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Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: yovvit on March 26, 2012, 02:53 pm

Title: drugs and general happiness
Post by: yovvit on March 26, 2012, 02:53 pm
I'm trying not to be whiny, my life is good for many reasons and that's why I'm posting this. Recently I'm just feeling down in general and feeling as if everything is a colossal effort to the extent I barely want to go out and see people, I usually just stay in and do nothing at the weekends. When I'm high (not so much weed anymore, it makes me feel shitty and ill, so more tripping) I'm usually ecstatic and life is awesome and I see every reason to get through the day, and I usually get a little afterglow that makes me happy for one or two days after, but in between taking drugs I just really don't see much point in anything, and the last thing I want to do is ruin my life by wasting money and time by relying on drugs for my happiness. The experience I've had with my last girlfriend has nearly put me off relationships completely, so I can't rely on that front either.

Can anyone give me any advice or tips on how to better my general outlook on continuing throughout the day?
Thanks a lot guys, it's really appreciated.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: Addy on March 26, 2012, 03:12 pm
Sounds like you have depression. Why not meet with a doctor and see if you could get prescribed an anti-depressant or something?
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: yovvit on March 26, 2012, 04:01 pm
I don't like to think I have depression as I understand it's very serious and I don't think I'm really that bad, but if it continues I will see a doctor, thank you.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: tordemon on March 26, 2012, 04:17 pm
I don't like to think I have depression as I understand it's very serious and I don't think I'm really that bad, but if it continues I will see a doctor, thank you.
Take a break from drugs, I'd say. I end up in that same headspace sometimes, where I don't even really see a point in getting out of bed, but that's when I know I need to stay sober for a while. I sort of alternate between being sober and being fucked up because it allows me to appreciate the other so much more. Just go like 3 weeks sober and I think you'll like how you feel more.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: rise_against on March 27, 2012, 03:09 am
set some sort of goal for yourself whether it be artistic or academic.  life is always better when you actually have a purpose.   many others are using ketamine and MXE as an anti-depressants also.  live can suck at times, but without the bitter, the sweet wouldnt be as sweet.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: a_blackbird on March 27, 2012, 06:55 am
Take a break from the chemicals.  Set yourself a goal.  These are both good suggestions.  To those I would add - next time you're high and you can see all the reasons to get through the day - write some of them down.  Use it to remind yourself when you're not feeling so happy.

I had a similar experience to what you're describing.  Back in the day (we're talking 10 years ago, I'm an old motherfucker), my DoC was MDMA.  For a good year or so, I was rolling pretty much every weekend, sometimes twice a weekend.  I could easily put down 20 pills in a weekend.  After doing this for awhile, I started to notice that during the week, I just felt totally "gray" - that's the best way I can put it - not so much depressed or even sad - just a complete lack of interest in anything, sort of like what you're describing, I think.  Funny thing is that my girlfriend at the time (who was also a serious pill-muncher) would tell me that the pills were *not* the problem in our relationship whenever I'd mention that I thought the ecstasy was making me feel like shit.  I kicked her out, and I quit eating pills.  After about 3 weeks clean, I started to feel better.  =)

As far as clinical depression goes - certainly I would say go see a doctor if things don't eventually improve - but there's a pretty significant difference between a short-term period of the blues and legitimate depression.  And SSRIs and anti-depressants and other such psychoactive drugs are no joke.  Some of that stuff can seriously fuck your shit up much worse than it was before you started taking - so don't go down that road unless you've tried everything else and don't see any other alternatives.

Shit always gets better, though.  Sometimes it just takes awhile.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: HeyOItsMe2 on March 27, 2012, 07:06 am
Take a break from the chemicals.  Set yourself a goal.  These are both good suggestions.  To those I would add - next time you're high and you can see all the reasons to get through the day - write some of them down.  Use it to remind yourself when you're not feeling so happy.

Good advice, never thought to do that. I'd say good advice for everyone not just those who been feeling down.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: wt on March 27, 2012, 07:50 am
A few things that I've found helpful:

-Write down how you feel in a journal, body and mind.  I hate doing it, but when I review my earlier comments I find it easier to identify things (i.e. substances) that have been beneficial and those that haven't and under what circumstances

-Ask yourself if there are obligations that you are imposing on yourself which are limiting your choices and might be contributing to your unhappiness.  Are there family or other expectations that are preventing you from changing at all?

-Try using more "enabling" drugs in order to change your situation.  Alcohol, weed, and some trippers are likely just to put you in a relaxed state (not a bad thing!), but if you recognize that you really need to change your life's situation, then you might try something like adderall, which while way more dangerous than weed and lsd and such, might help you explore other life options more rigorously.

-If you have the money, see a psychiatrist and just tell them straight out about the drugs you've been taking and how you feel.  If they seem uncomfortable with your drug use, don't go back.  Find someone that is at least that open-minded.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: The Romantic Era on March 27, 2012, 07:59 am
set some sort of goal for yourself whether it be artistic or academic.  life is always better when you actually have a purpose.   many others are using ketamine and MXE as an anti-depressants also.  live can suck at times, but without the bitter, the sweet wouldnt be as sweet.
+1 on the ketamine / mxe for depression. they have done more for my depression than any doctor prescribed meds or therapy ever could.

check this out if you want: http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/01/30/145992588/could-a-club-drug-offer-almost-immediate-relief-from-depression

also, as a sufferer of bipolar disorder, i wholeheartedly agree with the statement of 'without the bitter, the sweet wouldnt be as sweet'

its helped me, but hey,maybe you wanna talk to a psychiatrist or something...just remember the myth that is psychiatry, at least in many, many ways: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/mar/02/mythoftheantipsychotic

edit: i agree with wt. seeing a psychiatrist that is open-minded is great. but, if they seem 'freaked out' or judgmental of your drug use, then they are not for you, at least in my opinion and experience

Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: aligibbs on March 27, 2012, 09:00 am
I just wanted to reiterate what people had said above and share some things I've found helpful.

I've suffered particularly bad with mental health problems for a while -- depression and anxiety was the original diagnosis and as psychiatrists do it spiraled quickly into other bizarre diagnoses. I've spent the past couple of years having therapy and taking their medications etc (no longer on meds).

I'm 100% better now - in fact, I feel better than I ever had in my life. I'm not sure why, but I can have a guess. I just (partly through insight gained while taking drugs) came to accept things. I realized that the things that bother me and keep me down can be changed or at least dealt with. Other things that bothered me such as what people thought of me I decided to just forget about. Took some work but I'm basically there. Ya know like that feeling when you've had a toke and go out in public and thing that you're acting retarded but you just don't care? I just decided to keep that. LIke seriously, who cares if that dude thinks the fact I put kethcup in my sandwich is strange, or thinks I'm overweight, or whatever. As long as he's not all up in my face saying it then it really can't impact my life in anyway.

The most important thing for me, I think, was setting a goal and just going for it. While I was ill I met some amazing people, all of which had amazing goals or had led amazing lives but they'd just given up and couldn't get back to it and I realized that I just wasn't trying to get back to what I wanted. So I thought what my goals in life would be, and I even went back and thought about my childhood goals, and set some to work towards now. It doesn't even matter if I reach them, or if I changed my mind, because just doing that was enough to start me on a path towards feeling better and, ya know, as many songs have told us it's all about the journey right? not the destination!

I also try to eat right and just be compassionate - like I know it sounds completely wank and corny but it sort of works in a selfish way. LIke I just try to be compassionate towards people and then I don't get as angry - haha.

I also agree with the person that said psych meds can hurt - I got away almost unscathed after stopping them, but I've had friends who have just been so fucked up by them. And while on them all I wanted to do was sleep.

Sorry, I know this post lacks structure - I usually go back and reorder - but I'm suddenly acutely aware that I may be procrastinating and should get something done! Haha. Happy to answer any more questions though.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: yovvit on March 27, 2012, 02:54 pm
Thanks everyone for the replies, they're incredibly helpful. It reassures me to know that some great, intelligent people can enjoy drugs  in moderation without tearing their lives apart.
I'm into programming so I think over Easter I'll set a coding goal higher than I can probably achieve but will do everything in my power to achieve it, good idea.
I suppose I could try some ketamine or mxe, can anyone tell me which would be more suitable? Considering I'm a complete novice with both, I have no idea what their effects are, dosage or anything. I'll check up erowid but if anyone could give me any extra information here I'd be very appreciative.
Thanks again guys, you're all the best.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: SlipLikes on March 27, 2012, 04:59 pm
I used to be in the very same situation!
What helped me was jogging every evening for 10 minutes, it relaxes you but makes the days seem more worth living.
I would also suggest trying something new, I just slept at the park yesterday, because I have never done that before!

Find happiness in life before doing drugs, they don't usually mix very well together.
I hope everything will turn alright man! :)
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: yovvit on March 27, 2012, 05:58 pm
@SlipLikes I did used to jog but I'm awful at running, get tired after about 3 miles, though I'm not overweight so it's quite odd. After reading your advice, I did go for a long walk in the sun listening to my iPod and I already feel a little better in terms of headspace so thank you. Not really sure if it'll last but hey ho I need everything I can get ;)
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: lilith2u on March 27, 2012, 11:38 pm
If possible? Get a Dog!:) There wonderful! And if that's not possible?.....a Cat. But what do I know I'm addicted to legal antidepressants. The ones I'm allowed to have! The ones Big Pharma control. .....P.S. don't do fish....there not worth the up keep....good luck
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: poolsclosed on March 28, 2012, 11:00 pm
You should consider the fact that you're chasing a high. Drugs are great! But so is being alive.

Exercise, a proper diet, lots of fresh air and sunlight, and meaningful human interaction can do wonders. You should also have a sense of purpose in your life. Listlessness is just another name for depression.

And while I hate to say the same as some people, there are drugs that can cure your depression or help you make breakthroughs. For me, 2C-E, 2C-I-NBOMe, and 2C-B cured my alcoholism. That order of taking them created a progression of liberation for me. I lost a great deal of my existential fear, explored my mind a little, and began to crave a drink less and less. During a bad 2C-B crash I realized that I had been chasing highs and using alcohol as a crutch for social anxiety. That night I realized that sobriety is just as good as intoxication.

I wish you well. :)
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: sniper123 on March 29, 2012, 02:46 pm
I broke up with my gf that i had been with for over two years. I have never been that deeply in love like that before. I had already went through my first heartbreak before that. So, i had got puppy dog love out of the way.

I was on the urge of suicide for weeks. I was so down that i couldn't get up the energy to do it. I kept trying to medicate with anything i could get my hands on. Pills, weed, and lots of dxm. (Dxm is such a shitty drug, but it was all i could get my hands on. I guess it was the dissociative of it that i liked.)

Then i stumbled across the silk road and ordered 100mg of MDMA and 100mg of 2C-I. I took the MDMA and 2C-I at the same time. (First time doing either substance in my life.) It completely shifted my perspective. I was happy to be alive. (For the first time i can remember since i was 13.)

Life can really kick your ass and get you in the dumps by what it throws at you. It's all about perspective. If you can control that then you can stay optimistic about any situation.

Also, anytime you use substances. You should always use therapy. They really go hand in hand with each other. Writing in a journal is a very good idea. It can help you reflect. Because, sometimes i would be down and not really know why i was down. (Because i had forgotten what was upsetting me.) When you write how you feel/do everyday. It makes it a lot easier to narrow down the problem.

I hope my spill helped a little bit. I know that it helped me to get it out. :)
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: lilith2u on March 29, 2012, 03:53 pm
Better living with chemistry!
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: moonflower on March 30, 2012, 12:13 am
i know how you feel. been there! daily meditation helps immensely. also, reading this helped me get on the right track: http://freespace.virgin.net/sarah.peter.nelson/lazyman/lazyman.html

be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. when you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
Title: Re: drugs and general happiness
Post by: SequelTo33rpm on April 25, 2012, 03:42 am
Most drugs are wonderful and all, but I feel a more appropriate attitude for them is to consider them a treasure or a sword of Damocles. They can enhance life, give you a magical or relaxed evening or day, change your perspective on so many things, make you bond so closely with people, and inspire you to do good. But just treat them with a bit of respect. These are chemicals and substances that literally change your brain and body chemistry for a little while and should be ingested responsibly. Reality can be boring, unnerving, and too much to bear sometimes but use drugs as a reward, not just a simple delay in the unpleasantness of life. I hope this helps you out and feel better mate. Consider exercise and keeping a journal of some sort. Also, if this sadness continues steadily for 2 months and disrupts your normal daily functioning please see a doctor as it may be more than a case of the blues.