Silk Road forums
Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: mrxempire on June 25, 2013, 05:34 am
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I love to do both marijuana and hallucinogens. However, whenever I am in a large social gathering while under the influence of these substances, I usually feel awkward and uncomfortable. When I'm by myself, or in the presence of a few close friends this is not the case, and I thoroughly enjoy being stoned or tripping. Does anyone else feel the same way? Is there a psychological reason for this? I know for many people, smoking weed or taking hallucinogens makes people more creative and social, but it seems it almost has the opposite effect on me. Its got to the point where i will refuse a free blunt on the way to a club or party just because I want to be more social and meet more people. I am naturally an awkward person I guess, even when sober. Well liked, but awkward. Maybe these substances just intensify my natural state.
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after heavy research, however, I have discovered that alcohol or MDMA will counteract these effects :P
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I find if you take enough LSD to experience ego death, there is NO SOCIAL ANXIETY or any other kind of anxiety. I never felt so much freedom in my entire life. Better than MDMA.
But it took me many LSD trips before I could do this.
I like to take a little bit of alcohol with LSD... not enough to get drunk, but enough to eliminate the initial anxiety.
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I feel like that when I'm really high on some indica. I hate indica strains when around others, especially people I don't know too well.
I already have horrible social anxiety but man it gets so much worse when I get that real "stony" high.
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I find if you take enough LSD to experience ego death, there is NO SOCIAL ANXIETY or any other kind of anxiety. I never felt so much freedom in my entire life. Better than MDMA.
But it took me many LSD trips before I could do this.
I like to take a little bit of alcohol with LSD... not enough to get drunk, but enough to eliminate the initial anxiety.
Are you saying that once I experience ego death, I won't have social anxiety or feel awkward when taking LSD ever again? Or just during the "ego death?" Call me crazy, but taking enough LSD to experience ego death in a public place such as a bar or party seems like a bad idea. One time while home alone I accidentally took way more LSD than I thought, and i believe I may have experienced ego death, but the heavy visuals and mindfucks I was experiencing gave me the impression that i wouldn't be able to act like a normal person in public. Maybe it WOULD make me feel less awkward, but i'd also probably be naked on all fours barking like a dog, so it seems like a double edged sword to me.
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Hey man. Ex-long time social anxiety handicap sufferer here. It's impossible for me to tell if your ailments are the same as what mine were. But, I can offer you some advice, and hopefully it will help. I'm actually writing a book that touches on anxiety, self image, and a litany of other inter-related topics. So, I'd like to think I have some relevant input.
Surely you want to be liked. You like to impress people, and have people impressed by you. This is easy with friends because you know them, and can gauge their reaction; you know what they like, you know what to do to please them. When in the company of many - especially people you don't know so well - your models of social dynamic propriety are unraveled, as is your confidence. We understand reality through the maps we have made of it by living through experience. Our maps are made of the terrain we have explored. Unexplored terrain is unmapped terrain. If you don't have a map, you're liable to get lost. We are most capable to deal with that which we are most comfortable with. We are more comfortable with that which we know best. IF you are uncomfortable in a particular guise, and want that to change, you must groom yourself into a position where that is where you are most at home. It's all about conditioning.
There's also the matter of your processing capacities. There's only so much we can process at once. When you're super high, or tripping - or both! - it's easy to get swept up in a flood of flow. SOOOOO much to process, not enough ability to make sense of the chaos! There are ways to train your mind to deal with chaos, as well as ways to increase your perceptual capacities; these are pursuits one should tend to their entire life. Intricate pieces - by my reckoning - in the great puzzle of being.
I'll write more later. There is far too much to say, and I was planning on spending my day away from the internet. If you appreciate my input, I will return!
Peaces!
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Hey man. Ex-long time social anxiety handicap sufferer here. It's impossible for me to tell if your ailments are the same as what mine were. But, I can offer you some advice, and hopefully it will help. I'm actually writing a book that touches on anxiety, self image, and a litany of other inter-related topics. So, I'd like to think I have some relevant input.
Surely you want to be liked. You like to impress people, and have people impressed by you. This is easy with friends because you know them, and can gauge their reaction; you know what they like, you know what to do to please them. When in the company of many - especially people you don't know so well - your models of social dynamic propriety are unraveled, as is your confidence. We understand reality through the maps we have made of it by living through experience. Our maps are made of the terrain we have explored. Unexplored terrain is unmapped terrain. If you don't have a map, you're liable to get lost. We are most capable to deal with that which we are most comfortable with. We are more comfortable with that which we know best. IF you are uncomfortable in a particular guise, and want that to change, you must groom yourself into a position where that is where you are most at home. It's all about conditioning.
There's also the matter of your processing capacities. There's only so much we can process at once. When you're super high, or tripping - or both! - it's easy to get swept up in a flood of flow. SOOOOO much to process, not enough ability to make sense of the chaos! There are ways to train your mind to deal with chaos, as well as ways to increase your perceptual capacities; these are pursuits one should tend to their entire life. Intricate pieces - by my reckoning - in the great puzzle of being.
I'll write more later. There is far too much to say, and I was planning on spending my day away from the internet. If you appreciate my input, I will return!
Peaces!
Very interesting read! I'v suffered from Anxiety,Panic attacks and social anxiety for over 8 years now. Only thing that seems to help is xanax, and getting loaded on Opiates.
Like the OP i use to smoke all the time and it helped but as i got older all it did was make me super P noid, and i have since stopped smoking.
Seems like a pain in the ass these days to get good anxiety meds from docs that work. I do get xanax just not enough for a months worse..
Interesting subject though OP.
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BENZOS.
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I get the same really. Too much pot will direct me to a very introverted trip, especially if smoking indica strains.
My ways to avoid this have been:
- only sativa highs while tripping and indica to relax on the comedown
- reducing the amounts I smoke prior to a heavy trip
- not smoking at all
- an hour of stretching helps me clear my head by providing more blood flow to the brain
- a nice, strong, refreshing, drink - ice cold Long Island Ice Tea :p one is usually enough to set you loose ;)
- Some guarana and other energy boosters, much before you ingest your trippy substance of course (don't want too much vitamin C at the wrong moment)
Then again, sometimes I just enjoy a solitary trip with some occasional human interaction. Smoking pot can help you travel within yourself.
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I get that awkwardness too except around people I know well and have known for a really long time. Alcohol definitely helps with this, but I've found alcohol makes me into a blabbering fool whereas normally I'm very quiet.
I definitely enjoy a nice sativa weed around others. It does make me nervous, but only because I'm afraid or concerned that the others will realize I'm high on something. It also makes it hard to judge others reactions. Like I'll make a funny comment or a joke and sometimes it seems like people don't get it and then for some reason I immediately feel the need to try to explain the joke or comment which only makes it worse. So I've learned to try to not talk too much if I'm up on a nice sativa weed. It does make it easy to listen to other people's stories though. I guess partially because it's very easy to tune them out if you aren't interested.
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I also get social anxiety when I smoke pot with strangers I JUST met. It definitely is because I can't process how to 'please' this person fast enough so I get nervous, when I'm sober I could handle meeting a stranger.
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Yeah pot makes social anxiety worse, but psychedelics in my experience obliterate it (especially PEAs).
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Are you saying that once I experience ego death, I won't have social anxiety or feel awkward when taking LSD ever again? Or just during the "ego death?"
During ego death. If you can make it to that level, there is no anxiety of any kind. But a lot of people get stuck in the no-man's land between ego-consciousness and ego-annihilation. And that can be scary. But once you reach true ego death, it is the most liberating feeling in the world -- in any social setting. I've never felt more free, open, self-confident, and alive in my entire life. My first MDMA trip is the closest thing to it, but even that pales in comparison.
Call me crazy, but taking enough LSD to experience ego death in a public place such as a bar or party seems like a bad idea.
If you are inexperienced with taking LSD, it can certainly be a bad idea. I would recommend having a sitter as well.
It took me many trips before I could handle LSD in more or less any setting.
One time while home alone I accidentally took way more LSD than I thought, and i believe I may have experienced ego death, but the heavy visuals and mindfucks I was experiencing gave me the impression that i wouldn't be able to act like a normal person in public. Maybe it WOULD make me feel less awkward, but i'd also probably be naked on all fours barking like a dog, so it seems like a double edged sword to me.
People love me when I'm on acid.
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Yeah you may be on all fours barking like a dog but you wouldn't really give a damn. Get in touch with your animal instincts lol.
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Hey man. Ex-long time social anxiety handicap sufferer here. It's impossible for me to tell if your ailments are the same as what mine were. But, I can offer you some advice, and hopefully it will help. I'm actually writing a book that touches on anxiety, self image, and a litany of other inter-related topics. So, I'd like to think I have some relevant input.
Surely you want to be liked. You like to impress people, and have people impressed by you. This is easy with friends because you know them, and can gauge their reaction; you know what they like, you know what to do to please them. When in the company of many - especially people you don't know so well - your models of social dynamic propriety are unraveled, as is your confidence. We understand reality through the maps we have made of it by living through experience. Our maps are made of the terrain we have explored. Unexplored terrain is unmapped terrain. If you don't have a map, you're liable to get lost. We are most capable to deal with that which we are most comfortable with. We are more comfortable with that which we know best. IF you are uncomfortable in a particular guise, and want that to change, you must groom yourself into a position where that is where you are most at home. It's all about conditioning.
There's also the matter of your processing capacities. There's only so much we can process at once. When you're super high, or tripping - or both! - it's easy to get swept up in a flood of flow. SOOOOO much to process, not enough ability to make sense of the chaos! There are ways to train your mind to deal with chaos, as well as ways to increase your perceptual capacities; these are pursuits one should tend to their entire life. Intricate pieces - by my reckoning - in the great puzzle of being.
I'll write more later. There is far too much to say, and I was planning on spending my day away from the internet. If you appreciate my input, I will return!
Peaces!
very interesting !!!!!!!!!!
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I really love being amongst people while having smoked weed. If my eyes aren't (carrying almost all the times eye drops) I really feel that I can be super sociable. I had always problems with socializing but after I started smoking weed I slowly lost the problem.
One of the main reasons I lost this anxiety was that I kind of "forced" myself into social circumstances that required seriousness and soberness.
Like meeting family etc. etc. If will never forget the days when I was hitch hiking around Europe and had no money, but always had weed somehow.
Being a stranger, roofless and without money in a foreign country felt really hard. But in such occasions when negative feelings started to come and I felt that everyone looked at me in a strange way, I rolled a joint. Communicating and interacting with people is one of my weakness and I top this feeling when high.
Another thing that I would like to mention is that under the effects of weed I find it easier to communicate with people who can't speak the same languages as me.
As for LSD, never had problems can I say. ( Haven't taken more than 10 times must I say)
And finally MDMA. Well, super easy to communicate, except if the person is not on something, or I have to talk to him/her outside of an event/party. I feel very uncomfortable when my eyes are so wide and the other is so sober (especially If I have to hide that I am on drugs)
That's my experience when combing substances and society. Very nice combination!
P.S. I am totally grateful about the existence of eye drop.
All the best,
Adamiz
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Social anxiety / agoraphobia may certainly be at play here.
As you state you are fine when using these substances at home or with people you trust, but get uncomfortable when doing so in a more public setting.
Often the fear of embarrassing yourself in broad public plays a role in this. You could fall on your face in front of your friends due to drug use and have a good laugh about that later, but i presume the idea of that happening openly for the world to see would seem horrible. This is not something to be worry about per se though, nearly no one is comfortable to be caught in public with their pants down.
Both alcohol and mdma can lift such inhibitions, so it makes perfect sense that those substance would be helpful. Alcohol has the added benefit that if you do happen to do something stupid (like fall over a pebble and land face down) you can blame that on being drunk, and few people will think less of you for it. Not that this would be a glorious moment at all, but if people conclude 'you fell because you were drunk' that seems much better compared to them concluding 'you fell because there is something (intrinsically) wrong with you'.
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I don't ever want to be around strangers on shrooms. I am slowly experimenting with being around strangers on (low doses of) LSD.
Pot, no problem. I use it in moderation as a social anxiety diminisher.
But there sure do seem to be a lot of people around suffering from what I guess I'll call "over 30 pot paranoia" - didn't have it when they were young, then suddenly mj has this anxiety-provoking reaction. At least, I've read a lot of accounts of this. I have not experienced it.
Ego death in public? WTF?
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I'm a very small person, so maybe it doesn't take as much weed to get me stoned. Maybe if I just smoked a few hits instead of a whole bowl, i might get the relaxed, anxiety relieving effects. All I know is that when im wicked stoned i turn into a vegetable in front of strangers
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Hey man. Ex-long time social anxiety handicap sufferer here. It's impossible for me to tell if your ailments are the same as what mine were. But, I can offer you some advice, and hopefully it will help. I'm actually writing a book that touches on anxiety, self image, and a litany of other inter-related topics. So, I'd like to think I have some relevant input.
Surely you want to be liked. You like to impress people, and have people impressed by you. This is easy with friends because you know them, and can gauge their reaction; you know what they like, you know what to do to please them. When in the company of many - especially people you don't know so well - your models of social dynamic propriety are unraveled, as is your confidence. We understand reality through the maps we have made of it by living through experience. Our maps are made of the terrain we have explored. Unexplored terrain is unmapped terrain. If you don't have a map, you're liable to get lost. We are most capable to deal with that which we are most comfortable with. We are more comfortable with that which we know best. IF you are uncomfortable in a particular guise, and want that to change, you must groom yourself into a position where that is where you are most at home. It's all about conditioning.
There's also the matter of your processing capacities. There's only so much we can process at once. When you're super high, or tripping - or both! - it's easy to get swept up in a flood of flow. SOOOOO much to process, not enough ability to make sense of the chaos! There are ways to train your mind to deal with chaos, as well as ways to increase your perceptual capacities; these are pursuits one should tend to their entire life. Intricate pieces - by my reckoning - in the great puzzle of being.
I'll write more later. There is far too much to say, and I was planning on spending my day away from the internet. If you appreciate my input, I will return!
Peaces!
This is a nice read, thanks... :)
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I find if you take enough LSD to experience ego death, there is NO SOCIAL ANXIETY or any other kind of anxiety. I never felt so much freedom in my entire life. Better than MDMA.
But it took me many LSD trips before I could do this.
I like to take a little bit of alcohol with LSD... not enough to get drunk, but enough to eliminate the initial anxiety.
Are you saying that once I experience ego death, I won't have social anxiety or feel awkward when taking LSD ever again? Or just during the "ego death?" Call me crazy, but taking enough LSD to experience ego death in a public place such as a bar or party seems like a bad idea. One time while home alone I accidentally took way more LSD than I thought, and i believe I may have experienced ego death, but the heavy visuals and mindfucks I was experiencing gave me the impression that i wouldn't be able to act like a normal person in public. Maybe it WOULD make me feel less awkward, but i'd also probably be naked on all fours barking like a dog, so it seems like a double edged sword to me.
first time ego death feels like dieing . that might make you anxious. :P
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Nice read from Moloch, looking forward to your next posts!
I get social anxiety from coke, found xanax helps with it
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Weed and Psychedelics.
I usually only do Psychs by myself to by pass the anxiety and keep my set in check.
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Very interesting read! I'v suffered from Anxiety,Panic attacks and social anxiety for over 8 years now. Only thing that seems to help is xanax, and getting loaded on Opiates.
Like the OP i use to smoke all the time and it helped but as i got older all it did was make me super P noid, and i have since stopped smoking.
Seems like a pain in the ass these days to get good anxiety meds from docs that work. I do get xanax just not enough for a months worse..
Interesting subject though OP.
Thank you. I ;) I have suffered from anxiety for a large portion of my life. It's been a long journey from there to here. There's not any one thing that 'fixed' me. There are a lot of things one can try, but it all comes down to: how you live your life; what do you eat, what's your place in the world (have you made it/found it yet), what do you know, who do you know, what are your living conditions, how do you spend your time. Everything you do makes you who you are. But, everyone is infinitely complex, and entirely unique. So, the task becomes: finding one's own path.
First and foremost, if you want to feel good: eat well (like a fucking scientist!), exercise regularly (if you are male, training in combat sports is recommended(though not necessary)), take supplements (an endless range exist, for just about every health problem/ailment imaginable(I consider supplements very important for a healthy functioning, quick-witted, focused, awake/alert mind)). It also helped me a big way to school myself in philosophy. Good philosophy is just pure common sense talk about life and just what is/seems. The philosophical discourse that has been going on over the past 2,500 years or so has been home to THE GREATEST ideas ever had or expressed. Making one's self familiar with the words and writings of the greatest minds that have ever been makes your maps of reality a little clearer; as you base you understanding of the world upon the understanding of people like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Nietzsche, Terence mcKenna, Robert Anton Wilson, William Burroughs. If you start to figure out who some truly great intelligent historical figures are, well... maybe you've found yourself some teachers and role-models.
Seriously, it doesn't take too much more than a healthy body, and a mind rooted in solid understanding of the world to make one feel good about one's self. Defeating anxiety is all about empowering one's self in the many ways possible, and conditioning one's self to be capable of dealing with the things the world may throw at you - both mental and physical.
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Thanks for the positive feedback, everyone. It's really making me want to work on my book, and stop slacking off and procrastinating. Never would have thought SR would encourage me to get more done. :)
Something I want to bring back up is perceptual capacities. As drug users, I'm sure we're all aware of information overload; the kind that leaves one in a stupor. I consider this to be a widening of the 'perceptual channels' as facilitated - often, not always - by some sort of psychoactive (insert reference to Huxley's 'removing the reducing valve of every day consciousness' here), to the extent that one's processing capacities are overwhelmed. This often leads to people getting flustered/confused/embarrassed/acting inappropriately; and sometimes we make fools of ourselves... :(
There are ways to approach this issue; there are different strategies, and different levels of action. The first thing is to tune-up your processor, whose speed and efficiency is bound to that of the general vehicle of your physical body. So, as said: good food, regularly; little/no processed BS, organic where possible, lots of fruit/veg, nutrient rich! If your body is working effectively: so is your mind; your minds condition is contingent on that of your body. There are also cognitive enhancer supplements like ginko biloba, DMAE(?AE/EA?), GABBA, bacopa, and many others besides to keep your neurons firing effectively/efficiently, to keep neurotransmitter ratios appropriately balanced and keeping that nervous energy under control.
Meditation is another good one. I don't practice it much, though, because I think it's boring. But, it is good practice in stilling the mind. What I like to do is kind of the opposite: I like to get ultra-baked and put myself in crowded places, on busy days, with tasks to complete; while not carry anything illegal. This is just to hone my mind to be comfortable in situations of overwhelming sensory input; training in composure keeping! You are training yourself to deal the chaos by imbedding yourself in chaos with little missions to accomplish. The tasks may be simple - go here, get x - but, that's not the point. The point is putting yourself in simple situations you know you can deal with, but being so high, and in such unfavorable conditions (crowds, lots of noise) that it is still challenging mentally. And, not having drugs on you, no one will throw a net over you, and take you down for being degenerate scum. ;)
Also, I think a lot of drug-anxiety also comes from fear of prosecution. I know I felt that one hard for a long time. Answer: don't carry drugs on you unless 100% necessary; then, have a safe hiding place; and - obviously - behave yourself; don't attract unwanted attention. You can be high in public once you can keep composure. No one can prove you're high. Them suspecting is no matter, just represent yourself well and it wont be a problem. Be polite and respectful, and 99.99% of people will leave you the fuck alone. :)
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I'm a very small person, so maybe it doesn't take as much weed to get me stoned. Maybe if I just smoked a few hits instead of a whole bowl, i might get the relaxed, anxiety relieving effects. All I know is that when im wicked stoned i turn into a vegetable in front of strangers
Higher cortical functioning shuts down when you're nervous/afraid/anxious. Linguistic facility is part of higher cortical functioning. Seems to me you're going into fight/flight mode because you don't know how to deal with the endless variables these unknown people might throw at you. A good way is to just address/introduce yourself to any new people that enter your vicinity as soon as you get a chance. Just engage them. From there, just have a few interesting talking points/questions you can throw at anyone and don't be ashamed of yourself. People lack initiative to make shit happen because they fear negative judgement, it's better to just be the person that makes things happen; rather than wallowing in awkward silence or being ignored.
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I mean it's not like a crippling thing. I've never had a full on anxiety attack when in a public place. I'm just awkward sometimes and don't know what to say. That strategy of instantly introducing yourself seems like a good idea, ive had that idea myself a couple times. The anxiety sets in randomly too. Sometimes i feel like i have no problem talking and introducing myself to people. Other times i get real nervous. This can happen both while sober or stoned/tripping, but mostly stoned/tripping
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you all realize that smoking weed is bad for anyone who suffer from anxiety? ie it will trigger panic attacks or make you feel really dis comfortable (of course the more you smoke/vape/?? - the worse you react to it)
Also taking hallucinogens in an unfamiliar environment (or with unfamiliar people) is always a bad idea regardless if you suffer from anxiety (especially new substances that you never tried before).
@Moloch - you refer to your anxiety as if it no longer exists, you ever tried CBT? cause we all know meds is just a temporary solution and while maintaing a good diet with exercise is helpful to some, it will never really "fix" the problem, well maybe your anxiety wasn't that hard to begin with (?) - mine is crippling so I have to be either drunk/benzo'd as fuck.
But I'm gonna start some heavy psychological therapy soon (CBT) as this is pretty much my last resort.
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I don't ever want to be around strangers on shrooms. I am slowly experimenting with being around strangers on (low doses of) LSD.
Pot, no problem. I use it in moderation as a social anxiety diminisher.
But there sure do seem to be a lot of people around suffering from what I guess I'll call "over 30 pot paranoia" - didn't have it when they were young, then suddenly mj has this anxiety-provoking reaction. At least, I've read a lot of accounts of this. I have not experienced it.
Ego death in public? WTF?
ego death in public = you don't give a shit about how you appear to others. You are free to do anything.
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Also taking hallucinogens in an unfamiliar environment (or with unfamiliar people) is always a bad idea regardless if you suffer from anxiety (especially new substances that you never tried before).
If you are unused to and inexperienced with the effects of said hallucinogen.
If you've taken LSD like 100 times, and experimented with taking it in public areas... it can be a GREAT experience, a socially LIBERATING experience, if you are prepared for it and can handle it.
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I'm a very small person, so maybe it doesn't take as much weed to get me stoned. Maybe if I just smoked a few hits instead of a whole bowl, i might get the relaxed, anxiety relieving effects. All I know is that when im wicked stoned i turn into a vegetable in front of strangers
Clearly the dose is what turns relaxation to anxiety.
Weed mess up your thinking, speed it up as well as fogging it. In the result, if your mental is not strong enough, you get lost in your thoughts. Losing the control of your thougths is harmless when alone but in the presence of people, you can then feel threatened, or at least frightened by your thoughts. Your thoughts end up scaring you and can turn to a violent paranoia that will leak onto your close friends and family. If you smoke a lot and often, then this paranoia will strengthen on its grounds and become engraved in your personality. That is what happened to me.
Since I stopped smoking, my anxiety lowered. If you want to continue to smoke, indeed just smoke a few hits. But I know I can control myself for 10 minutes, but after that I need my stone and find back my anxiety at the highest level. That's why I quit smoking weed, which has however been a so close friend, helper, and lover for two years.
Moloch has given you the white knight way to fight anxiety. Good health, food, sport, etc... Ok you sure must be right about all this but me I'm a lazy and stupid bastard so once again I have chosen... to cheat on life.
From now on, I will be the advocate of the devil.
I traded my cannabis addiction to an opiate one. To help me through depression and anxiety, I now use tramadol everyday. Of course, I am hooked on it like a camel to a pyramid. This is way worse than a cannabis habituation because it involves physical addiction, if I don't eat my pills my body will hurt. So I eat my pills, every day. But my mood is shining all day, I am relaxed and funny, I have energy for doing all types of things, and I help people around more than ever before. And people around me find me in good shape except the growing shadows under my eyes.
I can finally be a normal person, able to work in the society if I wanted to, looking happy, etc.. etc...
I find it crushing that our society puts so much pressure on us that we all suffer from anxiety. It is clearly time for change. Pfizer's Xanax is so much sold today that I think we could build houses with Xanax pills with a person or two life prescription.
Our governements are cheaters, our co-workers and fellows are liars, so.. yes I decided to cheat too. Onto my tramadol I like also to add some Valium, or alcohol or anything else. You can use these to reduce your anxiety man. I am the voice of your future cancer. I am the voice of your coming death. Just one pill. All problems be solved. Although, check out will come one day and you will suffer for it.
Soo, in the end what wanted I say ?
Oh yes can you all please stop talking about ego-death ? Because your egos, all of them, are still alive, I can definitely feel them. You cannot reach or aim for ego-death, because this would be your ego trying to reach it. And your ego won't kill himself my fellow numbs. If your ego decides he wants ego-death, then it is not ego-death, it is the idea of ego-death.
It won't come if you are looking for it. Never. It comes only to the people that don't even think one second of reaching ego-death.
Instead try to use your ego for Good. Use it to make the universe better. Use it to fuck the system in the ass like we all do here on SR. SR would'nt exist without Ego. We feel so powerful selling and buying illegal drugs under the blind eye of the authorities, using the system's own hands to carry them !!
And this is just the beginning. So lose your fears and join the fight when the time will come. That means take the fucking pill, get high, get stoned, get loaded. But don't use it to bear with the stress working for your jerk boss at your big company work; use it to acquire the confidence you will need to tear the fucking system down. Use their own weapons to destroy the fuck out of them.
Look at Internet. Internet was invented by US Army. And in the end Internet created WikiLeaks which fucked the US Army in the ass.
Let's all do that together ! You will hear the bell someday and then will begin our time.
Oh and OP, don't do coke or speed if weed already makes you anxious. Had to write at least one line that actually answer the topic.
"The Revolution will not feel better on Coke" he said.
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I am always high, and I no longer suffer from anxiety. It's just more challenging to gather/keep composure when high as fuck. The trick is to not think with your head, and allow yourself to go with your gut. If one gets too calculating and critical of themselves they'll never say anything because their internal dialog is just them critiquing themselves, rather than just feeling a certain way about something relevant to their life at time, and just speaking to that; and engaging others in this way. For example, you're getting high with close friends, perhaps you're talking about Edward Snowden, and the NSA craziness that's been in the mainstream news recently: here we have a topic. Gather topics. When new people come along over the course of the day, revisit old topics; 'Hey man. X was saying _____ earlier about _____. I though that was a great idea. What do you think?' In the world of human relation these 'topics' can also be referred to 'strings' - kind of a mnemonic game. Whenever anyone mentions anything you think significant, imagine this thing - they talk about a flight, you imagine a plane - with a string around it attached to them (it's easier to remember images, so this - although weird - does help). The goal is when you meet new people, you associate events/things/concepts to them, and if you want to talk to them: you have relevant material with which to approach them through.
Mastering language is an art. It is the deepest depth of human endeavor. It's what makes us human. Communication is one of the most important things to focus on if you want to have healthy relationships with others. But, as mentioned before, linguistic facility is deeply rooted to one's processing capabilities.
Peaces
;D
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Great conversation we got going here. Thanks to everyone who's taking part!
:)
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Moloch has given you the white knight way to fight anxiety. Good health, food, sport, etc... Ok you sure must be right about all this but me I'm a lazy and stupid bastard so once again I have chosen... to cheat on life.
From now on, I will be the advocate of the devil.
I traded my cannabis addiction to an opiate one. To help me through depression and anxiety, I now use tramadol everyday. Of course, I am hooked on it like a camel to a pyramid. This is way worse than a cannabis habituation because it involves physical addiction, if I don't eat my pills my body will hurt. So I eat my pills, every day. But my mood is shining all day, I am relaxed and funny, I have energy for doing all types of things, and I help people around more than ever before. And people around me find me in good shape except the growing shadows under my eyes.
I can finally be a normal person, able to work in the society if I wanted to, looking happy, etc.. etc...
I find it crushing that our society puts so much pressure on us that we all suffer from anxiety. It is clearly time for change. Pfizer's Xanax is so much sold today that I think we could build houses with Xanax pills with a person or two life prescription.
Our governements are cheaters, our co-workers and fellows are liars, so.. yes I decided to cheat too. Onto my tramadol I like also to add some Valium, or alcohol or anything else. You can use these to reduce your anxiety man. I am the voice of your future cancer. I am the voice of your coming death. Just one pill. All problems be solved. Although, check out will come one day and you will suffer for it.
I may be right. ;) I don't advocate sport. I hate sport. I never played team sports as a child. In fact, I considered those people 'the enemy'. :D COMBAT sport on the other hand! Especially within the context of a conversation based around (what i assume to be) a male with anxiety problems, I believe to be very much relevant. Exercise is one level; that's just good for your entire body; walking, whatever - just getting the blood flowing regularly, getting some fresh air - awesome. But, as a male, I know I have a lot less to feel anxious about than when I was essentially helpless in physical terms. I was weak, I had shit to worry about. I was weak, people took advantage of that. Now I'm not, I never have any problems that way; even though I am a more confrontational person now, more often in more dangerous situations - nothing fancy, just in general day-to-day living. I don't want to be presumptuous, but as I know reality, it can be a scarey place with a lot to be worried about. If you know jiu-jitsiu, chances are you have less to be worried about in general.
And the 'lazy, stupid bastard' argument is bullshit. :) If you're lazy, maybe you're not eating right, which is causing you vitamin/mineral deficiencies, which is making you lethargic. Also, you take drugs regularly, and if deficient: your body is not recovering as efficiently or effectively as it would if you were getting everything you need. All of this dulls the mind, causes lethargy, and feeds back into downward spiral into ill-health and mental retardation; not a jab at you, I have been there personally; dying in a stupor. ;)
A little microcosmic analogy, if you will... Ahem. I used to take a lot of MDMA when I was a boy. Too much. I slowly just went off it as comedowns became wayyyy too much of a chore. Well, before the last several time I took MDMA, I read an article that showed that neurotoxicity was greatly reduced in rats given murderous doses of MDMA when they were also given antioxidants; the neurotoxicity caused by oxidation stress. Groovy. I took that little gem, and being the proud supplement advocate I am now, prepped a concoction of anti-oxidants for my next roll. Which lead to one of my best/easiest comedowns OF ALL TIME. Booya. Here we see, folks, that some actions/reactions going on beneath the surface, within the workings of the human being in question, are eased/aided/assisted by things ingested; which affect THE ENTIRE ORGANISM. It's exactly how "drugs" work. Nutrition/supplementation is also about different compounds, different ratios, doses, desired effects. The similarities are stark.
The whole 'cheat on life' thing. This isn't a game. And, even if it is, who's life are you cheating on? Only your own. I'm not a moralist, believe me, so if it seems like I'm preaching here: please disregard that idea, each life is one's own; I'm just an opinionated asshole, who likes to try to put things together in a reasonable manner; although often ostensibly argumentatively. I'm no one's boss. I'm just stoned, sitting on my couch, trying to sound rational. :) But, that said... I don't know anything about tramadol, but I do know that most pharmaceuticals lay waste to the liver, and if you're dosing every day I hope you consider organ health, and how to be on top of that; if indeed you want to cheat life. ;) William S. Burroughs is a personal hero of mine, and he had an opiate habit for a large portion of his life, and lived to be 83! It's cool if it works for you, but is that the best possible way? Maybe it is, I don't know. Maybe you're still looking. Just make sure if you're taking anything everyday, you're on top of the possible health negs. I just don't believe on selling out your future for a slightly easier now; you may eventually have to face some hard consequences going that route.
I take lots of different drugs quite regularly, and am regularly complimented on what great shape I seem to be in. If only they knew... 8) I just take ingestion very seriously. Just like I only smoke/vape the finest cannabis, I only want the purest cocaine, the best quality opiates, etc. etc. etc. I also only want to eat highly nutritious, anti-oxidant packed, omega-fat rich, healthy food. Just like you're generally in better condition if you take pure mdma/coke, as opposed to something that's cut, so will you be healthy if you eat unadulterated, pure, wholesome food.
Peaces
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@Moloch - you refer to your anxiety as if it no longer exists, you ever tried CBT? cause we all know meds is just a temporary solution and while maintaing a good diet with exercise is helpful to some, it will never really "fix" the problem, well maybe your anxiety wasn't that hard to begin with (?) - mine is crippling so I have to be either drunk/benzo'd as fuck.
But I'm gonna start some heavy psychological therapy soon (CBT) as this is pretty much my last resort.
I had crippling agoraphobia, where I wouldn't leave the house for weeks/months at a time. Dropped out of school. Going to the shop was a huge deal. So, I consider myself to have had shit pretty severe for a long time. I didn't try CBT, technically, but a lot of what I did is used under the title CBT nowadays. I reconditioned myself with psychedelics and other drugs, and I re-conditoned/retrained myself with the internet, books and podcasts. My anxiety as was no longer exists. I am a different person, with different capacities and capabilities. The problems of a scared, confused child with no idea what to make of himself are not the problems of a well-educated man in good health with a good understanding of himself and the world around him. Let's put it that way. :) If you're anxious, there's probably some stuff you feel inadequate in relation to. If you've put a lot of hard work into yourself, making yourself capable, chances of anxiety getting the best of you are greatly reduced.
I just think CBT is giving your power away - no intention to rain on your parade. That's a big problem with anxiety sufferers to begin with: THEY ARE TOO WORRIED WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF THEM. As far as i know people get anxious because of other people; what they'll do to them, how they'll think of them, how they'll talk about them. This world that breeds this anxiety into people is disempowering on so many levels: you're subservient to government, to your boss, to the various scumbags/bullies of the world. Mammalian existence is all about hierarchy. Who's in command? Who is subservient? So many of our interactions are rife with power games. There are so many chain of commands that most people have to be the bitches of, by default. In studies done on primates, and other animals with dominance hierarchies, the subservient males suffer from stress, many stress-related illnesses, and die much earlier than those in dominant positions. If you make yourself subservient to therapists, when you are privy to the same information they are - given a little study - you are disempowering yourself (by my reckoning). You must be the shaman. You must find your own way. Not that other people can't help you, but the person in the best position to help you is you. And, the more you care about empowering yourself, solving your own problems, and making your life as you like it: the further you get from angst.
A big reason I encourage people to familiarize themselves with philosophical writings is that a lot of the ideas are very empowering. If you read nothing else, read Plato's 'Apology'; about the trail and subsequent killing of Socrates. Socrates, some say the wisest man who ever was, only ever claimed to know one thing: that he knew nothing. But, that's what apparently made him so wise. Everyone else was so certain of their positions - positions usually bound to some agenda, or flimsy moral sentiment. Socrates, by just questioning people on their beliefs, soon found out that the people with staunchest beliefs - the most certain - were always able to be proven illogical/unreasonable. Socrates was eventually put on trial for corrupting the minds of the youth and impiety; but, the real story was that he was pissing off a lot of very important people, and showing they weren't as wise as they may have liked others to believe. Socrates still remains a hero today because he was the smartest guy in town only because he was a sooth talker who knew everyone, including himself, was full of shit. (also check out Roland Barthes 'Death of the Author', the text that decimates the very concept of authority)
I don't know how coherent this all is, but I'm doing my best to string together relevant bits and pieces.
Much love
;D
Wasn't somebody asking about language??? Can't find that post... :(
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Also, I think Aristotelian - 'A is A, B is B', "truth" oriented - logic is a terrible model to be talking about mind/self/psychology with.
We are multi-levelled, ever-changing, endlessly complex multiplicities; not singular, unchanging ego's. As least this makes a lot more sense to me. There is no 'self', but many possible selves!
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Clearnet warning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LcIHwanRqs
This man is a hero. If you're confused by reality, that means you're being sincere. :)
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Clearnet warning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LcIHwanRqs
This man is a hero. If you're confused by reality, that means you're being sincere. :)
;D
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after heavy research, however, I have discovered that alcohol or MDMA will counteract these effects :P
MDMA, bingo. Finally you'll be able to let a random girl give you a rimjob.
Klonopin works for social anxiety but it'll take away from the hallucinogenics.
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Wow Moloch, that was some intense reading. :)
Enjoyed it, thanks.
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I'm a very small person, so maybe it doesn't take as much weed to get me stoned. Maybe if I just smoked a few hits instead of a whole bowl, i might get the relaxed, anxiety relieving effects. All I know is that when im wicked stoned i turn into a vegetable in front of strangers
Clearly the dose is what turns relaxation to anxiety.
Weed mess up your thinking, speed it up as well as fogging it. In the result, if your mental is not strong enough, you get lost in your thoughts. Losing the control of your thougths is harmless when alone but in the presence of people, you can then feel threatened, or at least frightened by your thoughts. Your thoughts end up scaring you and can turn to a violent paranoia that will leak onto your close friends and family. If you smoke a lot and often, then this paranoia will strengthen on its grounds and become engraved in your personality. That is what happened to me.
Since I stopped smoking, my anxiety lowered. If you want to continue to smoke, indeed just smoke a few hits. But I know I can control myself for 10 minutes, but after that I need my stone and find back my anxiety at the highest level. That's why I quit smoking weed, which has however been a so close friend, helper, and lover for two years.
Moloch has given you the white knight way to fight anxiety. Good health, food, sport, etc... Ok you sure must be right about all this but me I'm a lazy and stupid bastard so once again I have chosen... to cheat on life.
From now on, I will be the advocate of the devil.
I traded my cannabis addiction to an opiate one. To help me through depression and anxiety, I now use tramadol everyday. Of course, I am hooked on it like a camel to a pyramid. This is way worse than a cannabis habituation because it involves physical addiction, if I don't eat my pills my body will hurt. So I eat my pills, every day. But my mood is shining all day, I am relaxed and funny, I have energy for doing all types of things, and I help people around more than ever before. And people around me find me in good shape except the growing shadows under my eyes.
I can finally be a normal person, able to work in the society if I wanted to, looking happy, etc.. etc...
I find it crushing that our society puts so much pressure on us that we all suffer from anxiety. It is clearly time for change. Pfizer's Xanax is so much sold today that I think we could build houses with Xanax pills with a person or two life prescription.
Our governements are cheaters, our co-workers and fellows are liars, so.. yes I decided to cheat too. Onto my tramadol I like also to add some Valium, or alcohol or anything else. You can use these to reduce your anxiety man. I am the voice of your future cancer. I am the voice of your coming death. Just one pill. All problems be solved. Although, check out will come one day and you will suffer for it.
Soo, in the end what wanted I say ?
Oh yes can you all please stop talking about ego-death ? Because your egos, all of them, are still alive, I can definitely feel them. You cannot reach or aim for ego-death, because this would be your ego trying to reach it. And your ego won't kill himself my fellow numbs. If your ego decides he wants ego-death, then it is not ego-death, it is the idea of ego-death.
It won't come if you are looking for it. Never. It comes only to the people that don't even think one second of reaching ego-death.
Instead try to use your ego for Good. Use it to make the universe better. Use it to fuck the system in the ass like we all do here on SR. SR would'nt exist without Ego. We feel so powerful selling and buying illegal drugs under the blind eye of the authorities, using the system's own hands to carry them !!
And this is just the beginning. So lose your fears and join the fight when the time will come. That means take the fucking pill, get high, get stoned, get loaded. But don't use it to bear with the stress working for your jerk boss at your big company work; use it to acquire the confidence you will need to tear the fucking system down. Use their own weapons to destroy the fuck out of them.
Look at Internet. Internet was invented by US Army. And in the end Internet created WikiLeaks which fucked the US Army in the ass.
Let's all do that together ! You will hear the bell someday and then will begin our time.
Oh and OP, don't do coke or speed if weed already makes you anxious. Had to write at least one line that actually answer the topic.
"The Revolution will not feel better on Coke" he said.
You explained that exceptionally well man. It's pretty much what's been happening to me over the past 9 months but I just hadn't been able to explain it in words which makes me more paranoid. Except even small doses of weed has the same effects as larger doses. I can smoke a lot of weed socially and enjoy it if I'm wasted drunk or topped up with benzos. And yeah, I smoked weed in solitude for the majority of my weed smoking days.
+1 for the reassuring words mate.