Silk Road forums

Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: cerealbox on May 06, 2013, 11:48 pm

Title: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: cerealbox on May 06, 2013, 11:48 pm
I'm just checking in on any interest in my semen. I'm asking for about 2 dollars a load. For an extra dollar I'll masturbate to anything you want me to in producing the load except for gay stuff, pedo stuff or scat. Will ship with box of chocolates, but you have to pay for the chocolates. Also I'm not liable for any chocolates I may have eaten while masturbating. Disease free.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: curiositymatrix on May 07, 2013, 12:00 am
Are you organic? Pesticide-free? Do you stick to a diet of mainly pineapples, avoiding things that could lessen the quality? We need some assurances that this "cream of the crop" is really the best.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: cerealbox on May 07, 2013, 01:31 am
Are you organic? Pesticide-free? Do you stick to a diet of mainly pineapples, avoiding things that could lessen the quality? We need some assurances that this "cream of the crop" is really the best.

I'm 100% organic except for a few cavity fillings. I consume little to no pesticides. My diet consists of a high protein diet of meat and low-fat dairy products with creatine, amino acid and fish oil supplements so you can rest assured that if I were ever to start lifting weights I'd be built. I have nitrous canisters so I can have the semen whipped for your pleasure.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: livestr0ng on May 07, 2013, 06:39 am
Ok but can I have you masturbate while under a drug or multiple drugs of my choice? I'd pay extra, of course. Also, do you provide straws with every order?
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: curiositymatrix on May 08, 2013, 12:24 pm
I have nitrous canisters so I can have the semen whipped for your pleasure.

That was too funny for me to come up with a good metaphor for how much it entertained me. From how considerate, yes also creative, an idea that is, to the raw hilarity of the notion.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: livestr0ng on May 11, 2013, 07:43 am
Are we done talking about your semen already?

What about the packaging? Can I be sure your semen would be delivered to me, without hassle?
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: curiositymatrix on May 11, 2013, 07:42 pm
Are we done talking about your semen already?

What about the packaging? Can I be sure your semen would be delivered to me, without hassle?

For a sufficient fee, would you consider a housecall, to ensure the freshest product?
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: livestr0ng on May 11, 2013, 08:39 pm
Are we done talking about your semen already?

What about the packaging? Can I be sure your semen would be delivered to me, without hassle?

For a sufficient fee, would you consider a housecall, to ensure the freshest product?
You could even wear a mask to remain anonymous. Just make sure the mask has a ball gag.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: BenJesuit on May 11, 2013, 08:41 pm
Lipstick Lesbian triste sold out? Damn.

That was good shit. Especially with the "flexible" brunette. 

Gimme a holler when you get more labia lickin' snatch in.

My TorMail addy's down below.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: livestr0ng on May 11, 2013, 08:43 pm
Lipstick Lesbian triste sold out? Damn.

That was good shit. Especially with the "flexible" brunette. 

Gimme a holler when you get more labia lickin' snatch in.

My TorMail addy's down below.
What the fuck just happened?!
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: Boonanny on May 11, 2013, 09:42 pm
Hey CerealBox -
As you know, the SR tradition with a new product is to give out some samples in exchange for detailed review.  Can I get some of your creamy jizz?  Here is a sample review I've done for other ejaculate vendors:

Product: Still-Warm Ejaculate

Vendor: BBC

Communications: 5/5  Said my name a lot and moaned "Oh God!" pretty well, no complaints.

Package: Big. Vein Covered.  Product was stuffed into small box.  Had 2 outer sacks.

Stealth: Not stealthy. Outer latex layer was not sufficient to contain volume, so it did leak everywhere.

Product: frothy, high sperm count, supplier obviously eats a lot of fruit and takes zinc supplements. AAA+

Overall 4/5. Great jizz though.



Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: Ѕpongebоb on May 11, 2013, 09:52 pm
I'm more of a eggs and fetus kind of sponge.
Title: Re: Cream of the crop, baby
Post by: Ballzinator on May 11, 2013, 10:53 pm
I have nitrous canisters so I can have the semen whipped for your pleasure.
I'm more of a eggs and fetus kind of sponge.
The fuck am I reading ;D