Silk Road forums

Discussion => Security => Topic started by: undahcovah on June 11, 2012, 07:19 am

Title: FBI here
Post by: undahcovah on June 11, 2012, 07:19 am
Hey, FBI investigator here.
I'm assigned to this case, but personally, I have no problems with it as long as no one gets hurt.
Anyways, a report is due in a few days and I'd like some bogus information so no one above has any idea what to do.

What are some things I can slip into the report to make it tougher to bring you down?
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: genghar on June 11, 2012, 07:23 am
OK.  Let us go to crazy town and buy into your scenario.

What would stop your superiors from seeing this thread and getting your ass fucked?
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: GlocksInMySocks on June 11, 2012, 07:25 am
Lets kill the Cop. How about this who ever kills the under cover we all chip in a few bitcoins for their trouble.
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: TreyWingo104 on June 11, 2012, 08:44 am
Just slip the word penis in there at least once for shits and giggles...

For example...The penisless Fbi intend to....
or
We wank so much to our god cplex that our penises are chafed and sore

Cherrio!
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: sselevol on June 11, 2012, 08:46 am
In case you didn't notice we're a website of Israeli communists who are smuggling kiddie porn and nuclear arms into the USA. DPR is Bin Laden's uncle and we all live in one big squat together, getting high off our own farts and watching Seinfeld.
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: souledout on June 11, 2012, 08:56 am
buy a vial of acid and spike the watercooler


that should slow them down !
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: Kappacino on June 11, 2012, 09:06 am
Yes, I'm with that guy.

Buy some liquid 25i-nbome (its very cheap!)

And throw that into the work coffee supply.

It's a relatively weak psychedelic so noone will go insane or anything absurd, but people will have trippy as fuck visuals and it will change the way they see the world (at least for a short while)

Actually, that's from the perspective of someone into drugs.. What would probably happen is they would have a panic attack, shit themselves, and go into therapy or into some kind of episode, thinking they had gone insane. That's probably the actual reality of it
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: Come At Me Bro on June 11, 2012, 10:17 am

Buy some liquid 25i-nbome (its very cheap!)

And throw that into the work coffee supply.

Wouldn't do a whole lot ;)
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: softglass on June 11, 2012, 01:28 pm
If you truly are an FBI agent ( 8)) I would suggest reporting on the prescription drugs "available" on this site.  Seeing as the majority of the illegal narcotics are very very under developed in terms of sales representation, the average citizen would not consider this site to be of epidemic proportions; for my opinion.

There are a lot of prescriptions on this site, and I do think big pharmaceutical companies would be at the very least interested to know where their drugs are going.  I'm not suggesting covering up the narcotics such as the weed and amphetamines, but maybe adapt a different approach to them.  If you outlaw the site, it will all go back on the street.  This way, 21 year old college students don't have to drive to their local ghetto at 3 in the morning to buy drugs.  It is ultimately safer,  but still something that needs to be dealt with.

The users on this site, however productive or real they may be, know they need to use it anonymously.  They should take pride in knowing that as it helps keep their habits safe.  Prejudice is very prevalent in drug use, and can lead to a lot of mixed results.  Drugs will never be done away with, but eating a chicken risotto every night and waking up to an 'ill mannered' citizen headache isn't going to help anything.  The drug community is it's own community and needs to accept that.  There should with a doubt be an agreement when logging into this site to prevent anyone from spreading unneeded information on users. 

I don't have the best history with any matter, but I know what it's like to be paranoid and still want the best to happen.  That's all I have to say.

There are some very scary and harrowing opportunities available here, and I'm more than happy to help work them out as I simply want the best.  What goes around comes around I suppose. :o
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: Limetless on June 11, 2012, 02:18 pm
I'm gunna get all hypothetical and pretend that this isn't a joke. Just to make it clear if you were real, surely you wouldn't have posted this publicly because let's face it....it's kind of obvious that there's going to be more than one solitary-fuck of an FBI agent investigating SR. It's pretty obvious that the DEA, Customs, ATF, and whatever you Americanos have as your version of the Fraud Squad would be interested in this place as well as the FBI. On top of that you will have SOCA, the Fraud Squad, HMRC watching as well so anyone who did a report that showed this place in a not-so-negative-light would clearly be singled out. In fact, here is how the conversation after reading it would go -

FBI wanker boss - Hmmm.....everyone apart from Agent Jenkins has stated that Silk Road is a clear and present danger to the lives of young Americans blah blah fucking blah

FBI wanker boss's minion - Oh....that's odd....there was someone who said they were an FBI agent that said they were going to go easy on Silk Road....

FBI wanker boss - Also....the report contains the same things that were suggested to that FBI agent who made that post....

FBI wanker boss's minion - What shall we do sir?

FBI wanker boss - Well for starters you better take Agent Jenkins off my Departmental Christmas Card list.....you better cancel his bonus too.....

(or something to that effect)

If you are an ACTUAL Fucked-up Beyond Imagination agent (see what I did there....pretty witty in my opinion ;)) can you say that DPR is actually George Bush, he didn't do your country any favours and if you could just say DPR is actually George Bush it would do your country a lot of favours along with doing us a lot of favours. For all those thinking "But wait Lim...what about any future Bush anecdotes we may miss out on", the guys out of office now. There ain't gunna be any Bush-isms of any value UNLESS we get him in the doc for drug-charges.

Everyone's a winner!
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: The_Divine on June 11, 2012, 04:23 pm
Guys, why are you responding so excessively? Way 2 much words been written here, obviously a troll.
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: Limetless on June 11, 2012, 04:31 pm
Guys, why are you responding so excessively? Way 2 much words been written here, obviously a troll.

Haha keeps me occupied. :P
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: CaptainTrips on June 11, 2012, 04:49 pm
Hey, FBI investigator here.
I'm assigned to this case, but personally, I have no problems with it as long as no one gets hurt.
Anyways, a report is due in a few days and I'd like some bogus information so no one above has any idea what to do.

What are some things I can slip into the report to make it tougher to bring you down?

tell them that we are an elite terrorist organization that's hell-bent on fucking the global economic system (oh wait...) by peddling illicit drugs and weaponry (although it's still more difficult to get a gun from the Armory than it is to get them from some of the southern states in the US). we're going to take away the freedoms of this world (oh wait...) and start a revolution of delusional, power-hungry fascists that will try to abolish free-thinking altogether (oh wait...). Actually, you won't have much to tell them at all.
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: soyyo1114873 on June 11, 2012, 05:39 pm
Undahcovah! Hilarious! Where's agent Mulder? I'd trust him.
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: Kappacino on June 11, 2012, 05:49 pm

Buy some liquid 25i-nbome (its very cheap!)

And throw that into the work coffee supply.

Wouldn't do a whole lot ;)

Hey that's not true. I've read that FBI guys like to keep the coffee between their cheeks for at least 45 minutes like a tripped out squirrel. I always thought that that was a strange phenomenon, and now is the perfect opportunity to take advantage of that
Title: Re: FBI here
Post by: Limetless on June 11, 2012, 05:57 pm

Buy some liquid 25i-nbome (its very cheap!)

And throw that into the work coffee supply.

Wouldn't do a whole lot ;)

Hey that's not true. I've read that FBI guys like to keep the coffee between their cheeks for at least 45 minutes like a tripped out squirrel. I always thought that that was a strange phenomenon, and now is the perfect opportunity to take advantage of that

LOL....funny shit. :P