Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: dizzy987 on March 17, 2012, 07:15 am
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Ok here's what's up... I am married with a young child, both of which I love very much. When I was younger I was a complete Junkie, starting with meth, then coke, then got pretty bad into heroin, until I got married and after about a month or so it all came out and I came clean, it was hard but I made it right with her. I have been clean for years and oddly heroin doesn't come close to the urge I've had to do a bump of meth. I have already decided to indulge again in fact recently procured some good looking shards, the trouble is my wife would notice my eyes and actions and I'd be busted immediately, I need to find or make an opportunity to do this. I know I need at least 3 days 1 1/2 to tweak 1 1/2 to sleep and recover and have eyes return to normal. I was thinking maybe pretending I got arrested on tickets or something, but she'd call the jail and ask about my bail and charges and she knows how all that works... I really need some ideas on how to get away for a few days... Any Ideas would be most appreciated I just want to enjoy myself at least once. ANY SUGGESTIONS?
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imo honestly bro if you were strong enough to get cleaned up and went through all that suffering and effort... just really think about whether it is worth potentially relapsing and losing your family and life just for some meth. I recently lost relationship to my love partly due to an opiate addiction, so i just hope you are able to stay clean and not lose yours as well. is losing your kids worth a high???
if you are thinking about lying to your wife you need to reconsider more important things than doing meth again... imo one of the most important aspects of a relationship is honesty. if you are considering being deceitful you are just as likely to ruin your relationship as for just using meth one more time.
what i think you should do is be open with the one you love, and admit you want to use the meth again. if she believes you have things under control then maybe you can convince her to tolerate your seldom use. if she is against your use, be grateful you have someone to help motivate you not to relapse. if she knows you are going to do it, then no reason to lie and get caught or make her think youre having an affair when you sneak away for a few days on a business trip.
Just my thoughts, please be safe
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My first suggestion is don't lie to your wife, trust me, that shit rarely turns out well.
My first suggestion that may be useful is business trip (if your job has such things) or just a guy weekend. Sometimes boys need to be boys, wife should understand.
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I think your right, I really do not want to lie to her again, because I know I would lose everything, (Im a bad liar anyway) the problem is I already have it, and my mind has been racing and I can't get it out of my mind, to put it bluntly this stuff IS going to end up inside of me, I DO NOT have the strength to throw it away... I've also had the idea of while were at dinner going to the bathroom and saying I found it in the stall or something and then tell her I want to do it... does anyone have any ideas on how to get to my inevitable end result without losing everything?
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My first suggestion that may be useful is business trip (if your job has such things) or just a guy weekend. Sometimes boys need to be boys, wife should understand.
The guy weekend isn't feasible because of my past, I have had to abandon all but one of my friends for this relationship, and she doesn't trust the one friend shes let me keep.
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I first wanted to say you should leave a ransom note, and just take off for a couple days. you could come up with an amazing escape story, and turn into a hero from it..... But seriously I say be honest with your wife that you are craving a taste of that old life. My wife knew who I was when she married me, and while she doesn't agree with aspects of my lifestyle, she understands that I don't agree with aspects of hers. We love each other for who we each are. I allow her freedom to be herself, and she allows me to be myself. But I know we wouldn't be where we are today with lies, and sneaking around.