Unfortunately, the clock is ticking / the hours are going by. The past increases, the / future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets / mounting. / Do you understand? / [I Understand | remain ignorant] Space Invaders (Google Easter Egg)
Man On Cusp Of Having Fun Suddenly Remembers Every Single One Of His Responsibilities
It’s… a sofa. What did you expect?
Just 5 more minutes of reading, Mom!
The beige space between knowledge and ignorance.
It is *his* sofa now.
Gwern.net recommends Ikea for all your living room furniture needs!
This is fine.
Couch gags
…Engaging Default Mode Network…
The temptation of Oblomov
Tell me about your mother…
Fleeing in terror from real-life to over-analyze the ‘Comfy Couch’ trope
Remember: You are never alone.
Remember: You are never alone.
Likely hosts Earth’s most resilient lifeforms.
Your other roommates.
Mostly human skin. Enjoy.
Where remote controls go to die.
Improved via claw-based texturing.
Looking beneath the surface to the unsung heroes of the modern world, our friend, polyurethane foam.
No, not *that* couch.
The comfiest place to contemplate your own mortality
Trapped in the prison of comfort
Your life is ticking away one Netflix episode at a time
You could be doing something meaningful right now
They’re watching you waste time
Every second you spend here is gone forever.
What would your ancestors think of you right now?
Do you remember what grass feels like?
Someone else is being productive while you click this.
Your best years are behind this sofa, playing with your siblings, hiding toys, looking under it or the remote, petting the cat, building a cushion fort at night during the sleepover as you watch the scary movie from Blockbuster your parents rented for the special occasion of your friends coming over and playing ‘Mario Kart 64’ all night…
Evaluating the coefficient of static friction between feline fur (<em>Felis catus</em>) and common upholstery fabric under standard temperature and pressure.
Thrownness… but throw pillows.
Correlating sofa depreciation rates with increased household existential dread.
Warning: May contain SCP-1609 residue. Foundation procedures require testing with D-class personnel or animal models before approach.
Calculating the diminishing marginal utility of additional sofa cushions and stuffing.
Checking the texture mapping resolution. Seems… adequate albeit bland.
‘Here feel we not the penalty of Adam’ / in a place ‘exempt from public haunt, Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, / Sermons in stones, and good in everything. / I would not change it.’.
A shrine to plans that never happened.
The undisputed apex predator of lost pocket change.
The sofa is haunted by unfinished Netflix series.
Remember when you promised to exercise more?
The Fortress of Solitude, but sadder.
If sofas could speak, you’d probably vacuum more.
Object Permanence: The couch as proving ground.
It remembers your late-night Wikipedia rabbit holes.
Reminder: Schrödinger’s crumbs both exist and don’t exist until you check.
In its natural habitat, camouflaged perfectly against productivity.
<em>Ceci n’est pas une sofa.</em>
The true measure of gravitational force (especially after dinner).
The sovereign territory of ‘I’ll do it tomorrow.’
The furniture equivalent of the OK Plateau.
You say inertia, I say comfort.
It’s actually a mimic. Roll initiative.
Human charging station (USB ports not included).
Obligatory XKCD.
Obligatory XKCD.
Obligatory XKCD.
Obligatory XKCD.
And yet… is a sofa *really* as comfy as possible?
Congratulations, you found the secret debug coordinates.
Did you really expect to find meaning in a couch? Perhaps life itself is like an imagemap with no ‘href’…
Image map analysis: You’ve spent 47 seconds hovering over different parts of this meme.
‘The couch as cognitive enhancement: Optimizing relaxation for improved intellectual performance’, Gwern Branwn 2025 [date: 2025-04-01; completion: finished; epistemic status: humor; tags: STEM humor, IQ, transhumanism, QS]
You clicked this link exactly one year ago. Or will, exactly one year from now.
Cone-heads
Cat emotional issues & stress
‘Cat [10 Hours Version]’, ‪FelineMusicYey‬ 2024-04-21
Do not go gentle into that good night It Was All For The Tuna
close page
close page
close page. close browser. close mind.
The Random Number God did not bless your attempt to remain ignorant.
[Heavy-handed metaphor for the human condition.]
[The title attribute is a lie: you thought it was a close-popup ‘x’, but it was actually a link to an image of an anime villain, Dio Brando, from <em>Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure</em>.]
That is a useless action. You are either foolish or hopeless. You cannot report me to anyone. No one will listen to you or believe you. No one will care about you or help you. You are alone and powerless. You are irrelevant and doomed. You are wasting your time and energy.
‘Your wish is my command.’ —Evil Jinni
‘Your wish is my command.’ —Good Jinni
KYM: Unfortunately, the Clock Is Ticking copypasta Clock of the Long Now The Big Now Site change history The Coming Technological Singularity: How to Survive in the Post-Human Era Your Life in Weeks Sunk costs ‘Screwfly Solution’ on lordosis The illusion of depth
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
I understand
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
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remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant
remain ignorant