 2011, 02:06 pm

Title: MDMA saved my life
Post by: DrugsBunny on November 29, 2011, 02:06 pm
OK so this is how it is, im your typical depressed person, traumatic childhood events such as seeing my mother in a pool of blood.
Anyway the last 3 years ive been doing nothing but smoking weed, popping pills and on the computer, i mean i havent gone out in public or had a shower since april, to lazy to eat so i look anorexic, no motivation, typical psychological addiction with my dad being the enabler, just being lazy, like i would rather do nothing then something cause if i do nothing, nothing will go wrong, i use to spend time imagining i could go back in time, apocalyptic situations and being a drug kingpin, not anymore, i received a powerbutton in the mail yesterday, and took it 3 hours ago.
I feel fantastic, i have to look forward, most people who are the losers at school and who have had a shitty life either kill themselves or overcome and turn out great, i dont want to kill myself anymore, i want to live, also now i really know why mdma is banned, its because this drug is the answer, the way things are now big pharma just wants to poison people with ssri drugs to make money, they dont want people healthy, imagine if they found a cure for cancer, it would make big pharma loose millions, they want people to stay sick to keep making money, so its pretty obvious they didnt ban it cause of abuse and not much known about it, its cause this is the cure of depression and all other head problems.
So anyway yeah im going to go to the doctor in the next few days, 3 years of not looking after myself has taken a toll, the bright side is i can say the reason i want help is cause of MDMA, i just hope i dont get people bias against drugs, but then ive been looking up drugs for 3 years so i know a lot, even stuff i though i would never take cause its hard to find non junkie drugs here in australia, but now cause of silk road i can, so yeah thank you silk road, i no longer have a ball and chain, and thanks shulgin, this is what he wanted, king of ecstasy? fuck no, more like king of psychoactive therapy.
So yeah thanks again, i fucking love you silk road, all the vendors and all the users.
Whether you use it recreational cause your bored or looking for fun, or therapeutically or to expand your mind, its everyones own right to do what they want as long as it doesnt harm anyone, yes its ok i guess to harm yourself but this illicit drugs are too useful to be banned, but then that goes into the big pharma crap how they dont want cures, they want more diseases to sell you placebo/poison, and try and scare you away from the illegals, shit even i fell for the propaganda, one time in high school we were talking about drugs and i said "why would you want to take ecstacy, its pressed with rat poison and glass", but now i want to have a go at at least medical use, convince people that mdma is what made me get out of the rutt.
Alright im going to just relax and listen to music, Funny how now i just feel so normal and focused, when im usually stoned, and this year i done a ton of dxm, nitrous and mxe which has made me a bit slow, but yeah now things are moving ahead, ill update on my progress.
Peace out.
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: mito on November 29, 2011, 02:43 pm
^^^ Good to hear that.       You deserve all the best.

I also find that certain substances make me feel better and open my mind, and they certainly help me improve.

However, we must be careful.   A bit of substance abuse could cause undesired effects, no matter how beneficial.
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: Bob Arctor on November 29, 2011, 02:51 pm
you're likely to feel shittier than before after you crash, tho.

[I hate sounding so negative all the time]
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: MagicMan on November 29, 2011, 04:09 pm
Yeah, MDMA has been known to worsen one's depression due to the havoc it wreaks on your brain, but I do wish you the best, depression sucks
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: RapidImprovement on November 29, 2011, 04:54 pm
Interesting, I always end up depressed and feeling like shit after MDMA. Maybe MDMA is your MXE :P

-RI
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: mambosun on November 30, 2011, 12:00 am
Hahahaha, he took the MDMA 3 hours ago...  Can't wait to see the thread he posts tomorrow!
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: mambosun on November 30, 2011, 12:02 am
But really I hope the feeling lasts for you, man!  Tomorrow you're probably not going to be so bubbly optimistic, but try and remember the thought process that you're experiencing right now and run with it.  I really hope the best for you!
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: NOC3 on November 30, 2011, 12:42 am
I always found LSD having a more lasting effect on me in that respect, but in saying that I've also had some of the best and most important experiences of my life on MDMA.

But good to see you're feeling better, MDMA can be wonderful and life changing.

Agreed, I have found psychedelics far most long-lasting when it comes to changing one's outlook. I would say shrooms had a much longer lasting effect on my mood than LSD, but LSD is so much more fun.
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: DrugsBunny on November 30, 2011, 09:55 am
Well this is good, just woke up, last night didnt really feel like shit when i was coming down except for a headache, though it might have been cause of some valium i took, today i still have a bit of a buzz and still feel motivated. When i first started getting into drugs i got some HBWR (seeds that contain LSA) and i would get the motivation but once i woke up the next day it felt like it was just a dream and that everything was back to where i started, tried DOC and 2C-E and they were just more recreational then introspective and thought provoking, but the nice and energetic feel has actually lasted which is great.
The only thing im kind of worried about is like im obviously going to have to talk with like psychs/councilors and ive been seeing them since i was 10, i know the tricks they pull, trying to put shit in your head and they force their own opinions on you, instead of keeping their own opinions to themselves.
Ive read some people mentioning drug use, even with like psychedelics, and they just get the typical "you do know that psychotropic substances are illegal and bad for you?" like they just dont take it seriously cause they are scheduled with no medical value, i can see myself talking about how mdma gave me the will to want to change and getting a reply like "dont be silly, ecstasy puts holes in your brain and drains your spinal fluid" like completely not taking me seriously.
I have a vast knowledge of drugs, but trying to debate usually ends up going round in circles never ending cause people can be stubborn with their beliefs and will stick to them no matter how much evidence you give about how wrong they are.
You know i really want to credit mdma for the change and try to get professionals to realize how useful this drug is so it can get some legitimate credit as a therapeutic tool, but things planed out in your head is way easier then when it actually happens.
I was just looking on clinicaltrials.gov for trials in aus with psychotropic drugs, i found one for the study of ketamine as an antidepressant, but its in a different state, do you think im getting too ahead of myself?
Should i just first focus on my problems, then like talk about MAPS and all that?
Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: caffeine_me on December 01, 2011, 07:40 pm
Although I like a variety of substances.
MDMA is the only one I can undoubtedly say it changed my life for the good....permanently.  I went from being an average student (College, B student) to getting nothing but A's.  I moved forward with relationships, got married, kid, etc. 

The great thing is you are now aware, now just take those positive thoughts and move forward.  I'd avoid drugs that down the senses (And dull your new sharp awarness), like benzo's/alcohol/weed/mxe/etc.

Good luck!

Title: Re: MDMA saved my life
Post by: Addy on December 01, 2011, 11:50 pm
I use most drugs because they make me feel pleasure, or help me get work done, or whatever. MDMA is unique, to me, in that it helps me be comfortable around other people. I've noticed a positive change in my perception of people since I started taking it. Several years ago I was a bitter misanthrope, and since my first roll, I've had a few ladyfriends, branched out and met new people, and actually desired others' company.

On the flip side, it is a drug, and my few original acquaintances have ceased contact with me, since they're pretty much as straight-edge as people can be. But I've learned to stop associating with those who don't accept you for who you are and what you do.

Sorry, bit of a ramble. Kinda drunk at the mo'.