Silk Road forums

Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: kmfkewm on July 07, 2012, 09:06 pm

Title: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: kmfkewm on July 07, 2012, 09:06 pm
I just had a revelation from God!!!!! He told me that if you shoot yourselves in the head as quickly as possible after reading this you will go to Ultra Heaven! Do you really want to take the risk of not immediately killing yourselves??? Ultra Heaven came to me in a vision and it is like regular heaven but even ten times more awesome.
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: blackend646 on July 07, 2012, 09:10 pm
Sounds legit
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: Vinnyg007 on July 07, 2012, 09:12 pm
Sounds like Mormonism to me. Mormons get their own planet after they die and get to rule it as a god and fuck bitches for all eternity.
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: Jesus H. Christ on July 07, 2012, 09:16 pm
Verily I say unto you, Ultra Heaven is the most legit place ever, so spaketh the lawd your God. It holds the key to eternal + 1 life, and is reserved only for the federal agents who commit a holycide. So it was spoken thousands of years ago by the lost prophet Katiki, son of Bomiki, son of Gakala, son of Ufunono son of Patrakaia son of Jubaka son of Rikgora: "Whosoever is deemed with the title 'federal agent' in the times to come, shall have access to Ultra Heaven only upon slaying of themselves in the name of the LAWD your God."

Let the presence of the title of 'federal agent' be seen as proof of the legitimacy of these revelations, for how could Katiki have known of such a title to predict it to come, so many thousands of years ago??!?!
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: kmfkewm on July 07, 2012, 09:18 pm
See even Jesus said it, it must be true. Hurry up and kill yourselves you don't want to miss out on ultra heaven!!
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: cosmicwizard on July 07, 2012, 09:41 pm
I just had a revelation from God!!!!! He told me that if you shoot yourselves in the head as quickly as possible after reading this you will go to Ultra Heaven! Do you really want to take the risk of not immediately killing yourselves??? Ultra Heaven came to me in a vision and it is like regular heaven but even ten times more awesome.

Haha, Priceless.

It would be best if someone would organize a Ultra Heaven Festival as soon as possible. ;)
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: Gary Oak on July 07, 2012, 10:49 pm
What authority do you hold in the DEA? You know they're brainwashed to only listen to higher authorities, right? ???
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: kmfkewm on July 07, 2012, 10:59 pm
Who is a higher authority than the LAWD their God????
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: Gary Oak on July 07, 2012, 11:02 pm
Who is a higher authority than the LAWD their God????

They have no souls, they've abandoned God long, long ago. ;D
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: Stormtrooper420 on July 07, 2012, 11:36 pm
This is possibly the best thread I have seen on this site lol

Best Regards,
Stormtrooper
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: ihuntwhales on July 07, 2012, 11:48 pm
Sounds like Mormonism to me. Mormons get their own planet after they die and get to rule it as a god and fuck bitches for all eternity.

Sign me up.
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: DeadRa7 on July 07, 2012, 11:59 pm
This is possibly the best thread I have seen on this site lol

Best Regards,
Stormtrooper

In the Roberts rules of order terminology, "I second that"
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: Limetless on July 08, 2012, 12:08 am
LOL...funny shit. :P
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: kmfkewm on July 08, 2012, 05:30 am
hopefully we will see the scientology phenomenon at play, where a very impossible to believe belief system is spontaneously introduced and people in a certain social sphere are dramatically more likely to adhere to it than the average population (ie: so many people in the Hollywood  scene are firm scientologists)

Of course my goal is for this new spiritual concept of ultra heaven to spread through the social sphere of federal law enforcement agenies....

in the ultimate form of UNCONVENTIONAL WARFARE. shit i probably indirectly killed at least one fed, I mean people in hollywood believe in spaceship god why can't dea agents believe in ultra heaven :<

Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: ilovelsd69 on July 08, 2012, 08:52 am
Funny thread, you must post it on clearnet too and at the TV and EVERYWHERE !!!  ;D
Title: Re: omg urgent message to DEA agents
Post by: noosemagnet on July 08, 2012, 11:01 am
i tried it, it worked!