Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: nickthird on February 07, 2013, 09:49 pm
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Is there something you've managed to achieve (apart from fun) on drugs that you believe would not be possible for you under normal circumstances?
Like gaining a skill, socializing, or creating something.
I DON'T mean something that took you LESS TIME.
(1) What was it?
(2) What make you think you couldn't have achieved it otherwise?
(3) The drug.
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1. I used to have this incredible fear of spanteously going insane. I would repeat events of my life to myself all the fucking time because I didn't see the point of living if I didn't remember it. I also was very afraid that as I got older I would forget who I was and just change completely. Idk I also suffered from Derpsonaliztation disorder and felt like my brain was trying to take over my perception of reality. Its really hard to explain the fears and thoughts I had but basically I thought that I would go insane and holding on to past memories was the best way to keep my mind in what the world is suppose to be like..
2. After trying psycs I had this sense that I was REALLY digging inside my own conscious. I thought of my life from many angles and I had the sense that any enemy to my mental well being was not coming from inside my own head. I think this was partially a result of the drug and the stigma that psycs can make you "go insane" if you have a pre-existing condition (which I do, mental illness runs in my family).
3. Shrooms.
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cannabis has allowed me to live pain-free while psychedelics have given me some much-needed perspective on my life and sickness, allowing me to start healing after years of suffering. :)
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I feel I used to be a lot more of a jerk, lacking sympathy and such. After 2 years of smoking everyday and a few lsd trips I'm definitely more open minded andalso agree with the peace/love approach(So I'm not the jerk I was). I feel the use of drugs made me a better person then I previously was, I love being able to say that haha. The weed also helped me lose 20kg, used to be chubby but through the power of green I'm now lean ;D
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the heightened awareness of LSD allowed me to identify numerous factors in my life that were causing me to degenerate physically, psychologically, intellectually, and spiritually. I removed those factors from my life and became a better person as a result. These factors encompassed a thousand small things (my daily 'set and setting') as well as my overall belief system and attitude towards life.
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- Travel through the universe.
- I think you can do it without drugs but requires a lot of time and meditation.
- Peyote
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Self-confidence. Not like "Yeah, I talk more." but like "Yeah, now I can leave the house and look people in the eye and actually feel like I'm worth two shits." Spent a good portion of my life with out that.
Cocaine. Btw.
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i was able to remember a very old memory on acid from the time when i was an infant. .....
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made pornstars look like virgins
I would not have the endurance or stamina to repeat that sober
-speed + sex
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All drugs I've taken helped me be more open-minded. An example for something specific I've accomplished/created with the help of drugs is this picture I made in Photoshop:
720p: http://5xrder5zmkqkdary.onion/ballzi/planet_ballzinator_720p.png
1080p: http://5xrder5zmkqkdary.onion/ballzi/planet_ballzinator_1080p.png
4K: http://5xrder5zmkqkdary.onion/ballzi/planet_ballzinator.png
Wouldn't have been possible without 2C-P.
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i was able to remember a very old memory on acid from the time when i was an infant. .....
i've experienced that too.... also weird memories that i'm not able to place anywhere, of people i don't know in places that i don't remember being.... if i were a superstitious type, i'd think they were from past lives or something.
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Before I started rolling I used to have frequent panic/anxiety attacks. I was prescribed xanax and had to go talk to therapists and stuff. Ever since my first roll 2 years ago I haven't had any panic issues and I can finally live life without feeling like the world is about to end any second. Literally saved my life.
:o :o :o
Please elaborate on this one. I'd love to hear the thoughts that were going through your head during the role and how you felt before and after that day.
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MDMA helped me beat anxiety. It also helped me with the whole idea of letting people be themselves.
Not to judge them, or stereotype people - if people can unite on a chemical with some kind of music playing, why can't we have this all the time?
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Drugs give me a useful perception of reality that I would not be able to achieve otherwise
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.
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MDMA helped me beat anxiety. It also helped me with the whole idea of letting people be themselves.
Not to judge them, or stereotype people - if people can unite on a chemical with some kind of music playing, why can't we have this all the time?
Second this, it allows you to be more open and honest with people whilst you're not on the chemical.
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Before I started rolling I used to have frequent panic/anxiety attacks. I was prescribed xanax and had to go talk to therapists and stuff. Ever since my first roll 2 years ago I haven't had any panic issues and I can finally live life without feeling like the world is about to end any second. Literally saved my life.
:o :o :o
Please elaborate on this one. I'd love to hear the thoughts that were going through your head during the role and how you felt before and after that day.
While I still had the anxiety/panic issues, multiple times a day, I would have these little "freakouts" where I would think something horrible was going to happen. Most of the time I was unaware of what was triggering them, but sometimes it was more obvious (plane flying overhead, loud vehicles driving outside my window). During these I would feel like I was losing control and some sort of huge disaster was about to take place and kill me, and everyone around me.....You know huge apocalypse things, nuclear explosions, asteroids, basically just crazy shit that wasn't likely at all. It fucking sucked living like this, because sometimes I would freak out for a few seconds when I was with friends, and then realize I was still alive and there were no problems. I got pretty good at hiding it for the most part. I only had full-blown 5-10+ minute hyperventilating panic attacks a handful of times, usually they last only a few moments.
Anyways, one summer I was taking lots of molly in a short period of time (yeah i know how dumb that is but it was me being young, ignorant, and invisible). Just sitting around with a couple friends and talking about life, or going to a show. Ever since then my panic problems has gone away almost 100%, I'd say closer to 95%, but it doesn't have any effect on my everyday life like it once did. I'm not sure what exactly it did with my brain chemistry or whatever, but that's the only thing in my life that I did differently. Fast forward to today and I still take mdma on occasion, maybe every 6 weeks.
Unless I just grew out of the panic disorder, the only other thing I can point to is my mdma usage. My parents don't really understand how I "just got over it one day", and obviously I don't want to tell them that I think it's because I started rolling (my father is a police officer), but I feel a million times better then I did a couple years ago, and I think that part of my life is completely over now, which I am very thankful for.
After rolling I was able to work some things out in my head that I wasn't able to do with medication. This being, that I need to accept life the way it is, and not live life scared, because WE only have so much control of our lives. If we are going to all die one day because of some crazy apocalyptic event then fuck it, why let that keep you scared every day that you're alive before it actually happens. Basically I was able to let go of my constant panic and finally live freely.
I found this fascinating, thank you for sharing it :D
+1
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I went to a parallel dimension and telepathically conversed with a Golden Buddha! ;D
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The general feeling i'm left with after eating mushrooms is that in the end, we're all just people looking to connect with others, be heard and loved. No matter what kind of facade people hide behind (whether its from pain in the past, or a strong commitment to how others view you, etc?) At the very core of everybody is just a little child that wants to be loved.
This realization made quite an impact on my life. I'm not scared to talk to anyone. My anxiety isn't out of control. I don't get angry, and I'm simply honest with people because I feel like we're all the same.
Sway
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This may make me sound crazy but i assure im not but through the use of drugs over the past couple years ive kind of realized that life is like a lucid a dream of sorts. I have complete control of how my life goes and how i perceive every event around me. Ive never really believed in fate but now i think i have a way better grasp on that i am the main proprietor in how my life turns out and that the friends/family/etc can help but ultimately it is only yourself that determines your life surroundings and events. This may sound kind of obvious or it may sound a bit out there but i didnt truly realize my impact on friends and family. I would have to say my outlook on life is much better now
Btw probably through weed, LSD, and e i suppose
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got woken up by a phonecall for a job interview wanting me there in under 2 hours including 1 hour traveling. i suffer from pretty bad social anxiety so i took a couple valiums as a precaution. sailed through the interview got offered an immediate trial, then offered a job on the spot which was a step up from what i applied for and was completely unqualified and inexperienced for.
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MDMA helped me beat anxiety. It also helped me with the whole idea of letting people be themselves.
Not to judge them, or stereotype people - if people can unite on a chemical with some kind of music playing, why can't we have this all the time?
Second this, it allows you to be more open and honest with people whilst you're not on the chemical.
It's just the most beautiful drug in the world, isn't it?
I can't hear a single bit of '88 acid house music without all of a sudden reminiscing about the warehouse raves back in the day.
I usually get to a point with every chemical where I think "enough is enough, I don't like this anymore". But, I know that this will never happen with my beloved MDMA :)
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I was able to enter a whorehouse with the use of hash and alcohol.
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confidence. i was shy as fuck before i did my first E, then after dabbling a few times i've been as confident as ever. not sure if its actual confidence or the fact that i just don't give a fuck any more
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^^^ even when i'm sober i meant