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Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Adasel on June 12, 2012, 06:41 pm

Title: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 12, 2012, 06:41 pm
Breaking news.  Danny Boyle has revealed his plans for the opening ceremony of this years Olympic Games being held in London. 
It was shown on the 7 pm news on Channel 4 tonight.  Personally i cringed with fear.  I wont go into too much detail but i would love to hear what anyone else thinks, if they have seen it of course.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: sselevol on June 12, 2012, 07:09 pm
Breaking news, 3 months from now: Millions of people's lives empty after passing of Jubilee and Olympics.

The mosh pits are probably going to be to Coldplay or some wank the Olympics committee thinks is hip.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: wakannabi on June 12, 2012, 08:06 pm
u mean the zyolimpics with aliens has a mascot? loool
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: SRTRAVLER on June 12, 2012, 09:00 pm
i dont even know who the guy is, but this tread is funny
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: redalloverthelandguyhere on June 13, 2012, 02:46 am
I'm already bored by it all.

We got all the Olympic hopefuls doing adverts and its turned into big money spinning scam for the few whilst the host nation ends up with a big bill and stadium which is sold afterwards.

Sport is good when you take part in it! I'm surrounded in the pub by guys who are obsessed with sport but few are into this Olympics.

Well maybe we ought to have our own Olympics here on SR!

Events I envision (and others can add to)

Speed Marathon. The competitors are given a good recreational dose of amphetamine and then have to clean an house! Distractions will include a bag of weed and beer. This event is open to men and women.

Cocaine pub dash. Competitors will be given 200mg of top grade cocaine and will suddenly realize a few minutes before 'last orders' that they should go to the pub.

MDMA dance off. 100mg of the best and competitors will be judged by a panel of 100 E-veterans.

Hash eating competition! This involves the only drug you can go reckless on and live to tell the tale IF your using at home and can get the kids (if any) out for the night. Competitors will basically be consuming as much hash as they think they can take. We all start at say 7.00pm and have to report in every half hour to prove we are still 'with it'. The minimum amount of hash will be 2.5 grams. This is an event which really needs competitors who have done this before.

I'm going for 5 grams of hash. Not bubble hash or CO2 extracted! A basic dry sieve of 'shake'.

I would ask for sponsors but - lol - sadly we cannot get that.

With bubble hash 3 grams is my limit. Its more like LSD than hash! Especially if you got sativa based hash! You got to be careful if your a novice as even one gram of bubble hash would destroy you.

Also eating oil - we used milk but drinking it was foul. Now its capsules - melt a gram of oil per gram of olive oil. Wait to cool then puur out 200mg of the mixture per capsule. Biggish capsules so its easy to do. Each capsule has 100mg of cannabis oil. I ate 15 of them. I got to say I was full of joy. Went to a gig, danced and cheered and had a great laugh. My eyes were purple slits. By 3.00am I had the wok out and ate healthy nice tasting food. I crawled into bed but 2would have partied on if there was a party. I slept for 12 hours at least as I recall. Woke up stoned. I was still red eyed for most of the day  ;D

I love eating hash.

Back to events....

I think we could have a pole dancing event. Polish people dancing and the best pole gets a lifetimes supply of vodka and Polish amphetamine.

I like womens tennis also. Not sure if that is in the Olympics but if not its a shame.

That sport is fantastic. I am glued to the screen. Mrs Red calls me a pervert! But guys - would we watch a womens sport just to demean ourselves by watching soem breasts jiggling up and down and those legs! Women in tennis have great legs. And also they have a nice - well, lets not carried away. I would like to see Mrs Red in a tennis kit. Not to play tennis. More like a 'lets do some coke and get it on' type of desire.

Back to serious sports I'd like to see the 100 meter sprint but with the contestants wearing high heels. Not a foot fetishist myself but saw one of the guys in work wearing a pair in the pub and trying to run in them.

Mrs Red watches some mens sports just to get a glimpse of the tight shorts. that is so demeaning to guys! But I concede, I was not watching womens tennis for the love of the sport. But when those chicks grunt - its not my fault that DNA kicks in and some voice says 'impregnate'. Every man has that. But we can faithful as long as we don't actually bang other women.

Also I think we should allow the audience to vote who they think is the best.

One of my buddies in work (we are working!) says we ought to let lions be released, and basically have it like the Roman Coliseum. He takes lots of steroids and likes a bit of extremity. I tend to agree with law as it stands with allowing murder live on TV.

And a good event would be to see who is the fastest vendor on SR.

Starting from 7.00pm tomorrow, vendors can message me, ask me what I'd like sending and send it out. Fastest one will win some free drugs! They will also be spoken of in high terms here on the forums because we all love a vendor who ships out your order so fast that you actually get it before you even have those SR panic attacks. New people here will go through panic attacks when an order does not arrive in 3 days. Or 7 days if its the other end of the world! As you get more orders you panic less. Right now I can wait 2 weeks before I even message someone!

So vendors, crown yourself in glory, become the fastest bringer of substances on SR!

That little competition starts at 7.00pm tomorrow. I'll give Robert E in Mexico a weeks handicap for that 8 ball of washed goodness! Never washed Mexican coke off the block.

I'll donate all the drugs sent to charity. Well,  I am a charity case right now! I am not poor but I could not for example just order an 8 ball of coke right now! Well I could but I buy coke by the gram for the simple reason that having an 8 ball is too tempting.

Maybe that could be one event. 10 coke users, give them a gram of the finest coke, and the prize goes to the guy who is last to reload!

Instead of gold medals, silver and bronze we will have 500 BTC, 250 BTC and 125 BTC prizes.

Any ideas on this shit?

Feel free to add things.

Don't be shy now. Ladies also - what do you think?

Laters!
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 13, 2012, 03:33 am
The only thing I'm looking forward to about the Olympics is the influx of tourists that you can terrorize. 

My personal favourites -

Giving people the wrong directions.

Giving people wrong opening and closing times.

Stealing their seats in the pub.

Taking pictures of the sky when they ask you to take a picture of them.

Telling someone who can't read English something says something that it definitely doesn't.

Telling people that you have to all stand and salute every day at 12 noon for the Queen.

Fun times ahead!  ;D
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: breathe on June 13, 2012, 08:25 am
The ceremony looked pretty poor compared to beijing but I'm willing to watch it before I judge
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Raoul Duke on June 13, 2012, 08:29 am
The only thing I'm looking forward to about the Olympics is the influx of tourists that you can terrorize. 

My personal favourites -

Giving people the wrong directions.

Giving people wrong opening and closing times.

Stealing their seats in the pub.

Taking pictures of the sky when they ask you to take a picture of them.

Telling someone who can't read English something says something that it definitely doesn't.

Telling people that you have to all stand and salute every day at 12 noon for the Queen.

Fun times ahead!  ;D

nice tips, i already did the directions, seat stealing in pubs and taking pictures badly. normally i just cut their heads off in the pictures though, especially if the woman has a nice rack ;) i like the opening and closing times one
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 13, 2012, 08:38 am
Yeah one of my favourites is telling people who are out late at night and need drink/fags is that the supermarket 2 n half miles down the road is open 24/7 when it isn't and it shuts at 9. Funny shit.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 13, 2012, 05:45 pm
@breathe

I dont think anything will beat the Beijing Olympics mate!
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 13, 2012, 05:48 pm
@breathe

I dont think anything will beat the Beijing Olympics mate!

We can, we just need to convince the Chinese that Communism isn't the way forward. We'd have beat Beijing then lol. :)
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 13, 2012, 05:53 pm
LOL limitless, do you see mass confusion and chaos when the Olympics being here??
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 13, 2012, 06:03 pm
LOL limitless, do you see mass confusion and chaos when the Olympics being here??

If I can tell enough tourists to go towards a public toilet rather than the Olympic stadium....Yes.

I'll be a one man campaign of disinformation, people will be lost, turning up at Tesco at the wrong time and losing their pub-stools right from under their very noses.....
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 13, 2012, 06:11 pm
LMFAO bro. btw, answer my damn pms will you ! :P
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 13, 2012, 07:24 pm
LMFAO bro. btw, answer my damn pms will you ! :P

Oh shit yeah I forgot lol, soz man I have just been really lazy today because I've been in come down city. Will go through my messages in a bit.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: SRTRAVLER on June 15, 2012, 12:44 pm
The only thing I'm looking forward to about the Olympics is the influx of tourists that you can terrorize. 

My personal favourites -

Giving people the wrong directions.

Giving people wrong opening and closing times.

Stealing their seats in the pub.

Taking pictures of the sky when they ask you to take a picture of them.

Telling someone who can't read English something says something that it definitely doesn't.

Telling people that you have to all stand and salute every day at 12 noon for the Queen.

Fun times ahead!  ;D

nice tips, i already did the directions, seat stealing in pubs and taking pictures badly. normally i just cut their heads off in the pictures though, especially if the woman has a nice rack ;) i like the opening and closing times one

you guys are some serious assholes if you really do this shit to people.  And you guys ask yourselves why this world is so fucked up all the time.  Look at yourselves for the reason.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 15, 2012, 06:19 pm
@ SRTRAVLER

I do believe it was intended as a joke mate, either way, what are your views on the olympics in the UK?
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 15, 2012, 07:11 pm
LOL fuck me sometimes Americans have no sense of the humour when it comes to creating mischief. Like Adasel says of course it's a joke, and a fucking Grade-A-Gold-Stamped-110%-hilarious one at that.

I'm sorry but anyone who thinks it isn't funny to send drunk people to a shop when it isn't open at 4am really needs to lower their tone and come down and join myself, Raoul and anyone else who thinks it's hilarious. It's just hi-jinx mate, nothing world shattering.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: NorE on June 15, 2012, 07:32 pm
I have noticed though that people in the U.K are notorious when it comes to sending people who ask for directions in the wrong direction lol good thing there is gps on phones these days.. Cause i for sure as hell don't ask brits for directions anymore.. Englishmen are a bit better than Scottish to give directions though. But Brits must be allowed to have some fun i guess
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Raoul Duke on June 16, 2012, 09:45 am
Product request: sense of humour for SRTRAVLER
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 16, 2012, 11:51 am
I have noticed though that people in the U.K are notorious when it comes to sending people who ask for directions in the wrong direction lol good thing there is gps on phones these days.. Cause i for sure as hell don't ask brits for directions anymore.. Englishmen are a bit better than Scottish to give directions though. But Brits must be allowed to have some fun i guess

If you really want to know why we do it so much it's because we don't appreciate people bitching about taxation without representation OR people that think it's funny to throw tea into the sea! Yeah the thing is English guys do it for fun, Scottish people do it because of their genuine hatred of everyone.

There is a really specific formula for doing it to Americans as well that honestly you guys never seem to be able to see through.

From when the question is asked you do the following -

1. Sharp intake of breath.

2. Put on quirkiest British accent that will make any American feel they are in a scene from Mary Poppins.

3. Talk very fast so they don't understand and you have to repeat it and simplify it.

4. Never stop smiling. Americans like people that smile.

5. Always send them in the direct opposite of where they want to go, British streets aren't straight and confusing to Americans.

Watch these videos to see the accents that I use - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txp19ZNtFn8 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY4tD2Hbg_A&feature=related
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: NorE on June 16, 2012, 01:57 pm
I have noticed though that people in the U.K are notorious when it comes to sending people who ask for directions in the wrong direction lol good thing there is gps on phones these days.. Cause i for sure as hell don't ask brits for directions anymore.. Englishmen are a bit better than Scottish to give directions though. But Brits must be allowed to have some fun i guess

If you really want to know why we do it so much it's because we don't appreciate people bitching about taxation without representation OR people that think it's funny to throw tea into the sea! Yeah the thing is English guys do it for fun, Scottish people do it because of their genuine hatred of everyone.

There is a really specific formula for doing it to Americans as well that honestly you guys never seem to be able to see through.

From when the question is asked you do the following -

1. Sharp intake of breath.

2. Put on quirkiest British accent that will make any American feel they are in a scene from Mary Poppins.

3. Talk very fast so they don't understand and you have to repeat it and simplify it.

4. Never stop smiling. Americans like people that smile.

5. Always send them in the direct opposite of where they want to go, British streets aren't straight and confusing to Americans.

Watch these videos to see the accents that I use - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txp19ZNtFn8 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY4tD2Hbg_A&feature=related

lol I am not American, I'm Norwegian so then i guess it's revenge for the viking raids.. I think you are right when it comes to the scots. I have been in many sketchy places in my life, but few places i have seen so many fights and felt negative energy as i did in Glasgow. Well from the guys at least cause which girls don't get charmed by a nice Norwegian guy. :D
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 16, 2012, 02:05 pm
LOL @ Limitless.
Mary Poppins was freaking unbelievable mate.  Dick Van Dyke was bloody awful in that movie.  Americans probably expect us to speak in either total Posh or like Dyke.
No wonder poor old Cheryl Cole had such a hard time over there. 
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 16, 2012, 02:26 pm
Lol yes NorE, if you are told by someone the way to go to a hostel at the Olympics and you end up at Sainsbury's then it will indeed be in response to the Vikings. Granted it will be a belated response but it will be a response non-the-less. :P

And lol yeah, Dick Van Dyke can't do cockney for shiiiit.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: SRTRAVLER on June 16, 2012, 03:06 pm
LOL fuck me sometimes Americans have no sense of the humour when it comes to creating mischief. Like Adasel says of course it's a joke, and a fucking Grade-A-Gold-Stamped-110%-hilarious one at that.

I'm sorry but anyone who thinks it isn't funny to send drunk people to a shop when it isn't open at 4am really needs to lower their tone and come down and join myself, Raoul and anyone else who thinks it's hilarious. It's just hi-jinx mate, nothing world shattering.

"im gonna go around causing trouble to make myself feel good"

You sir, are sub-human.


And what do I think about the uk Olympics?  They can go fuck them selves after hearing about what the people are like. 
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 16, 2012, 03:19 pm
Possibly, but if that is the case I'm pretty happy being sub human. :)
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: babaluma on June 16, 2012, 04:15 pm
The only thing I'm looking forward to about the Olympics is the influx of tourists that you can terrorize. 

My personal favourites -

Giving people the wrong directions.

Giving people wrong opening and closing times.

Stealing their seats in the pub.

Taking pictures of the sky when they ask you to take a picture of them.

Telling someone who can't read English something says something that it definitely doesn't.

Telling people that you have to all stand and salute every day at 12 noon for the Queen.

Fun times ahead!  ;D

nice tips, i already did the directions, seat stealing in pubs and taking pictures badly. normally i just cut their heads off in the pictures though, especially if the woman has a nice rack ;) i like the opening and closing times one

you guys are some serious assholes if you really do this shit to people.  And you guys ask yourselves why this world is so fucked up all the time.  Look at yourselves for the reason.
This person is right, adolescent wanker xenophobes.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 17, 2012, 04:13 pm
@babaluma

Go and get a sense of humor dude.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Limetless on June 17, 2012, 05:19 pm
Why exactly am I a xenophobe? I love it how people are so ready to jump on their "IST" and "PHOBE" words as soon as they get a chance.

I actually do this to anyone, even my friends, not just foreigners and tourists. I think you need to perhaps check yourself before you throw around words like that because when you use them incorrectly it can back you look a bit silly.

Now I hope you don't cry about this but just in case I suggest you get some tissues out now but when I went to the pub last night I may have given someone the wrong directions on how to get to another pub down the road as well. And yes...it was very funny indeed.
Title: Re: The Olympic opening ceremony OMFG!
Post by: Adasel on June 18, 2012, 06:29 pm
Limitless you are right.
I do not mean to offend anyone but americans seem more partial to this than anyone.
I once had a conversation with a american in my local who happened to be visiting.  We were both talking about sports, both uk and stateside.  I mentioned something about the fact that american footballers have to wear padding and helmets as opposed to lets say, rugby players.
What i did not expect was his somewhat freakish response.  Basically he started saying that if it was not for the americans we would have never won the war!  ETC ETC ETC
Talk about loosing your nerve!