Silk Road forums
Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: Poobanator on August 02, 2013, 05:28 pm
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I just read a thread that brought some old memories back about tripping, and tearing down the EGO that binds our subconscious to "protect us" etc. It got me thinking about my personal experiences and I just started spewing out some crazy stories that happened to me. I hope someone reads this, cause it's pretty important in my life and while it seems out there, I know it to be fact... These experiences have made a big impact on me and the people around me. Perhaps you'll learn a thing or two?
The story goes like this.
About 20 years ago, after my initial experiences with LSD, a crazy friend who was basically fucked on acid proceeded to mind fuck me by guessing every colored shape I would picture in my head.. without being wrong once... Needless to say I was dumbfounded, because to that point, I thought all "those people" were loonies... It was even creepier, cause every time I would think of a shape and a colour my buddy would start laughing like he just knew for fact the answer... and he did.
We then decided to follow that up by retreating to my room where i had 2 couches at either end of the room. I laid down on one and he on the other. We would take turns guessing letters a-z or numbers 0-9 for a total of 36 possibilities. One would project and the other would guess.... We did not look at each other, we just kept a note book, and by the time we were done we were right 50% of the time (crazy odds with 36 choices).
That's the crazy beginning to my story... After that I was a believer. (By the way, I wasn't on LSD that night, nor was I during the rest of this post)
I Began to seek inner enlightenment through Daily meditation, via Sensory deprivation and careful breathing. The basis of it was to try and clear the conscious mind so the sub conscious mind could talk to the conscious mind through closed eye visions more typically located in my upper field of vision. The key's early on were to try to think of nothing in-particular.
At first, all I would see is a purple haze (similar to the Chryslyds if your familiar with that book) with misty visions appearing here and there... Unfortunately once a vision would appear the natural reaction was to try and focus on it with your eye, which would typically only break the connection and the vision would quickly disappear. Over time though (Months and eventually many years), you would learn to allow the subconscious to speak to the conscious mind without interruption, without the need to interrupt.
As I became more and more skilled... This is what i believe will generally happen for most people.
Phase I
The things you see will represent the things and thoughts that weigh most heavily on your subconscious, it's like a pool of misdeeds or negative thoughts, that have never truly been dealt with at a spiritual level. You Ego and you ID have developed in such a way to protect you from these burdens as a defense mechanism to make life easier to bear, but those burdens are there deep down, and your sub-conscious mind is constantly working with them, trying to bring them to the surface, cause your subconscious mind knows that coming to grips with the reality of who and why you do the things you do, is the gate way to true freedom and happiness. (or at least it thinks it knows... like all parts of us thinks it knows)
So once my skills really got going, and visions started rolling with more and more clarity and colour (and eventually speaking to me etc..)... I learned about myself. Why I hate my Dad so much.. .Why I was mean to so and so... Am I gay ( I was 17 at the time, and hadn't got laid yet.. lol so I was beginning to wonder. not that there is anything wrong with being gay.).... And as I finally understood these and many other questions, amazing chills would run up and down my spine, and I knew I'd never be the same again.... My guilty conscious was beginning to not be so guilty anymore.
Trust me though this wasn't a stroll in the park... The ID and EGO are crazy powerful things. I would often get trapped in thought circles (best way i can describe it.).. where I would be progressing through a vision/thought process to the point I'm about to break through, and then all of sudden something would happen where I would constantly be thrown right off track and end up back to the beginning or somewhere else along the thought process. It's like I was literally a train on a track, and someone took there hand picked up my train and put it back at the beginning. At first I couldn't even recognize that was happening, but over time as the subconscious / conscious connection grew stronger, I would sense it similar to a short lived but bright flash of fear that may not of even happened, but it did.
Once recognized I got good at repeatedly traveling back down the exact same frame of thought, until it would happen again and again... Then eventually I would become familiar with the part of the vision where the interruption would occur, and I'd begin to be more then just a flash of fear, I would glimpse my ID/EGO, and as I did I would also sense why they were protecting me (everything you see in you mind eye's also coincides with a understanding of what it means and why its being displayed to you.. something else you learn, similar to how dreams become to be more under your control if you wish it, not to mention much more vivid.... Heck at one point you can think right along with your subconscious and hear it's thoughts much like the thoughts of your conscious mind.. but that's another story)....
THEN THE SHIT HITS THE FAN.... Dante's Devils are very real... I have seen many. And they are the scariest things I have ever experienced by 10 fold. It occurs when you finally cross the threshold of that moment where once your ego/id would conspire to conceal the truth.... I've stared into the Eye of the Devil himself in full vivid color and touch, I have actually heard him breathing deeply and huskily with his hot breath in my face, I have felt fear like no other fear.... And that is when you must learn to leave your fear behind, and stare back into the eye of the devil... And when I did that for the first time, I saw my reflection in his Eye, soon followed by the realization that I was the devil. Literally I was both the Devil trying to scare myself, I was also the my subconscious trying to teach the conscious and I also the conscious trying to come to grips with all us in my mind. what a moment, but in that moment you finally get the answer to the question you initially began your meditation on. (although along the way you would be guided to the actual question, not the one you thought was the right one)
Phase 2
Once you have gotten rid of most of the burdens that have been weighing you down.. the fun part begins. Your conscious now becomes free to do other things... For me I spent a great deal of time, concentrating on Time, Space, Gravity, Evolution, Society, Development of life in general, what is life... etc etc and it goes on forever. But the best thing about it, most of the time it was like watching a show on the discovery channel, I would simply put a question in my head, and I would simply watch and marvel at the myriad of potential answers.... I've seen things that 10 years later become the new working theory in the development of our solar system etc... The best thing I found most interesting is since i was so profoundly tied into my subconscious at the time, my theories all had to work with every other theory... and my subconscious knew way more then our muggled conscious minds could ever hold with its 2 hands. The subconscious had basically become a super computer that could work on tasks of your choosing, being able to draw from all your knowledge simutaniously.. (assuming you had actual interest in the getting the answers).
Other real cool things become possible too... Such as. Being able to have your eye's wide open, but fade all vision to black by concentrating on a single point (even while being in the brightest sun filled room). Controlling my heart beat, I would simply stop and feel it, then in my mind make a little "bump bump" sound in time with the beat, and then I would simply slow down the "bump bump" in my mind and my heart would follow suit, to the point I believe i Have successfully stopped it completely... Mind you that was immediately followed with feeling of fear which usually made it start beating again... but if i pushed it It felt like I was falling fast complete with the feeling of downward decent and motion.
And yes... I could read peoples minds eventually.. specially after instances of relating the story above with my buddy and the letters, numbers and colored shapes..... The telling of the story often seemed to bring on a feeling of euphoria in me, and those I told it too. It seemed as soon as I would tell the story, they would think of something with there eye's closed, and ask me what it was. More often or not, I would close my eye's not sure what to expect, but when I did I would be hit with a full color vision, and a chill running down my spine. The Letter "X" i would say... And then the next day that poor girl checked herself out of rehab. lol True story.
The freakiest part about all of this... is It's not only minds you can read... But you can actually know things that nobody knows. Case in point during the same rehab stay (the only time I was in rehab by the way, about 10 years ago.). We were always playing cards... and after relating my story. The dealer happened to drop a card while shuffling. The card landed face down on the table, and he looked at me, and he said what card is it? The first thing that crossed my mind is, how the hell will i know that... but again at that point in my life, I was starting to understand that people, and the universe are all part of the same thing, and maybe I was never reading minds at all, but I was only seeing what the universe allowed me to see and what I allowed the universe to communicate to me..
So with that in mind, and a feeling of calmness and belief, I closed my eye's.. and BOOM!!! I had a FULL COLOUR spot light vision, of a hand flipping over a card.. And at that moment I was just like my buddy.. I had to laugh, as the chill ran through my spine once more. I knew for fact what the card was going to be... It was the jack of spades.
That happened on 2 more occasions with the same group of people over the course of a week. I was right every time. I knew it without a doubt everytime.
That's about it... I know some of you won't believe this, but maybe some of you will. All i can do is tell you it's 100% the truth.
Hope you enjoyed that.. I could use some good karma if you did. Thanks for listening.
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dude this story sounds awesome, on my journey to find enlightenment as we speak. you have wisdom my friend.
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dude this story sounds awesome, on my journey to find enlightenment as we speak. you have wisdom my friend.
I appreciate that you took the time to read it.
It's an amazing story for me, considering it's the reality of my experience. And while I may have fell off the path of enlightenment long ago. The fact that I know such a path exists, with all it's endless possibilities... Well lets say, It's always in the back of my mind, swirling around and making me wonder what else may be possible.
Good luck on your journey.
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Bump for enligntment. lol
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Someone else wants to read this.. come on damn it. :'(
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nice write
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Sounds mad, were there any books or resources in particular you used?
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Sounds mad, were there any books or resources in particular you used?
It may sound strange but no... I was completely self guided, although as I mentioned I found it strange that the way the visions started was oddly similar to the book "The chrysalids" I had read years prior in grade 9. That was basically a book about a post apocalyptic world where some individuals were mutated to have "special gifts". At the time I thought it was just a good story... but later I began to wonder if the author had similar experiences to me and incorporated it into a book.
Then just last year, when I was explaining the same story of my life to another individual who majored in psychology... She was really inspired by the whole thing, and suggested that it sound a lot Carl Jung's the Red Book. Then shortly after I heard an entire radio broadcast on Carl Jung's Red book.. And Yes i would have to agree it's exactly the same sort of stuff I experienced, at least in terms of self discovery. (not so much in terms of knowing things I would normally have no right to know.)
So I would definitely recommend Carl Jung's Red Book, and it's something I've been meaning to pick up myself.
This may seem strange... But through out my journey, I purposely tried not to read materials related to meditation and the mind etc... I thought the less I read the more my mind would be open to the unknown? If that makes sense. I wanted to learn things for myself, without being pushed in any given direction by what I might study etc... I wanted to come to my own conclusions, and not necessarily try to make my conclusions fit with what i have read?
Some basic thoughts, I used to ground myself....
Never think you know 100%.. If you do, it's difficult to move beyond your current understanding. And with that said, you must learn to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run. (sounds like common sense... but it's true in matters of the mind, space, evolution and everything all tied together).
Answers are always very simple... Sometimes we want to imagine things as complex to explain all things.. But in reality everything at it's core is incredibly simple (or at least i think.. lol). It's only when you look at everything all together that it becomes complicated. (but in reality it's just a infinite amount of simplicity.)
And that's about it.. lol... Never be certain of your beliefs and SIMPLE SIMPLE SIMPLE.
Hope that helps,
Poobs