Silk Road forums
Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: dietcoke64 on May 31, 2013, 06:06 am
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I just wanted to discuss my GHB experience and get some feedback. I'm sorry if this is really fucking long but I want to give my background on using GHB so people understand where I'm coming from. You can skip the following part if you just want to get to the point of my post.
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I have been doing GHB for over a year now. I started doing it occasionally for adderall comedowns and it was great - it made me relaxed and got me to sleep.
Then I started realizing how great GHB was on it's own. It became my favorite drug - it didn't make me act retarded, like alcohol, it didn't make me have the ups/downs of stimulants (or the anxiety), and I was good at using it once in awhile.
Anyway then of course I got sucked into using GHB daily because it felt so great and I could act "normally" and nobody could tell I was on drugs. I was also abusing phenibut at the time, not knowing that they were both acting on the GABAb receptors. And of course one day came my downfall - all of a sudden one night, GHB failed me. I became an emotional basket case (everything made me cry), I stopped sleeping for at least a week (without literally a wink of sleep), I was having panic attacks and hallucinating while trying to hold down a job, etc. It was the worst experience of my entrie life, and believe me, I have had BAD drug experiences. This was beyond nuts.
One day my silkroad order of valium came in the mail (my saviour). Oh my god what a relief benzos gave me. After my first night of valium my withdrawal was gone. I had become horrified at GHB/phenibut and completely cut them out of my life.
That fall I started using GHB recreationally again. I was definitely over abusing it but somehow managed to escape withdrawal when my supply ran out (although I still had valium on my hands, thank god). I used GHB for about a month or two (not constantly, about a few times a week) before running out and deciding not to buy anymore.
Then in February I became drug-curious again. I still didn't tolerate alcohol well, marijuana just made me nervous and quiet, and every other drug I had pretty much tried before and dismissed. So I bought some POWDER GHB and thought I had it alll under control cause I could just weigh the GHB on my scale and not run into trouble.
But of course I did. My scale turned out to be bunk, so i was experimenting with doses that were probably wayy too high. I started passing out (luckily without running into danger), waking up and throwing up, my ears would be ringing and popping, and yet I would feel compelled it try it again within a day or two. Of course, eventually it stopped working. I became all emotional again. I threw out my remaining supply but unfortunately was out of valium for the next five days (except for this cheap shit that I ordered, that I'm quite sure wasn't valium), and I was in worse GHB-withdrawl hell than the summer before. My first two days of withdrawal I went to work - which was hell, every sound freaked the hell out of me, I felt like I was in another world, I was crying for no reason and trying to hide it from my coworkers. The next few days I called in sick or had the days off (thank god). I was afraid to leave my room, or even my bed, or even to move. I curled up in the ball and watched the entire series of The Office non-stop in order to distract myself from scary thoughts (for some reason, The Office was the only show I found comforting/not "scary".) I was sweating, tremoring and of course not sleeping. Later, after speaking to a psychiatrist, he said I should have definitely been in the hospital because I was on the verge of a seizure. ANYWAY, I finally got my valium prescription. I had been taking 20mg prior to the withdrawal, but not all of a sudden 5mg was a bliss (and yeah, I realize in retrospect I was simultaneously going through GHB withdrawl and benzo withdrawal - what a trip).
The end of that withdrawal got me off drugs for awhile obviously. I did occasionally did coke when I partied, and came to abuse alcohol quite a bit despite my dislike of it, but I had eliminated the GHB.
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Okay so that's the end of my long ass detailed history of GHB. It has been a very heavy up and down relationship.
So it's now almost June, and after avoiding silk road for awhile, I signed on and found some left over bit coins in my account. And then I found some cheap domestic GHB. I thought...hey, what the hell, it's been five months and I think I've learned my lesson about abusing GHB. I thought that, considering I am sick of alcohol and other drugs, I could use some GHB for some OCCASIONAL fun.
I received my GHB a few days ago. And the first day .. I ended up in the hospital. I took a vial (after reading the feedback on the GHB, one vial seemed appropriate), and I was fine. I was experiencing the bliss of GHB and was fine. A few hours later, thinking that it had worn off, I took a bit more because I didn't want to feel grumpy while coming off of it. I have done this before - taken a bit more hours later, and been perfect fine. But I collapsed in front of my family when meeting them for dinner. Apparently I was foaming at the mouth, I was repeating the words "pardon" and "no, I'm fine thanks" and slipping in and out of consciousness. I remember all of that part, and I remember the paramedics taking me to the hospital (luckily they found the vial in my purse and knew it was GHB so they didn't do any crazy treatment on me). In the hospital, I fell in and out of sleep and didn't throw up. My heart and blood pressure was healthy. But the experience was traumatizing, for me and my family obviously.
So now just I'm thinking - did my two previous episodes of withdrawal, even though they were spaced months apart, and what with the last one being five months ago, completely fuck over my response to GHB? I remember before I started taking GHB I though it was safe if consumed responsibly and obviously not mixed with alcohol, etc. I thought the whole "GHB is dangerous" was blown out of proportion. I did a lot of research on the internet. Now I'm reading about episodes of people dying taking GHB. Could I have died in that incident that occurred a few days ago? What kind of dosage do you have to take to die from just taking GHB? Am I more prone to overdose now? Even after not taking it for months, is my tolerance something ridiculous?
I'm actually kind of experiencing withdrawal just from that one incident. Luckily I have some clonazepam to help me through this. Maybe it's just the rebound anxiety, but I'm fearing for my health. I know the best advice is to throw it away, stop taking it. I know it's "the right thing to do". But I still have that little drug seeker inside of me. What if I took another vial in a few days (in the safety of my home). Would it just be hell all over again? Should I just give up on GHB for life?
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I just wanted to discuss my GHB experience and get some feedback. I'm sorry if this is really fucking long but I want to give my background on using GHB so people understand where I'm coming from. You can skip the following part if you just want to get to the point of my post.
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I have been doing GHB for over a year now. I started doing it occasionally for adderall comedowns and it was great - it made me relaxed and got me to sleep.
Then I started realizing how great GHB was on it's own. It became my favorite drug - it didn't make me act retarded, like alcohol, it didn't make me have the ups/downs of stimulants (or the anxiety), and I was good at using it once in awhile.
Anyway then of course I got sucked into using GHB daily because it felt so great and I could act "normally" and nobody could tell I was on drugs. I was also abusing phenibut at the time, not knowing that they were both acting on the GABAb receptors. And of course one day came my downfall - all of a sudden one night, GHB failed me. I became an emotional basket case (everything made me cry), I stopped sleeping for at least a week (without literally a wink of sleep), I was having panic attacks and hallucinating while trying to hold down a job, etc. It was the worst experience of my entrie life, and believe me, I have had BAD drug experiences. This was beyond nuts.
One day my silkroad order of valium came in the mail (my saviour). Oh my god what a relief benzos gave me. After my first night of valium my withdrawal was gone. I had become horrified at GHB/phenibut and completely cut them out of my life.
That fall I started using GHB recreationally again. I was definitely over abusing it but somehow managed to escape withdrawal when my supply ran out (although I still had valium on my hands, thank god). I used GHB for about a month or two (not constantly, about a few times a week) before running out and deciding not to buy anymore.
Then in February I became drug-curious again. I still didn't tolerate alcohol well, marijuana just made me nervous and quiet, and every other drug I had pretty much tried before and dismissed. So I bought some POWDER GHB and thought I had it alll under control cause I could just weigh the GHB on my scale and not run into trouble.
But of course I did. My scale turned out to be bunk, so i was experimenting with doses that were probably wayy too high. I started passing out (luckily without running into danger), waking up and throwing up, my ears would be ringing and popping, and yet I would feel compelled it try it again within a day or two. Of course, eventually it stopped working. I became all emotional again. I threw out my remaining supply but unfortunately was out of valium for the next five days (except for this cheap shit that I ordered, that I'm quite sure wasn't valium), and I was in worse GHB-withdrawl hell than the summer before. My first two days of withdrawal I went to work - which was hell, every sound freaked the hell out of me, I felt like I was in another world, I was crying for no reason and trying to hide it from my coworkers. The next few days I called in sick or had the days off (thank god). I was afraid to leave my room, or even my bed, or even to move. I curled up in the ball and watched the entire series of The Office non-stop in order to distract myself from scary thoughts (for some reason, The Office was the only show I found comforting/not "scary".) I was sweating, tremoring and of course not sleeping. Later, after speaking to a psychiatrist, he said I should have definitely been in the hospital because I was on the verge of a seizure. ANYWAY, I finally got my valium prescription. I had been taking 20mg prior to the withdrawal, but not all of a sudden 5mg was a bliss (and yeah, I realize in retrospect I was simultaneously going through GHB withdrawl and benzo withdrawal - what a trip).
The end of that withdrawal got me off drugs for awhile obviously. I did occasionally did coke when I partied, and came to abuse alcohol quite a bit despite my dislike of it, but I had eliminated the GHB.
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Okay so that's the end of my long ass detailed history of GHB. It has been a very heavy up and down relationship.
So it's now almost June, and after avoiding silk road for awhile, I signed on and found some left over bit coins in my account. And then I found some cheap domestic GHB. I thought...hey, what the hell, it's been five months and I think I've learned my lesson about abusing GHB. I thought that, considering I am sick of alcohol and other drugs, I could use some GHB for some OCCASIONAL fun.
I received my GHB a few days ago. And the first day .. I ended up in the hospital. I took a vial (after reading the feedback on the GHB, one vial seemed appropriate), and I was fine. I was experiencing the bliss of GHB and was fine. A few hours later, thinking that it had worn off, I took a bit more because I didn't want to feel grumpy while coming off of it. I have done this before - taken a bit more hours later, and been perfect fine. But I collapsed in front of my family when meeting them for dinner. Apparently I was foaming at the mouth, I was repeating the words "pardon" and "no, I'm fine thanks" and slipping in and out of consciousness. I remember all of that part, and I remember the paramedics taking me to the hospital (luckily they found the vial in my purse and knew it was GHB so they didn't do any crazy treatment on me). In the hospital, I fell in and out of sleep and didn't throw up. My heart and blood pressure was healthy. But the experience was traumatizing, for me and my family obviously.
So now just I'm thinking - did my two previous episodes of withdrawal, even though they were spaced months apart, and what with the last one being five months ago, completely fuck over my response to GHB? I remember before I started taking GHB I though it was safe if consumed responsibly and obviously not mixed with alcohol, etc. I thought the whole "GHB is dangerous" was blown out of proportion. I did a lot of research on the internet. Now I'm reading about episodes of people dying taking GHB. Could I have died in that incident that occurred a few days ago? What kind of dosage do you have to take to die from just taking GHB? Am I more prone to overdose now? Even after not taking it for months, is my tolerance something ridiculous?
I'm actually kind of experiencing withdrawal just from that one incident. Luckily I have some clonazepam to help me through this. Maybe it's just the rebound anxiety, but I'm fearing for my health. I know the best advice is to throw it away, stop taking it. I know it's "the right thing to do". But I still have that little drug seeker inside of me. What if I took another vial in a few days (in the safety of my home). Would it just be hell all over again? Should I just give up on GHB for life?
No i would say its more likely the vial contained a much larger dose than you thought, if anything you should have a tolerance not the opposite. Its very rare for anyone to overdose on JUST GHB. 99% of overdoses are the result of ghb in combination with another drug most commonly another CNS depressant like opiates, alcohol, or benzos. The thing about GHB is it can put you into pretty much a mini coma but its not actually dangerous. I have heard of people taking over 100 grams per day everyday for years without a truly dangerous overdose. Thats not to say what they were doing is safe but GHB is very hard to actually die from. Its endogenous so your body knows exactly how to break it down and its metabolized into H20 and CO2 in a matter of hours. You really should stop using GHB all together as it seems to be a problem for you personally.
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i took ghb with nyquil BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT EVER DO THIS
i pissed myself got violent. foaming at the mouth and i dont remember it either it sucked
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In my experience, it's possible to develop a hypersensibility to some drugs. I used to be pretty resistant to alcohol but ever since I got way too drunk too many times, only one beer makes me dizzy and alcohol has become pretty dysphoric for me. It only takes me half as much alcohol to get drunk now even though I only very rarely drink now because it sucks most of the time. The same thing has happened for codeine after kind of an overdose where my skin became bright red and extremely itchy because of all the histamine release, it was like a massive allergic reaction and highly unpleasant but that's what codeine does. After that, even low doses of codeine make me have strong adverse reactions even though normal doses of codeine didn't use to make me all red and itchy before that. A doctor also told me that hypersensibilty can develop for some drugs, especially opiates, some people tolerate them less and less the more they use them. Other opiates work fine for me, thank god :)
So yes, you can definitely have some sort of reverse tolerance in my experience, although only the side effects get stronger and usually not the euphoria.
To answer your other question, non tolerant people can die from GHB alone starting at about 10g but that's pretty rare. More than 5g is usually the GHB "coma" that's just unarousable sleep and over 10g convulsions can start and death can occur. It's always possible to die from vomiting while in the 5g state though.
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Give up GHB for life.
I've never taken it, but from what I read about it, you're never going to be able to 'use it occasionally', given your history with it.
I don't mean to sound so judgmental, but you did ask the question.
When you used to 'enjoy' it, you were much younger, your body and mind, are more resilient to abuse. Then, eventually the drug starts to win the game, and slowly your body starts to lose.
It seems to be a very addictive drug, similar to alcohol, and benzos. Also mixing alcohol w/it has proven deadly for many.
I'm an addict, and I've been through 4 rehabs dating back to the 1980's, so I know the patterns, the feelings, the want and need to justify a reason to "do it once more" and maybe this time if I do it this way. - NO. - Find something different.
I still use, and I'm 40(something :-X), but I've learned to 'respect' 3 things that have taken me into the depths of hell. For me, Benzo's - Opiates- and Alcohol. - Do I still use these from time to time? - Yes. - Though I'm telling you no. - Hypocritical of me, isn't it?
Sorry, you just touched a nerve, and I feel like I'm talking to a younger me 20 some odd years ago.
Try to think; What is it that I'm yearning for, when I want to do GHB? What is it that is or was missing from my life, when I began taking it, and then began loving it more than most people? Is it adding something I never had? Helping me escape an uneasy feeling, perhaps inadequacy, social or otherwise?
Well, I don't know where I'm going here with this. I'm starting to sound like a self-righteous counselor at a drug facility.
Just be careful. Try other things?? - You seem fairly young. 20's I'm guessing?
If anything, take a nice long break from it. I did for 8 years starting around age 25, abstaining from everything, and throwing myself into nutrition, and healthy living. I had a few more negative run-ins with substance abuse after abandoning sobriety. Then parenthood came along, and with it, the responsibilities one would expect. Now I primarily use Adderall or just plain Amphetamine, since it actually helps me live a better life. A Valium every so often to 'come down' or 'crash'. I may dabble with a little H once in a while, and that's my naughty little secret. With myself I guess, as my kids are off to college, and I'm divorced. - I'm absolutely sure had I not taken that 8 year break way back when, I'd be long gone, six feet under.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope I wasn't too forward in my assumptions. Like I said, I was basically talking to myself.
The best thing you can do is talk about it.
Chip
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GHB for a year??
I think you need an antipsychotic to not become psychotic while quitting. Also build down exact same ghb for over 1 week and start adding 10mg's of valium. Try not to get over 40mg's but they are not very genuine on SR so be careful and test them if you can.
Then you can build off the valium which should be easy since its just for one week. And then the antipsychotics. We have some seroquel 100mg's left from a buddy who got them for that same reason.
First 4x 100mg seroquel was used for one week and xyrem was build off by 1ml per 8 hours when ingesting every 2 hours if you did so. It prevents the possibility of becoming psychotic or dying.
Then when the xyrem was builed off, or not totally we do not remember. Valium was then added. For one person up to a total of 80mg's which was 10mg's every 2 hours. Which was too much. 40 should suffice but they should be genuine. We have genuine ones but we do not know if we can ship so much now since we need it for a friend with the same experience while only using ghb/gbl for one week now...
Too bad we already have another bad case of ghb/gbl addiction within 2 weeks so we will help him in the best way. We might provide you some seroquel 100mg genuine tabs but we should re look at stock. Some friends bought them for snorting since they read it works as cocaine. Actually it does not. And it is really awful to snort them.
If you really wish to quit, pm us. We have experienced many GHB addicts who had to take it every 2 hours and passed out many times. Some became sexually assultive, some could not function at all anymore and some became psychotic and some died either by using too much ghb or quitting without knowing how to do so in a safe manner. Our diazepam 5mg really contain 5mg. Perhaps we might have some zolpidem 10mg's as well. These are not used officially to quit taking GHB but they do work a lot better than diazepam to fall asleep and continue sleeping.
Do you also use other drugs/medication/alcohol?
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I have now read your entire story.
You can definitely die from GHB alone. Unlike what the other poster says. It's easy to overdose and you can die from heart failure or breathing problems. The GHB you ordered in one vial might have been gbl. Then you took 5 grams instead of about 1. Puking from GHB one vial is unlikely. Although your body might reject it all together. Your puke can also turn green.
You really should stop taking GHB all together.
Also read our posts in BlueGiraffe's review topic. Did you order the powder from him? If so then that would be funny because then his powder really is not better than Xyrem and it;s way overpriced and people actually die a lot from GHB or ghb with unreacted gbl in it.
You should definitely not quit GHB once addicted to it without knowing how to. Many people have died from doing this.
Stop using drugs all together if you can. Otherwise seek professional help. Or use our help but we are not sure if we have enough supplies. We do ship genuine products. Unlike BlueGiraffe we do care about people's health. Most vendors do not give a shit and make poisonous drugs and tell they it's top notch. They might cause lead poisoning by using aluminium pots.
It's too bad GHB is so attractive. It works on GABA, and works well against asexuality while on medications.
Puking from GHB is more likely because it's not really GHB.
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The OP isn't addicted to GHB anymore, he has been twice but this time he "just" had an overdose and asked if having been addicted could make one more sensitive to a drug, the answer to which is yes as I have explained.
And Chip, GHB isn't as dangerous as alcohol.. They're both as addictive which means the addiction comes on slow, which is okay if you take it recreationally only. You're almost never gonna feel like "just taking that last dose" if you're not already addicted, unlike with really addictive drugs where even after the first time you want to do it again.
Virmo, the valium on SR isn't complete crap, but yeah, there's a lot of not so strong Indian one. I'd recommend clonazepam to taper off, it's genuine on the road and clonazepam is sedating for a long time, about 20 hours, unlike valium which is softer. I think clonazpam would be a better option for GHB withdrawals, alcohol can be used too if you really have nothing else to end your withdrawals. A GHB addiction is less dangerous than a benzo or alcohol addiction though, dying from GHB withdrawals is extremely rare, even if they are severe. With alcohol it's fairly common for strong addicctions though and with benzos it happens sometimes. Also, I don't see why you have such a problem with BG's GHB. Obviously his powder isn't any better than Xyrem, because Xyrem is of pharmaceutical quality and that's as good as it gets. BG's GHB is of higher quality than most homemade liquid GHB though, simply because you need a lot more equipment and skill to make powder GHB, and a good chemist won't leave impurities on his products. BG's GHB powder is completely dry, something that's very hard to achieve. You can't dry liquid GHB just by boiling off the water.. You'd have to heat at a temperature higher that the temperature at which GHB decomposes. So believe me, BG's powder GHB is of a higher quality and if you want to use GHB I recommend that because it's easier to dose and it's cleaner so easier on your body. Liquid GHB is okay and cheaper but more dangerous because you can overdose by accident and it's not as clean.
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You can make powder GHB with ethanol. We did so once but could not try it because it was thrown away.
It was make with 99,99pure GBL in a bottle and ethanol 96% ethanol and 4% water. So I guess it can't be completly dry although we has some after putting it in a non electrical oven.
Ethanol with methanol or just using methanol can produce completely dry powder but then you have to make sure there is no methanol in it since it's very bad for your health.
GB's powder is way overpriced and he does not know how to make this himself. He also does not want to share any information and is a genuine asshole businessman.
Read our post there.
We replied to OP before reading his whole text. But in case OP becomes addicted again we offer our best help to taper it off and use precautions so not to die.
Our valium is 100% genuine as is our seroquel. We wish we could make Xyrem but we did not study for it.
GB sais his powder is better than Xyrem which is not true. When you get Xyrem from pharms you can ask what is in it. Which you cant with GB. He just claims its more potent and clean. Did anybody ever test this? And no way powder has his prices. Which is why he did not want to share info with old virmo. He is afraid of competition. We would sell it for half or a quarter of the price and he would lose his business.
they did have professional equipment back then. But some vendor ordered from them and then did send it to the feds and police came because fingerprints were on their products.. Why do you thing old virmo had so many bad karma?
Its the big fish using multiple accounts to give bad karma and order as legit customers and then send it to the feds...
Powder being more potent means nothing. If your scale sucks like OP's did then you can still overdose.
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The OP isn't addicted to GHB anymore, he has been twice but this time he "just" had an overdose and asked if having been addicted could make one more sensitive to a drug, the answer to which is yes as I have explained.
And Chip, GHB isn't as dangerous as alcohol.. They're both as addictive which means the addiction comes on slow, which is okay if you take it recreationally only. You're almost never gonna feel like "just taking that last dose" if you're not already addicted, unlike with really addictive drugs where even after the first time you want to do it again.
I don't see where I claimed one having a danger level higher than the other. Now that you mention it, I don't think it's possible to measure the inherent danger of the two, since one is legal, and socially acceptable, the other is a highly controlled narcotic, right off the bat, the danger of being arrested for possession with intent to sell, kind of gives GHB a head start in the danger race.
I'm not here to debate anything.
Dietcoke64 asked for feedback. So based on my experience with addiction, and recovery, as well as trying to live life while learning to really control my intake of that which usually winds me up in some negative circumstances.
I don't have a horse in this race. The OP seemed to me, like they wanted to be told to just 'give it up'. Or they needed to be, IMHO.
When I see or hear someone pouring their heart out about how a substance has had a negative impact on their life, even life threatening, the last thing I want to do is tell them "Oh you're just not doing it right"- OR "My stuff is better, you won't have those problems with my product"
For some strange reason I'm compelled to urge them to try to live without it. It seems rather vapid and vacuous to carry on about who's got the better version of the drug the OP clearly should steer clear of for at least a while, or all together.
This is my opinion. Take it or leave it.
I just wanted to discuss my GHB experience and get some feedback.
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I'm actually kind of experiencing withdrawal just from that one incident. Luckily I have some clonazepam to help me through this. Maybe it's just the rebound anxiety, but I'm fearing for my health. I know the best advice is to throw it away, stop taking it. I know it's "the right thing to do". But I still have that little drug seeker inside of me. What if I took another vial in a few days (in the safety of my home). Would it just be hell all over again? Should I just give up on GHB for life?
I think you've already answered your own question.
I hope my feedback helped.
Peace
Chip
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Indeed, stay clear of GBL and GHB - perhaps sell whatever you ave left, but do no use it yourself.
These really are not substances you would like to find yourself dependent on. As a pure substance GHB may not even be that bad, but unless you synthesize it yourself from known-good ingredients there is no way to know what you are actually ingesting,.
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TL;DR
Cliff notes?
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Indeed, stay clear of GBL and GHB - perhaps sell whatever you ave left, but do no use it yourself.
These really are not substances you would like to find yourself dependent on. As a pure substance GHB may not even be that bad, but unless you synthesize it yourself from known-good ingredients there is no way to know what you are actually ingesting,.
I agree if you have half a brain and can use GHB even as regularly your average non alcoholic drinker and you actually measure your dose its one of the safer drugs that people use. For one its ENDOGENOUS your body produces its own and knows exactly what to do with it, the only other compound that is true with is DMT the safest psychedelic. In terms of CNS depressants that work on the GABA system GHB is the safest by a mile. So yes like every other chemical substance in the universe it possible to take to much and die but its never the result of GHB causing respiratory depression to the point you stop breathing and die like all other CNS depressants. Your body actually has a subset of receptors dubbed GHB receptors. Its also true you can become both psychologically and physically addicted but its very hard to become physically addicted as you have to dose 24/7 for months. 24/7 as in taking a dose every 1-2 hours all day everyday for months. If your doing that your going to have problems even if your just drinking water. If you already have been addicted to any substance than you should never use said substance again or your going to be right back where you started. I hate that GHB has been so vilified for no reason and there is more misinformation that cannabis or lsd have. Even on silk road people dont know the first thing about it.... It saddens me deeply